Love & Loss (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Hey you how’s it going? Nearly ready?’ she asked as she handed me an open bottle of beer.

  ‘Nearly,’ I nodded with a smile. ‘Cool outfit.’ She was in a glow in the dark skeleton suit with her face painted white with black eyes.

  ‘You too. How do you always manage the sexy outfits for a party?’ she moaned. I giggled, I was wearing a tight lycra all in one cat suit, low cut at the front, with a tail and some black furry ears on a head band, with my black heels with the metal spikes. I’d done my nails black and was just drawing on some whiskers and my black nose.

  ‘Why didn’t you pick a sexy witch outfit, or borrow my Nurses uniform and do cuts and plasters all over yourself?’

  ‘Now you say,’ she huffed as she plonked herself on the bed behind me. ‘Besides I couldn’t do sexy as I have my period.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘I have my big girl period pants on.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Come on, all girls have big girl period pants for this time of the month, it’s comforting to have your stomach being hugged and a strip of material as wide as a landing strip over your crotch just in case. No one wants the flash of a tampon tail hanging out of a thong do they?’

  ‘Well I haven’t had a period for over a year, but I never wore big unsexy knickers when I was on. If anything I wanted to feel more sexy and would wear some nice lace Marks and Spencers knickers.’

  ‘Ahhhh, the royalty of regalia for us commoners, the £6 per pair low rise bandeau lace thong. I can only dream,’ she sighed.

  ‘You’ll be able to afford them soon Lex, you’ll get your first pay check from the club in January.’

  ‘I know,’ she beamed. ‘I can’t believe you guys are trusting me and Doug to help you manage things. I mean come on, it’s us.’

  ‘We trust you implicitly with everything but cleaning and secrets,’ I smiled.

  ‘Are you ever going to let go of that?’ she laughed. ‘He wanted to propose, I could hardly crush his romantic dreams could I?’

  ‘No and I’m so glad you didn’t,’ I grinned, with another look at the picture. ‘So you and Doug working side by side, it’s really not going to be a problem?’

  ‘Well luckily we won’t be side by side much. I’ll do Wednesday and Sunday nights and he’ll do Thursday and Saturday, and we’ll alternate Friday’s so we can have two girls Fridays out a month still. I smiled and nodded. We’d decided not to open on a Monday and Tuesday night, figuring it would give everyone a break and Cindy had confirmed those nights were the quietest at Peppers anyway.

  ‘He seems to be getting serious with Sarah.’ I observed as I did some flicked out cat’s eyes with the liner.

  ‘Yeah,’ she sighed and swigged from her bottle.

  ‘I don’t think it’s too late Lexi. I see how he still looks at you.’

  ‘I know,’ she nodded. ‘I’m just not there yet. I mean I thought I’d sorted myself out with having Dad back in my life and doing all this therapy, but doing this counselling course is bringing up all kinds of stuff I still need to deal with. Things with Dad are going so well and it’s great having him back in my life, but there’s still the whole issue of him having left me in the first place and the whole absent mother shit.’

  ‘But you’re still seeing Dan, and Sam, how can you see both of them yet refuse to try again with Doug?’

  ‘Dan and Sam are just sex Mia, great regular sex. There’s no real bond there. Sure I get on with them both, but that’s it.’

  ‘I just worry that you’ll want him back and it will be too late Lex.’

  ‘Then I’ll just have to live with it won’t I? Come on, this party food isn’t going to lay itself, and before you ask I already put a tray of those chocolate caramel shortbread bites in your freezer for Gabe.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I laughed. Gabe really didn’t do sweet things, but he had a serious thing for those, it was his one downfall on an otherwise perfectly healthy diet. I slicked on some Vaseline and grabbed my beer and headed over to her apartment to help her set up. ‘I need some sugar,’ I exclaimed after about the seventh journey from the kitchen with the food platters.

  ‘Go and get a digestive biscuit from the snack drawer,’ she offered.

  ‘A crummy digestive is all you offer to your about to go into a sugar withdrawal coma best friend?’ I gasped.

  ‘I haven’t been shopping I have no chocolate in.’

  ‘You have Jelly Belly’s.’

  ‘Do not,’ she shot back.

  ‘Lexi Clarke! You little liar, you have your secret stash.’

  ‘Who says I haven’t eaten those.’

  ‘You’ve eaten a whole kilo since movie Tuesday? It’s only Friday Lexi.’

  ‘How do you know I’ve got a kilo?’ she demanded as she spun to face me.

  ‘I found them Tuesday night when you went to the loo.’

  ‘You’re testing me, you know I only buy kilo bags because they’re cheaper.’

  ‘Please, you really think after all this time I haven’t discovered your not so secret hiding place?’

  ‘You haven’t,’ she uttered.

  ‘I have,’ I nodded with a grin.

  ‘No way. No way you’d have found them, it’s the best hiding place ever invented.’

  ‘Want a bet?’

  ‘I’m not giving you the Choo clutch, give it up with bartering for the Choo.’

  ‘Officially you already owe it me for setting you up with Sam, besides they don’t make that one anymore and I love it.’

  ‘Tough.’

  ‘Fine,’ I sighed. ‘You have to help me with the cleaning tomorrow, not just shoving stuff in bags, a proper mop, duster and polish job.’

  ‘Deal,’ she replied with a cocky grin. ‘It’s never going to happen so I’m cool with that.’

  ‘Game on,’ I giggled and marched quickly to the kitchen with her in hot pursuit. I glanced back at her as I opened one of the kitchen cupboards and her face looked stunned, it dropped when I hauled out a large bag of self-raising flour and shook it like a maraca as I giggled.

  ‘How the hell did you find those,’ she grizzled with an annoyed stamp of her foot. ‘You’ve probably got bloody spy cams hooked up in every room.’ I tipped a load out on the work surface and laughed as she looked around the room checking for cameras.

  ‘Please Lexi. I came to make the coffees on Tuesday night and had to fill up your canister of sugar. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice an out of place bag of self-raising flour in your cupboard?’ I started easing out the juicy pear, raspberry and pina colada mix beans from the pile on the worktop.

  ‘But everyone has self-raising flour in their cupboards. I even googled to see what items were kitchen cupboard staples so I could make it look authentic.’

  ‘It would have been more authentic if you’d filled a wine or beer bottle Lexi. When have you ever used self-raising flour? You haven’t used the oven or grill since I moved in with Gabe in January, let alone tried to bake a cake in the microwave.’

  ‘Damn it,’ she groaned and came over, then slapped my hand. ‘Stop eating all the good ones.’

  ‘I don’t know why you buy these kilo mix bags, why not order individual bags of the flavours you like?’

  ‘They do those?’ she exclaimed as she looked at me.

  ‘You’re such an amateur,’ I laughed. ‘I shall expect you at 9 a.m. sharp for “Operation Clean-up” Lexi Clarke.’

  ‘Nine? Come on,’ she groaned. ‘I want to get wasted.’

  ‘Fine ten, but I want to get the clean-up done so I have time to relax. I’m knackered after all those interviews on top of my Uni work.’ I looked up and started choking on a handful of pina colada beans I’d shoved into my mouth as I stared at the kitchen door. Lexi slapped my back and turned her head to see what I was looking at.

  ‘Holy shit, can I have your fiancé for the night?’ she asked as we looked at him leaning on the door frame, ankles crossed, with a smug look of satisfaction on his face at our reactions.<
br />
  ‘Hello sailor,’ I coughed as I fanned myself with my hand. Gabe had dressed up in a white naval officer uniform, with navy epaulettes and gold braiding, a cap and his mirrored aviators. He took off his glasses and hooked them in his pocket, then removed his cap and I gasped, he’d had his beautiful blond hair virtually shaved off. ‘O my God, what have you done?’ I uttered as I walked over to him.

  ‘You don’t like it?’ he asked as he ran his hand over it. ‘I had a number three done, I thought it would look more authentic.’

  ‘It’s … short.’ I exclaimed, not sure how I felt about it. I mean he still looked seriously hot, Jason Lewis in Sex and the City when he shaved his head hot, but I loved his slightly messed up hair. Especially when I could grab it when we were kissing. I ran my fingers over it and could hear and feel it flicking back into place.

  ‘Yes it is short, but do you like it?’

  ‘I don’t know, it’s a bit of a shock.’

  ‘So now you know how I feel when you cut your hair off,’ he replied with a smirk.

  ‘Don’t even go there, again,’ I glared with a roll of my eyes. ‘I had about two inches off nearly a year ago Gabe, I didn’t have it all cut off and shaved.’

  ‘So you don’t like it,’ he huffed.

  ‘I’m not sure how I feel at the moment. It may have been nice for you to discuss it with me first.’

  ‘I don’t need bloody permission to have my hair cut Mia.’

  ‘Well neither do I,’ I seethed.

  ‘Ermmm please can I be excused?’ came Lexi’s voice from behind me.

  ‘No, you stay right there,’ I warned holding up a finger behind me as I glared at Gabe.

  ‘I don’t know what the big deal is,’ he sighed as he put his cap back on.

  ‘Ok fine, I’ll go and have mine cut tomorrow. I’m bored having it long just to please you. I’ve been fancying a shaved spiky topped look for a while.’

  ‘Don’t you fucking dare,’ he growled.

  ‘Well if you don’t need permission for a radicle change neither do I Gabe. Come on Lexi, we have stuff to do. I’m not wasting time with my chauvinistic arsehole of a fiancé who refuses to see that we no longer live in the dark ages and women have equality rights too.’ I tried to shove past him, but he gripped my forearm.

  ‘Mia,’ he warned.

  ‘O … jog on you, you … whatever,’ I muttered as I shook him free. I marched to the lounge with Lexi hot on my heels and heard the front door slam.

  ‘Feeling hot hot hot,’ Lexi sang at me as I threw myself on the recliner. ‘Wow, sexual TEN.SION.’

  ‘I’m so mad.’

  ‘Really? I’d never have guessed.’

  ‘Sod off,’ I laughed and threw a cushion at her head. ‘How dare he? I can’t cut my hair without permission or a stroppy fit that lasts for months, but he can go and shave all his off? I loved his hair,’ I sighed.

  ‘It’ll grow back,’ she shrugged as she flopped back on the sofa. ‘Plus he still looks hot.’

  ‘I know, but it’s double standards and what if he did that the day before we got married? I’d have been gutted.’

  ‘Well I guess we’d better have the talk then.’

  ‘What talk?’

  ‘The “O. My. God Mia’s getting married and we need to plan it all and get excited” talk.’

  ‘You think you’re so funny,’ I giggled.

  ‘Well we haven’t talked about it once since you got engaged.’

  ‘It’s not like there’s a rush.’

  ‘I may not be a “girly dreamt of her wedding since she was nine” girl either Mia, but weddings take time and lots of planning and preparation. You’ve really not thought about it?’

  ‘Ok, maybe a little bit since we got engaged.’ I smiled as I blushed a little bit.

  ‘So tell me, though I warn you if you try to make me wear some fucking girly dress with pompoms and tassels and big flowery skirts I won’t be coming.’

  ‘As if I’d go for that,’ I laughed. ‘I don’t know, I’d obviously want you and Georgie as bridesmaids, but I was thinking in a shift or bandage dress, something understated and elegant in black or maybe gold. I love a white and gold theme as that’s Gabe’s favourite colour combination on me.’ I looked at her and waited for her nod of approval. ‘I’m just worried that if Gabe has anything to do with it, it will be this big crazy day with horse drawn bloody carriages and releasing butterflies and the like.’

  ‘So what do you want?’

  ‘I’d just like it to be family and obviously you and Doug.’

  ‘Not even friends?’

  ‘Not for the actual event no, maybe we could have a post honeymoon party for everyone else, but I think I’d feel embarrassed having a load of people there. I know I’ve never really believed in marriage, but that was because I saw how easily people gave up on it. I don’t want that Lex, I want us to promise that we’re going to stay together forever, so I want it to be personal, heartfelt and intimate.’

  ‘Shit you’re going to make me all emosh and cry,’ she groaned.

  ‘Shut up,’ I laughed.

  ‘What about your dress?’

  ‘I guess we’ll have to start looking, I don’t think I’m going to be easy to please. I’d love to wear a gold one, but I think Gabe would prefer me in something more traditional, but you know me, I love sparkle, so it would have to have some sparkle in it. I can’t believe we’re talking weddings when I’m mad as hell with him and we have food to finish putting out.’

  ‘Come on then,’ she sighed.

  The party had been in full swing for three hours and Gabe and I had kept our distance from each other. I chose to mingle with the guests and keep them topped up with drinks, but every time we were in the same room I could feel his eyes boring into me. When I did risk a glance his way, my whole body begged me to drag him to the bedroom and rip him out of his uniform. He was so damn sexy, but I was determined to make him suffer for a while. Why should he get away with doing whatever he wanted and I had to toe the line? The trouble was I could feel the sexual chemistry from across the room, see the fire in his eyes and I let out a soft groan when I saw the obvious tent in his trousers. I looked back up and caught the smug look on his face as he clocked me checking him out, so I scowled and turned on my heels and headed over to Lexi’s to get myself something to eat. I loaded up my plate with some chicken and mushroom vol au vents, prawn toasts, spring rolls and my favourite cocktail sausages and turned around to see him sitting on the back of the sofa with his arms folded as he stared at me.

  ‘What?’ I mumbled through a mouthful of food.

  ‘Your backside looks so damn sexy in that tight outfit, I think I’m going to fuck it later.’

  ‘What if I’m not in the mood?’

  ‘You’re in the mood.’

  ‘Cocky.’

  ‘I am rather aren’t I,’ he grinned as he flashed a look down at his very obvious erection. I spluttered on my vol au vent, which made him smile even more.

  ‘Well don’t get too excited, because the only way you’ll be seeing any semen emissions tonight is if you head down to the dock and order shore leave with your new found rank as officer.’

  ‘Feisty girl’s back! I love feisty girl, but you know that resisting sex tonight is never going to happen.’

  ‘Well as you apparently have the right to exert free will over your hair, I think I’ll invoke my rights over non access to my backside, mouth or vagina thank you.’

  ‘You left out your big tits, I love to fuck those too.’

  ‘Well then the whole of this sensationally fuckable package is totally off limits to you tonight Commander Austin.’

  ‘Who’s cocky now?’ he raised an eyebrow in amusement, damn him, he looked even hotter when he did that, but I wasn’t backing down.

  ‘I learned from the best. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to the party and swagger like Jagger knowing everyone’s eyes are on my hot tight little body. Knowing that they’re all
lusting after me makes me so hot.’ I gave him a smile and went to leave, before I gave in into my desire to throw myself on him and went at it on the sofa. I was suddenly restrained by a pair of arms around my waist as he hauled me back against his body and kissed me right on my favourite neck spot.

  ‘You make me so hot. Damn it Mia, I need you now.’

  ‘I told you I’m not in the mood.’

  ‘Don’t lie, you know it makes me mad, I could see these from across the room,’ he whispered as he flicked one of my stiff nipples. ‘I’ve been watching you bending over and I can’t see any sign of VPL. What are you wearing under there?’

  ‘Nothing, totally commando, top to bottom.’

  ‘Fuck,’ he hissed as he bit my neck and I let out a whimper. ‘Hmmm not so immune to me after all eh?’

  ‘You can talk,’ I sighed as I pressed my backside against his erection and slowly ground against it.

  ‘Damn it Mia, you keep teasing me like this and I’ll be forced to take immediate action,’ he whispered in a sexy as hell deep tone as he kissed around my ear.

  ‘Would that involve corporal punishment Commander Austin?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Of what kind?’ I asked breathlessly as I felt myself getting wet. Damn it he was breaking me, I wanted him so badly.

  ‘I think a good spanking with the paddle would be in order, then I’d have to tie you up securely to stop you escaping and I’d leave you trussed up like that until you begged me to come and finish what I started.’

  ‘And would you? Finish what you started?’

  ‘I don’t know. How much does your greedy little cunt want this big cock inside it?’

  ‘Badly,’ I sighed.

  ‘Maybe I could dig out my clone cocks and fuck you in each hole.’