After a minute or two she began to feel safe. Maybe it was because she knew he was beside her and would fight down any danger to protect her. She didn’t know why she trusted him, but she did.
She gave the thumbs up and he released her. The two of them swam side by side until they reached the reefs. Ryan had a high powered light so they could view the magnificent coral reefs and see the plentiful fish darting about, without having to actually dive down. Occasionally he would leave her side and dive under to show her something, but he’d be back a moment later, his eyes behind his goggles expressing his delight.
Obviously, he was in his glory down at the bottom of the sea, in this magical underworld. She would bet he was more comfortable here than anyplace on earth.
How curious this man was. What unfortunate circumstances had set him on the wrong path? He had grown up in a stable, well-off family. His father had been chief executive officer in a huge national organization, and his mother had stayed home, although she’d been active in their church and charitable events. When she had said she was coming to find him, his parents had tried to dissuade her. The murder charge had not been his first scrape with the law. They told her of other things he’d done in his wild youth. The motorcycle gang, the marijuana bust, his adolescent obsession with porn.
Kid stuff, mostly. And he had been released from prison early because new evidence had cleared him. She had only known him for a few hours, but already she believed his family had been wrong about him. Or was it because of her daughter that she was desperate to believe the best?
CHAPTER FOUR
Once they were back on board the Moonraker, Ryan invited her to have a cup of coffee with him. She readily agreed, hoping the conversation would allow her to tell him why she was there.
While he made the coffee, she took a quick shower and put on dry clothes. When she returned he handed her a mug of steaming coffee, which he’d generously laced with Bailey’s Irish cream.
“This is delicious.” She smiled her pleasure. “Thanks.”
He led the way upstairs and she followed. A few of the other guests were still lying around on the deck under the starry sky. They found a quiet spot away from the others.
“So what is it you’ve come to tell me?” He asked the question so abruptly, she was at a loss for words.
She sipped her coffee, giving herself a minute to think. “It’s about my daughter, Callie. She’s twelve.”
“Guess that makes me an uncle.” He cocked an eyebrow and gave a wry smile. “Funny. I never knew.”
“There’s a lot you never knew and you have missed out on so much. I’m sorry for that. I really am. I don’t understand what happened between you and your parents, and I don’t pretend to, but—”
“Drop it, okay?” His voice and his face lost its friendliness, and she knew she was stepping on dangerous territory.
She tried a new tack. “Okay. Your family is off-limits. I respect that. But I do have a favor to ask of you, and it’s a whopper as far as favors go.”
“Has to be your daughter. Nothing else would bring you all the way here.”
“Yes.” She drew a shaky breath, knowing she was about to have the most important conversation of her entire life, and that the quality of her daughter’s life was in the balance. She had to be careful not to offend him again.
“She has kidney failure. She’s been on dialysis for the past year, but it’s not working as well anymore, and she can’t continue with it forever.” She faltered, then forced the words out. “She needs a kidney. I came here to see if you’d be tested to find out if you’re a match.” Her eyes beseeched him. “Please? Her life is in grave danger without a transplant.”
“God, Leila, I didn’t expect that.” He sighed and wiped a hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry, I really am. Isn’t there a national registry for organ donors who can find you a match?”
“There is, of course.” She dug her nails into the palms of her hands, becoming more agitated by the minute. “We’ve already gone that route. She had a transplant over a year ago, from a cadaver, and it didn’t take. Her body rejected it. The nephrologist said we need to find a blood relative, a better match.” She bit her lip. “We’re running out of time and options.”
“If she already had one transplant, who’s to say the next one will turn out any better?”
“There are no guarantees, but it’s her only chance.” She kept her voice level, but it took great effort. What she really wanted was to grab his face and make him look at her and see how important this was. He had to do this. He just had to.
“Well, I could be tested, but then what?” He shrugged. “I mean, if my kidney is a match, she’s welcome to it.”
“Ryan, Ryan, thank you!” She grabbed both his hands and pressed them to her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, my God. I didn’t think it would be this easy to convince you. I’m deliriously happy. How can I thank you?”
“I don’t know how this works, but I’m willing to sign the papers and they can do it right away.” He laughed and looked mighty pleased with himself. “Maybe you can fly it home with you and save your little girl’s life. I’d like that.”
“But…” She frowned. “You have to come. I think they need you to be there so they can transplant it from you to her at the same time.” She had to explain the procedure, so he would know what was involved. “If you’re a match, and I certainly hope you are, the doctors at the transplant center will schedule a time for you and Callie to have the operation in side-by-side rooms.”
“Naw. I’m sure they just need the kidney. I don’t need to be there.” His jaw tightened and he looked away, staring into the darkness. “I’m not going back to the States, that’s for dammed sure.”
“But you’ll have to.” Now she was pleading, but it was almost worse to have him agree, easing her fears, and then indicate he might not follow through. She bit her lip, determined not to let him see weakness.
“Sorry, sweetheart. You can have my kidney and any other damn part of me you want, but I’m not setting foot back in the good old USA.”
She had been holding her breath, but now she released it. Anger replaced fear. “Ryan, you just said you’d give my daughter whatever she needs to keep her alive. You can’t back down now.” Her voice cracked. “You can’t.”
“I’m not going back to the States,” he repeated stubbornly.
“Please, I’m begging you, Ryan.” She touched his arm. “Please say you’ll come back with me, if you happen to be a match. If you’re not, you can stay here for the rest of your life, happy as a clam.”
“I intend to. I’m sorry if I got your hopes up.” He stood and stretched. “It’s getting kind of late. Perhaps we should turn in. Get some sleep, Leila. You probably haven’t slept in twenty-four hours.”
“Thirty-six.” She stared out at the dark water. “But what does that matter? I won’t be able to sleep now.”
“I’m sorry.” He turned away. “I’m going to run down to the cabin for a few minutes and grab an extra blanket and pillow. Then it’s all yours.”
“Ryan—”
She watched him walk away and her shoulders slumped, as though someone had dumped ten pound weights on top of them. She was so weary of fighting, of trying to be strong, when all she wanted was to break down and cry.
When Callie was ten, she’d had a severe viral lung infection which had caused the inflammation of the kidneys. She had responded to prednisone at first, but relapsed after two months. Things got worse after that, with Callie on dialysis as they waited for a donor kidney, and then when they found one, filling everyone with hope, her body rejected it. She needed to explain all of this to Ryan, make him see how desperately she and her daughter needed him. She’d come this far; she could not stop now.
She pushed herself out of her chair and headed to the cabin.
The door was open and she marched in. “Ryan, I’m sorry, but I can’t leave this alone. It’s too important.”
He didn’t turn
from stuffing clothes into a bag, and her voice filled with urgency. “Callie is getting sicker. She’s no longer responding to her medication, and the dialysis is becoming a problem because she’s so young and her stents are closing.”
He still ignored her, but she didn’t stop, walking into the cabin until she stood right beside him. “Oh, hell, you don’t know what I’m talking about and it doesn’t matter. You have to come and have the operation if you’re a match.” She was right in his face. “That’s all there is to it.”
He turned to look at her. “I told you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sure they can remove my kidney and medevac it back to the States. You don’t need me. Think of me as a cadaver organ donator.”
“Time is crucial.” She lowered her voice to keep from shouting. “The transplant has a better chance of working if the kidney is fresh, so to speak.”
“It doesn’t have to go in your hand luggage. As I said, it can be medevaced.” He grabbed a T-shirt off the floor and put it in his bag. “Won’t that be fast enough?”
“No. It takes too many hours. Even on ice, the organ wouldn’t make that long flight.” She sighed and spoke with more patience than she felt. “Look, Ryan, if you’re a match, you need to fly home with me immediately. As a matter of fact, I’m not leaving here without you.” Patience gone, she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
He snapped, “In that case your daughter will die alone.”
Leila’s mouth dropped open. Tears gushed from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She stared at him, realizing she was a bad judge of character. His family had been right all along.
He was an evil, heartless man.
CHAPTER FIVE
“I’m sorry, Leila. I didn’t mean that.” Ryan tried to put his arms around her, but she shrugged him off.
“Leave me, please.” Her words were icy, and he didn’t blame her.
“No. I’m not going anywhere until you look at me. I need to know you forgive me.” He rubbed a hand over his face, frustrated and filled with self-loathing and shame. “It was a terrible, cruel thing to say. I can’t believe those words came out of my mouth.”
She looked at him, her eyes still swimming with tears. Her silence hurt him more than any words ever could.
He lifted a finger and swept one sloppy, fat tear away. “Leila, I know you don’t understand why I can’t go back, and I’m not interested in explaining it. But I do want to help, I really do.”
Her body shook as she began to cry harder. Her sobs tore at his heart, and he wanted—no, he needed to offer comfort.
He wrapped his arms around her and drew her body against his. He held her for a long time, letting her cry it out, glad that she had his shoulder to cry on. Not that he deserved it, or had earned the right, but he took it anyway.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. We will save your girl. I promise.” His mouth was on her brow, dropping light kisses, his hands rubbing her back, warming her, comforting her. “It’ll be all right. I don’t know how, but trust me. Please, Leila?”
She lifted her face, and her lovely blue eyes were filled with hope. “Do you mean that?” She drew in a ragged breath. “You promise?”
“Yes, yes, yes.” He didn’t know what he was doing, but his mouth found hers, and he was kissing her as if his life depended on it.
She didn’t move away. He couldn’t be certain that she returned his kiss, but he was so lost in her that it didn’t matter. He wanted to kiss away her pain and her fears, and ease her torment. That was the only thing that mattered.
He didn’t need her to respond or to pretend that she forgave him. He could never forgive himself. He was not good for any woman, and the fact that he could say something so callous about her daughter proved it.
Her lips were so soft, so giving. He heard her whimper and then her mouth opened. Desire swept through him, as if a floodgate had opened, and his tongue was inside her mouth, hungrily exploring her.
Her hands rose to his chest and she pushed, arching away, but he had tasted something that had set his soul on fire. Need coursed through him, demanding satisfaction.
He fell away from her and stood there, breathing deeply, more shaken than she could possibly know.
“How dare you?” Her voice sounded more confused than angry.
“I’m sorry.” He backed out of the room, his eyes lowered, not daring to see the loathing in her face.
“You really are amoral, aren’t you?”
His chin came up and his ego returned in the nick of time. “Whatever you say, but I think you enjoyed it too.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” She folded her arms under her breasts, saying primly, “And don’t forget your promise.”
“Go to bed, Leila. Tomorrow is another day.”
“Right, Scarlett. Just remember you owe me.”
He laughed and walked away.
* * *
Oh, my God. Was she so desperate, so hungry for a man that she would not only allow her husband’s brother to kiss her, but be thrilled by it? He must think she was a total slut, the kind of woman who’d roll over for any guy.
Her cheeks flamed and she sank onto the bed. Her head hit the pillow, but this time Ryan’s scent didn’t repel her, and she wished it did. She could feel her heart hammering, and her entire body was alive.
This was not good—not good at all.
His kiss had reawakened all the needs in her, the ones long buried after Nick’s death. She didn’t mind having human needs, as a matter of fact she’d been wondering when they would resurface. But not with him. Not with Nick’s brother. It was almost obscene. Damn near incestuous.
Maybe it was simply because she was so tired and her guard was down. Meeting Ryan and having him agree to help her with Callie had been an extremely emotional experience. It was no wonder her passions had flared. She hadn’t behaved immodestly. It was quite natural under the circumstance, and she had nothing to be embarrassed about.
She turned off the night-light and removed her clothes, stretching out on the bed, supine for the first time in nearly forty hours. She was bone tired and hopefully she’d be fast asleep within minutes.
Minutes ticked by, but sleep didn’t come. The more she willed her mind to relax, the more active it became. She tried counting sheep since Australia had so many, but even that had no effect. Her body was tingling with desire and she couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.
Erotic images of Ryan kept popping into her mind. His lean, muscular body, his broad chest, tanned golden-brown from countless days under the Australian sun. He had a nice nose, perhaps a tad too long, a strong jaw line, and a full sensual mouth. A very kissable mouth. Not that she intended to do that again. It had been a mistake once; a second time would be unconscionable. As a matter of fact, she’d opened her mouth to protest his kisses, and then his tongue had found its way inside.
Wasn’t her fault.
It had been more than five years since a man had kissed her like that. No wonder her knees had gone weak; no wonder she’d wanted more than just his tongue.
If common sense hadn’t prevailed she might have grabbed hold of him and dragged him down on the bed. She had wanted sex, and heat, and to forget all her worries and be transported to another place. Was that so wrong? To think of herself and her needs for once? The past couple of years had been completely devoted to getting Callie well, and the emotional strain was unbearable. Sometimes she wanted someone else to shoulder some of the burden, to look after her for a change. She wasn’t a saint. She was a normal, healthy woman with a sexual appetite that hadn’t been nourished for a while.
She’d lost her husband when she was thirty-six, and there hadn’t been anyone since. She’d dated a few men, but their lovemaking attempts hadn’t stirred her the way Ryan’s kiss had. It probably had nothing to do with chemistry, but the emotional roller-coaster she’d been on lately. She was sure her erotic reaction to him was the aftermath of that. The strength of his arms as he held her, the solid chest against he
rs, had made her feel safe for a moment or two.
Yes, that was all there was to it. She had surrendered to the moment because she’d been weak with relief that somebody besides herself was shouldering some of the responsibility and taking action to save Callie’s life.
With that thought, she finally drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Leila woke to the sound of voices, and laughter, and much splashing. Obviously, several of the guests were enjoying a morning swim before breakfast. Unless she’d slept through breakfast? Peering out the porthole window, she could see they were moored near a small island, which a few swimmers were headed to.
She put on her still damp two-piece swimsuit, then freshened up in one of the heads before stepping out on the deck. She was hit by a strong, sweet smell, and knew it was some sort of tropical flower that grew on the island.
Glancing around quickly, she didn’t see Ryan, and she breathed a little easier. She poured herself a cup of coffee from a large copper urn, then wandered over to the table where the two Canadian women, Marlene and Karen, were sitting, asking if she could join them. “Of course you can.” Marlene made room for her on the bench. “You don’t have to stand on ceremony around here.”
“Thanks.” She nodded at the swimmers. “What a great way to wake up in the morning. I’d join them, but the coffee smells too good.” She took a sip and nodded. “It is. And speaking of smells, do either of you know what that beautiful aroma is? It’s almost like a sweet perfume.”
“Frangipani, I’m pretty sure,” Karen said. “Maybe we could swim to the island later to find out.”
Leila noticed the German couple and their two kids helping themselves to coffee and juice. “Have they served breakfast yet?”
“No. We’re waiting too. It’ll be laid out in the bar area like yesterday, and we help ourselves. They put on quite a spread. We had scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, and some very nice croissants.” Karen patted her tummy which was quite substantial. “Too much food, but that’s half the fun of being on holiday.”
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