Harbour of Refuge

by Aliyah Burke

  Crap, it hurt to say that. Despite knowing it, she’d not verbalised it yet. Hearing herself speak it only solidified the truth.

  Jaydee stared at her with such frank directness she wanted to turn away. “I know we don’t know one another all that well but if you need to talk, I can listen.”

  “Thanks, but don’t you think it would be awkward?”

  “How so?”

  “Enzo is Gio’s brother. I’m Enzo’s ex.”

  “You are worried it will cause a conflict of interest because my husband is his brother. I don’t tell him everything. If you do not wish me to say anything to him, I won’t.”

  “Things just…got complicated.” The only person who she had told was Mila and after all these months, it still hurt.

  Hurts because you care.

  She didn’t need to think about that. Or all the nights she woke, fingers buried between her thighs as she screamed out his name to the dark. How much she missed being in his embrace, the feel of his stubble along her skin, the taste of his kiss. Then there was how well he kissed. She wouldn’t mind being lip-locked with him for hours on end.

  “Complicated.”

  She nodded. “That’s the best way I can describe it.”

  “Was he mean?”

  She couldn’t say that his words had been pleasant. “It was a whole slew of things. Mostly, I didn’t want to be the babysitter for Liev.”

  “Does it bother you he has a son with another woman? Or is it that Liev is what makes it difficult?”

  Although her expression never changed, Halyn felt the chill in the air. She might not feel the need to defend Enzo but there was no doubt she would defend Liev.

  “No, it’s not Liev at all. Not in that way. I love him, he’s one of the sweetest boys I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. But it does deal with him, Enzo saw how I dealt with him and put me in that position without listening to me.”

  “They do tend to hear what they want.”

  “How true.”

  “You know he’s coming back to town in a week, right?”

  Her heart thudded. “No, I hadn’t any clue. Is the race coming?”

  “No, they have some time off and he is staying here.”

  “I’m sure that’ll be nice for your family, to see him again.”

  Jaydee made a noncommittal grunt. “If you need anything, Halyn, don’t hesitate to call. If you will excuse me, I have to return home. Thank you for your time.”

  She was so proper. Trailing after her, Halyn paid and left the building. Jaydee already sat on her bike and it shocked her when the woman gave her a smile and wave before driving off.

  Enzo. Back in a week. Goodness, she wanted to hide. She was just getting to a point where thinking of him didn’t make her want to break down into tears. Seeing him—and Liev—wouldn’t be easy.

  Back at Joe and Mila’s, she let herself in the house and exchanged vehicles, having already dropped her bike off at home. After taking the time to jot them a note, she climbed in her car and drove off, the top down allowing the wind to flow over her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Crisp air met him as he disembarked from the jet. Enzo inhaled deeply, walking down the steps from the plane to the tarmac, one bag in hand. Behind him, his son followed suit, his hat pulled low over sunglassed eyes. He hid the smile. Liev had begun to come out of his shell, but was still extremely reserved and brooding.

  “Ready?” he called back to Liev. “Uncle Gio should be just inside to get us.”

  “Yes, Papà.” Liev had his black backpack over his shoulder, filled with all the items he considered important. He picked up his pace and was soon at Enzo’s side.

  After pulling open the door, he stepped inside the small airport. There was only one baggage claim, beside which he saw his brother lounging.

  “Gio!”

  “Hey, bro.” They shared a hug then Gio turned his attention to Liev. “How are you doing, Liev?”

  “Well, thank you.”

  Gio met his gaze and sent him a wink. They waited for their luggage and were soon on their way to his apartment, which he hadn’t been able to let go.

  “Dinner with us tonight,” Gio told him before he left them. “We’ll catch up then. Right now I have to get some groceries.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  Another hug and his brother left them to settle in. He gazed over at the mantel where a framed picture of him and Halyn sat. One from the time when they’d stayed up in the cabin during autumn.

  Every time he’d called his brother, he’d asked him if he’d seen or heard from Halyn. More often than not it was a negative, although sometimes he would say they’d gone to the store and had seen her there.

  Halyn.

  It didn’t matter what anyone said, what the paper reported, he’d not been with anyone since Halyn, and didn’t have any plans to. He’d done a lot of thinking while separated from her and he’d come to a conclusion.

  In his room, he unpacked swiftly before picking up his phone. Seated on the bed, he pressed a pre-set number.

  “Hello?”

  Halyn’s voice was scratchy and not at all sounding good. Hell, she sounded like death warmed over.

  “Are you okay, Halyn?”

  “No. Leave me alone.”

  Click.

  He glanced at his phone. Like that would happen. He called back.

  “Hmm?”

  “Can I bring you something?”

  “No. Let me die in peace.”

  He knew she was about to hang up on him again. “Don’t hang up on me, Halyn, or I’m going to come to your house. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’m peachy. Feel as if I’m on top of the world.”

  “Sarcasm. I get it. Let me take care of you.”

  “No. I’m sick.”

  And apparently delirious. “I know. I’m going to be up there soon.”

  She mumbled something and the phone shut off. “She’s gone.”

  Going to his door, he called out for his son. “Liev!”

  “Yes?”

  “Shove some things in a bag, we’re going to go see Halyn but she’s sick so it will be more of a checking on her thing.”

  Two minutes, then Liev met him at the door. He never complained about going, so long as he knew he was not being left behind. They piled into his Forester and got on their way.

  At her house, getting no response after he knocked, Enzo tried the door, shaking his head when it swung open. Small-town mentality, leaving your house unlocked. He sent Liev to the sofa and walked slowly to her room.

  He knocked softly. “Halyn?”

  A tortured groan met him so he pushed into the darkness. The only daylight in the room came from the door he’d just opened. Her bed was a rumpled mess, her head hidden under a pillow, wadded-up tissues all along the floor by her head and the nightstand.

  “Sweetheart?”

  Moving forward, he left the light off, the amount coming in by the door allowed him to see clearly enough. He drew the pillow from her head and his heart tripled in speed. Seeing her again, after all this time…he just wanted to hold her. But he refrained. It was obvious she was sick, her nose reddish, eyes puffy, she continually shifted as if she couldn’t get comfortable at all.

  “Aww, hell.” She looked miserable.

  He placed a hand against her forehead, dismayed by the amount of heat she generated. Despite all of the heat, she had buried herself beneath tons of blankets as if she couldn’t get warm enough. He went to the kitchen drawer where she kept trash bags and took one back with him.

  In her room, he picked up all the trash and put her clothes in the wicker hamper. Once it was cleaner, he disposed of the garbage and washed his hands. With a new box of tissues to place beside her in the bedroom resting on the counter next to him, he heated up some water and grabbed a mug. Hot lemon water in one hand, tissues in the other, he made his way back to her room.

  She’d buried her head again and this time lay towards the f
ar corner of the bed. He sat and peeled back the blankets. Hand on the small of her back, which was damp with sweat, he shook her.

  “Wake up, sweetheart.”

  “Leave me alone.”

  “I will, right after you drink this.”

  “No.”

  “Just a few sips. Come on, for me.”

  “You’re not here. Enzo’s gone. We’re broken up. I don’t have to listen to you just because you sound like him.” Her words, although slurred, were clear enough.

  “Of course not. Just drink this, come on. Sit up.”

  He had to drag her to a sitting position. Even then he wasn’t sure she would be able to drink anything. Her body was boneless, flopping over. Supporting her, he brought the cup to her lips.

  “Little sips.”

  “No.”

  “I’ll give you anything you want.”

  “Okay.” She took a small sip. “Leave me alone.”

  He didn’t, not until he’d changed her into something dry. It was like dressing a doll, limbs limp, head lolling on her neck.

  Months of celibacy to be this close to the woman he wanted more than anything, undressing her—well, it wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do. He ignored the desire for her that poured through him.

  Leaving her didn’t sit well and he checked on her constantly until the time came for him to leave. She still slept. He’d managed to get some more liquid down her, but her temperature never broke.

  Returning as soon as he could after dinner, Enzo peered in to see how she was doing. Pulling off a pillow, he frowned when he saw her feet. She’d turned herself completely around. Readjusting her, he tucked her back in and went back out to get Liev to bed in the spare room.

  “She’s sick.”

  “Yes, she is.”

  “I hope she gets better soon. I’ve missed her.”

  “Missed her too.”

  Liev carefully rolled up his earphones around his iPod. “I like her better than Carly.”

  Carly Madk was the woman he’d hired to basically babysit Liev. She tutored him as well, but some days he wondered who taught who things. Despite him not encouraging her in any sort of way, she constantly came onto him. He ignored it—he just wanted his son to be taken care of.

  “What’s wrong with Carly? I thought she was a good teacher.”

  He folded the clothing he’d just removed before getting in his pyjamas. “She asks too many questions about you instead of teaching. She would rather be watching your races than helping me if I needed it.”

  Enzo furrowed his brow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I don’t need her help to learn. I am capable of reading a book myself.”

  “Would you rather we didn’t travel so much?”

  “You are the father, where we go is your decision. I can read anywhere.”

  “I know you can, but would you rather stay somewhere, say, like here? Do things like other boys do.”

  “Other boys read.” Liev slid between the sheets.

  Things were so simple in his world. “Sports. Friends. That kind of thing.”

  “It would be nice to be closer to Aunt Jaydee, I like talking to her. And I enjoy Halyn. She makes wonderful cookies and pie.”

  “Get some sleep, Liev.” He tucked him in. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Enzo closed the door behind him on the way out and locked up the house. Then he made his way to Halyn’s room. Her fever had broken and he felt much better about that. Stripping down to his boxers, he climbed into bed with her after taking care of his needs.

  Her mumbling stopped when he drew her back against his chest and held her. She sighed, wriggled her ass oh so temptingly against his desperately hard cock, and fell back into her deep slumber.

  A few hours later, he woke to her hand stroking him. A groan and buck of his hips had him swearing as he tried to remember she was still a bit out of it. “We can’t,” he moaned.

  “Please. All those nights of my fingers or vibrator. I need this”—her fingers tightened about him—“need you deep inside me like only you can do.”

  Sweat broke out on his forehead. He couldn’t do this. Taking a hand to remove her touch, he swore when she grabbed it and put his fingers to her slick pussy. She ground against his hand and he closed his eyes, sliding two digits deep inside her. Christ, it had been so long since he’d touched heaven. He wasn’t going to last long.

  She rode his hand as she continued to stroke his cock. Panting, she made sexy mewls with her throat.

  “More,” she begged.

  “Halyn. Come on, sweetheart. I’m only human here. You’ve been sick.”

  Her answer was to kick off the blankets. He got out of bed unable to stay so close to her and not have her. Settling into the chair across from her, he knew it would be a long night. Especially the way she continued calling for him.

  * * * *

  Halyn rubbed her eyes again as she waited for the boarding call. When she’d been struck down with the flu, not much had made sense and she was still recovering. She’d had a lot of dreams about Enzo, which was odd but she didn’t argue with herself as to why, she figured it was because he was supposed to be in town.

  That would explain why she was at the airport about to head home for a visit. She couldn’t face him again. Not yet. Having the flu had derailed her plans a bit, so when she’d woken feeling like she could actually travel, she had taken the first flight she could.

  “I swear he was there,” she muttered.

  Her house had been cleaned and someone had changed her clothing. Her guess was Mila, but her friend hadn’t picked up this morning when she’d called. So she left a message, thanking her for looking in on her, and had proceeded to get to her flight.

  She slept on the flight and felt a bit better when they landed. She rented a car, then drove out to her parents’ house.

  “Halyn!” her mom said, hurrying down to the car for a hug.

  “Mom.”

  Yes, this was what she needed. Total love and acceptance. Tears pricked her eyes and she didn’t even try to blink them away. Her dad came down next. He looked so much better than when she’d seen him last.

  “Daddy.”

  “Heard my pumpkin was coming for a visit,” he said with a smile, gathering her close.

  “And you didn’t run?”

  “Thought about it,” he teased. “You’re looking tired? Are you feeling okay?”

  “I was sick but am on the mend. It’s so good to see you.” Another hug for each and she was on her way inside with them.

  * * * *

  After dinner, they sat at the table playing dominoes, drinking beer and snacking on popcorn. Her mom took her turn and pinned her all-too-knowing gaze on her.

  “Whatcha running from, honey?”

  She took a drink of her Honey Weiss to weigh her response and enjoyed the crisp flavour. “Can’t a girl come home just to visit without have to be running from something?”

  “Sure she can. But when I see shadows lurking in your eyes I know. Talk to us, honey.”

  Another drink, followed by another, prior to setting the bottle down. “I met someone.”

  Her parents shared a glance before returning their attention to her. “This is a good thing, right?” her mother asked.

  “It was.”

  Her father frowned. “I’m not following. Was? As in it’s over now?”

  “Yes. Well, I don’t know. It’s…complicated.”

  Her mom got up and went to get some more popcorn from the countertop. “So you still have feelings for him. Are you in love with him?”

  She dropped her head to the table, barely missing the bottle.

  “We’ll take that as a yes,” her dad said with amusement in his tone.

  “So what happened?” Her mom rested a comforting hand upon her shoulder.

  “He’s got a child,” she said pushing back upright in her seat and wrapping her fingers around the neck of her bottle. �
�No, that’s not the problem”—she shrugged—“well, it is in a sense.” She groaned and covered her face with her hands before lowering them and playing her next domino.

  “I love the boy, it’s tragic really, his mom showed up and just dumped him off with Enzo. He didn’t even know about him. Anyway, Liev is the one I told you about finding him hiding in the bears at the store. So I think he’s fine. The problem is that Enzo expects me to babysit his son for him while he’s off racing.”

  “Racing?” Her mom took her turn.

  “He’s the boat racer.”

  “The one from Monte Carlo.” Her dad made that a statement, not a question.

  “Yes, that’s the one. His brother and sister-in-law live outside of town. So he came early before a race to visit them and we ran into each other.” She waved it off. “Anyway, I just don’t think it’s right I’m watching his child while he’s out racing. Especially when he’s just learning to be with his son. I’m not a babysitter.”

  “No, you’re not. And you talked to him about this?”

  “From the very beginning when we started dating. I told him I didn’t care he had a son but I wasn’t going to be his caregiver. At the time he seemed fine, but then it started to change. We went to California for that New Year’s event and all I did it seemed was watch his son. I went to the party on New Year’s Eve, but even then…” She trailed off.

  “Have you talked to him about how you feel now?”

  “I tried.” That may not be the absolute truth. “Sort of.”

  “You know we’ll back you on whatever you choose, but if you truly love this man than you need to sit down and talk it out. See if you can make it work before you stand up, throw in the towel and walk away forever.” Her mother smiled softly.

  “I know, but…”

  “No buts, Halyn. A relationship is hard work. If you want one that is going to last longer than a minute, you need to put work and effort into it. You don’t get to expect him to be the only one to change. You need to compromise and come to understandings. That’s only going to work if you are willing to let it.” Her mother took her father’s hand and squeezed it.

  “I’m not cut out for the flashy lifestyle he lives.”