The Roof is on Fire

by Brenda Hampton

  “Don’t know, don’t care. As long as my shit is, it bends a little bit, but only when it has to curve into somethin’.”

  Jaylin slapped his hand against Roc’s. They got back to working out.

  Nearly an hour later, I finished up and wiped down my face with a fluffy white towel. I was breathing hard, so I bent over to get some water from the fountain. Saying nothing else, I headed for the door.

  “Chase,” Jaylin called out to me. I turned around to see what he wanted. He winked. “Looking good, baby. Keep up the good work.”

  I nodded and heard Roc say “umph” as I walked out the door. Got’em, I thought. This was the turning point I had hoped for.

  After leaving the workout room, I headed for the bedroom to gather clean clothes and take a shower. Outside of the bedroom door, I could hear Jada speaking to someone. Since I had given her one of the cell phones Jeff gave me, I hurried to open the door. Sure enough, she was sitting on the bed laughing and talking to someone.

  “What are you doing?” I shouted.

  “Girl, let me call you back. Okay,” she said, laughing again before ending the call. She put the phone beside her and shot me an evil stare.

  “What was that all about?” I asked. “I told you to be careful about that phone, Jada. Are you trying to get us busted or what?”

  “I haven’t spoken to my girl in a while, so I figured I’d give her a quick call. Regardless, you don’t have to shout at me like I’m some little kid or somethin’, do you?”

  Yes, this bitch was working my nerves, but the truth of the matter was I needed her in order to pull this off. I needed for her to fall in line so we could hurry up and get this over with. “I apologize for raising my voice, but come on, Jada. I thought I could trust you. What if Roc or Jaylin would’ve walked in here and saw you with that cell phone? All they had to do was tell Jeff and he’d be walking you out of here.”

  “I thought you had the hook up with Jeff? If you do, then you should be able to make sure I stay in this house, no matter what I do.”

  My face fell flat. No she wasn’t trying to go there, especially when I was the one giving up the coochie to keep Jeff on my team. “That sounds like you’re taking advantage of the situation. I’m sure Jeff is going to question me about you being on the phone. It’s going to put me in a bad position. Just do both of us a huge favor and stay off the phone. This is almost over with. I don’t want you doing anything to mess up our money.”

  Jada stood and stretched. “Sure, Chase. I won’t call my friend again, but you gon’ need to hurry this up, because I’m gettin’ a li’l frustrated with Jaylin and Roc. They always sayin’ stupid stuff. I don’t think they realize how much that stuff hurts.”

  “Don’t go getting all sensitive on me, and to hell with both of them. Who cares what they say? I’m going to need for you to come through for us. You’ll feel so much better in another day or two. You can trust me on that.”

  “I hope so.”

  Jada walked toward the door. She smiled, making me feel a little bit better than I did after I came into the room. I grabbed several pieces of clothing from the closet and headed for the bathroom. Before showering, I leaned against the counter to call Jeff.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he said. “What’s cooking?”

  “Nothing much. I’m sure you saw Jada using the phone. I told her to knock it off before she got caught. She’s very hardheaded, but I know for a fact that she wants this money more than I do.”

  “I hope she listens to you. I’ve seen her on the phone more than once. Roc almost caught her earlier, but she walked away and went outside. I don’t know if it was a good idea for you to involve her.”

  I bit my nail, feeling the same way. “I’m with you on this, but I don’t have a choice. She knows what’s up with us, and I had to let her in on this so she wouldn’t say anything. It’s a done deal now, so I have to go with the flow.”

  “You don’t have to do anything. Are you sure you don’t want her kicked out of the house? She could be kicked out for breaking the rules, you know?”

  “Yeah, but then Jaylin and Roc will question where she got the phone. I’m sure she’ll tell them and point the finger at me. That wouldn’t be smart on our part, so let it ride for now. Besides, Jaylin is already hanging on by a thread and he doesn’t even know it. I guess you’ll be paying him a visit real soon.”

  “Yes, soon. He is so done. As for you, my dear, you have me craving for you again.”

  I rolled my eyes, glad that he couldn’t see me. The one thing I hated was clingy men who didn’t know when they were being used. “Like I told Jada, we’re getting so close to ending this. I don’t want any fuck ups, especially since I noticed Jaylin and Roc paying more attention to me. Once this is done, you can have me when, where, or however you want me. Let’s work on crossing the finish line first.”

  “Sounds good, babe. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Great. And do me a small favor.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Bring me some Viagra. I may need it to speed things along.”

  Jeff laughed. “I will, sweetheart. But please don’t hurt yourself.”

  I couldn’t help but to laugh. “Never.”

  Wasting a little time before my shower, I went to the computer desk to check my fan mail. I had a lot of women griping about some of the things that I’d done, but their comments didn’t bother me not one bit. They hadn’t seen anything yet. This time, I intended to go all out.

  The men who emailed me always wanted more. I read two emails from a man named Jerrod, and I brightened his day with a freaky response. Then I read an email from Laurel who didn’t inform me where she lived.

  Chase, I want to know why you think it is okay for you to date married men? That’s my only issue with you. I sort of like your style because you remind me of myself, minus the married men thingy. If a man is married, you must know that he’s off limits.

  I rolled my eyes, but still replied to her email.

  Laurel, the man has to determine if he’s off limits, not me. It’s not that I go around seeking married men, and truthfully, I prefer not to go there with them. But if one of them happens to make himself available to me, and I’m attracted to him, then I go for it. My demands are minimal, and I’m never interested in him separating from his wife. Nine times out of ten, that won’t happen anyway, and I’m not one of those foolish mistresses who believe that it will. What I offer any man that I date is in-the-meantime, and in-between-time companionship. My time with men can be seen as therapeutic, and I’m being honest when I say that many of them really need my help. I don’t know why people always see what I do as a negative thing, but my advice to married women would be to take good care of their husbands so women like me won’t have to. The truth is sometimes hard to swallow, but I’m just keeping it real. If you’ve gotten to know me, you already know that’s what I do. Gotta go, and I hope you continue to like my style.

  I logged off the computer and returned to the bathroom to take my shower.

  Something didn’t feel right to me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t like me to feel paranoid for no particular reason. I guess the main reason that I had been feeling this way was because everybody left in the house was getting along too well. With women around, there was always a little attitude to be expected, but it was nowhere near to the level that it had been before. Even Roc and I were doing okay. I was starting to have much respect for him, and I understood where he was coming from about not trusting his woman. She had him somewhat tripping. He was high as hell almost every hour on the hour. If I was that upset, I seriously think I’d be at home by now, getting things in order.

  I guess it showed me how serious he was about this challenge. But maybe not serious enough, since he hadn’t been trying to get Chase out of here like he said he would. I was doing my best not to sweat him about it—considering what he was dealing with—but whenever I felt as though somebody was failing me, I had to pick up the pieces and
handle things for myself. And as delightful as Chase had been looking these past few weeks, and after the way she waxed my dick, I was starting to feel as though picking up the pieces wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. Then again, maybe it was just me wanting to sample some new pussy.

  My workout was done, so I wanted to shower. Somebody was already in the bathroom. I figured it was Chase, because Roc had gone for a swim and Jada was sitting on the couch pouting while watching TV. I assumed she was still upset about how our conversation went down earlier.

  “Why your mouth still stuck out?” I asked, then took a seat, dressed in my gray sweatpants. A towel was in my hand, so I used it to wipe sweat from my face and bare chest.

  “Don’t say nothin’ to me, Jaylin, especially if you don’t have anything nice to say.”

  “I have said nice things to you, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

  “You know good and well what I’m talkin’ about. How you gon’ tell me I can’t look sexy workin’ out, so don’t bother? I didn’t think a woman had to look sexy workin’ out, and too damn bad if I don’t.”

  “I said you wouldn’t look as sexy as Chase. Not that you wasn’t sexy at all.”

  She folded her arms and pursed her lips even more. “So, in other words, you think I’m sexy, but not as sexy as Chase? Is that what you’re sayin’?”

  “What I’m saying is it doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is what you believe about yourself.”

  “I get all of that, and you can trust and believe that I know I’m sexy, no matter what you say.”

  “Good, then why are you still pouting? It’s like you saying my dick is crooked when I know it ain’t.”

  “Well, maybe you should get a better look at that thing because it is crooked. Big time.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Do you want me to pull it out and show you that it’s not crooked?”

  “You can do whatever you want to, but I already saw how crooked it is.”

  I stood and dropped my sweats to my ankles. I stood nearly butt naked, causing her to jump back and move several inches away from me.

  “Maybe you need to focus your eyes a little better or get some glasses.” I looked down at my goods. “Where do you see a crooked dick?”

  Jada sat up straight. She looked at my front side, then examined my back side. “It ain’t hard yet. Wait until it gets hard, then I can show you how crooked it is.”

  I sat back on the couch, resting my arms on top of it. “Well, let’s wait until it gets hard then.”

  Jada had a smirk on her face, trying not to laugh. “You don’t have no shame in your game, do you? First, you put all that…that nailgrippin’ ass in my face, and then you got this thing just layin’ there like it ain’t nothin’. You must think I’m a dyke or somethin’, or that I’m in no way interested in men. Well, breakin’ news, sweetheart. I will tear up somethin’ like that. If you do not cover up that thing, my mouth is gon’ make a crash landin’ in your lap that may be very painful for you because I won’t let up.”

  “See, you’re not being fair. Don’t hurt me. All I want to do is prove my point. Talk like that gon’ keep it down, when I’m trying to get it to go up.”

  Jada cleared mucus from her throat and crossed her legs. “Aww, okay. So you need a li’l dirty talk, huh? Close your eyes and I’ll whisper in your ear whatever comes to mind.”

  There was no way in hell Jada could get me hard, so I closed my eyes to fuck with her. She threw her heavy leg across my lap and leaned into my ear.

  “Are you listenin’?” she whispered, then blew her hot breath on my ear.

  I nodded.

  “Good. Now relax and travel with me to Jaylin’s land. A place where so many hoes done been, but the door remains open to plenty mo’. A place where coochies get wet, and you’re willin’ and able to satisfy them all. Yo crooked dick can make a woman holla at the top of her lungs, and—”

  “I’m still not hard, and that mess you’re talking is corny. Get to the point, or should I say, get to the good stuff.”

  Jada pushed my shoulder. “Just wait a minute, would you? I’m gettin’ there.” She cleared her throat again, then continued on. “It was the night before Christmas when we had passionate sex all through the house. Everybody was staring, even the mouse who couldn’t believe how I straddled my big ass across yo lap and rode you until yo nuts fell off and—”

  My eyes shot open. “This ain’t working for me. You’re heading in the wrong direction.”

  Jada snapped. “Patience. I said I’m gettin’ there, so close your eyes. Please.”

  I closed my eyes, then cocked my neck from side to side. “Hurry up with this. I don’t have all day.”

  “Yes you do. ’Cause ain’t shit else to do around here but this. Now, where was I?”

  “You were talking about cutting off my nuts.”

  “No, stupid, they fell off. But I caught them in my mouth before they hit the floor. And then, uh, what’s one of your hoochies’ names?”

  “I don’t do hoochies.”

  “Well, one of those cute, church-goin’ girls who loves you. What’s her name?”

  “Nokea.”

  “No who?”

  “No. Key. A.”

  “That’s a fucked up name. What the heck was wrong with her parents, naming her after a phone? They on crack or what? Anyway, I caught yo nuts and Nokea swallowed yo dick.”

  I nodded. “You’re on the right path. Stay that course and keep including Nokea.”

  I felt a smack on the back of my head and I opened my eyes.

  “See, there you go insultin’ me again,” Jada griped. “I was tryin’ to be nice to you, Jaylin, and I even included one of yo bitches. But you took my kindness and ran with it.”

  “Don’t use that kind of language when you’re referring to her, all right? You asked for a name and I gave you one. Don’t be mad at me because you have no clue whatsoever what it means to talk dirty.”

  Jada cocked her head back. “What? I was—”

  “What’s going on in here?” Chase asked from behind us.

  We turned around, only to see her with a towel wrapped around her naked body. My thoughts turned naughty. I visualized what was underneath the towel. Thought about her legs wrapped around my back while I rocked her pussy to sleep. I could feel my manhood rise to the occasion.

  “I’ll be damned,” Jada said in awe as she looked down at my goods. “It’s a miracle, and it doesn’t take much, does it?”

  Chase rolled her eyes and walked off. Any other time, she would have joined in, but not today. I held my meat in my hand, gripping it up.

  “Now, show me where my dick is crooked.”

  “Let it go so it can stand up by itself.”

  I let it go and watched Jada examine it with bugged eyes. “It’s uh, thick,” she confirmed.

  “Yes.”

  “Veeery long.”

  “Correct.”

  “Smooth.”

  “No doubt.”

  “Mouthwaterin’.”

  “Of course.”

  “Suckable.”

  “I would hope so.”

  “Satisfyin’.”

  “Always.”

  “Circumcised.”

  “Since day one.”

  “But I can honestly say that it’s not crooked.”

  “No. Now where is my apology?”

  “It’s right between my legs. Would you like for me to give it to you now or later?”

  “Nah, later. After I take a shower.”

  I stood and pulled up my sweats. When I looked up, to my surprise, Jeff was standing near the hallway.

  “Sorry,” he said, looking at me and Jada. “Did I interrupt something?”

  “Hell, yes,” Jada said. “I was gettin’ ready to apologize to this man for all of the hurtful and wrong things that I’ve done and said about him. I need for him to accept my apology real soon. You interrupted my
plea for him to forgive me to the fullest.”

  “I thought I heard him say that he forgave you,” Jeff said, looking at me. “Didn’t you?”

  “I told her I would accept her apology later, but I think she may have wanted to give me a little something now.”

  “You two can work that out later. Right now, Jaylin, I need to speak to you about some concerns that I have.”

  I shrugged. “Sure. What’s up?”

  Jeff looked at Jada, who was all ears. She picked up a magazine and flipped through it, as if she was interested.

  “Follow me.” Jeff made his way toward the front of the house. I followed, wanting to find out what was on his mind.

  He turned at the foyer to face me. “I need to be clear about something. There was a rule in this house about letting outsiders come in. You weren’t supposed to do that, but the cameras caught you letting a woman inside.”

  At first, I didn’t know what the hell Jeff was talking about, but then it hit me. “I assume you’re talking about the maid, Brashaney. If you saw me on camera letting her inside, then there shouldn’t be any questions asked. Her main purpose was to come here and clean this house. I got your permission to do that and you gave me clearance, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, I did. But she came back later that night. Roc opened the door, but he didn’t allow her to come inside. You, however, did.”

  Jeff was starting to piss me off. It was like he was grasping at straws, trying to get me caught up. “I let her in here, but the only reason she was here to begin with was because she came to clean the house.”

  “That’s not the only reason she was here. The bottom line is she shouldn’t have been invited to come back inside, especially since she was someone that you knew from the past.”

  I narrowed my eyes, trying to hold down my anger. “Look, Jeff. I don’t know what all this bullshit is about, but I had no idea that she worked for the company I called to come and clean this house.”

  “But I gave you a list of companies and asked you to decide which one. Isn’t it ironic that you chose the company where she works? It doesn’t add up, especially since she decided to come back later that day.”