Buchanan Bandits

by Marcus Emerson

  Coach Cooper excused me from class without flinching. And I didn’t even try to hide the truth! I said there was a situation that needed to be dealt with concerning some stolen property, and that I wanted to find Wyatt to talk about it. The coach waved his hand and wished me luck.

  Weird, right?

  It took me a few minutes to get backstage in the cafeteria. The first time I stumbled upon the red ninjas hideout was when I was chasing after the missing penguin last week. The bird had escaped through a secret passage in the hall that led to an abandoned greenhouse where the red ninjas were training.

  If you would’ve told me last week that I’d willingly walk back into their hideout, I would’ve laughed until tears streamed down my cheeks.

  The only thought going through my head was, What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?

  Finally, I made it to the opening of the greenhouse. I could hear thumps and hollers as they trained together. It sounded a lot like I was standing outside a dance club. Leaning against the wall, I reconsidered what it was I was doing. Listening to the sound of the red ninjas training didn’t help me feel better.

  On the floor next to the opening were red ninja robes, folded nicely and stacked on top each other. I had to hand it to them – they were an organised, tidy bunch of kids. I don’t even fold my clothes at home!

  I stretched my arms out behind my back, whispering to myself. ‘Am I really gonna do this? Am I really gonna put on a red ninja outfit?’

  Staring at the folded robes on the floor, I sighed. ‘Yep, I sure am.’

  I quickly slipped into the red robes. Wyatt had designed them to go right over street clothes. It was pretty smart actually, and I was a little jealous that I hadn’t thought of it first. I took the red bracelet out of my pocket and held it tightly in my hand.

  Without a second thought, I forced myself to enter the greenhouse.

  The smell of dead plants lingered in the air, along with the scent of kids getting their sweat on by training. It was more musty than stinky.

  As I passed other ninjas, they glanced at me, nodding in greeting. I punched my open palm and nodded back at them.

  I could see Wyatt sitting in his leather chair at the front of the greenhouse. He wasn’t wearing any of his ninja gear, which wasn’t too surprising. As the VP, he probably didn’t want to risk getting caught wearing it. With an intense stare, he studied his ninjas as they threw punches and kicks into the air.

  Weaving through the crowd of red ninjas, I made my way to the front of the room, hoping nobody would recognise me since I was fully decked out in red ninja—

  ‘Hey!’ shouted one of the bigger red ninjas. He stepped in front of me, blocking my path to Wyatt.

  ‘Not good,’ I whispered.

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ the ninja growled with a more feminine voice than I had originally heard. It was a girl under the mask. She was holding her fist out at me.

  I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I didn’t say anything. By this time, everyone in the room was staring at me, including Wyatt.

  ‘I said, what do you think you’re doing?’ she repeated.

  A billion different emotions shot through my body. If I ran, I might be able to make it out of the room before they started chasing after me.

  It was a personal decision I made long ago to never throw a punch, but I wasn’t sure any of the ninjas surrounding me made the same decision. I was as good as dead.

  The tall ninja pointed at the bracelet that was in my death grip. ‘You wear that thing with pride. It goes on your wrist, dummy!’ she joked, laughing heartily.

  The other ninjas in the greenhouse laughed with her.

  The room started spinning as I gasped for air. Apparently my brain put my lungs on pause – it does dumb things like that sometimes. I tried laughing too, covering up the fact that I was actually catching my breath, as I pulled the bracelet over my wrist. I only hoped they couldn’t see how badly my hands were shaking.

  ‘I’m just messin’ witchya,’ the girl said before walking off.

  I swallowed hard, looking back at Wyatt, still in his leather chair. Casually, I walked to the front of the room and stood by his side.

  Wyatt didn’t move a muscle. His head was resting in one hand as he watched the red ninjas train in the room. He almost looked bored.

  Struggling with what to say, I leaned closer to him, but he spoke before I did.

  ‘Great day for training,’ the leader of the red ninja clan said. ‘Isn’t that right, Chase?’

  My jaw tightened, and I felt like I couldn’t move again. At last, I asked, ‘How’d you know?’

  Wyatt spun his chair around to face me. ‘You don’t move the way my red ninjas move. You’ve got a different way about you.’

  I wasn’t sure whether to be proud of that fact or not.

  Wyatt pointed at my shoes. ‘Plus you’re wearing a piece of paper with your name on it.’

  I looked down at the name tag I had clipped to my shoe that morning. ‘Stupid,’ I whispered, scolding myself.

  ‘Don’t sweat it,’ Wyatt said, chuckling. ‘But you’d better get talkin’ before anyone else in here figures out who you are. I’d tell them to leave you alone, but in a group this big, they might not hear me over the sound of their own anger.’

  I took his advice, and began explaining myself right away. I told him about how the gum bandit was taking more than anyone realised, and how they’re only focused on gum instead of other things that actually have value.

  ‘And my friends have decided to sit this one out,’ I said, ‘but I didn’t want to investigate alone … so that’s why I’m here – to see if your offer still stands.’

  ‘My offer to help?’ Wyatt asked.

  I nodded. The rest of the red ninjas in the room continued training without a clue about what was happening at the front of the greenhouse.

  ‘Admit that you were wrong,’ Wyatt demanded.

  I was silent.

  He smirked the same way I’d imagine an evil overlord would right before claiming victory over the world. ‘Tell me I was right.’

  Not wanting to waste any more time, I clenched my jaw. ‘Fine. You weren’t wrong.’

  Wyatt paused, studying me with his narrow eyes. ‘Good enough!’

  ‘So that’s that then?’ I asked. ‘Just like that we’re working together?’

  Wyatt spun again in his chair, grabbing a small box from the ground. ‘Not quite,’ he said. ‘You burned me yesterday when you refused my offer first. I even went through the trouble of finding a four-leaf clover to show how serious I was.’

  ‘Okaaaaay,’ I said, suspicious. ‘So?’

  Wyatt’s face grew angry, but he kept his voice down. ‘So now you have to do something for me to prove that you’re serious.’

  ‘You want a four-leaf clover? I’ll get you a four-leaf clover,’ I said, even though it was Zoe that found the clover back at the beginning of the year.

  ‘No,’ Wyatt said, tapping the cardboard box in his lap. ‘All you have to do is take this to the principal’s office.’

  ‘Yeah?’ I asked. ‘That’s all I have to do, huh? Is that box filled with money or something?’

  That was part of my first week at Buchanan too. Taking a bag full of money to the principal’s office to frame Zoe for theft.

  Wyatt peeled open the top of the box. He held out a handful of erasers – the ones that everyone was going nuts over, but not just pink ones. ‘I promise that the box only has these dumb little things in it.’

  ‘What’s the deal with these anyway?’ I asked, suddenly aware of a nasty spearmint scent in the air. I glanced at the red ninjas in the room and wondered which one of them was Olive.

  ‘These little erasers are Sebastian’s own creation,’ Wyatt explained. ‘He created these to coincide with the careers week stuff. It’s all about sales and marketing and blah blah blah, y’know?’

  ‘So he’s the one handing these things out?’

  ‘He’s
selling them,’ Wyatt said.

  ‘How’s he allowed to do that?’ I asked.

  Wyatt sighed. ‘For every eraser sold, he donates ten cents to the school. Since they’re selling so well, the school is considering selling them through the supply shop for a buck a pop.’

  ‘A dollar?’ I said loudly. ‘He’s making ninety cents off these things? But my homeroom teacher handed out a ton of these for free this morning!’

  Wyatt laughed. ‘That’s right. The school bought all those erasers from Sebastian so they could do that. I guess Principal Davis is all for the idea of Sebastian starting a business, especially since it’s careers week. There’s probably a great lesson to be learned about money and economics, but … whatever, I don’t care.’

  I took one of the erasers and looked at it. It was bright blue and had a thin piece of card wrapped around it. Sebastian’s picture and logo were also on the paper. ‘I’ve gotta hand it to the kid – he knows how to sell a product.’

  ‘Right?’ Wyatt said as he shoved the box into my hands. ‘So get this to the principal’s office. There’s nothing shady about my request. They know the box is coming, but I’m just too lazy to take it there myself,’ he said smiling, and holding his hand out for me to shake it.

  Without hesitating, I grabbed my enemy’s hand and shook it like a businessman.

  I nodded at a few of the red ninjas on my way out. They still didn’t have a clue who I was.

  Once I was clear of the greenhouse, I took off the red ninja robes, dumping them in one of the drama club boxes backstage. With the box of erasers in my arms, I headed straight for the front office.

  When I walked into the air-conditioned front office, a young woman with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail greeted me. I’d never seen her before, so she probably wasn’t a teacher.

  ‘Can I help you?’ she asked, standing at the counter and chewing the end of her pencil.

  I set the box of erasers on the counter and flipped open the lid. ‘I’m supposed to drop these off here?’

  The woman’s smile was bright enough to light up a dark room. ‘Fantastic! We’ve been waiting all morning for these! Principal Davis will be thrilled.’

  ‘Cooooooooool,’ I said suavely. ‘So I’ll just leave them with you, and that’s it?’

  ‘That’s it,’ the woman replied sliding the box off the other side of the front counter. ‘Just tell me your name so I can let Principal Davis know who delivered them. I know he’ll want to know how helpful you were.’

  With a smile beaming across my face, I said, ‘Chase Cooper.’

  ‘Thanks, Chase,’ the woman said.

  I turned around just in time to hear the lunch bell. Before the front lobby was completely swarming with students, I managed to make it across the hall so I could stand in front of the tinted windows of the cafeteria and wait for my friends.

  ‘Over here!’ Faith shouted in front of the lunchroom doors.

  Brayden and Gavin stood behind her, waiting in the lunch line. Zoe wasn’t around, which meant that she was probably in the library with the other zombies.

  Yes, zombies.

  The smartest kids in school, aka ‘smarties’, were allowed to sit in the library during lunch so they could have an extra study period during the day. It was meant to be a reward so they could spend the time doing extra research for any classes or projects. It was the only time during the day when surfing the internet on your phone was allowed. I guess the school hoped the smarties would appreciate the responsibility and use their time wisely.

  In reality, pretty much all the smarties spent the entire time staring at their phones, texting friends and sharing dumb videos of cute animals doing silly things. Have you ever seen kids hypnotised by a smart-phone screen? They look like zombies.

  Zoe claims she actually uses that time for research, but I know better. She’s just as zombified as the rest of them when she’s in there.

  A short while back, I found myself in the midst of the library zombies, and trust me, it’s a lot scarier than it sounds. After that fateful day, I vowed never to return to the land of the library zombies.

  I walked over to Faith, Gavin and Brayden, and we went into the lunchroom together to eat whatever terrible item was on the menu for the day.

  Right after lunch was over, I went straight for my careers week table. Dozens of mentors were already circling the room, talking with the students they had been paired with, and I couldn’t wait to see what my career results were.

  Waiting patiently in my seat, I strained my eyes to see what careers my friends had got. It almost felt like Christmas morning, but without the presents, and without it being December, and without the eggnog, pecan pie, or spiced tea. Okay, so it was nothing like Christmas morning. It didn’t matter how hard I looked for my friends though because there were too many people in the room to see anything past three metres in front of me anyway.

  I spun in my chair and opened the manila folder in front of me. My mentor was running a few minutes late, but maybe there was some information in the packet about what my career was.

  Sure enough, I found a new slip of paper that had my test results on it!

  All I had to do was skim the page and find out what kind of amazing life my future held. Video game designer? Comic book artist? Astronaut? Was it at all possible that my test paired me with a ninja?

  Oh man! What if it did? I’ve been wondering why my mentor wasn’t there yet, but…what if he was? What if it was a ninja so good at ninja-ing that he was completely invisible somewhere out in the open?

  My eyes skimmed faster down the page until I finally found what I was looking for.

  There it was – my name, Chase Cooper, with a bunch of dashes that trailed to the other side of the page, connecting with the career that I—

  Chase Cooper–––––––––––Circus Clown

  ‘Wait, what?’

  Honka honka honka honka!

  The paper fell from my hands. I watched it float past my black sneakers and across the floor, landing in front of a pair of humongous red shoes.

  ‘Hey there, kiddo!’ a man wearing a full face of make-up said. ‘We’re gonna have a honkin’ fun time!’

  His face became emotionless as he stared at me, honking his stinkin’ clown horn like his life depended on it.

  Honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka honka!

  I kid you not, every single person in the room stopped what they were doing to see the source of the most annoying sound in the world.

  ‘Stop that!’ I hissed. ‘You’re embarrassing me!’

  The clown tap danced his oversized shoes towards me, which was frightening by itself, but tap dancing apparently wasn’t enough. No, this clown also wanted to start blowing up one of those long balloons they make balloon animals out of.

  So yeah, this monster was staring into my soul while twisting a long balloon into an animal and also tap dancing straight at me, and in a roomful of spectators. The silence only made the squeaking balloons and taps that much worse.

  I’m not gonna lie. I feared for my life.

  ‘Okay, I was wrong,’ I whispered. ‘This is how I die …’

  The clown did his tap-dance finale in front of me and extended an open hand. ‘The name’s Miko! My friends call me Miko, but you can call me Miko!’

  I slouched in my seat. ‘My name’s Chase,’ I said. ‘You can call me Chase.’

  ‘Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Chase!’ Miko said gleefully, with his hand still outstretched towards me.

  I made a fist and bumped his open palm with it. He dropped his hand and took a seat next to me.

  ‘Just my luck,’ I groaned. ‘I get paired with a freak show.’

  Miko wagged his finger at me. ‘Now that’s not vewy nice,’ he said in a goofy voice.

  I shook my head, rubbing my eyes. ‘No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I was just expecting something … different.’

&nb
sp; ‘Everyone does,’ Miko said, his silly voice slightly trailing away.

  I leaned back, trying to make the best of the situation. ‘So like, this is your career then? Like, your job is to dress like a clown and stuff?’

  ‘Yep,’ Miko said, honking his horn once. Honka!

  ‘Please stop,’ I said flatly. ‘So like, why? Why be a clown? Did you drop out of university or something?’

  ‘Actually,’ Miko said, using his real voice, which was much deeper than I expected. ‘I had to go to university to do this.’

  I blinked. ‘What?’

  ‘Yep,’ Miko continued. ‘I went to theatre school and chose to be a clown. I guess I’m just one of those guys who never really grew up, y’know? I just grew older.’

  I blinked, only half listening to what the clown was saying. I was too busy imagining a real ninja hiding somewhere in the cafeteria.

  ‘Don’t you regret it?’ I asked.

  Miko stared at me for a moment. ‘As a matter of fact, no, I don’t regret it. I gotta say,’ he wagged his finger at me again, ‘you’re a bit insensitive, aren’t you?’

  I was silent, unsure what to say and a little embarrassed.

  The clown continued. ‘Hey, man. I’m just dishin’ out the same stuff you’re cookin’, am I right?’ He started honking his insanely loud horn at my face again. Honka honka honka honka!

  I stood up and started walking away, but Miko jumped up too. He tossed the balloon animal in the air and started patting it upwards with both hands. And then, as loudly as possible, he said, ‘Hey, Chase! Don’t let the balloon touch the ground! Woo hoo!’

  I didn’t know if anyone was even paying attention, but I’d never been more embarrassed in my life. ‘Just leave me alone, okay? Go back to the table.’

  Miko let the balloon drift to the ground. ‘Whatever you say, boss. I get paid to be here whether I’m mentoring or not.’ He turned and sat back down.

  I scurried across the room, feeling mortified that Miko had made such a scene. I just wanted to find my friends in the crowded cafeteria so I could relax a little with them.