Buchanan Bandits

by Marcus Emerson

  ‘Chaaaaaase,’ she sang. ‘C’mon, don’t be a baby. Just tell me what’s going on.’

  I took a second to respond. ‘I was just thinking … Isn’t life supposed to go back to normal after some kind of crazy event?’

  ‘You mean how Wyatt became the vice president?’ she asked.

  ‘Sorta,’ I said, tilting my head from side to side. ‘I mean, once the day is saved, things should chill out, shouldn’t they? We’ve saved the day quite a few times, and it doesn’t ever seem to go back to the way things were. When Wyatt became the hall monitor captain, he stayed the hall monitor captain! And now he’s still the vice president! Shouldn’t he just go back to being a bully with no power?’

  ‘Um, yeah,’ Zoe said, raising an eyebrow. ‘That’s because this is real life and not a television show. The universe doesn’t reset at the end of the day. You’ve watched too much TV. Things change – life changes – and you have to adapt.’

  ‘You mean, like, the way a video game changes its difficulty setting if you’re too good?’

  Zoe stared at me for a moment. ‘No,’ she finally said. ‘Not like that.’

  I sighed, feeling like my body was sinking into itself.

  ‘I think I’d go crazy if things went back to normal at the end of every day,’ Zoe said.

  ‘Why?’ I asked, curious.

  ‘It just sounds so boring, doesn’t it? If life didn’t move forward, then nothing could ever grow.’

  ‘Ugh,’ I groaned. ‘Flowers?’

  ‘No, dork,’ Zoe said. ‘Us. I mean that we would never grow. We’d stay the same boring immature kids forever if we didn’t go through a single challenge. If we didn’t fail or make any mistakes, we wouldn’t have to overcome them and we wouldn’t grow up or get stronger.’

  The bell for the end of school rang out over our conversation. Zoe bounced up and turned back to face me. ‘You know what I mean?’

  I slipped off the stage too. ‘I think so,’ I said.

  Zoe smiled and then spun around and jogged over to Gavin. I joined the swarm of students walking toward the exit of the cafeteria.

  Maybe Zoe was right. Maybe life shouldn’t reset at the end of every episode. I wouldn’t be who I was if it weren’t for the crazy year I’ve had so far, right? Right then I decided that maybe siding with Wyatt was a good idea. And even if it wasn’t, it’d be a mistake that I’d learn from.

  Besides, it was possible that Wyatt had changed his ways. Wasn’t it?

  When I got to school, I went straight for my locker. Digging through the pile of rubbish in my locker, I found the books for my morning classes and a pen that wasn’t dried out. I slipped them into my book bag too.

  I attached my name tag from the day before to one of my shoelaces. My plan was to find Wyatt to continue the conversation we had backstage yesterday. I felt a little uneasy about it, but I kept reminding myself that people could change.

  As I zipped up my bag, I overheard some kids behind me talking.

  ‘Did you hear that Jesse’s gum got stolen?’

  ‘No way! So did Matt and Rachel’s! Right from their backpacks, which is weird because Rachel said she keeps her lunch money in the same pocket as her gum, but the money wasn’t even touched!’

  ‘I know, right? A friend of mine keeps his gum in a small pouch along with the rest of his lollies, but the thief only took the gum!’

  There were conversations like that in every hallway. There was something crummy going on, that was for sure. It sounds like almost everyone in the school is a victim – it’s a spree.

  The Buchanan bandit must be pretty smart to only be taking gum. They probably know kids won’t say anything because it’s something they shouldn’t even have.

  But even as I walked to homeroom, I noticed that a bunch of kids were chewing on gum. At first I thought those students were the bandits until I realised the ones who were chomping were completely random kids, spread out down the hallway. None of them were part of the same groups, which could only mean they weren’t victims … yet.

  Just then, I felt someone nudge my back. My stomach dropped because I thought it was going to be someone I didn’t want to see. Thankfully, I was wrong.

  ‘Sorry, man,’ said another sixth grader. I recognised him, but I had never spoken to him before. He skulked back, keeping his hands cupped close to his chest.

  ‘No problemo,’ I said with a tight smile. In his hands was a pink eraser – actually two erasers. They were like the one that nailed my noggin the day before and they were so bright that they were impossible to miss. ‘Cool erasers.’

  The boy shot me a dirty look. ‘Keep your grubby paws off them! They’re mine!’ he growled.

  I was shocked. ‘They’re just erasers.’

  ‘I said they’re mine!’ the boy shouted, licking the sides of both erasers. When he was done, he stared at me with raised eyebrows like he had just won an argument we never had.

  ‘Alright, man,’ I said, breaking eye contact. ‘Whatever.’

  ‘That’s right,’ he said as I walked away. ‘They’re mine.’

  I didn’t look back, but I could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of my head. ‘Weirdo,’ I whispered.

  The bell rang just as I set foot in homeroom. I even dove into my seat before it stopped ringing. Ninja skills.

  Zoe was in front of me and Brayden was at his usual spot on my left. His head was buried in his arms on the desk, the universal signal to leave someone alone because they were trying to catch a nap. It might be the universal signal for crying too. I don’t know.

  Mrs Robinson, our homeroom teacher, was playing with a brown paper bag on her desk while the rest of the students waited patiently. Finally, she patted a stack of papers together, leaned back, and started the morning announcements.

  ‘Good morning, students,’ Mrs Robinson said loudly. ‘Today is day two of careers week, and assuming everything goes as it should, your test results should be in and you ought to get paired with a mentor from your chosen field.’

  ‘Not chosen by us,’ I whispered sarcastically, leaning forward so Zoe could hear me.

  She shrugged and kept her eyes on the front of the room.

  Mrs Robinson continued. ‘Like yesterday, classes will be as usual until after lunch, and then all sixth-grade students will meet in the cafeteria.’ She paused, studying her sheet of notes, looking as though she was trying to make sense of something. ‘I guess the mentors will already be at your table? It’s not clear from this.’

  Nobody seemed to mind.

  Standing, Mrs Robinson picked up the brown paper bag. By the way she was gripping the bag, it obviously had something heavy inside.

  ‘As an added bonus,’ Mrs Robinson said, ‘the school is giving every sixth grader an eraser.’

  The room fell silent – the kind of silence that creeps you out in a movie theatre just before the monster jumps out. Everyone looked at each other, confused. But all of a sudden, kids exploded with cheers and shouts of joy.

  Brayden jerked awake. He grabbed the sides of his desk and looked panicked. I laughed.

  Mrs Robinson handed the kid in the first seat a stack of erasers. ‘Take one and pass the rest on,’ she said.

  ‘What just happened?’ Brayden asked, staring into space.

  ‘A werewolf was just spotted north of here,’ Zoe said with a straight face. ‘A team of special forces has been dispatched and are hoping to capture the beast alive.’

  Brayden blinked. ‘Nuh-uh,’ he said.

  Zoe and I laughed.

  ‘Seriously,’ Brayden said. ‘Nuh-uh, right?’

  ‘What do you think?’ Zoe asked.

  Brayden fell silent.

  ‘Oh my god,’ Zoe said, shaking her head and smiling. ‘No, they didn’t find a werewolf, alright? I was joking.’

  Brayden pressed his lips together as he rubbed his forehead. ‘Don’t even joke about that,’ he said. ‘So why’d everyone freak out just now?’

  Zoe turned in her chair. ‘Ev
eryone’s getting an eraser.’

  ‘No,’ Brayden said. ‘I mean, why did everyone shout like that?’

  Zoe raised her eyebrows at him. ‘Because everyone’s getting an eraser.’

  ‘Oh,’ Brayden replied. ‘Cool … I guess.’

  ‘Yeah, what’s the deal with those things?’ I asked. ‘I saw a kid before with a couple of them. He kinda freaked when I mentioned them. And then he … licked ’em.’

  ‘Sick.’ Zoe smirked as she took two erasers from the student in front of her. She turned back and joked, ‘They’re what’s hot in the streets. Haven’t you heard? You ain’t cool unless you got one of these.’

  ‘But they’re just erasers,’ I said, taking one from Zoe’s hand. ‘Who cares?’

  Brayden smiled as he studied his eraser. ‘You collect comics, right?’

  ‘Right,’ I replied.

  ‘Well, think of these erasers like that,’ Brayden said. ‘Remember a few years ago when everyone was collecting those rubber-band bracelets shaped like random things?’

  I smiled, tilting my head slowly like I was remembering a fond memory. ‘Yeaaaaaah. Those dinosaur ones were bananas.’

  Zoe laughed. ‘Dork.’

  ‘Still though,’ I said, staring at the pink block in my hand, ‘I just don’t see the appeal in these things.’

  Before Brayden or Zoe could reply, the bell rang. Everyone in class pulled their book bags over their shoulders and poured out of the room.

  I always took the east hallway to gym class. The gymnasium was in that direction, but Faith also has a class over there. Talking to her was always a good way to kill time before class.

  When I found her, Gavin was standing with her.

  ‘Sup, noob?’ Faith said, leaning against the lockers outside her classroom.

  ‘The sky,’ I said, regretting it immediately. My brain screamed, Why do you keep trying to make that funny? It’s not funny! It’s never been funny, and it never will be funny! As punishment, here’s some forehead sweat.

  And yeah, my forehead started to sweat.

  Faith laughed anyway.

  ‘Nice,’ Gavin said.

  Changing the subject, I pointed at Gavin. ‘Actually I was hoping to see you. I still think we should try and figure out who’s been stealing the gum.’

  Gavin was quick to respond. ‘Nuh-uh, no sir. I told ya yesterday, I can’t be a part of all that this time. Zoe made a pretty good point in saying we shouldn’t get involved. Remember what happened last time? We found a secret ninja hideout fulla red ninjas.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Faith asked, intrigued. ‘You did?’

  I shut my eyes and sighed. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘This just seems like more trouble than it’s worth,’ Gavin said. ‘You know what sounds good to me? Having a normal school day. The kind of day where ya get to school hoping to catch some rest and relaxation, zoning in and out until the last bell. That sounds like an excellent day.’

  I was disappointed to hear Gavin say that. Out of all my friends, I thought for sure he’d be the one who would want to seek justice.

  ‘But something is going on!’ I said. ‘Isn’t it weird that a ton of gum is being stolen, and only gum?’

  Gavin paused. ‘Only gum, huh?’

  Gavin was interested – I could tell by the twinkle in his eye.

  Shaking his head, Gavin glanced at his wristwatch. ‘No, I can’t. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.’

  ‘Bummer,’ Faith said as Gavin walked away.

  ‘I know, right?’ I said.

  Faith fell silent for a second, and then she said softly, ‘My gum was stolen this morning too.’

  My heart sunk. ‘No way! Why didn’t you say anything?’

  ‘I’m saying something now,’ Faith replied. ‘It was in my pocket and everything.’

  ‘They managed to get it from your pocket?’

  Faith nodded. ‘During the break between homeroom and first period. I had it when I left homeroom, and when I got to first period, it was gone.’

  ‘Did anything happen to you during the break? Anyone bump into you?’

  Faith twisted her lips to one side of her face. ‘Nope, nothing. Nobody bumped into me. Nobody even talked to me.’

  This was serious. This wasn’t just a bandit, it was a skilled bandit… maybe even a ninja bandit. It was already a big deal, but now that the bandit had stolen from a friend, it was personal.

  ‘Maybe he’s right though,’ Faith said, pointing in the direction that Gavin had walked. ‘Maybe this case isn’t worth investigating. I’m not even mad. It was a dollar pack of gum.’

  ‘It might be just a cheap pack of gum,’ I said, ‘but that’s not the point. The point is that someone thinks it’s okay to steal other people’s stuff. Something has to be done. All it takes for bad guys to win is for the good guys to do nothing, and I don’t want to be the guy that just stood by and did nothing.’

  ‘You know what else is considered ‘doing something’?’ Faith asked.

  I shook my head, but I knew what she was going to say.

  ‘Telling the principal,’ she said.

  ‘But he won’t do anything,’ I said defensively. ‘None of the teachers will because nobody’s supposed to have gum anyway.’

  Faith shrugged but didn’t say anything else.

  The bell rang loudly. Faith smiled and gave me a quick hug, telling me not to do anything stupid. I promised her I’d try my best.

  I was already late for gym, but everyone showed up late anyway. Coach Cooper never really cared.

  This Buchanan bandit situation was starting to look more like an epic disaster than petty theft. It might seem like a silly thing to worry about because, like Faith said, it’s just a pack of gum, and while just a pack of gum might be a lame-sounding crime, it gets a lot worse when it becomes a boatload of gum.

  I wonder what a boatload of gum would even look like.

  The locker room was pretty empty by the time I made it there. Coach Cooper was sitting at the computer in his office, playing that card game everyone plays. I can never remember what it’s called, but when you beat it, the cards bounce all over the screen. Thrilling, right?

  I walked down the aisle to my locker. I was deep in thought, holding my book bag straps tight around my shoulders.

  During the first week of school, Wyatt was in the same gym class as I was. When he came back after his suspension, they put him in another class. How strange that I was actually wishing we were in the same class again. It would make finding him much easier.

  I craned my neck to the side, cracking it as my book bag hit the floor. The thump echoed off the green lockers in the empty room.

  Coach Cooper had closed his computer game, and hadn’t noticed that I was still in the room. He always stayed until the last kid left, probably to make sure nobody got into anything they shouldn’t. Oh well. At least it was quiet.

  I spun the dial on my locker and entered my combination. Gripping the metal latch, I was about to pull up until something caught my eye. I froze.

  Someone had taped a note to the top of my locker.

  It wasn’t the first time someone left me a note, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either.

  I glanced over my shoulder making sure I actually was alone. I snatched the slip of paper off the locker and unfolded it.

  Keep your nose outta our business or else.

  I chuckled loudly, in case the person who left the note was still in the room. I didn’t want to show any sign that I was afraid or intimidated. I even spoke out loud. ‘Pssssh! Or else what?’

  The answer came when I opened the metal door of my gym locker. My jaw dropped as I stared at the wall of stolen gum packages that had been crammed so tightly into the small space that they didn’t even fall out. They were like tiny bricks that stunk of spearmint.

  ‘So that’s what a boatload of gum looks like,’ I whispered.

  I slammed the door shut. The sound of metal against metal clanged across the locker room. Lucki
ly there wasn’t anyone in there.

  ‘What’s your problem?’ a voice said from behind me.

  At least I thought there wasn’t anyone in there.

  I set my hand on the cold metal surface of my locker. ‘Heh, nothing,’ I said in an embarrassingly high pitched voice. ‘Sorry ’bout that. Sometimes I don’t know my own strength!’

  The boy glared at me. Finally, he rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever,’ he said before leaving the locker room.

  My heart was pounding inside my chest, and for some reason I couldn’t catch my breath. There I was, alone in the boys’ locker room, with a locker full of stolen gum. I wish I could say it was a situation that was new to me, but it’s really not.

  Things had escalated way too quickly. First it was a pack of stolen gum, then it was many packs of stolen gum, and now someone’s zeroed in on me specifically.

  Why do these things always happen to me?

  I sat, defeated, on the bench in the middle of the aisle. I felt something underneath me. When I slid over, I saw a red wristband. The same red wristband that Wyatt’s red ninjas always wore.

  I picked it up, thinking that maybe one of the red ninjas was behind the stolen gum, but then realised it was pretty unlikely. If a red ninja had planted the gum in my locker, then there was no way they’d be foolish enough to forget their wristband at the scene of the crime.

  Another possibility was that whoever was trying to frame me was also trying to frame the red ninja clan. It was like they thought, Oh, I’ll just leave this red wristband here. That way Chase will believe the red ninjas did it!

  Too bad for them, I’m not as dumb as I am…

  I mean, as dumb as I think I am …

  No wait, as dumb as they think I am.

  Never mind.

  That was another reason for me to seek Wyatt’s help, but I didn’t want to wait until after lunch to find him. I needed to get hold of that kid asap, and I’m pretty sure I knew where to find him.