The Rennillia Series: Volumes 1-5

by M. Sembera

  I nodded when the second nurse asked, “Is this your first baby?”

  I was anxious for Hert to find me, knowing his presence would help me relax. Relieved at first, when he walked into the room, I began to panic when I saw how afraid he looked. The doctor on call walked in informing me he was going to give me something to help me calm down and that the anesthesiologist would be in to give me an epidural shortly.

  The epidural helped with the pain but I was still terrified.

  Looking over at Hert, I said, “I’m really scared.”

  As he lifted my hand and kissed it, he admitted, “I am too.”

  Saying it out loud seemed to help us both. Pulling a chair right up to the bed Hert sat down stretching his arms out so when I scooted to the side it was like he was holding me.

  Kissing the side of my head, he asked, “Does it still hurt?”

  I shook my head saying, “I can still feel the contractions, but it doesn’t hurt like before.”

  The nurse came in bringing me ice chips and informing me I had visitors. Guessing Em and Jacks had made it to the hospital, I assured Hert it was okay if they quickly came in to say hello.

  From the look on their faces something was wrong when they first walked in.

  I looked at Hert asking, “What’s going on?”

  Emerson answered for him, “We are just checking to make sure you’re ok. You looked pretty rough back at the house.”

  Jackson added, “You had me scared Ren. I just knew you were going to have your baby right in front of me.”

  Apologizing to Jackson, I said, “I’m sorry about that.”

  He chirped back, “Awe it’s all good.”

  Emerson informed, “We are going to go take care of something real quick. It shouldn’t take long.”

  Hert nodded at them and they walked out.

  Resuming his previous position, Hert leaned his head to mine saying, “I love you.”

  Hert seemed more relaxed as he encouraged, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

  I was slightly confused as I asked, “Are you sure nothing’s going on?”

  Hert smiled as he replied, “Of course something’s going on. We’re having a baby.”

  I had a feeling he wasn't being completely honest with me but now was not the time to worry about it.

  Smiling back at him, I said, “I guess it’s too late to say I’m not ready and just go back home.”

  Nodding with a laugh, he agreed, “A little bit.”

  Dr. Brin came in to check on me and recommend breaking my water to speed things along because my blood pressure wasn’t going down.

  Trying to be brave, I looked at Hert stating, “Looks like this is it.”

  Kissing my hand as he let go, Hert excused himself from the room for a moment. Things moved quickly after Hert returned. First, the nurses were telling me not to push, then what seemed like seconds later Dr. Brin was ordering me to push.

  It got harder and harder to catch my breath, until finally, I could hear Sophia crying and Hert announcing, “You did it. She’s perfect.”

  At five-fifty-seven in the evening, weighing seven pounds and eight ounces and nineteen inches in length; Sophia Herterand was born.

  Sophia was beautiful and perfect. They moved me to a new room and I was sad that she couldn’t immediately come with me. The nurse assured me Sophia would be back before I knew it.

  As Hert and I anxiously waited for her, he sat down on the bed with me asking, “How are you feeling?

  Thoroughly exhausted but not wanting to miss the moment they brought her back in, I answered, “Relieved.”

  Laughing a little, he said, “Me too,” then his eyes softened when he added, “You know Renni, she looks like you,” as he softly kissed my forehead.

  Reaching up, I placed my hand against Hert’s cheek saying, “You’re going to be a great dad.”

  I wanted to say a lot more but a nurse walked in returning Sophia to us. Right behind her were Emerson and Jackson, both looking extremely proud of themselves. I scooted to a sitting position as Hert picked up Sophia showing her off to them. He handed her over to Em while Jackson said he would hold her when she didn’t look so breakable. Trying hard to stay awake long enough to ask questions, I was excited to start a life with my new little family but I couldn't shake the feeling I was missing something. As I watched the three people I loved most with my Sophia, my heart swelled and the moment was too perfect to ruin. I decided there would be time later to uncover whatever secrets they were hiding from me, as I drifted off to asleep.

  A Tangled Web book II

  The ride home from the hospital was overwhelming. Hert seemed on edge by the way he kept scowling and checking the rearview mirror. His reaction to a simple drive home caused my heart to beat faster and my hands to shake, wondering what was going on. Tension hung thick around us, until we arrived at the house.

  Hert stepped out of the car, appearing to sigh with relief. He opened my door while I unstrapped Sophia from her car seat. I lifted her out, snuggling her softly before handing her to Hert. Emerson and Jackson followed us home and were there to immediately help me out of the car and get our bags.

  I watched them walk in, taking a moment to collect my thoughts before I entered the house. Something was going on. Something the three of them clearly had no intention of sharing with me. Pushing my suspicions to the back of my mind, I decided the priority was to enjoy Sophia's homecoming and headed into the house to focus on getting her settled.

  Chapter 1

  Sunlight beamed through the windows, making the house appear brighter than usual. I curled up on the couch downstairs, keeping an eye on Sophia sleeping in her bassinette beside me. Hert gently kissed my forehead before sitting down next to me.

  “How are you feeling? Are you hungry?” he asked, taking my hand in his.

  Smiling, I shook my head at him, whispering, “I just want to sit here and stare at her. She looks so sweet all bundled up sleeping.”

  Hert smiled back, pulling me toward him.

  Wrapping his arms around me, he held me close saying, “Roberts and Jackson went to pick up dinner. You can go shower if you want. I’ll stay here and stare at her for you.”

  Laughing a little, I replied, “Thanks, but I don’t feel like moving right now. I’m kinda enjoying sitting here with my husband and our daughter.”

  Hert’s expression changed slightly as he stated, “I’m glad we’re alone, at least for a little while. Roberts will be here for two weeks and that means Jackson will be here all the time too.”

  Hert and I had spent so much of our time alone in the house that Emerson’s return felt intrusive. We would have to adjust, not only to having a new baby in the house but to having everyone else here too. It was a strange revelation. All of us grown up with separate lives. I wondered for a second how Emerson was getting on with his new life, before turning my attention back to Hert.

  Tugging slightly on the front of Hert’s shirt, I adjusted myself facing him.

  Trying to lighten his mood, I questioned, “You want me alone, do ya?”

  With a wide smile spreading across his face, Hert replied, “Yes I do!”

  His excitement made me laugh as I teased, “So I’ll see you in six weeks then.”

  Confused, he asked, “Are you going somewhere?”

  Still laughing, I explained, “I hope not. I meant for alone time.”

  Taking my face in his hands, Hert kissed me gently before saying, “I love you Renni.”

  His kiss although short, caused my heart to flutter as I assured, “I love you too.”

  Visions of Hert and I after our mandatory six weeks flickered in the back of my mind, making it difficult to pull away.

  Sophia started to cry just before voices from the kitchen confirmed Emerson and Jackson’s return.

  Hert exclaimed, “Smart girl! She knows it’s dinner time,” as he handed me her bottle.

  Cradled in my arms, I watched Sophia eat herself back to sleep. Reluc
tantly placing her back in the bassinette, I slowly rolled it into the kitchen with me. Instantly the voices lowered.

  Sitting around the table we ate in silence until Jackson asked, “So how does it feel to be parents?”

  Looking down at Sophia, I answered, “Pretty good so far.”

  Jackson continued, informing, “My parents wanted me to tell ya’ll congratulations and to let them know when visitors are allowed.”

  Nodding at him with a smile, I said, “Tell them I said thank you and that next week would be great.”

  I was full after only a few bites of lunch. I asked Hert if he would watch Sophia while I took a shower. He gave me a ‘that was a stupid question’ look as I rolled my eyes in return and then headed upstairs.

  Showering made me sleepy and after getting dressed, I hollered downstairs for Hert.

  Quickly at the bottom of the stairs, he asked, “Are you alright?”

  Nodding, I replied, “I’m really tired. Can you bring Sophia up here?”

  Hert nodded back at me and walked away. I returned to our room after stopping by Sophia’s to grab some diapers and a changing pad. Hert walked in carrying Sophia. Emerson was right behind him with her bassinette, placing it beside our bed.

  “Thanks Em,” I stated, watching him lightly pat Sophia before leaving the room.

  Hert handed Sophia over to me as he asked, “Do you want me to stay in here with you?”

  Nodding at him, I whispered ‘I love you’ to Sophia before laying her down. Climbing into bed, I noticed Hert pull his clothes out of the drawers before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind himself. Finding it absurd we were back to closing doors, I pulled the covers over myself wondering if he would sneak off after I fell asleep too. Trying to stay awake was useless, I was out before the shower came on.

  Faintly hearing Sophia, I woke to find Hert up and feeding her. The sight made me teary eyed. I was so touched at the way he carefully fed her and the look on his face as he held her. It was hard to keep quiet. Controlling myself, I let Hert and Sophia have their moment.

  Waiting for Hert to lay her down and get back in bed before saying, “You’re a good dad.”

  Hert reached out pulling me close.

  Wrapping his arms around me, Hert whispered, “I love you,” as we took a two hour nap.

  Feeling as if I had just fallen asleep, I got up and fed Sophia letting Hert sleep. When I was done and climbed back into bed, I noticed he was awake too.

  Brushing my fingers across his cheek, I offered, “I was trying not to wake you.”

  His blue eyes searched mine as he confessed, “Renni I have to tell you something.”

  My mind went blank and for the first time whatever his secret was I didn’t want to know. Slowly thoughts trickled back into my mind causing fear to course through me. Questions concerning how thin Hert’s love for me would stretch before it disappeared made me beg for ignorance.

  With tears filling my eyes, I frantically shook my head urging, “I don’t want to know.”

  Quickly sitting up, Hert insisted, “I know I promised no more secrets. I didn’t say anything before because you were having enough problems with your blood pressure, but ...”

  Almost immediately I understood.

  Too relieved that his feelings for me hadn’t changed to be mad, I asked, “Okay, so does this secret have anything to do with keeping me and Sophia safe? And since I know you were with me the whole time can I assume Jackson and Emerson took care of it? Is everything fine now?”

  Hert carefully answered, “Um, something like that.”

  Scooting closer, I said, “Well then if that’s all, come lay back down with me. I trust you.”

  Raising an eyebrow Hert slowly laid back down questioning, “Really?”

  Lightly smiling, I nudged even closer explaining, “Hert it’s not the same. I was mad before because you and Emerson were trying to decide what was best for me without consulting me. This problem sounds completely different. So it’s ok. I’m not upset.”

  Kissing my forehead, Hert laughed, “Then I have something else to apologize for. Maybe being pregnant did make you crazy. That made perfect sense to me.”

  Elbowing him, I snapped, “Oh, you are just too funny!”

  As Hert held me tight, I realized there was no longer a space between us. I had almost forgotten what it was like. Suddenly back where I had started, I wanted to pull myself closer. This time it wasn’t marriage standing in the way it was doctor’s orders. There would be no debate on the issue this time.

  Putting an end to any more conversation about safety, problems or anything I wasn't ready to hear, I whispered to Hert, “I think we should get some sleep before Sophia wakes up again.”

  Hert gave an understanding smile before loosening his arms from around me.

  Once again, we were awake.

  Watching Hert take his turn feeding her, I conceded, “I think I might just stay awake. I don’t feel like I’ve gotten any sleep,” as Hert gave me a confused look, I continued, “Why don’t you help me get her back downstairs and then you can sleep the rest of the night. In the morning when you get up, I’ll go back to bed and you can watch her. You know; I take the night shift, you take the day shift.”

  Hert must have been really tired because there was no argument from his side. Lifting the bassinette, he carried it downstairs then came back up to walk Sophia and I down. I settled on the couch with Sophia in her bassinette right beside me. He leaned down kissing me as I assured him we would be fine.

  I tried watching T.V. but there was nothing on so I decided to watch Sophia instead. The new of her was far from wearing off. It was still hard to believe she was finally here and that something so precious was mine. Sharing Sophia with someone I loved made things even better. I thought about the day we would be able to take her out to the pond. I wondered if Ms. Herterand would finally smile when she got to see Sophia for the first time. As my mind wandered I couldn’t help feeling sad. Wishing my parents could have met her. Thinking maybe if they were still alive we would finally have something to talk about. My train of thought was interrupted when I heard Hert coming down the stairs.

  Hopping up, I smiled at him.

  “You’re not tired?” he asked.

  Still smiling, I answered, “Yea, I am.”

  Leaning down, he gently kissed me and said, “Go get some sleep I want to spend some time with you later. Emerson said he would keep an eye on Sophia for us.”

  Immediately my stomach hurt. Sleeping was one thing but I didn’t want her looked after by anyone else.

  Trying to hide my disapproval, I nodded saying, “Night. I love you.”

  I glanced down at Sophia as I headed upstairs.

  After a quick shower, I got in bed. I felt lonely all by myself in the room. Trying to fall asleep, I felt unsettled at how easily Hert was willing to leave Sophia with Emerson. Things were not the same with Emerson since he confessed his feelings for me three days before my wedding. I missed Emerson's friendship, but I just didn't feel the same about him as I did before.

  Chapter 2

  It was late afternoon by the time I woke up and made my way downstairs. I immediately scooped Sophia up, snuggling her close. Hert was stretched out on the couch.

  “When did she have her last bottle?” I asked, nudging him a little.

  Looking up at me, he answered, “About ten minutes ago.”

  Walking over to the chair, I sat down across from him glancing back and forth between my two loves. Before I could question Hert about Em watching Sophia, he walked in.

  “Hey do you want me to take her to the nursery or watch her down here?” Emerson asked.

  Hert smiled at me then answered him saying, “Down here would be better, that way we don’t have to keep moving her bassinette up and down the stairs.”

  Emerson nodded at him and held out his arms toward me.

  With disbelief, I pouted, “But I just picked her up.”

  Hert stood up and
walked over to us.

  “Renni, you are going to be with her all night. I want to talk to you. I promise Roberts won’t run off with her. Okay,” he assured.

  I begrudgingly handed her over, turned around and stomped upstairs.

  By the time I made it to the room, I was furious.

  Hert walked in smiling as I shouted, “Okay what was so important you had to make me hand over my new born baby?”

  Shutting the door behind himself, he laughed, “Okay, I take it back. You’re still crazy.”

  Far from amused, I snapped, “I don’t think you’re funny!”

  Still smiling, he informed, “I wasn’t trying to be funny. Come sit down with me.”

  Forcing myself to concede, I sat on the edge of our bed glaring at him. When Hert sat down next to me I turned my head away staring at the wall.

  Scooting closer, he brushed his lips against my neck urging, “Ren-ni..Renni turn around…Ren-ni.”

  Fed up, I shouted “What!” quickly turning my head toward him.

  Instantly Hert’s lips we pressed against mine, dissolving my aggravation.

  My heart and mind were racing when his kisses traveled across my cheek to my ear as he whispered, “Don’t be mad. I love you.”

  Slightly pulling away, Hert caressed my cheek with his fingertips.

  Starting to laugh, I gave in, whispering, “I love you too.”

  Taking my hand in his, Hert slid back on the bed pulling me with him. I lay back waiting for him to continue.

  Still holding my hand, he kissed it asking, “How are you feeling?”

  Confused, I replied, “Frustrated.”

  Shaking his head at me, he explained, “No, I mean now that Sophia’s here, how are you feeling?”

  After a moment I said, “Like I have never felt before.”

  Leaning down Hert kissed me softly, confessing, “We have a small problem.”

  With a heavy sigh, I replied, “Of course we do. Why would I think things would be easy?”

  Pulling me closer, Hert wrapped his arms around me tight saying, “Listen to me before you say anything,” as I nodded, Hert continued, “I have to leave tomorrow. I will only be gone for two days. I already know what you’re going to say, so don’t. This is my job and I have to go.”