The First Touch of Sunlight

by Len Webster

  Sam bent down and picked up his pants and shirt. After they had made love for the second time, and he saw the exhaustion in her eyes, he had gone to his Jeep and turned it and its lights off. He had asked if she wanted to lie inside his car, but she had much preferred the outside.

  Last night, they had made this one place in the world a beautiful one.

  They had cleansed it of all the painful almost-drowning moments.

  They had made it a secret garden of where they had loved each other.

  Showed each other their love in their intimate connection.

  This was where they loved so naturally.

  So freely.

  Once Sam had put his clothes on and buckled his belt, he shoved his hand in the pocket and took out his keys. He stared at them before developing a smirk on his face.

  “Meredith,” he said, gaining her attention as she picked up her shoes.

  “Yes?”

  “Wanna drive?” he asked with excitement.

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  She tilted her head at him. “Are you sure you trust me to drive your car?”

  He nodded.

  “I might crash it.”

  “My asshole father bought it for me, so no big deal.”

  Meredith stepped forward, and he dropped the keys into her waiting hand. “Okay. I’ll drive us to the Bear Hunt, but I might need your help navigating.”

  Sam chuckled as he quickly put on his socks and then his shoes. He picked up the blanket off the ground and took her high heels from her with a smile.

  She couldn’t drive in them.

  There was no way.

  He watched Meredith run towards his car and unlocked it. Sam rushed over to the passenger side and opened it just as she had gotten into the Jeep. Then he slipped inside, dropping her shoes on the floor next to her clutch and throwing the blanket on the backseat.

  Meredith clicked the seat belt in place as she set her hands on the wheel. “The indicator is on the …” She eyed the steering wheel.

  Sam held back a laugh, trying to be serious, and pointed at the indicator. “It’s on the right.”

  “Great,” she said as she set her fingers on it. “Hey, have you noticed that you have …” Her voice trailed off.

  His brows bunched together, unsure as to why her face paled.

  Then Meredith reached into the compartment near the indicator and pulled out a small photo.

  Beth’s sonogram.

  He didn’t know what to say.

  His heart had solidified and then fallen from its place in his chest to the pit of his stomach. He lost feeling in his fingertips as Meredith let out a strangled breath of air.

  She sounded as if she were struggling to breathe as she stared at the sonogram.

  Then he watched tears slide down her face. Her hands trembled. “This is why you can’t be with me?”

  Her small voice broke him.

  He was speechless.

  Unable to find the right words to comfort her.

  This was the moment Meredith Driessen had found out that he was an expecting father.

  “Is her baby yours?”

  No.

  He could tell her the truth.

  That it wasn’t.

  But he promised not only himself and Beth but also the baby that he would be his father.

  “It’s mine,” Sam replied.

  Meredith nodded, her thumbs brushing against Beth’s name on the sonogram. Then she returned the picture of his son to the compartment she had taken it from. She breathed out heavily, removed her seat belt, and then opened the car door.

  He watched as she got out, went around the car, and pulled the passenger side door open. Meredith picked up her shoes and clutch from the floor then shut the passenger door. She bent down, and Sam quickly peered out of the window to see her set his car keys on the grass.

  Then she turned and began to walk away from the Jeep.

  Sam scrambled to get the door open, and after some struggle, he opened it. He bent down and picked up his keys. He pivoted to see Meredith make her way out of the reserve.

  “Meredith!” he screamed after her.

  But she didn’t stop.

  She didn’t hesitate as she put distance between them, leaving him by his car, and the spot where they had spent the night making love.

  He felt as if his heart had been fractured into a tiny million pieces and then thrown into a fire pit.

  Those pieces turned to ash.

  Pieces of his heart became non-existent.

  Meredith finally knew the truth.

  chapter thirty-two

  MEREDITH

  Present

  During her drive to Sam’s house, she felt her hands shake. Tonight would be their first date. Just the two of them. She had given him her new phone number before he had taken Josh and Beth to get ice cream on Thursday.

  Samuel Michaels still loved her.

  She believed him when he said he did.

  Believed it in his voice and in the way his eyes glazed over.

  She believed that he was in love with her.

  Meredith tightened her grip around the wine bottle’s neck. She wasn’t sure what particular wine to get. When she had asked the gentleman at the bottle store, he had asked her what meal she was having. She told him that she had no clue, that she needed a wine that would go with anything. That was how she had spent seventy-five dollars on a bottle of Penfolds Bin 407 Cabernet Sauvignon.

  She wasn’t even sure how to pronounce it.

  All she knew was that it was an Australian wine and that the man who served her probably hustled her to fork over more money for a brand than a simple wine.

  Peeking down at her outfit, she sighed. It wasn’t overly sexy—and definitely didn’t scream seduction—but it felt like her. The soft blue dress was tight around her chest and flowed out at her hips. Her strappy matching heels made her outfit just dressy enough for a date. As nervous as she was, she was excited. This was a date with Sam. He had never taken her out on a date. The first time they were supposed to have dinner together was on her eighteenth birthday, but he hadn’t shown. And she got no call from him. It had been demoralising to sit there for an hour, waiting for him. Almost two weeks later, the morning after formal, she had found out that he had gotten Beth pregnant. Led Meredith on for so long and was quiet about the fact that he was an expectant father.

  Shaking her head, she knocked on his front door. Meredith had to put the past in a nice little box and keep it shut. She was starting new with Sam. She was giving him a proper chance. Although some would say she was stupid for being Samuel Michaels’ emotional doormat, Meredith knew that this time, it felt right.

  Hearing the door unlock had her straightening her spine. She hadn’t meant to, but she had also held her breath. Sam opened the door and gave her the perfect sight of him. He’d brushed his brown hair back, and he wore leather dress shoes to match his black pants and light grey long-sleeve buttoned shirt.

  He even wore a dark grey tie.

  He was handsome.

  Far more grown up than the eighteen-year-old she had loved.

  “You look beautiful,” he said in awe.

  She blushed at his overgenerous comment. “You look very handsome, Sam.”

  “I tried my best,” he said with a shrug and opened the door wider for her.

  Meredith stepped into his home. Last time she was here, she hadn’t really taken in Sam’s single story house. The walls appeared an off-white colour, and in the hallway, picture frames lined the wall. Meredith glanced over to her right to see the huge entertainment area, which had two large couches and an armchair. There were bookcases full of books on the far end wall with two chairs. One was a wingback chair. The other a small armchair with a Captain America plush on it
. She knew it was Josh’s.

  The sight was cute.

  She imagined Sam sitting in the larger seat as Josh sat in his.

  It was hard to imagine him without the six-year-old. When she had found out he was about to become a father, she hadn’t believed it. It took her that weekend to comprehend it. In the end, she had decided to support him. But that decision would later backfire on her.

  “Are you hungry?” Sam asked, interrupting her line of thought.

  Meredith nodded and handed him the wine. “I wasn’t sure what you drank.”

  Sam inspected the bottle, and his eyes widened. “This is an expensive wine. Too fancy for the pasta I cooked.”

  “We don’t have to drink it. I’m fine with water. I’m not much of a drinker.”

  He reached for and then held her hand. “Come on,” he said, leading her down the hall and to the rest of the house.

  Meredith’s jaw dropped. The kitchen was gorgeous. It was large with cream marble tops and white wooden cabinets. Any woman would fall in love with this kitchen, as it was large enough to entertain any party. Meredith set her handbag on the bench. A twinkle caught her eye, and she noticed the dining table. Two plates were set out with beautiful candles next to them. Vibrant sunflowers lay on the table near the plates.

  She raised her brow. “Sunflowers?”

  “When you were eighteen, I bought you a bouquet of them for your birthday,” Sam explained.

  She froze at the mention of one of the most disheartening nights of her life. He had let her down. Disappointed her. Made her look and feel foolish. As if he could tell that something had affected her mood, he squeezed her hand and led her to the table. Sam let go of her and held out her chair.

  Meredith let out a small laugh as she sat down and he tucked her in.

  “Now, don’t be expecting an amazing gourmet meal. I’m not that great of a cook. Trust me, I had to call my mother for pointers,” he admitted.

  She peeked up at him to see that his cheeks had turned a sweet pink colour. He was embarrassed to admit that to her.

  “What did you make?”

  “Chicken, pesto, and pine nut pasta,” he said as he walked up to the stove. Picking up a pot by its handles, he headed back to the table.

  His hands shook as he dished up their plates of pasta. Meredith glanced down to see the pesto covered pieces of chicken. It looked delicious and smelt phenomenal.

  “Do you want some of the wine you brought?” Sam asked once he had returned to the stove and set the pot on it.

  “No, just water will do. You can invite Phil over when he’s back from Daylesford and drink it with him,” she teased.

  “Ha-ha,” Sam deadpanned. Once he had filled their glasses with chilled water from the fridge’s water dispenser, he placed them down on the table then sat next to her. He let out a small sigh that she was sure he had tried to hide.

  Meredith reached over and grasped one of his trembling fingers. “Hey. You have nothing to be nervous about,” she said. “It’s me, Sam.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah,” he said unbelievably. “It’s you, Meredith. I have every reason to be nervous. I’m trying to give you the perfect date … I’m just scared that I’ll screw it up.”

  “You’re doing fine,” she encouraged. She smiled up at him as she reached for the fork.

  After they had finished their meal, Meredith was full. The food Sam had prepared was amazing. He’d cooked the chicken and pasta to perfection. And the pesto hadn’t been overwhelming. He had outdone himself. She helped him wash and put away the dishes until his phone had beeped and he’d gone into his office to answer it.

  That had been several minutes ago, and Meredith had sat at the dining table staring at the beautiful sunflowers.

  “Sorry, that was Beth,” Sam stated as he stepped out of his office.

  “Is everything okay?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, Josh is out cold. Her parents took him ice skating in the city.”

  “He would have loved that,” Meredith said.

  Sam walked across the lounge room until he sat back next to her. “Tonight has been amazing.”

  “It has,” she agreed. They talked about Josh, Phil, Margot, and about how his mother was. They spoke about almost everyone but themselves.

  “I’ve been meaning to give you something,” he revealed.

  “Oh?”

  Meredith watched as Sam stood up from the chair, reached over, and picked something up from behind the sunflowers. She had been staring at them for the last few minutes and never noticed it. He let out an exhale and set the box down in front of her.

  “Happy eighteenth birthday, Meredith,” he said with a nervous expression on his face.

  Meredith set her fingers on the box. “Eighteenth?” She flipped the box open to find a silver sunflower pendant on a silver chain. In the middle of the sunflower was a round yellow gem. Meredith’s heart warmed at his thoughtfulness and generosity. “Was this my eighteenth birthday present?”

  Sam carefully picked up the necklace and stepped behind her. He secured it around her neck properly then freed her hair, returning to his seat seconds later. Meredith’s fingers shot up and gently touched the necklace.

  He nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Why a sunflower?” she asked, her fingers gently tracing the gem.

  Sam’s cheeks heated. “The first time I saw you …” He paused and then cleared his throat. “You looked my way the first day of high school. All you did was smile, and you had me. Then you spun around to walk away, and you had this sunflower in your hair. It was as bright as your smile. I should have given you that necklace all those years ago.”

  Meredith reached out and covered his hand with hers. It was time she had answers for that night. “Then why didn’t you show? You can tell me.”

  His shoulders sagged as if a weight had been lifted from him. “I was parked outside of the Nove, ready to have the best night of my life. But then I got a call …” He paused for a second. “It was Beth’s father. She’d fallen down the stairs and ended up in the hospital.”

  “Oh, my God,” she breathed.

  She had hated him for not showing up.

  Meredith had thought he had stood her up.

  Instead, he had rushed to be by the side of the mother carrying his child.

  Guilt weighed down her chest as she found it impossible to breathe. She had hated him that night. Hated him for letting her down. He could have lost his son that night. And the thought killed her. Josh Michaels’ infectious smile affected her. Meredith pulled away from him and then covered her face with her palms.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” she said softly, her voice cracking. She lowered her hands and gave him an apologetic smile. Meredith got out of her chair and stood in front of Sam, her fingers pressed against his jaw. “You should have just told me. I’d have understood.”

  “I know,” he whispered as his fingers wrapped around her wrists and moved her hands off him so he could stand. “I’m sorry that I missed your birthday, and that I’m seven years late giving you your present.”

  She let out a soft laugh. “You don’t have to be. It was an emergency. If you’d have stayed with me, I would have hated myself.”

  “God, I love you,” he admitted breathlessly as he grasped her arm and tugged her so their lips could meet in a kiss.

  In a matter of seconds, her arms were around his neck, holding him close. Never wanting them to be divided again. Never wanting another seven years to keep them at a distance.

  Sam pulled back, his breathing as laboured as hers. “Stay with me tonight?”

  “Yes,” Meredith answered.

  Then it became a blur.

  He grasped her hand and quickly led her towards his bedroom. Once inside, he kept the light on, and they shed their clothes so fast, she could have chuckled. Their de
speration was laughable.

  The last time they made love, they took their time.

  This time, they were desperate as passion fuelled them.

  The way he had her naked and on her back on his bed had her breathless. It wasn’t just desire that consumed his eyes.

  It was love.

  He wanted to cherish her.

  Sam’s naked body covered hers as he licked and nipped her neck, causing the tension in her to grow. Desperate didn’t begin to describe her want for him.

  She needed him.

  His quick movements were replaced with slow, calculated placements of his lips and tongue on various areas of her body.

  From her collarbone.

  To the valley of her breasts.

  To each nipple.

  Lower.

  Even lower.

  He pressed a lingering kiss just below her belly button.

  Meredith’s heart hammered in her chest as she got on her elbows to watch him dip his head south. His breath fluttered over her core, and she let out a shaky breath of air.

  His hands were on her thighs as he widened her legs, revealing herself to him. Meredith swallowed hard as his eyes found hers. Then his wet tongue ran across her slit, leaving pleasure in its wake. She wanted to close her eyes, wanted to take in the pleasure he gave her, but his eyes on her kept her focused.

  The tip of Sam’s tongue found her sensitive spot and traced circles, causing her to fall onto her back. She gave up trying to watch him. Instead, she closed her eyes, and her hands reached down and grasped the back of his head.

  Her breathing were gasps as he licked her.

  Sucked her.

  Softly bit her.

  She’d never been more turned on in her life.

  Pleasure stacked.

  Higher.

  And higher.

  Her body was hot all over as she held him to her.

  Then she felt his finger slowly enter her.

  “Oh, God, Sam,” she moaned as her back bowed.

  He murmured something, and his tongue flattened against her. Her toes curled as another finger entered her and began to pump. Her hands retreated from Sam’s head to grasp the bedding.