Blazing Fear

by Leisl Leighton

  He wasn’t there now though. She had to be thankful for that, because the man had hawk’s eyes, rarely wasting words that didn’t need to be spoken, just watching. Watching. He would have noticed the fact she was a little more than flustered. Reid and Barb were too caught up in their friendly bantering over cooking methods to notice her behaviour, although one of them was bound to notice if she tipped the jug of ice-cold water Nat had just placed on the side table all over herself. Damn. A cold drink would have to do—and not the one Flynn was bringing out.

  Fanning herself, she poured herself a full glass of water, and sculled it down. It wasn’t enough to dampen the fire still burning inside her. Her hands were still tingling and shooting out sparks from when they’d slid over his naked, hot, wet chest. Oh god. That was bound to play in her hot and sexy dreams for years to come as the main feature. It had been bad enough when she’d simply touched that golden breadth of chest when they’d kissed, felt just how hot his skin was, how hard the muscles were, how crisp the light sprinkle of chest hair was against her fingers. Now she’d seen it, it was one hundred times worse. Just picturing him was likely to give her an orgasm on the spot. Or a sexually-frustrated induced aneurism. She wasn’t sure what would be worse.

  She fanned herself again and poured another water, forcing herself to drink it more slowly, letting the iciness shiver down her oesophagus. Still not enough. Desire heated her skin, making her prickle, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Not without calling unwanted attention to herself or making Flynn aware of just how much he affected her.

  ‘Okay, the kids are set up playing computer games on the TV for now,’ Nat said as she walked out the sliding glass door. ‘I’ll get Reid to set them up with popcorn and the movie after we’ve had dinner. Flynn’s getting them drinks and then will bring ours out. I thought long G&Ts all around to start with and then we’ll have some sparkling later to cheers your birthday.’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ Prita said, trying not to let her relief show that she was given a few more minutes reprieve before she had to see Flynn again. A few more minutes to get under control and hide this absurd reaction. Because it was. Absurd. As was her inability to deal with it clinically. It was simply chemicals in her brain and endocrine system making her feel like this. It wasn’t emotional—not in any true sense. If she simply treated it like any medical problem, surely she could find the solution.

  As that was unlikely to occur right now, ignoring it was the best option.

  ‘A bit hot, are you?’ Nat was standing beside her at the table, the now empty jug in her hands.

  ‘Yes.’

  Nat smirked and shook her head sadly. ‘Well do I know the impact of that kind of hot.’ Her gaze flickered to Reid and back and she waggled her eyebrows.

  Prita snort-laughed. ‘Yes, well, I don’t have that issue.’

  ‘Pity. You don’t know what you’re missing out on.’

  If it was anything like the way she felt when Flynn was around, she didn’t want it. ‘I really appreciate you throwing this little party for me.’

  Nat waved her hand. ‘Don’t be silly. That’s what friends are for. I only wish you’d let us throw you a bigger party.’

  ‘This is perfect.’ And then, she was telling Nat what she’d told Barb, something she’d never talked about with anyone before, but suddenly had the urge to share with this woman who’d become such a good friend. She told her about losing her mother, the devastation of that and then being sent away to live with her mother’s family who she’d never met, the culture shock of it, the way she’d never felt like she’d fitted in.

  Nat’s expression of interest melted into sympathy. ‘Oh god. No wonder you don’t want a big birthday party. I’m sorry if we’ve made things awkward for you.’

  ‘No.’ She grabbed Nat’s hand. ‘This is good. I need to be able to show Carter that bad things happen and you can’t let them affect the rest of your life. This is part of that.’

  Nat squeezed her hand. ‘He’s so lucky to have you.’

  ‘I’m the lucky one.’ They smiled at each other.

  ‘So, is it just birthday parties you dislike? Tell me we haven’t been forcing you to endure party after party this last year and a half?’

  Prita laughed. ‘Not at all. I’ve actually enjoyed the parties you throw, which is kind of weird as I used to hate all parties. My Indian family never did things in a small way and with the size of the family, it meant there was a party nearly every second weekend for someone’s birthday or anniversary or religious event. I hated every single one because not only did they force me to go, it felt like they were parading me around to show what a good family they were, taking me back in after they’d practically disowned my mum when she ran off and married my dad.’

  ‘Did they? That’s horrible. I can’t imagine disowning Tilly over anything that she’d done, especially something as basic as being with the person she loved.’

  ‘I know, right? But for them, she’d done the unspeakable. She’d been engaged to a good Indian boy—a son of family friends in Calcutta. She broke off the engagement when she met my dad, which was bad enough, but then she went and ran off with him and got married without permission or them even being invited. My grandparents never forgave her for that. They thought when I was sent back to live with them, I could be her redemption.’ She shuddered. ‘Instead of making me want to embrace my culture though, it did the opposite. I was a bit of a shit, actually.’

  Nat laughed. ‘I can’t imagine that.’

  Prita’s lips quirked. ‘It’s true.’ She frowned. ‘They made me bend though, which made me resent them even more.’ She shook her head. ‘The sad thing was, I was curious about them and my Indian heritage when I was younger and loved to hear the stories Mum told me—more than she perhaps wanted to tell them. It really hurt her when they cast her out for following her heart.’ She frowned and looked down at the table, realising she’d torn a paper napkin into shreds. ‘Sorry, I’m making a mess.’

  ‘No.’ Nat put her hand over Prita’s. ‘Don’t be sorry—about the napkin or telling me. I’m glad you did. I can’t believe we’ve never really talked about it before.’

  ‘Talked about what?’

  She started as Flynn came up behind her, a tray of glasses in his hands.

  Heat enveloped her, immediate, relentless.

  No. No. She couldn’t let him do that to her. Cool. Ice. Snow. A blizzard in Antarctica. She filled her mind with those thoughts and turned, a smile on her face she hoped was more convincing than it felt.

  His eyes darted down to her lips, stayed for a moment before jerking away to Nat who was reaching for the tray as she said, ‘Drinks! Gimme, gimme.’

  ‘My wife, the lush,’ Reid said, voice full of love as he slipped his arms around Nat from behind and kissed her on the neck, nuzzling her a little.

  Her face lit up in a way that made Prita’s heart thump hard in her chest, the longing in her so hard and sharp that she had to clamp her mouth shut over a gasp. She’d never wanted that kind of relationship. Ever. She’d never wanted to be tied to one person in that way that made her compromise what she wanted and who she was. So what the hell was this about? Probably some left over ridiculousness from her reaction to Flynn and Kissmageddon.

  It was ridiculous. She was a serious doctor and mother and that was what she wanted. All she wanted.

  Right. Good. Now that was decided she could forget the longing and Kissmaggedon and the sexy boxer shorts and touching his chest and just enjoy this evening as a proper, staid doctor and mother should. And plan at some later stage to talk to him about the issue and moving on from there.

  But before she did that, she’d need a drink. She took a tall glass covered in condensation from the tray Flynn was holding, enjoying the coolness of it in her hands, wishing she could rub it over her face, her body. Instead, she clinked her glass against Nat’s and Barb’s.

  ‘Happy Birthday,’ they both said, a world of understanding in their eyes.<
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  Blinking rapidly, she took a large swallow of her drink.

  ‘Mmm, love the lime,’ Nat said, sipping on hers.

  ‘It is good,’ Barb said.

  ‘Prita likes it that way.’ Flynn gestured at her with the tray.

  ‘So do I now.’ Nat turned to Reid. ‘We must get more limes. And tonic.’

  ‘And gin if you three are going to be drinking these from now on.’ He took her drink and sipped. ‘Not bad. Although, I’d prefer a beer. What about you, Flynn? I’ve got some in the outdoor fridge here.’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  ‘Should I get one for Mac too?’

  ‘No. He said he wouldn’t be down tonight,’ Barb said. ‘Ben’s heading back to Melbourne on Monday and they wanted to have dinner, just the two of them.’

  Ahh, so that answered where he was.

  ‘I can’t believe Ben’s in the final year of his course,’ Nat said. ‘Does he still want to come back here and practice?’

  Barb nodded. ‘Pat has offered him some part-time work at his vet clinic and then I think he’s going to try to get some other work in the area, build up his rep and clientele and restart CoalCliff Vet Clinic when it’s time.’

  ‘I didn’t know you had your own clinic,’ Prita said.

  ‘We don’t,’ Flynn said, his voice hoarse. ‘It was Anna’s.’

  ‘Oh.’ She wasn’t sure what to say after that. She’d never known Flynn to volunteer information about his wife, except for what he’d said about still loving her after Kissmaggedon. She looked at the others for guidance. They were obviously stunned too.

  Flynn didn’t seem to notice the awkward silence as he continued. ‘The vet clinic was her pride and joy. Part of it was burned in the fires, but Ben’s intent on building it again.’

  ‘Oh.’ Could she sound anymore inane? But nobody else was coming to the rescue. ‘You’re okay with that?’

  ‘Of course.’ Flynn looked surprised as he shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Anna helped him in his interests to become a vet.’

  Reid returned then and handed Flynn a beer. ‘What are we talking about?’

  Flynn took a deep swallow of his beer. ‘Anna. Her clinic and Ben’s plans.’

  Reid shot a surprised look at his wife. ‘Okay,’ he said slowly. ‘Why?’

  ‘Prita didn’t know Anna had a clinic at CoalCliff. I was just explaining that Anna used to take Ben out on calls when he showed interest in becoming a vet.’ He smiled softly. ‘She gave him part-time work and told him half the business would be his if he came back to practice with her when he finished his studies. He’s never forgotten and wants to rebuild her practice to honour her and the special relationship they had.’

  ‘Oh,’ was all she managed to say. Completely and totally inadequate.

  Then Reid said, ‘So, it’s okay to talk about Anna now?’

  Flynn’s gaze jerked to Reid, his brow furrowed. ‘Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?’

  Reid shot Barb and Nat a look and then back to Flynn. ‘You never talk about her, that’s all.’

  ‘Yes, I do.’

  ‘No, you don’t. Not even with Aaron.’

  ‘What? Of course I do.’ Flynn looked confused, shocked. ‘Of course I have. I would never … Aaron knows all about his mum. How important she was.’

  Reid shared looks with Barb and Nat again. ‘Of course he does.’ He sighed. ‘I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.’

  ‘Well, good. Aaron loves his mum.’

  ‘He does. She was a special woman.’

  ‘Yes. She was.’

  Silence fell again until Reid—thank god for Reid—said, ‘We’re going to have to replace the brush jump damaged by the fire this afternoon, but I wanted your opinion on it, Prita, given you’re the one who uses the course the most.’

  ‘Fire? What fire?’ Barb asked.

  ‘The one in the gymkhana paddock,’ Reid said slowly, shooting Flynn a look as if asking him to explain. Except, Flynn’s face had gone curiously blank. ‘Mac and Ben caught it this morning. Someone had set a campfire and hadn’t put it out properly.’

  ‘Driver going through the fence, my foot,’ Barb muttered then sighed. ‘Okay. Well, can I ask you to deal with it? Flynn’s got a lot on his plate at the moment.’

  ‘I can deal with it, Mum,’ Flynn said, seeming to snap out of wherever he’d gone to at her words.

  ‘So can Reid. You don’t need to worry about everything. He is your business partner.’

  ‘I can do it,’ Reid said.

  Flynn’s jaw squared. ‘So can I.’

  Barb’s brow furrowed and she reached out to touch his arm. ‘Let him do it, son.’

  He looked like he was going to argue, but then simply nodded. ‘Fine. Reid can deal with the bloody burned jumping fence.’

  Prita looked at Nat and Reid to see if they had noticed how weird this conversation had got. They were sharing a look and then Reid said to Barb, ‘How do you reckon the Doggies are going to go this year?’

  Barb turned her attention from Flynn and smiled at her grandson. ‘Pre-season is looking to be a killer. Although, I think they’ve got a chance with the solid line up from last year and a few of the new recruits look promising.’

  Nat rolled her eyes. ‘Agh! Not football.’

  ‘We could talk cricket,’ Barb suggested.

  ‘That’s even worse. Flynn, save me from sport talk.’

  Flynn frowned down at her for a moment and then, on a little shake, he smiled. ‘What would you like to talk about?’

  ‘Anything. What are you going to do with Rebel?’

  He began to outline his plans for breeding, which then turned into a typical argue-discussion between him, Nat and Reid on plans for any of their breeding and training program and it was like the awkward moment of before had never existed. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe she’d just imagined something awkward because she was expecting it. It wouldn’t be her birthday celebration without something bad happening. Maybe a bit of awkward conversation was all she had to worry about tonight. A person could dream, right?

  Barb excused herself just then to go and check on the meat and before Reid could join her and start arguing again, Nat said, ‘Flynn, can you and Reid move the table from the wall and take care of setting it while the birthday girl and I finish our drinks?’

  ‘Sure.’ He moved off with Reid.

  Nat sighed happily as they lifted the heavy table and manoeuvred it into the middle of the space. ‘I love watching my man being all manly. Look at that play of muscle.’

  Prita was looking at a play of muscle, but it wasn’t Reid’s. Flynn was wearing shorts and a soft blue t-shirt that skimmed his hips, drawing her eyes to his bum and then down his long legs to the thongs on his feet. He had nice feet. Big feet—long and strong. And by the package she saw clearly delineated in his Rudolf boxers earlier, the old adage about feet was true when it came to him.

  Oh for god’s sake! Stop it! She went to take another big gulp of her drink but it was empty. Damn it.

  Nat laughed. ‘Tough day?’

  ‘Not really. It just slipped down so well.’

  Nat took the glass from her and picked up the empty water jug. ‘Let me get you another one and fill this jug up again. Come with me and help me bring out the salads? Barb, can you run interference between those two idiots over there while we’re gone? Who would argue about the best way to order the chairs around the table? Men!’

  ‘Right-e-o,’ Barb said, the smile on her face indicating she wasn’t so much going to run interference as just stay there and enjoy the idiocy.

  Prita was happy to follow Nat back inside to grab the salads. Sounds were coming down the hall from the rumpus room where the kids were—the roaring of engines and circus-like music playing under the cries and chatter of children enjoying themselves. ‘Should I go check on them?’

  ‘They’ll be fine. Mario Kart is hardly dangerous and they all know to make sure Aaron doesn’t jolt his shoulder. They’ll look after him.’
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  ‘I know. Carter was quite concerned.’

  ‘He’s a lovely friend.’

  ‘He’s lucky to have Tilly and Aaron. They have made such a difference for him. Nearly all the other kids began to accept him because they did. I don’t think they understand just what they did for him.’

  Nat smiled. ‘That was more Aaron’s doing than Tilly’s. She was in the same boat as Carter when they came here. I think she was just happy to meet someone who was as on the outside as she was—it helped them to bond. Then they got carried along in Aaron’s wake.’

  Prita laughed. ‘He has quite some wake.’

  ‘I know. And lucky for them. Friends are so important at that age. I know if I didn’t have Flynn when I moved here with Mum, things would have been so different for me. He was my rock.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Of course.’ Nat sighed and turned to face her, hand paused in the act of pulling the cling wrap off a bowl of couscous salad. ‘I can’t pretend I haven’t noticed things are strained between you and Flynn. It’s been building for months, but it’s been particularly bad since your house warming. Please don’t think I’m being nosy—although I totally am—but what happened? You kissed, didn’t you?’

  ‘What? No … I …’

  Nat laughed. ‘I knew it. Reid owes me a pineapple.’

  ‘You bet over this?’

  ‘Clueless male that he can sometimes be, he was certain nothing was going on between you. But Barb and I saw the sparks the first time you met.’ She put a hand on her hip, her brow furrowing a little. ‘What happened? Wasn’t it any good? I have to say, that kind of surprises me.’

  ‘No. It was amazing.’ Oh good lord, why had she said that? She checked behind her to make sure the kids hadn’t come out of the rumpus room, or worse, Flynn hadn’t come in from outside.

  Nat’s smile crooked up at the corner as she went back to prepping the salads. ‘Now that doesn’t surprise me.’