The Beginning of Us

by Corona, Brandy Jeffus

  On this particular day I awoke with tears falling freely down my face onto an already soaked pillow. My heart hurt as an aftereffect of another bizarre dream.

  In this one, Josie was chasing me down an empty street. Her face was distorted, lips and eyes swollen.

  “Mama! Mama!” she had called, “Please, Mama, come back!” But I kept running away. It seemed like it went on for hours. Every time I turned to go to her, I was pushed away as if by a giant hand.

  My phone showed the day – May 15th, Josie’s' 6th birthday. My baby turned six and I wasn’t there. My heart was ripped in two.

  I turned the alarm off and buried my head into the pillow. I’d been stuck in this paradox for two months already. When was it going to end?

  ***

  “Teegan, come on girl. I hate that alarm,” Mom called out. The urge to share with her overwhelmed me. This secret had stayed hidden from everyone but Raegan, but the urge to tell my parents and Jaxon was overpowering. I had to soon, before I went crazy for good.

  I got out of bed and dressed quickly. Before I was finished with breakfast, Jax was at the door.

  “Hey, beautiful you need a few more minutes?” he asked after mom let him in.

  All I could muster was a slight nod, and returned to my cereal. Josie's face was the only thing I could think about.

  “Teegan, what's wrong?” he demanded

  Numbly, I shook my head. I was terrified that if I said anything, even one word, I would lose it. Instead, I just looked at him. His arctic blue eyes were clouded with worry.

  “Babe? You’re kind of freakin' me out.” He gave me a half smile, trying to break the ice, but it didn’t work. The faucet turned off and mom's hands grabbed my shoulders gently.

  “Teegan, honey, say something. You look really pale.” Her voice was more authoritative than questioning and my dam broke. I sobbed and sobbed until I felt like I had cried every tear left in me. Jax immediately enveloped me in a hug. My eyes were closed tight and I cried into his chest.

  “Hey, hey... It's okay, girlfriend, it's all right, whatever it is. Are you pregnant?” he said softly. The question made me cry harder. “‘Cause if you are, that's okay Teegan. I'll be here for you. I'm never going anywhere,” he continued. His hand ran over my hair again and again. “You know I love you Teegan. Whatever it is, I'm not going anywhere.” His last statement was full of determination. I caught my breath and turned away.

  “It’s Josie’s birthday today." My voice was barely above a whisper.

  Jax’s face went blank. “Who? Baby, who's Josie?” He looked over to my mom behind me with a puzzled expression.

  “She's our daughter, Jax,” I finally said.

  ***

  I sat across from my mother and Jax. Mom had nearly fainted at my confession and he first had to assist her to the couch and then came back to me.

  “Let's go into the living room, okay, girlfriend? Everything’s gonna be okay.” He made me drink the rest of my juice and handed me tissues to wipe my face. I was blown away that he hadn’t cussed me out and took off.

  He sat me down and positioned himself inches in front of my face. His eyes searched my face, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. “Teeg. Baby, tell me. Please tell me everything. From the very beginning. From the end, I don't care. Just tell me.”

  As I gazed into his eyes, wave after wave of fear crashed into me. Nausea made a brief appearance and then it turned into panic.

  “Y'all are going to think I'm nuts,” I murmured, already feeling dejected. Mom had yet to make eye contact with me.

  “No,” he replied firmly. “No Teegan. I won't, there’s no possible way that I'll ever think that of you.”

  “Me neither, Teegan,” My mom piped up. Concern was etched on her face, and there was something else. Her eyes promised that her words were true.

  So I told them. My explanation of coming from the future and being a teenager for the second time sounded crazy and confusing falling from my lips, but they both listened intently. Their faces showed no signs of disbelief. Just intent.

  “Jax, we've been married for nine years. Our daughter Josie, her birthday is today. And the night before I woke up like this,” I motioned to myself, “we had fought and you told me it was over.

  “It sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie but it’s real. It's so real. I've been stuck here, just stuck waking up every day as a teenager,” I finished, taking a deep breath.

  Silence greeted me in response. The ticking of our grandfather clock intensified with every second.

  “Jax? Mama? Please, y'all, say something. Anything.” I looked from one to the other, pleading.

  Finally, Jax cleared his throat. “Does Josie look like me or you?” his voice, a notch above a whisper. For a few moments I stared at him and then I let out a sorrowful laugh.

  “You. She looks just like you. And she's a total daddy's girl,” I answered. “Please don’t think I'm crazy.”

  Jax smiled at me, “Teegan, stop. I don’t think that. Out of all the teenage girls in the world, you are by far the most sensible, level-headed one out of them all.” He kissed my nose and continued, “Is there any way you can prove it? Not that I needed any proof. But something that you wouldn’t know right now, that you knew from the future?”

  I frowned and racked my brain. Finally, it came to me

  “I know why you don’t drink and drive.” My answer was confident, my voice more stable. I sat up taller as I explained, “When you were in elementary school, your best friend was killed by a drunk driver. It was July 4th and y’all were at a party with your parents' friends. The grown-ups were still up and y’all were playing baseball. The ball went out in the street. Your friend ran to get it. The car came out of nowhere; the headlights weren’t on ‘cause the driver was too drunk to remember. It hit your friend and killed him instantly.”

  Jax's face paled. He looked down, biting his bottom lip. Finally, he spoke, “I've never told you that.”

  I nodded my head, “Not in this time. But...” I trailed off. It was heartbreaking to see the shock and sadness covering his features.

  I looked over at my mom. Something she told me when I was about to have Josie came to mind, a confession she had whispered to me while I lay on the bed, writhing in pain.

  "Mom, you... You told me once about how frightened you were when Axel was born. When he was born, he wasn't crying. He was blue and motionless. The cord had wrapped around his neck.”

  "I've told that story before, though, honey.” Mom frowned, wringing her hands over and over.

  "But not how, while the doctors were working on him, you prayed silently over and over. Please God take me instead. Take me and let my baby live. You've never told anyone, not even Dad, about that part." I stared at her, unwavering, even when the tears spilled from her eyes. "And you said you heard God for the first time in your life in that moment and He said, No. You have more to come. And right after that Axel cried. You told me that story while I was in labor with Josie. You said to concentrate on her, that I was a mother now and mothers are the most selfless beings in the world."

  Mom's hands covered her face and softly cried. Jax stared at her wide eyed and then back to me.

  “See, I'm not lying. This is all real.” I sagged against the couch, all energy completely drained from my being.

  Jax took a deep breath and sat on his bottom in front of me. “Wow, I mean, I don’t know what to say, Teegan. It is just so crazy. But I believe you. I believe every single word you said.”

  “I do too,” Mom agreed hoarsely, busy wiping her eyes.

  It was in that instant I finally felt the weight lift off. They believed me. I wasn’t alone anymore with this secret.

  “So where do we go from here?” Jax asked, jolting me out of my train of thought.

  I shook my head, “I have no idea. I've just been taking it day by day. Raegan already knows everything. She's been helping me do research, but it always leads to a dead end.”

  Jax seemed
to ponder that statement for a moment. “OK, then that’s what we'll do. We'll just take it day by day.” His reassuring smile quickened my spirit and formed dancing butterflies in my stomach.

  Maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Teegan

  The remainder of the day was anti-climactic and Jax wound up sticking with me even after my mom reluctantly left. We decided to make a picnic and bring it out in the backyard.

  I still felt lethargic and while I tried my best to savor the time with him, I just couldn’t. My secret was out, but it was still Josie's birthday and I missed my little girl with every fiber of my being.

  Adjacent to the rusted swing set of past days, we sat in silence eating our sandwiches.

  “Just stop this Teegan!” Jax exclaimed, making me drop the cheese cube I was absentmindedly playing with

  “Stop what?”

  “This,” he motioned to all of me, “melancholy girlfriend is no fun. Don't you feel better after letting all that out?” I nodded and he continued, “Well shit, okay then. Good. Then we need to move on. Maybe we can't solve everything all in one day, but we will eventually.” He took an aggressive bite out of his sandwich and a drink of his soda.

  He sat the can down and held out his arms, “Please come here baby. I just want to hold you.” Tears threatened to descend as I crawled over to him with a heavy heart.

  “I love you Teegan, and I'm here for you. I've waited all my life to have this kind of love and I'm not losing you. Not now. Not in the future. Never.” He gently touched my cheek to his and continued, “I can't promise I won't ask questions about how things are as a married couple of grown-ups. I really wanna know. Especially about Josie. But I'm not gonna lose focus on us. You really mean everything to me. I'm glad you’re the one I end up marrying.”

  His mouth crushed against mine and a soft groan escaped his lips as he moved to my neck. My hands swept up into his hair, the smell of coconuts overwhelming me as I ran my fingers through. He led me down to the ground and gently settled on top of me. My body rejoiced at the closeness.

  “We're not gonna have sex out in my backyard,” I protested.

  He laughed and shook his head, “No, girlfriend, I'm going to carry you inside. Then I'm gonna make sweet, passionate, crazy love to you.” His dimples highlighted his handsome face.

  “Oh really now? That's your plan?”

  “Well, yeah. Right now I'm still a horny teenager with a very smokin' hot girlfriend.”

  I giggled and shook my head side to side, “You're a mess.”

  His eyes narrowed, staring directly into mine. An intense feeling that he could see directly into my soul burned in my chest. He whispered, “Always for you. A total mess.”

  “I love you Jax. I've always loved you since the beginning of us.”

  He turned his head slightly and kissed my hand. “Come on, Teeg.” He lifted himself off me and stood up. I followed suit and took his hand. But he let go quickly and instead hoisted me up into his arms. I wrapped my legs around him, which made him growl slightly. “You know I love it when you do that.”

  He fumbled with the patio door and almost tripped inside. I threw my head back and laughed. “Perfect; very smooth, mister,” I teased.

  “Hush lady,” he growled. We made our way clumsily into my room. We entered and I jumped down to close the door. I turned around only to find Jax right there, inches away. The heat radiated from his body and he pushed me slightly against the door. Our bodies were pressed so close. His erection was evident as his body slowly came in contact with mine.

  His kisses came hurried and fierce. He lightly nipped at my lips while his hand moved from cupping my face downward.

  His hands came to rest on my hips and he pulled me even closer, something I didn’t think was possible. I broke free from our kiss and panted, out of breath. This boy – he made me feel alive, mind, body and soul. He made me feel beautiful and free and loved.

  “Bed.” My command was breathless and Jax's eyes crinkled, lust darkening them slightly. He growled in response, one of the sexiest sounds ever known to mankind.

  He picked me up, his hands under my ass and walked backwards to my bed. He unhooked his hands and stood me up. For precious moments we stood there, silent except for our labored breathing.

  “I love you, Teegan Marie.” His finger looped around a lock of my hair.

  “I love you too, Jaxon.” Both hands came to the front of my blouse, stopping at the first button.

  “Can I?” he asked in a whisper, his eyes never looking away from mine. I nodded and he started unbuttoning. Every time his finger grazed my skin underneath the flames of desire erupted in my center.

  I wanted him. I needed him now. More than I ever had in our history.

  Those blue eyes of his were intense as he finished the last button and pushed my shirt back from my shoulders. It fell silently to the ground

  “You're so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. I bit my bottom lip as I went ahead and unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them down. His manhood strained against his boxer briefs and I trailed my hand up against it as I reached the hem of his shirt.

  He sucked in his breath sharply. “Teegan,” he warned. I put a finger to his lips and kissed the corner of his mouth.

  We finished undressing each other, unhurried. It was a slow dance, filled with anticipation. We had seen each other naked before, had had sex during prom night and other times, but undressing each other so carefully, so tenderly, was completely uncharted territory for us both.

  Seconds turned into minutess as we stood there naked facing each other. His eyes roamed my body up and down.

  “I want you forever, Jax.”

  “You've had me since the beginning, Teeg.” Tears glistened from those magical eyes of his.

  We embraced and both of our bodies gyrated against the other, needing the connection, wanting the other so desperately.

  The next hour Jax explored and appeased every single part of me. I held onto his sweat-slicked back and watched as every single one of his muscles flexed taut.

  He turned the tempo around and started going slow, and I reached around to grab his ass to keep him in longer; he felt so amazing.

  He leaned down and kissed me, “Baby you're gonna make me finish doing that.”

  “Just stay there, please.” I implored.

  “No,” he growled and turned us over so he was face up. “Now I will baby.”

  My body felt like it was on fire as I rode him, his hands traced over the valleys and peaks of my torso. He made me feel so beautiful.

  “Please don’t stop,” I begged. “I'm almost there” I slowed down and rolled my hips slowly over and over until the pressure was at its peak.

  “Dammit, Teeg. Dammit!” Jax cried out. He gripped my hips and raised off the bed slightly. The intensity of us finishing together felt euphoric. The waves of my orgasm continued to crash over and over.

  Finally, I collapsed beside him, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath.

  “Wow,” we both said at the same time. We looked at each other and laughed.

  “Told you it was going to be sweet, passionate, crazy lovemaking.” He turned on his side and faced me, smiling ear to ear.

  “It was amazing baby.” I whispered.

  “You're amazing.” he replied.

  “You're gonna lose your man card with all that mushy stuff,” I teased, my face flushing hot.

  “I don’t give a damn. If making you blush and seeing that smile makes me lose my man card, then so be it.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jax – June 2014

  “Jax, we've been married for nine years.” When those words left Teegan's mouth, everything stood still for an instant. At first, my initial response was disbelief. Not that I thought Teegan was a liar; she couldn't lie with a straight face, I knew that for a fact. I had gotten to know her so freaking well over the last couple months it was scary.
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br />   It was more because of my dreams. They were still coming, not every night, but steady throughout the weeks. They came in chronological order; Teegan and I were a little bit older than the previous one. Most of them involved us having sex, but there were some that were important moments, like us getting married and the last one; the one that had me stumbling around for the next few days, where we had a daughter. Named Josie.

  That dream had been really emotional, seeing Teegan in pain, hearing the baby cry. I held the baby and she was so tiny, I was mesmerized.

  So when Teegan confessed her situation, what had been going on with her, I was taken aback. I knew it was true. Everything she said was completely truthful and it scared the living shit out of me. What in the hell was going on?

  I knew, from my limited time on this Earth, that some things didn't follow any kind of exact science. There was a phenomenon that happened that nobody could justify and was only given credit to God. Remembering Sunday school from my youth, I knew there were tons of stories of unexplainable happenings. And even in present time, things happened all the time that nobody had explanation for.

  We were living in a modern day miracle.

  The relationship that Teegan and I had changed overnight after her confession. I felt older with her, and it sucked in a way because I felt like I was losing my teenage years in a snap. I couldn’t blame Teegan though, it wasn't her fault we were living in this crazy situation.

  The dreams I had weren't as happy as before, they involved a lot of fighting. Teegan and I sleeping in separate beds, fighting in front of our daughter. I would wake up angry as hell at how bad our situation was becoming in my dreams.

  School let out without much fanfare. We were officially seniors, but my focus was on other things. Still, I went out with my graduating football buddies for a party one night and let loose. Teegan had declined to come, wanting to hang out with Raegan instead and do more research.

  The research pissed me off. It was becoming an obsession and I was sick of it.