Resisting the Hero

by Cindi Madsen

  Grandma smiled up at her. “Morning, honey.”

  Faith leaned down and hugged her. “Morning. Need anything?”

  She shook her head and turned her attention back to the TV. Faith took a quick shower, grabbed a mug of coffee, and stepped outside, where Mom was working in the garden. Mom sat back and swiped her arm across her forehead. Mud covered her gloves and the knees of her clothes, but she looked happy there in the dirt.

  “Can you bring me that watering can?” Mom asked.

  Faith set down her mug on the patio table and grabbed the plastic watering can. She knelt down in the dirt and tugged at the weeds, figuring she might as well help.

  “Are you ever going to tell me why you really showed up?” Mom asked, and Faith paused mid-pull. When Faith was a little girl, Mom used to have a sixth sense that she was sad or having a hard time. But after Dad died, it seemed like she didn’t notice anything. Staring at her now, Faith saw more of the mother who’d raised her than she had in years.

  That was all it took for the whole story to burst out of her. She started at when she was eighteen, how she’d needed to get away from Cornelius as soon as she could—something Mom could relate to—to how she’d run when her ex had cheated on her, up to how she’d realized she was falling for Connor, got scared, and drove to Virginia to escape.

  Mom sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. “I was hoping you’d figured out how to deal with the past better than I did.”

  Faith shook her head. “I took classes and read through studies and…I still haven’t figured it out. I mean, I think I made peace with it, though I’ll never stop missing Daddy. But to knowingly go into a relationship with a man who faces the same dangers? To live my life the way you had to? How did you do it?”

  Mom set down her spade and pressed her lips together. “I loved your father since I was sixteen years old. It’s true that I didn’t realize what I was getting into, being the wife of a cop. But if I could go back and change the past, I’d still marry him.” Her voice quivered and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Even though part of me died with him.”

  Faith reached out and took Mom’s hand.

  “I’ve found joy again, though.” She gestured around the garden. “My plants, helping my parents. You, Kaleb, Anna, and little Ella. You guys make me happy. All of it keeps me going.”

  “But you still haven’t been back to Cornelius since you left.”

  Mom gave her a sad smile. “I have been rather good at avoiding going back, making your brother drag his family out here instead of traveling to North Carolina. I’ve been talking with a counselor again, and I’m planning on going when Anna has that baby. It’s time. It’s beyond time.”

  “I’ll help you,” Faith said. Of course that meant she’d have to go back, too. She heard Connor’s voice again, the way she had for the past several days. I need you. Every time, the words dug deeper into her heart until it felt like it was constantly bleeding. She put her hand on her chest, pushing against the pain. She’d never felt this badly about a breakup, not even with guys she’d been with for months.

  This is ridiculous. I barely know him.

  But immediately she knew that wasn’t true. She thought of how he’d taken her to meet his family and then let her in on a past she could tell he didn’t share with anyone. Then she was picturing him as a kid, afraid of his dad but calling the police to keep his mom safe. He’d helped her face her fears and let her in. And she’d left him.

  “I screwed everything up, Mom. I thought I could run away from Connor before I fell too hard—that it’d be better for us both in the end. But it’s too late. I want him in my life. I need him in my life.” Everything inside her felt like it was coming apart. “I’m in love with him.”

  In love. With a hero. The one thing she’d sworn to never let herself do. “And I just left him. And Kaleb and Anna, after everything they’ve done for me.” Faith stood and brushed the dirt from her knees. “I can’t keep running. I need to be stronger than this.”

  Mom stood, too. “Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not easy. But you’ve got a good heart. And you are strong.” She hugged Faith tightly, as if she wanted to squeeze years of missed-out hugs all into this one.

  When they headed back into the house, The Price is Right was no longer blaring, a breaking news alert onscreen instead.

  The bank in Mooresville flashed on the screen, and the reporter was saying something about a hostage situation. Faith dropped her mug, the last of her coffee spilling on the pale wooden floor.

  “They’ll call in Kaleb and Connor,” she said, though it didn’t seem like it’d come from her lips. The world spun, and she was afraid to move. Blink. Breathe. Darkness pressed in on her and her lungs stopped working.

  Mom put her hand on Faith’s shoulder.

  Faith didn’t want to worry her, but she knew it was true. Their SWAT unit was the closest to the bank. If anything happened, and she didn’t get the chance to tell Connor how she felt, she’d never forgive herself.

  “I’ve gotta go.”

  …

  “We just got the call,” Connor said, lowering the phone and looking at Kaleb. He’d done the SWAT training, wanting to be prepared, and even considered transferring to Charlotte so he’d be able to use his skills to help more people. But part of him thought it’d never actually happen.

  “The call? You mean…?”

  “Three shooters went into the bank up in Mooresville. Apparently they’re holding hostages. Grab your gear; we’ve gotta go.”

  Adrenaline pumped through Connor’s veins as they rushed out of the station. He was already mentally preparing himself, going over everything he’d learned in his head. At the door to the car, he hesitated and glanced at Kaleb. “You’ve got your family to think about. If you want to sit this one—”

  “Don’t even finish that. We’re going to go take out the bad guys. End of story.”

  “Damn straight.” Connor got into the car, flipped on the lights, and sped toward Mooresville, where they’d gather the team and come up with a plan.

  The drive flew by and then they were covered in SWAT gear, grabbing rifles, and listening as the plan was detailed and they were all assigned tasks for if the negotiations fell through. Waiting took forever, each second an eternity while covered in gear, ready to spring into action if necessary. The situation escalated as negotiations went sour, and they were concerned human lives were at risk if they didn’t act. The three shooters were in one area, away from the hostages, and they weren’t sure they’d get another chance. So the captain gave the go signal.

  Connor held the butt of his rifle tight to his shoulder, swinging as he scanned the area. Even though it was their first mission, everyone was moving smoothly, as if they’d done it a dozen times before.

  The call to fire went through the earpieces. Shots rang out. The first shooter went down. Then the second.

  Gunfire erupted behind them. Apparently the third guy had circled around. Connor turned. Through the dim lights he spotted the third guy, and the barrel of his gun was aimed at Kaleb. Time grinded to a halt, yet spun too fast. Faith’s image flashed before his eyes. He thought of Anna and Ella.

  Then he dove onto his partner.

  The bullet hit his back, a thousand fists to his spine all at once. He rolled, pulled his pistol, and shot the guy, three in the chest. Eerie, ringing silence followed.

  Each breath hurt and no matter how many Connor took, he couldn’t get any oxygen. Cold sweat pricked his forehead. He tried to push up, but the floor came at him instead. He could hear Kaleb yelling but couldn’t make out the words. As he let his eyes drift closed, he thought that at least Faith wouldn’t have to go through losing another family member.

  …

  None of the damn radio stations were giving Faith any information on the hostage situation. Daddy had often lectured about speeding, and she’d always remained in the limits at all times. But as she whizzed toward Mooresville, she pushed her vehicle to the limit, dr
iving as fast as she dared.

  She wanted to call Mom, but knew it’d only make her anxiety go crazy, and same with Anna. It was too risky, especially with her pregnancy. So she kept driving, fighting off panic attacks of her own. She couldn’t stop thinking of the day two officers had shown up at her home. Mom fell to her knees, screaming no over and over again. Kaleb went to pick her up and see what had happened. Then he’d come over, took both of Faith’s hands in his, and told her Daddy was gone.

  It had seemed so unreal—Daddy could take on anything. She kept thinking he’d walk in through the front door and it’ll all be a bad dream. But with every hour, reality sank in. Reality came faster now than it had then, a slap in the face, screaming in her ears.

  Tears burned her eyes and a giant lump formed in her throat. She wanted to pull over and cry—wanted to curl into a ball and never have to face reality again. But she had to get to Connor and her brother. Summoning all the strength she had, she gripped the wheel tighter and turned onto the road that would take her into Mooresville.

  Traffic grew thicker and thicker as she entered the town, the vehicles around her slowing to a crawl. Brake lights permanently glowed in front of her, her nerves stretched tighter and tighter, and her morbid imagination got worse and worse. If they’d blocked off the roads, that meant it was as dangerous as she’d feared.

  Faith swallowed and told herself to remain calm. It didn’t really work, what with the fact her rapid pulse was thundering through her head and her stomach wouldn’t stop churning. Finally, the outline of the bank and the lights of at least a half dozen cop cars came into view. Only that made traffic even worse.

  “Come on, come on.” Didn’t people know that two of the people she loved most in the world were up there? That they might need her?

  Unless I’m too late. Faith shook her head. No thinking like that. After five minutes of being gridlocked, she abandoned her car. Other drivers yelled and honked, but she didn’t care. She sprinted toward the police line, focused on the red and blue lights.

  An officer she didn’t recognize stepped in front of her when she reached the blockade. “Ma’am! You have to stay back!”

  “I’m looking for Kaleb Fitzpatrick and Connor Maguire. They’re on the SWAT team, and I need to know if they’re okay.”

  “Sorry, ma’am, I don’t have that information. You’ll have to stay back.”

  She waited until he’d turned to someone else, ducked under the barrier, and ran toward the bank. Two arms wrapped around her and jerked her back—the same officer. She turned and started crying and yelling and begging, but he just kept repeating his earlier instructions.

  She gripped the guy’s shirt. “I know you don’t know me, but please, please see if you can find out about Officers Fitzpatrick and Maguire. Please!”

  Another officer approached, and she recognized the Cornelius Sherriff Department Logo on his shirt. His nametag said he was Officer Johnson. “Did you say Fitzpatrick and Maguire?” he asked.

  Her heart practically leapt out of her chest. “Yes! Do you know how they are?”

  Officer Johnson glanced toward the entrance of the bank, where there were more cops, cop cars, and a giant SWAT vehicle. His eyes came back to her. “You’re Kaleb’s little sister, right?”

  She nodded frantically.

  “And Maguire’s girl.”

  Pain twisted her heart—she hoped she was still his girl. “Yes, that’s me. Please, I need to know what’s going on.”

  “I’ve got it from here,” he said, pulling her to the side so Officer Anal could go work the barrier again. “The team charged in and took out the first two shooters, but the third one got a shot off.”

  Faith grabbed onto Officer Johnson’s arm to keep from falling to the ground. Fear had her in a vise grip and it was squeezing tighter and tighter, making it hard to breathe, move, speak.

  “The shot was aimed at Fitzpatrick,” Officer Johnson continued, “but he’s okay. Maguire… He pushed Fitzpatrick out of the way and took the hit. But he still managed to take out the shooter.”

  A fresh wave of tears burned Faith’s eyes. It was too much like Daddy, and she was terrified to ask, but she had to know. She licked her dry lips. “Is he…?”

  “All I know is that they took him to Lake Norman Regional.”

  She tightened her grip on Officer Johnson’s arm. “My vehicle’s stuck back on the road with all the traffic, and I need to get to the hospital now.” He looked like he was going to say he couldn’t take her, so she locked eyes with him and said, “Please. I never even told him I loved him, and if something happens to him… Just please.”

  Officer Johnson sighed, then pulled her toward a squad car.

  …

  Connor kept insisting he was fine, pushing away all the nurses with their blood pressure cuffs and lights to look into and pulse checks. The bulletproof vest was a level three, able to stop handguns and high-powered rifles—he had proof it worked, though it definitely hadn’t felt good when the bullet hit him. Hurt like a bitch, actually. But having people check his vitals every two seconds didn’t make any of his injuries feel any better. Finally they’d left him alone for two seconds. As soon as he saw Faith enter the room, though, he decided he’d hit his head harder than he thought. Now he was hallucinating. As far as hallucinations went, at least this one was nice to look at.

  Her bottom lip quivered and then she burst into tears. “You’re alive. They told me you were, but I…” She put both hands over her heart.

  He blinked, still processing her sudden appearance in his room.

  “What the hell were you thinking, jumping in front of a bullet like that?”

  That was the moment he knew she wasn’t a hallucination. Only Faith would yell at him while he was in a hospital bed, his back and side aching so badly it hurt to breathe.

  He’d thought he’d be mad the next time he saw her—had a whole angry speech planned and everything. But as she wiped at the tears running down her cheeks, everything inside him turned to mush. All he wanted was her closer.

  Daggers of white-hot pain shot through his spine as he reached out for her. He jerked back his arm and tried to cover his wince. “Come ’ere.”

  She lunged, throwing her arms around him and burying her head in his neck, her tears wet against his skin. He wrapped his right arm—the one that didn’t cause as much pain—around her. Physically, it still ached to hold her, but inside, the heaviness he’d carried around since she’d left evaporated. Pleasure and pain. The perfect description for this girl.

  “I suppose now wouldn’t be the best time to make a case for how safe my job is?” His attempt to lighten the mood was met with more tears, and Faith tightening her hold on him. He kissed the top of her head. “It’s nothing, baby. Just a few bruises.” He decided to leave out the fractured ribs part. “I’ll be on my feet in a couple hours.”

  She sat up and drew her eyebrows together in what was probably supposed to be a stern expression but only came across as adorable. “No, you will not. I’m coming with you to your house, and you’re going to sit back while I take care of you.”

  That sent all sorts of dirty images through his head. He reached up and wound a strand of her silky hair around his finger. “Are you going to wear a sexy nurse outfit?”

  “I’d smack you if you weren’t already beat up.” She shook her head and then leaned down and pressed her mouth to his. Again, and again, kiss after delicious kiss, but they were never quite long enough. “You’re not invincible, you know.” Another kiss. “Why’d you do that?” She pulled back and regarded him, obviously wanting a serious answer.

  “Your brother’s my best friend. And…” He glanced at the beeping monitor and then brought his gaze back to her. “I thought of you, and how heartbroken you’d be if anything happened to him.”

  She pressed her lips together and it looked like she might start crying again. “I’d be heartbroken if something happened to you, too, you idiot.”

  Warmth flooded his
chest. “So you’re saying you care about me a little bit?”

  She ran her hand down his cheek and brushed her fingertips across his jaw, making his heart jerk in his chest. “I’m afraid I’m kind of in love with you.” The warmth spread, filling every inch of him and making his head buzz.

  “And all I had to do was take a bullet to finally get that confession,” he said. She gently nudged him and he yanked her to him, until her chest was against his and he had better access to her lips. He took his time kissing her, soaking in every tiny moan and the taste of her mouth, wishing he wasn’t wearing this damn hospital gown. Then he peered into her big green eyes and said, “I love you, too, Blondie. Don’t ever leave me again.”

  “I won’t, I swear. I’m sorry. It’s just that I wasn’t supposed to fall for a hero. I tried so hard not to…” She ran her fingers through his hair, sending tingly zips across his scalp and then traced his lips with her thumb, as if she was memorizing them. “But I failed. Like epically failed. I can’t help but worry about you and your job, but I decided that it’s easier to be with you and worry than not be with you at all.”

  He pressed his hand to the small of her back and wrapped his fingers around her side. “You don’t have to worry, babe.” He raised an eyebrow and shot her a smile. “As you can see, I’m clearly a badass.”

  She curled her hand around the back of his neck and stuck her forehead against his. “But you’re my badass.”

  “Damn straight.” He kissed her again, the sensation of her lips, her tongue twisting with his, better than any painkiller.

  Of course the nurse chose that moment to come in to get more vitals. He was slightly irritated still—his vitals were clearly working just fine—but with Faith’s hand in his, he figured he could deal with it. As long as she was with him, he could deal with whatever came at him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Faith glanced over at Connor. He looked even bigger in her car, his legs and arms and massive body barely fitting in the tiny space. A blindfold covered his eyes. “No peeking.”