Once Again

by Amy Durham

  I could see no apparent theme or organization, but it was oddly soothing, and I liked the sense of randomness.

  “My mom collects stuff,” Lucas whispered, leaning his face close to my ear. He took my hand again, just as his mother came in the room.

  My heart lurched into my throat.

  “Lucas! This must be Layla!” She breezed in to the room, almost ethereally. And she was beautiful. Younger than I’d imagined, with blond hair that fell in soft waves almost to her waist. She wore brown cargo pants and a bright blue tee shirt, and leather flip-flops. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought her a college student.

  “I’ve sort of told her about you,” he said, his fingers squeezing mine.

  He really had to stop touching me if he wanted me to be coherent.

  Yeah, right. Like I wanted that to happen.

  “Mom, this is Layla Bradford.”

  “And I’m Gwen Ellis.” To my surprise, she pulled me in to a quick, but fierce hug. “You can call me Gwen.”

  When she let me go, the smile on her face was beaming. I noticed her eyes were the same deep brown of Luke’s.

  His hand found mine again, softly enclosing my fingers with his own. My head swam. I wondered if my eyes were rolling back into my head.

  “And your dad owns String City, I hear,” Gwen was saying, motioning us to follow her out of the living room.

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “Oh don’t call me ma’am,” she said over her shoulder. “It’ll make me feel old.”

  We walked through the living room, across a hallway, and into the kitchen. It was small, but cozy, with yellow walls, and blue and white checked tile on the countertops.

  “I finished the brownies,” she said to Luke. “You two have a seat.”

  We sat, as instructed, while Gwen uncovered a plate full of the source of the chocolate smell that had greeted us at the front door.

  “So, String City is your family’s business.” She pulled bright blue bowls from a cabinet, and I watched with wide-eyes as she placed a huge brownie in each one.

  “That’s right,” I answered.

  “Her parents are Jack and Michelle Bradford, Mom,” Lucas put in.

  Gwen walked to the refrigerator. She opened the freezer and took out a gallon of ice cream. The she reached into the fridge and came out with chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries.

  Holy cow. Luke’s mom was making brownie sundaes.

  The three of us sat at the table in the eat-in kitchen, each with a huge dessert. The warm brownie, cold creamy ice cream, and syrupy chocolate were enough to overdose my taste buds, in a good way.

  Gwen was easy to talk to. She listened intently and laughed easily, her lyrical voice drawing me in like a beautiful song. I liked her a great deal.

  It was more than obvious how Lucas had turned out the way he had. With a mother like that, there was no way he could’ve been a jerk.

  She even excused herself after the brownies were eaten, giving Luke and me a few moments alone. We sat in the living room, and he explained that he and his mom hadn’t traveled much, but she knew people who did and she had them send her postcards from wherever they went.

  Gwen had made the necessary sacrifices to raise a son on her own, which meant no expensive vacations. He said one day he wanted to take her to Alaska to see the Northern Lights. It was where she most wanted to go.

  Nope, Lucas had no faults.

  Before we left, we slipped down the hall and found his mom in her office, typing away on the medical transcription that she did from home. She stood up when she saw us at the door.

  “Oh Layla, I’m so glad you came to visit.” She hugged me again, and, not so startled by it this time, I hugged her back. Eagerly. She lowered her voice to a whisper at my ear. “My Lucas hasn’t smiled this much in a long time.”

  Apparently she had the wrong idea about us, too.

  But as Lucas took my hand and walked me back through the house, I had to admit that I could see why she did. It was becoming difficult for me to keep things in perspective myself.

  When we got to the Bronco, he opened the door for me, and I was bowled over again by what a gentleman he was.

  Gwen stood at the door, smiling in approval as Lucas came around the front to slide in the driver’s seat. He looked back at his mother and nodded back.

  Something strange passed between them, something other than the close mother-son bond they clearly shared. It almost seemed like some silent form of communication, some kind of private exchange that only they understood. Gwen smiled once more and disappeared into the house.

  And, odd as it was, I discovered Luke’s wordless discussion with his mother only endeared him to me more.

  I was so in trouble.

  CHAPTER 9

  The next two weeks passed in a sort of blur, cooler temperatures, blustery winds, socializing, and homework. The routine I’d grown accustomed to continued, with one exception.

  Lucas now walked with me after literature, and delivered me to the door of my third period class. He didn’t hold my hand at school, but that didn’t matter. The thrill still barreled through me every day as we meandered through the crowded hallways together.

  People looked at us, curious. It seemed I was doomed to be the center of attention at Sky Cove Senior High, though I didn’t seem to be so annoyed by it anymore. I was becoming a bit more comfortable in the spotlight. Not that I would ever love it, but if I was there because Lucas was by my side, I couldn’t complain.

  I still struggled to maintain a distance, at least emotionally, from Lucas, which was proving more and more difficult all the time. I knew at some point it would become futile, but my sense of self-preservation demanded that I not allow my heart to become entangled all the way.

  Each time I reminded myself that Lucas and I were just friends, a little voice inside me responded with, “Yeah, right.”

  He’d still made no move that would indicate he wanted things to go further between us. But it appeared the attention he paid to me caused other boys to take notice.

  Which was attention I neither needed nor wanted.

  Since Monday of this week, I’d been asked out for the weekend twice, each time politely declining. It had been somewhat awkward, since the invitations had come from Robbie Taylor and Chris Andersen, who were part of the crowd that Jessie, Marsha, Tiffany, and I sat with at lunch. I was friendly with both of them, and I didn’t want my non-interest in dating them to undermine that.

  Wednesday I’d noticed Zack Weston hanging around my locker after first period, looking as if he wanted to talk to me. Thankfully, my daily visit with the girls gave him no opportunity to get a word in, and he pretty much just stood there the whole time, staring at the dirty once-white-but-now-gray tiles on the floor. He didn’t try to talk to me after literature, because by Wednesday it seemed everyone knew Lucas walked me to my third period class.

  It was Thursday now. Jessie waited for me in the parking lot, and as we walked into school together, I hoped the barrage of interest from other guys was over.

  If I were really honest with myself, I would admit there was only one boy I wanted.

  I scanned the front lobby for Luke’s six-foot two-inch frame, coming up empty. Sometimes he was there, but most of the time he put in a few miles of running before school.

  The boy who’d given me the head-nod on the first day of school stood at the edge of the lobby, with Luke’s ex, Kara Jennings, and a few other kids whose names I didn’t know yet. I’d since learned the head-nodder’s name was Lance Garrett.

  He approached Jessie and me, falling into step with us as we made our way down the hall. The warning bell had yet to ring, so the hallway was easy to navigate. Most kids were still hanging around in the lobby.

  “So Layla,” Lance said. “How’s it going? You adjusting to Sky Cove okay?”

  “I am, thanks.”

  Jessie elbowed me from my other side. She could see what was coming.

  “Well, I was wo
ndering,” he began. “There’s a home football game tomorrow night, and I thought maybe you’d like to go with me. We could go hang out at The Pizza Place afterward. Everybody gets together there, so it would be like a group date.”

  Lance was supremely confident, and I wondered where that had come from. It had been my experience that many times shorter-than-average boys were insecure. I wondered if my rejection would damage his self-image, or if he’d laugh it off and decide I had no idea what I was missing out on.

  “Thanks for the invitation, Lance,” I began. Over the past couple of days I’d perfected my thanks-but-no-thanks routine. “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m really not ready to start dating yet.”

  Lance looked at me sideways, tilting his head as if considering my words.

  I went on. “I may be at the game, and maybe even at The Pizza Place after, but I’m still just getting to know everyone.”

  He nodded, that same too-cool nod he’d given me the first day. Apparently he was going with the “she doesn’t know what she’s missing” response to rejection.

  “Probably not a bad idea,” he said. “Maybe I’ll see you there.

  “Sure,” I said, just as we reached the door to the chemistry room, where Jessie and I had our first class.

  “See you around, Layla.”

  And Lance was gone.

  He’d handled it pretty well, with no hint of awkwardness. Of course, he was a senior and not a part of the crew I socialized with.

  The warning bell rang, creating a sea of people in the hallway. Jessie and I stood just outside the chemistry room, about to step in, when Kara Jennings breezed past us, bumping me slightly in the shoulder.

  She was never in this hallway, at least not at this time of day. Still standing near the door, I saw her look at me, a slight smile on her face. It didn’t reach her eyes, and I wondered if her trip down this hall had been to spy on my response to Lance’s invitation.

  I wanted to feel smug... to think about the fact that Luke wasn’t with her anymore and for whatever reason had developed a friendship with me. The thought that Kara Jennings, tall and glamorous in every sense of the word, might be jealous of me should’ve brought smile to my face.

  Instead, I just felt small and insignificant.

  However, it was worth a tiny grin to think that she was not really so confident when it came to Lucas.

  Jessie saw my smile, and we shared a little chuckle before sinking down in our seats.

  ***

  During literature, Lucas said nothing about the home football game. Of course I knew he had a cross-country meet immediately after school on Friday, which would run him right up until game time.

  And really, what had I expected? We were, after all, just friends.

  He still walked me to my third period U.S. History class, though, and our presence still garnered looks from other students.

  At the door to Mr. Boyd’s classroom, he stopped me.

  “Are you coming to the game tomorrow?” He leaned a shoulder against the door facing, angling his head so our eyes met.

  My heart raced like a thoroughbred at the Kentucky Derby. The struggle to keep massive eagerness from my voice was huge.

  “Jessie and I were talking about going,” I answered, forcing myself to talk slow and even. “And maybe meeting up with Marsha and Tiffany.”

  “I have to run tomorrow afternoon, but it’s a home meet, so I don’t have to travel.” He reached for my backpack, taking it off my shoulder. He did it so absently that I knew he didn’t even think about it. The lightness of my shoulders mirrored the buoyancy I felt in my heart. “I’ll have to go home and take a shower after I run, but I should be there by half-time.”

  Exactly what was he saying?

  The question must’ve shown on my face, because he quickly added, “I’d like to sit with you, if you don’t mind.”

  How in the world could I mind that? Had he never looked in a mirror?

  “Of course I don’t mind,” I answered, a giant smile spreading across my face.

  Though I was still unsure. Had he asked me to be his date? He’d only mentioned sitting with me.

  “You look surprised,” he said.

  “Well, I... um,” I stammered. I took a deep breath and went on. “I just figured you had your own crowd of people you hung out with at ball games.”

  He just shrugged. “I don’t really have a usual crowd of people, unless you count the cross-country team.”

  “Oh.” I could think of nothing else to say.

  “I heard you’d had a few invitations to the game already,” he said. “And that you’d turned them all down.”

  “Small school gossip.” I rolled my eyes. “No secrets around here, huh?”

  “Not so much,” he laughed.

  I had to be careful here. I couldn’t give him the same story about not being ready to start dating, because when it came to him, that wasn’t really true. But I also couldn’t tell him that the real reason I’d turned Robbie, Chris, and Lance down was because I only wanted to date him.

  This entire situation was ludicrous. What had I gotten myself into?

  “If I turned anyone down, it wasn’t because I wasn’t flattered,” I said. “It was because it just didn’t feel right.”

  “Well, if it doesn’t feel right sitting with me, just say so,” he said, smiling.

  “That won’t be necessary.” I smiled back, reaching for my backpack.

  He pulled my backpack out of reach, put a hand on the small of my back, and guided me into the room.

  I was amazed that I could walk on legs that now felt like jelly.

  My seat was in the second row, and Lucas dropped my bag right next to it. All around us, people stared.

  “If I don’t see you after school, I’ll see you tomorrow in lit class.” He smiled again, turning to head for the door and to his own third period.

  “Thanks Luke.” I gestured to the backpack on the floor.

  “No problem.”

  CHAPTER 10

  Friday the school buzzed with activity and excitement about the football game. In the hallways, it was all anyone talked about. The girls talked about what they were wearing, and guys talked about washing their cars and their plans for after the game.

  Small town, small school must equal first home football game being the event of the school year.

  Despite my better judgment, I told Jessie about my conversation with Lucas about the game. She was sure it meant something. I was still shoving my enthusiasm into a black hole full force.

  During our walk from literature to U.S. History, Lucas reiterated that he’d be at the game by half time, and he’d find me when he got there.

  I walked around the rest of the day in a sort of haze, waffling between exhilaration and dread. It was confounding, not being able to decide how to feel.

  At lunch Jessie asked me what I was wearing, and I actually gave in and discussed wardrobe matters with her. Heaven help me, I’d succumbed to girl talk.

  But, it turned out to be worth it because by the time I left school that afternoon, I had a plan. Distressed blue jeans, a baby pink tee shirt, and a navy blue sweater that I could button up if necessary. Because, this was Maine after all, and September nights got chilly. I also settled on my brown leather slip on boots. They weren’t cowgirl boots or anything, but I decided it would be a nice testament to my southern heritage, since they did look like they were ready for mucking stalls or driving a tractor.

  Neither of which I’d ever done.

  Walking through the parking lot toward my car, with the sky overcast and the breeze just this side of cool, I realized that somewhere between lunch and now, I’d decided to be excited after all.

  Then I saw Miller-the-idiot standing next to my Honda.

  Great. My mood was now sour.

  “Layla,” he said. “I wanted to apologize.”

  I should be forgiving, I knew. But he’d embarrassed me so much that forgiveness was hard to find.

&n
bsp; However, it had kicked off whatever it was that was going on between Lucas and me, so I supposed I should be, if not grateful, at least somewhat accepting.

  “Okay.” I stopped at the front of my car, not willing to walk in the narrow space between it and the SUV parked beside me. It would put me much too close to Miller.

  “I was a stupid jerk,” Miller went on. “I’m surprised Luke didn’t punch me. But that wouldn’t be like him.”

  “Yes, you were a jerk,” I replied, my attitude softening at the mention of Lucas. “But I guess we all can be sometimes, so I’ll accept your apology.”

  “Good,” he nodded, backing out of the space between the vehicles. “I’ll see you later.”

  He took off in the direction of the football field, gym back slung across his back.

  Well, would wonders never cease?

  ***

  At home, I was so keyed up I could barely sit still. I ironed my clothes and laid them out and freshened up my make up, but that only managed to kill about an hour. I wasn’t expecting Jessie to pick me up for another two hours. I decided I could use some mellowing out, so I grabbed my iPod and curled up on my bed.

  I really wanted to be smooth and cool about the whole situation. I hated that I was tied in knots.

  I only meant to relax, to get my mind off the intense anticipation I felt about seeing Lucas at the game. But the subtle jazz sounds drifting through my consciousness soon had me dozing.

  At first, I knew I was dreaming. The pictures in my mind were all of lovely places in Sky Cove, and I saw them all as if I was flying above the town, just high enough to see everything, but not so high that I couldn’t see the details.

  When my flight took me over Old Birch Lane, the autopilot that was choosing my direction stopped and hovered over Emerson’s Antiques. At first, I saw the silver sedan, and knew Ashley was inside working.