The Roof is on Fire

by Brenda Hampton

“Isn’t it ironic that, by now, my foot ain’t in your ass? I don’t care if it adds up to you; it adds up to me. Sounds like this is your problem, not mine. I don’t like this shit you trying to put off on me. You know damn well that the only reason I allowed her to come back in here was because I thought she probably forgot something.”

  Jeff smirked, obviously putting on a front for the cameras. He stepped a few inches away from me, as I had moved closer to confront him. “What did she forget? I didn’t see her leave here with anything.”

  “If you must know, she forgot to tell me something. What she left here with was closure.”

  “I don’t understand why you’re getting upset. I’m doing my job, and as I see it, you broke the rules. Anyone who breaks the rules will be asked to leave. In an effort to be fair to the others, that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

  My blood was boiling. I couldn’t believe that he was trying to throw me out of here over some bullshit with Brashaney. I could see if I invited her to come here, but that wasn’t the case. Jeff was about to catch hell if he was trying to spin this in his favor.

  “Fuck all the mumbo jumbo. Did you come here to put me out or what?”

  “To be honest, I need to investigate this more. I already placed a call to the young lady who was here, just to get more details. I have to be sure that you didn’t know she worked for that cleaning company and you didn’t ask her to return that night.”

  “Do your investigation and do it well. If you don’t thoroughly investigate this, and you come back with a conclusion that is not in line with what I’m telling you, we gon’ have ourselves a serious problem. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get back to something or someone who is way more interesting than you.”

  I walked away, but stopped in my tracks when I heard Jeff call my name. “Within a week, like it or not, Jaylin, that’s when I’ll be back with my decision.”

  I kept it moving and made my way back into the living room. Jada wasn’t there anymore, so I chilled on the couch. Jeff walked by, and when I looked up, he asked if anyone was in the restroom. All I did was shrug. I had nothing else to say to a sly motherfucker I definitely didn’t trust. I knew my instincts hadn’t failed me. Something was up.

  Feeling frustrated about the breaking news with Brashaney, I went to go look for Chase. I found her by the poolside chilling and reading a book.

  “Come on,” I said to her. “Let’s get this going.”

  She laid the book on the table and slowly sat up. “Get what going? What are you talking about?”

  “Put your shorts on and you’ll see.”

  I walked away to the basketball court. Minutes later, Chase came onto the court with me. She had on a hot pink bikini top and black stretch shorts that covered her bikini bottoms. The shorts display a sizeable gap between her legs and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

  “Where are your tennis shoes?” I asked. “Go get them so we can play a game of one-on-one.”

  Chase folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t play basketball, Jaylin, so why waste the time? If you’re looking for a competitive game, I think you may want to call Roc out here.”

  I bounced the ball on the ground, then took a shot and missed.

  “Not interested in playing with Roc. If you win, I’ll cook dinner for you.”

  “No, if I win, you’re going to do much more than cook dinner. You’re going to feed it to me too.”

  “Bet. Now, go get your tennis shoes.”

  She walked off and came back ready to go. We worked up a sweat playing basketball, but after taking several shots, Chase hadn’t made one. I figured she wouldn’t, but it was relaxing to see her body dripping with sweat. It was also interesting to see the cheeks of her ass bulge out of the shorts. She kept pulling her shorts down, but they continued to rise to the occasion.

  “You, at least, have to give me credit for trying,” she said. “Some credit, and just so you know, I’m a big fan of turkey burgers.”

  She took the shot and finally made one. She jumped for joy and so did her breasts.

  “Turkey burgers are my favorite as well. I hope you have fun making them for us. That one shot can’t save you, baby. This game is over.”

  I took the shot and watched the ball roll slowly around the rim before dropping in. I swiped my hands together. “Done deal. And thank you very much for showing me your skills.”

  Chase knew exactly what I was referring to, and after retrieving the ball, she tucked it underneath her arm. She came up to me with a grin on her face.

  “I got dinner for the winner, and I’ll be more than happy to feed it to you. But the really important question is, do I shower first, do you, or do we shower together?”

  I didn’t hesitate to answer. “You go ahead and make that move first. I’ll go afterward, and by then, hopefully, my food will be ready.”

  Chase threw the ball at my chest and I grabbed it. She walked away, so I turned to take another shot. I didn’t see if I’d made it or not, because she yanked on my arm, swinging me around to face her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “But I’ve been dying to do this.”

  She hiked up on the tips of her toes and pulled the back of my head toward her. Our lips touched and tongues danced. It didn’t take long for our kiss to get intense. So intense that I lowered my hands to squeeze her plump ass. I aimed my hardness in a spot where she could feel it, but this time she backed away.

  “If you want to join me, the bathroom door will be unlocked. If not, I’ll see you at the dinner table.”

  Chase sashayed away, but with so much on my mind, I stayed outside and continued to hoop. At least thirty or forty minutes had gone by before I headed inside. When I entered the kitchen, she was there talking to Jada. I suspected Chase was getting ready to make our food, and without saying a word, I went to the bathroom to take a cold shower.

  “That’s some foul shit,” I said as Jaylin sat in one of the lounging chairs telling me what Jeff had said earlier. “You should have knocked him out cold for gettin’ at you over that dumb shit.”

  “You know I wanted to, but I’m gon’ let his ass do his so-called investigation. I can promise you this, though. If he comes back in here telling me I got to leave, all hell is going to break loose.”

  “I feel you, and whatever happens, you know I got yo back. I’mma call that fool out on his shit, ‘cause we not gon’ play the game like that. I don’t blame you for gettin’ your clown on, but maybe after he clears things up with yo ex, everything will be cool.”

  Jaylin nodded, watching as I sucked in heat from the joint I was smoking. I couldn’t help myself from smoking. Desa Rae complained so much about my weed habit that I’d slacked up a bit. I didn’t realize how much I missed this shit or how much it relaxed me, until these past few weeks. I must admit that the stuff Prince left behind was fire. It calmed my nerves and prevented me from rushing out of here to go put my foot in Desa Rae’s ass for letting Reggie in her house.

  I couldn’t get over our phone call that day. And then for Vanessa to tell me that she’d seen Desa Rae with another man really messed me up. Had she been getting it in like that while I was away? I couldn’t help it that my thoughts of her doing some freaky shit behind closed doors were stirring in my head. I thought about her laughing with that nigga Reggie, and I got hyped about it. It didn’t seem like she had been missing me as much as I had been missing her. What if that fool was in my bed with my woman, making love to her? Anything was possible, especially since I wasn’t there to see what the fuck was going on.

  Then, maybe I was feeling a bit insecure, knowing that I hadn’t been one hundred in this house. I’d had some close encounters with Chase that left me feeling bad behind my actions. The touchy-feely mess between us wasn’t good for my relationship with Desa Rae. But what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt. At the end of the day, my insecurities could very well come from all the dope I’d been smoking. I couldn’t depart from my crazy thoughts, possibly because my mind was
n’t right. But too fucking bad. Until I made a move from this house, the weed stayed right with me.

  Jaylin and I were waiting for the women to finish dinner. Chase said she was cooking turkey burgers for her and Jaylin, and Jada said that she would throw down for me and her. We had scrapped the schedule, especially since every time I cooked, the food managed to burn. When Jaylin cooked, his meals weren’t fulfilling, so it was good to see the li’l mamas step up and take charge in the kitchen.

  “I’m ready to get my grub on,” I said to Jaylin as he seemed to be in deep thought.

  He finished the remainder of his Remy, then stood up. “Yeah, me too. Are they done cooking yet?”

  “Let’s go see.”

  I smashed the tip of the joint, putting it out with my fingertips. Then we headed inside to see what was up. Nothing. We couldn’t smell nothing but air freshener. Jada and Chase were sitting at the kitchen table lollygagging and laughing as they talked.

  “What’s up with the food?” I raised my voice. “I thought y’all were supposed to be in here cookin’?”

  “We were about to get started, loud mouth,” Jada hissed. “But we got sidetracked.”

  “Sidetracked by what? Conversation?”

  Chase rolled her eyes at me. “Excuse me, but the last time I checked, if a man wants you to do something for him, he needs to lower his voice and ask politely. You’re coming off all wrong, Roc. That kind of attitude doesn’t move me one bit.”

  Chase was starting to irritate the fuck out of me with her smart-ass mouth. There was serious trouble lurking in her future.

  “Baby,” Jaylin said to her. “I am hungry as hell. Would you and your fine-ass friend next to you mind cooking a brotha something to eat? I would surely appreciate it, and I promise to do any and everything you ask me to do. That’s if it’s within reason.”

  Chase smiled, but Jada’s face fell flat. “Your promises ain’t worth two cents, but I like the way you called me fine. That I am, so I’mma get started on fryin’ up some greasy pork chops, smothered in a bunch of thick brown gravy with onions and peppers. Potatoes, too.”

  “Bake my pork chops, if you don’t mind. I prefer pork chops instead of turkey burgers,” Jaylin replied.

  “This ain’t the early 1900s, sweetie. I don’t take orders, so therefore you will have to eat whatever we cook for you. If you don’t like it, you already know what to do. Chase, do you want to remind him or shall I?”

  Chase sauntered over to Jaylin and sat on his lap. “That would be for you to eat an apple. However, since you have been so nice to me, I will scrap the turkey burgers and bake your pork chops. Your potatoes will not include salt or butter. Deal?”

  “Not really, but it depends on how the food looks. I may have to consider that apple.”

  “Tuh,” Jada shouted from behind the counter. “Then more food for us.”

  Chase looked over at me and cut her eyes. I didn’t know what the fuck her problem was, but her anger was directed at the wrong one. After mean muggin’ me, she went into the kitchen and got busy with Jada. Jaylin and I stayed at the kitchen table, playing several hands of spades. He was up in the last game, but I ended it as soon as dinner was finished.

  “The least y’all can do is set the table,” Jada said. “Jaylin, get up!”

  “Talking to me like that will not get action. Besides, I’m not sure if I’m going to eat anyway.”

  He got up from the table to go look at the food. While wincing at what Jada had made, she lightly pushed him. “Oooo, I swear you make me so sick. I can’t believe how picky you are, and I bet you drive your maids crazy. How many of them do you have anyway?”

  “I don’t have any maids, but the woman who cooks for me does a much better job than you do.”

  “Well, that nappy-head bitch ain’t here, is she? Your insults are workin’ me, Jaylin. If you don’t like what you see, don’t eat it.”

  The gaze in Jaylin’s eyes damn near shot Jada dead. “If you call anyone else that I mention to you a bitch, I’m going to repeat exactly what Prince did to you. You’ve been warned. Watch your mouth.”

  Jada made her body shiver. “Brrrrr,” she said with sarcasm. “Your words are cold and I’m so scared. You can trust and believe that if you put your hands on me, I’m gon’ cut yo tail up, Jada Mahoney-style. Now, move away from me. I’m exhausted from cookin,’ and I’m not in the mood for any noncents.”

  “Nonsense or noncents?” he asked, still fucking with her.

  “Nonsense or cents,” I said, intervening. “No matter what, I’m ready to eat.”

  “Me, too,” Chase added. “Resolve y’all issues later.”

  Jaylin refused to eat what Chase had cooked too. She was upset. He went to the fridge and pulled out an apple and some cottage cheese. With a disgusted look on his face, he removed a box of crackers from the pantry and returned to the table to sit down.

  “I wouldn’t feed my worst enemy that shit Jada cooked. Who in the hell put pork chops in that much gravy and grease?”

  “Obviously, yo mama didn’t, mine did,” Jada said, then looked at me. “Roc, if you would like more than just two pork chops, you’re welcomed to it. That ole cheese and cracker eatin’ fool over there don’t have a clue what good cookin’ is. His loss, not mine.”

  No gripes from me because, as usual, the food looked good from where I was standing. Jaylin could get down on that apple and cottage cheese all he wanted to; I was doing the chops. I helped Jada set the table so we could eat.

  “Before we eat, let’s give thanks for this wonderful food I done prepared for y’all, while Chase did nothin’ but run her mouth and stand around lookin’ cute. I don’t want her to get any credit when y’all sink y’all’s teeth into my chops.”

  “I did bake one pork chop and I also smashed the potatoes,” Chase said. “I have no problem giving credit where it’s due. You did your thing, so let’s pray, especially for you.”

  I wasn’t about to back away from praying and listen to Jada’s mouth. I bowed my head with the others. I closed my eyes, but nobody said anything.

  “Roc,” Jaylin said. “Gon’ and do your thing. Show leadership and express how thankful you are for all of this mess.”

  “Excuse me, Jesus,” Jada said, opening her eyes. “But fuck you, Jaylin, all right? You gon’ make me go there with you durin’ prayer, so please be quiet for one doggone minute.”

  I hurried to speak so this wouldn’t go on and on. “I’m very thankful that Jada knows how to throw down, and I’m thankful that as hungry as I am, I didn’t have to dive into any of Chase’s horrible food. Thank you, Lord. Amen.”

  “Amen,” the others said, except Chase.

  “Screw you too, Roc,” she said. “You’re working me.”

  “Not yet. But I will, though. Soon.”

  Like a brat, she kicked me from underneath the table. I guess she expected for me to scream like a scared li’l bitch, but all I did was display a wicked smile.

  “You scare me when you look at me that way,” she said with sarcasm in her voice. “Please stop.”

  “You should be scared. Very scared.”

  She threw her hand back at me. “Don’t fool yourself, Roc. I’m not afraid of anyone, so you can save those dirty looks for another day.”

  “My looks don’t have nothin’ to do with this. And I’m not goin’ to sit at this table and tell you plenty of reasons why you should be afraid. I’ll mention one. It’s because I’m tellin’ you that you should be.”

  Jada dropped her fork and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “All these threats are killin’ me. Since when do men do it like that? I say if you gon’ do somethin’ to somebody, then gon’ ahead and do it. Stop talkin’ all that noncents and show, not tell.”

  “Nonsense,” Jaylin said, chomping down on his apple. “N-O-N-S-E-N-S-E. Stop sounding like an idiot.”

  “Yo M-A-M-A, momma. She’s the only idiot I know of, for havin’ someone like you.”

  Jaylin sat across the table f
rom Jada without saying another word. There was a crisp silence for about a whole minute before he got up and stroked his goatee. I thought he was leaving the kitchen, but when I saw him grab Jada’s hair from the back, it shocked the shit out of me. He pulled tight, causing her to squeeze her watery eyes.

  “Let my hair go,” Jada shouted, trying to remove his hands by scratching at them. That made him pull tighter.

  He bent down and calmly whispered in her ear. “I’m gon’ say this one more time, and you’d better listen to me good. Leave my fucking mother out of your mouth. You can play all you want to with me, but going there will get you in a neck brace. That’s no threat, baby, it’s a promise.”

  Jaylin pushed her head forward, before letting it go. Afterward, he removed her plate from in front of her and dumped it in the trash. Before Jada could process what he had done, he also dumped the remaining pork chops on the stove in the trash.

  “Hold the fuck up!” Jada shouted. “Oh, no, you didn’t just pull my hair like that and dump my food, did you?”

  Jaylin folded his arms and stood defensively. “Stop talking and do something about it. Ain’t that what you said you were sick of people doing? Talking with no action.”

  “This is so uncalled for.” Chase dropped her fork on the plate. “These damn men in here need to grow the fuck up.”

  Yes, I was irritated, so I tore into her. “Bitch, who you talkin’ about? You don’t have nothin’ to do with what’s goin’ on between them, but you had to throw me up in the mix. Get the fuck out of here with that grow up bullshit. Grow yo ass up.”

  Jada rushed into the kitchen. She tried to open the silverware drawer, but Jaylin blocked her. “If you find a knife, you’d better know how to use it,” he said.

  They argued over him blocking the drawer, and Chase quickly got after me. “I’m not going to be another one of your bitches. From what I gather, you already have one who got your sensitive-ass tripping. Leave me the hell alone and go somewhere and find another joint, weed-wacker.”

  I tried to be the better person here, but that didn’t always work for me. Ladies I respected. Hoes with smart mouths were on my chopping block. But instead of putting my hands on Chase, I smacked her plate off the table, causing it to crash on the floor. The shattering glass caused Jada and Jaylin to stop arguing. They looked to see what was up.