White Rose of Winter

by Anne Mather

  ‘Well, young lady,’ he said. ‘I trust this will teach you the folly of climbing trees.’

  Emma bit her lip. ‘Did I fall out of the tree?’

  ‘Yes, darling.’ Julie got to her feet and stood looking down at her. ‘But we’ll talk about that later.’

  ‘Yes, I think it’s time you had a little sleep again,’ said the doctor kindly. ‘And don’t worry. Mummy will be here when you wake up.’

  Outside in the corridor again, Julie said: ‘Where’s Mr. Pemberton?’

  ‘I should imagine he’s back in the waiting-room again,’ replied Doctor Miller. ‘As you’re staying, perhaps you’d like to go and explain the situation to him.’

  ‘Y-e-s. Yes, all right.’ Julie was hesitant, but she knew it had to be done.

  She walked quickly back to the waiting room and pushing open the door entered the room. Robert was seated in a high-backed chair, legs apart, arms resting on his knees as he glanced casually through a magazine he had found on the table nearby. He looked up questioningly as Julie came in and she closed the door slowly and leaned back against it, saying: ‘They’re giving her a sedative now, and she’s going to sleep.’

  Robert threw the magazine down and rose to his feet. ‘I see.’ His manner was not encouraging, and Julie hesitated before saying:

  ‘The doctor says I can stay here tonight, and I’ve agreed. I wonder – would it be possible for you to drive back to the house and fetch both of us a few things? Mrs. Hudson would pack them for you.’

  ‘Very well.’ Robert inclined his head in agreement.

  ‘She – she’s much better, isn’t she?’

  ‘Much.’

  ‘And – and it’s thanks to you that she didn’t have to wait for the blood to be brought here. I – I’m very grateful.’

  ‘That’s all right.’ Robert glanced down momentarily. ‘I’d just like to know one thing, however. How did you know that Emma and I had the same blood group?’

  Julie coloured. ‘Michael told me.’

  ‘I see.’ Robert’s expression was grim. Then in a tortured voice, he demanded: ‘For God’s sake, Julie, why should Emma have my blood group and not Michael’s? Only one of us had the rare grouping!’

  Julie made a dismissive gesture. ‘How – how should I know? These things happen—’

  ‘Do they? Do they really?’ Robert caught her by the shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. ‘Julie, I want to know the truth. Is Emma my child?’

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  JULIE stared at him for a long moment before speaking. She had been expecting this ever since she had so involuntarily suuplied the information about blood groups to the doctor and yet she was still unprepared for it.

  ‘I don’t think you have any right to ask such a question,’ she said at last.

  ‘Right? Right?’ Robert was savage. ‘Of course I have the right. If Emma’s my daughter, I deserve to know.’

  Julie tried to free herself. ‘How can you say that? When you left for Venezuela without a second thought for me!’

  ‘That’s not true!’ His fingers tightened, biting into her soft flesh. ‘Dear God, forgive me, but my every second thought has been for you! But you married Michael, you didn’t wait for me to come back, you made me despise you! And when I did return from Venezuela, I wished you dead, believe me!’

  Julie quivered, trying to keep calm, but it was terribly difficult when his every touch disturbed the emotional depths of her inmost being. ‘I – I wrote to you,’ she stammered. ‘I – I asked you to come back. I said I wanted to see you.’

  ‘Without giving me any reason whatsoever!’ Robert almost bit out the words. ‘Just a blank statement asking me to return to England. How could I answer that? What was I supposed to make of it? Had anything changed? I had to go to Guaba. I had to find the cause of the explosion. How the hell could I throw everything up and return to England when all I expected from you were more recriminations, more ultimatums?’ His face and voice were strained now. ‘Julie, you’ll never know how I felt that night when you walked out of my mother’s house! You’ll never know what agonies I suffered when I came to your flat and you threw my offer of marriage back in my face! I wanted you so badly, I loved you so much, that I think it was only the realization that I was needed in Guaba that kept me sane!’

  Julie could not bear to meet his compelling gaze without revealing her own feelings in her eyes. ‘It was all a long time ago,’ she said finally.

  ‘Not to me,’ he snapped, shaking her. ‘I can remember it as though it were yesterday. Do you think I haven’t scourged myself with the knowledge that if I hadn’t lost my temper with you, if I hadn’t lost control of myself, if I hadn’t behaved so – so mindlessly, that evening, you would have been prepared to see my offer for what it was: a desire to keep you with me at all costs!’

  Julie moved her head slowly from side to side. ‘How can I believe you?’

  ‘God help me, it’s the truth,’ he groaned.

  ‘How do I know it’s not some clever ploy to induce me to confess Emma’s parentage to you so that you can deprive me of my daughter completely?’ Julie’s voice was choked.

  ‘Julie!’ His thumbs moved rhythmically against the sides of her neck. ‘Julie, Michael left me the responsibility for Emma. I already have the right to direct her life in whatever way I choose. Now why do you suppose he did that?’

  Julie wrenched herself away, turning her back on him, hugging herself closely. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, in a muffled voice. ‘I just don’t know.’

  Robert uttered an imprecation. ‘Of course you know, Julie. Who had a better right than I? God, Julie, say it! Tell me it’s so!’

  Julie swung round, her eyes wild and defensive, her lips working tremulously. ‘Very well, Robert,’ she cried. ‘Emma is your daughter. But you’ll never be able to prove it!’

  Robert took a deep breath. ‘So it’s true,’ he said, speaking in a stunned voice. ‘My God!’ He took a moment to take it all in. Then he said: ‘Why should I want to prove it?’ His eyes had narrowed and he was regarding her intently.

  Julie shrugged defeatedly. ‘Don’t play games with me, Robert,’ she said. ‘I’m not a child. I know what this must mean to you. You despised me before. How much more must you despise me now? I don’t suppose you consider I’m a fit and proper person to have care of your daughter!’ Her voice broke and she turned away to hide her humiliation.

  Robert made an abortive movement towards her, and then swung on his heel and left the room, leaving her standing there, her shoulders hunched, her attitude one of complete desolation.

  Later that evening, an orderly brought a suitcase to the side ward where Julie was sitting with Emma. The orderly explained that the case had been left with the night porter and Julie realized that it contained the clothes she had asked Robert to collect from Mrs. Hudson.

  The following morning Mrs. Hudson herself arrived to see Emma. Julie had slept little in the narrow hospital bed and was sitting with her daughter when the housekeeper arrived. The warmth of Mrs. Hudson’s cheerful personality warmed Julie’s chilled system, and even Emma responded to her vitality. She had brought some jigsaw puzzles and a box of felt pieces which could be pressed on to a board to make pictures, and Emma was soon engrossed.

  Emma looked much better this morning, and although she never had much colour there was a definite lessening of her pallor. While she concentrated on her new toys, Mrs. Hudson looked rather reprovingly at Julie.

  ‘What on earth happened to you last night?’ she asked. ‘You look terrible! All eyes. Heavens, once Mr. Robert arrived there was little chance that the child wouldn’t soon be as good as new!’

  Julie sighed. ‘I didn’t sleep very well.’

  ‘But it’s not only that, is it?’ Mrs. Hudson clicked her tongue. ‘Do you think I’m a fool? You’re worrying about something, and Emma’s illness is only part of it.’ She folded her gloves. ‘And as for Mr. Robert!’ She raised her eyes heavenward. ‘What a foul temp
er he was in when he came back last night! I really felt sorry for Miss Lawson.’

  ‘Miss – Lawson?’ Julie frowned at her.

  ‘Yes, Sandra Lawson. She left this morning.’

  ‘She did what?’ Julie was astounded. ‘But why?’

  ‘Various reasons, I suppose.’ Mrs. Hudson bit her lip. ‘Most particularly the fact that Emma is to go to the village school, I should think.’

  Julie gasped, and Emma who had apparently been engrossed in her new toys looked up in astonishment.

  ‘Is it true?’ she exclaimed excitedly. ‘Mummy, is it true?’

  Julie shook her head a trifle helplessly. ‘If – if Mrs. Hudson says so,’ she said dazedly. ‘But – but why? Did he say?’

  ‘I hardly had words with him,’ replied Mrs. Hudson, enjoying her moment of importance. ‘I overheard their voices in the lounge, and later Miss Lawson told me the gist of what he had said. But personally I think she kept the most of it to herself.’

  ‘And I’m to go to school,’ Emma breathed.

  ‘It seems so,’ agreed Julie. ‘But – did he not mention Mr. Hillingdon?’

  ‘Not to me, Mrs. Pemberton. As I say, he wasn’t in the best of tempers when he arrived, and he hadn’t improved much when he left from the sound of his tyres on the forecourt. Fair tore it up, he did.’

  Julie sighed. ‘Well, at least that’s something we’ve achieved.’

  Mrs. Hudson nodded. ‘That’s what I thought. I don’t really think Mr. Robert ever liked that woman. She wasn’t the sort to have charge of a sensitive child.’

  Emma bounced a little in the bed and Julie had to restrain her. ‘When will I be able to start school?’

  Julie drew the bedcovers straight. ‘Now calm down, or you’ll make your head ache again and then you’ll have to stay in hospital for much longer. You’ll probably start school after Christmas, when all the other children start.’

  Emma clasped her hands round her drawn-up knees. ‘Oh, how super!’

  ‘Yes, but you’re not to imagine you can get your own way over everything, just because in this instance, Uncle Robert—’ Julie broke off. If she wasn’t careful she was going to make a complete fool of herself and burst into tears.

  Mrs. Hudson seemed to sense her upheaval, for she distracted Emma’s attention by showing an interest in what she was doing and presently Julie got herself in control again.

  Mrs. Hudson left with Julie’s promise that she would ring her later in the day and let her know when she was coming home. Emma was much less tearful at the prospect of being left today and Julie thought she might go back to the house once Emma was asleep that evening.

  In the afternoon they had an unexpected visitor. It was Lucy Pemberton, and she swept into the sideward like visiting royalty.

  ‘Oh, my precious,’ she exclaimed, when she saw the bandages round Emma’s head. ‘Darling, what have they done to you?’

  Emma was not used to this kind of reaction and looked as though she was about to burst into tears, until Julie moved forward and said: ‘Emma’s much, much better. And the staff here have been marvellous, haven’t they, darling?’

  Emma nodded, but Lucy looked about her with frank distaste. ‘But it’s so bare!’ she exclaimed. ‘The child should be moved to a private nursing home, somewhere civilized, where there are carpets on the floor, and wallpaper on the walls!’ Then she turned her attention back to Emma. ‘Now, darling, how are you feeling?’

  ‘I’m all right,’ said Emma, looking up at Julie. She had never felt really at ease with her grandmother since the night she had been sick at Robert’s apartment.

  Lucy perched on the side of her bed. ‘See what I’ve brought you,’ she said, putting a parcel down in front of her. ‘That’s from Grandma to say what a brave little girl you’ve been.’ Then as Emma began to unwrap the parcel she looked again at Julie. ‘Why wasn’t I informed of this last evening?’

  Julie looked taken aback ‘Were – weren’t you? I – I thought that – that Robert—’

  ‘Robert informed me this morning – by telephone,’ stated Lucy disgustedly. ‘Naturally he expected you – as her mother – to let me know.’

  Julie pressed her lips together. It was obvious from Lucy’s attitude that Robert had not told her about the child’s parentage. But how long would it be before he did?

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said now. ‘But I shouldn’t have wanted to worry you unnecessarily.’

  ‘Unnecessarily?’ Lucy drew her shoulders back. ‘Julie, I’m her grandmother! I have a right to know when my granddaughter is seriously injured.’

  Emma looked up from her unwrapping, her eyes wide at this piece of information.

  ‘You’re making it sound much worse than it actually was,’ exclaimed Julie defensively. ‘Emma was hurt, yes; she had a nasty cut on her forehead and multiple bruises, but that’s all—’

  ‘All? All?’ Lucy was scornful. ‘My dear Julie, blood transfusions are not given lightly, you know.’

  Julie took a deep breath. So Robert had told his mother about the transfusion.

  ‘What a good job there was sufficient blood on hand here to deal with it,’ Lucy went on. ‘Can you imagine what might have happened had they not had a supply?’

  ‘What blood, Mummy?’ Emma was looking anxious now.

  ‘It’s nothing, darling.’ Julie stripped the remainder of the paper off the parcel Lucy had brought, exposing an expensively dressed doll. ‘Oh, look at that! Isn’t it beautiful?’ She was trying to distract the child’s attention, but all the while the knowledge was buzzing around in her head that Robert had not explained that he himself had been the blood donor.

  Lucy was temporarily diverted by Emma’s obvious pleasure in the possession of the doll, but later, when Julie escorted her along the corridor to the main entrance of the hospital, she said: ‘I shall make arrangements for Emma to be transferred to the nursing home I was recommended some years ago—’

  ‘Please!’ Julie was determined. ‘I don’t want her moving from here. It – it’s handy for Thorpe Hulme, and I expect I shall be going back there tonight.’

  Lucy was impatient. ‘Then I shall speak to Robert,’ she stated. ‘It’s inconceivable that a grandchild of mine should remain here in such awful, depressing surroundings.’

  Julie shrugged. ‘As you wish. I can’t stop you.’

  ‘Can’t you?’ Lucy shook her head. ‘Robert also tells me that he has dismissed Miss Lawson.’

  ‘So I believe.’

  ‘Do you know why?’

  ‘Emma is to attend the village school.’

  ‘A state school!’ Lucy was horrified.

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Oh, but that’s going too far. What can Robert be thinking of?’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘This is your doing, of course.’

  Julie stood her ground. ‘Emma needs to mix with other children,’ she said quietly. ‘Surely you can see that.’

  Lucy’s lips twisted for a moment, and then she sighed. ‘Oh, Julie,’ she said, and there was a strange note of bitterness in her voice, ‘I can see so much.’ She took out her handkerchief and blew her nose hard. Then she looked again at her daughter-in-law, and now there was an unexpected look of pleading in her eyes. ‘Julie, you won’t do anything to hurt Robert again, will you?’

  Julie was astounded. ‘I? Hurt Robert?’ she echoed.

  Lucy shook her head as though to shake away her moment of appeal. ‘I’m a foolish old woman,’ she said shortly. ‘I must go. Halbird is waiting for me. He drove me down. Good-bye, Julie.’

  ‘Good-bye.’ Julie’s expression was troubled as the fur-coated figure of her mother-in-law disappeared into the early evening darkness. Then she turned and went back to Emma.

  Later that evening, Julie took a taxi home. The buses to Thorpe Hulme were few and far between, and besides, she was in no mood for the noise and bustle of public transport.

  Mrs. Hudson welcomed her home warmly, helping her off with her coat and ushering her into the
comfortable lounge. Outside it was damp and bitterly cold, but inside all was warmth and light. And yet for all that Julie felt utterly depressed.

  ‘Have you eaten?’ asked Mrs. Hudson, hovering just inside the lounge door.

  Julie shook her head. ‘No, but I’m not hungry—’

  Then she broke off abruptly, her attention caught by an enormous vase of white roses which was standing on the table at the far side of the room. ‘Where have they come from?’

  Mrs. Hudson smoothed her apron. ‘They arrived this afternoon, Mrs. Pemberton. Beautiful, aren’t they?’

  Julie frowned. ‘But who are they from?’

  Mrs. Hudson shrugged. ‘There was no card, Mrs. Pemberton. I thought perhaps you’d know.’

  Julie shook her head. ‘No. No, I don’t,’ she said, bewilderedly. ‘Have – have you heard from – from Mr. Robert today?’

  ‘No, ma’am. Have you?’

  ‘No. He may have rung the hospital, of course. I don’t know.’

  ‘Do you think he may have sent the roses, Mrs. Pemberton?’

  Julie shook her head quickly. ‘No – no, of course not. I – I just wondered if you’d heard from him.’

  ‘I see.’ Mrs. Hudson’s expression portrayed her own feelings. ‘And how’s the little one?’

  ‘Sleeping.’ Julie sighed. ‘I shall go back in the morning.’

  ‘You look tired, ma’am. Why don’t you go to bed? I could bring you up a nice warm drink of milk.’

  Julie made a negative gesture. ‘Not – not yet,’ she answered, managing a faint smile. ‘Er – where – where did Miss Lawson go?’

  ‘Back to London I should say, madam. Although she may have gone to see Miss Hillingdon first.’

  ‘Oh, yes, Pamela.’ Julie nodded and subsided on to the couch.

  ‘Can I get you anything?’ Mrs. Hudson looked disapproving. ‘You’re going to make yourself ill, too, if you go on like this.’

  Julie rested her head against the soft upholstery of the couch. ‘I’m all right. Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.’

  Suddenly on the still night air there was the sound of a car accelerating up the drive and the harsh grinding of brakes as it halted before the house. Julie was on her feet in a moment, a hasty hand smoothing the tangled disorder of her hair.