A Gift of Grace

by Amy Clipston

  The dairy farm had been passed down through Sadie’s family. The white clapboard house was larger than Rebecca’s. Its vast three stories sprawled across the front of the property, while one large white barn and three smaller barns sat behind it, housing their livestock and farming supplies.

  A newly painted white split-rail fence outlined the large pasture, and Sadie’s gardens, her pride and joy, ran the length of the enormous house.

  “You’re a part of this family, Jessica.” Rebecca touched her niece’s shoulder. “I wasn’t going to let you stay home alone while we went out visiting. That’s just not right.”

  Jessica gave a sarcastic snort and folded her arms across her chest. “Yeah. I’m family. That’s rich.”

  “Jessica.” Rebecca stared into her eyes. “You’re my family. You and Lindsay are precious to me. I know you don’t believe it right now, but I love you both. I want you both to consider this your home. Please just give everyone a chance.”

  Jessica looked as if she was going to give a surly response, but then she closed her mouth. Rebecca wondered if she’d finally gotten through to her.

  “We’ll go visit for a while and then we’ll head home. It’ll be fine.” Rebecca touched her older niece’s shoulder. “Just be yourself. If you’re uncomfortable, stay with me.”

  Jessica flipped her hair back from her shoulder. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

  Lindsay grinned. “That’s the sister I know and love.”

  Jessica snorted. “Whatever.”

  “Where’s Uncle Daniel?” Lindsay scanned the property. “He disappeared awful quick.”

  “He ran inside to get away from me,” Jessica muttered.

  “Now, now.” Rebecca patted Jessica’s shoulder while their shoes crunched up the driveway toward the front porch. “Don’t you worry about Daniel. Things will be just fine.”

  Jessica stopped and studied Rebecca. “He’s not talking to you, is he?”

  Rebecca sighed. She couldn’t tell Jessica the truth and risk hurting her niece or making her feel guilty. “Everything is fine. Sometimes married couples argue. I would imagine your parents argued every once in a while too.”

  Jessica shook her head. “They did, but it wasn’t like this. My father never stopped talking to my mother.”

  “Well, it’s our way. Instead of yelling, some men stop talking.” Rebecca shrugged as if his silence didn’t hurt, even though the pain chipped away at her heart with every passing moment.

  “But it’s been a few days now.” Jessica jammed her hands on her small hips. “It seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah,” Lindsay chimed in. “I’d say he’s being a bit of a jerk.”

  “That’s disrespectful, Lindsay,” Rebecca said.

  Her younger niece frowned. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t worry, girls.” Rebecca balanced the plate of Whoopie Pies in her hands. “We’ll get through this.” She started for the door. “Let’s go in and visit before they wonder if we walked home.”

  They stomped up the steps. When they entered the front door, they were greeted by a group of Kauffman children chasing each other around the living room and screeching.

  “Kinner!” Robert bellowed from a nearby room. “Take it outside, please!”

  The children filed through the living room toward the back door.

  “I see it’s a typical Kauffman family gathering,” Rebecca said.

  They padded to the kitchen, where the women were gathered around the table chatting. Rebecca’s gaze moved to Sadie just as her sister-in-law frowned at Jessica. Irritation bubbled through Rebecca at her sister-in-law’s expression. She wondered what it would take to get Daniel and his family to give her nieces the chance they deserved.

  Pushing the thought aside, Rebecca placed the plate on the table. She then lowered herself into a chair near Elizabeth and patted the chair next to her for Jessica. Her older niece slowly sank into the chair, her expression illustrating that she’d rather be somewhere else.

  Nancy and Katie stuck their heads in the back door, smiles spreading across their pretty, young faces.

  “Lindsay!” Nancy called. “Come outside with us.”

  Lindsay glanced at Rebecca as if asking permission.

  “Go on. Have fun.” Rebecca waved her off. She then turned to Jessica, staring down at the table. She wished the women would speak in English in order for Jessica to participate in the conversation. However, they were gossiping about people Jessica didn’t know, so the conversation wouldn’t have been interesting to her anyway.

  “Chocolate cake?” Elizabeth asked, pushing the plate toward Rebecca.

  “Danki.” Rebecca cut two pieces, slapped them on two plates, and gave one to Jessica before forking a piece for herself.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Jessica studying the cake while slowly eating it. She wondered what she could do to make her niece become a part of the family. If only she could get Jessica to feel like she fit in the way Lindsay did.

  Rebecca savored the moist chocolate cake. When a hand touched her arm, she turned to Jessica.

  “I’m going to go for a walk,” Jessica said.

  “You okay?” She studied Jessica’s sad eyes, wondering how to reach out to her.

  “I need to clear my head.” Jessica pushed her chair back and rose. “I’ll be back.”

  Watching her niece head out the back door, she sighed. She’d give anything to see Jessica smile.

  “Is she doing okay?” Elizabeth asked.

  Rebecca nodded and forked more cake. “She’s fine.”

  Sadie frowned. “That’s not what I heard.”

  “Oh?” Rebecca squelched the urge to tell her sister-in-law to worry about her own children and leave Jessica alone.

  “I heard she was kissing Jake Miller at the store the other night. Apparently she thought the shop was empty, but Eli caught her.” Sadie’s smile was smug.

  “No!” Kathryn gasped.

  Rebecca sucked in a breath, hoping the rumor wasn’t true. However, she couldn’t imagine why Eli would make something like that up. “Maybe it was a misunderstanding,” she said. “It’s easy to assume the worst.”

  “She was kissing a boy, Rebecca.” Sadie sliced her fork through the air like a sword, sending confetti made of crumbs and icing sprinkling down onto the table. “I think it’s easy to assume what was going on. It seems to fit her after she was prancing around the yard in that little bikini top and shorts.”

  “Jessica is a good girl. She’s just trying to find her place in our community.” Rebecca kept her voice calm, despite the anger boiling within her.

  Sadie snorted with sarcasm.

  Rebecca narrowed her eyes. “I believe she needs our love and understanding instead of our judgment, Sadie. Didn’t we discuss this? Remember—be faithful in prayer?”

  Sadie’s frown deepened. “Ya, I remember. But I’d say she’s past praying. She’s out of control and needs a stronger hand.”

  Glancing around the table, Rebecca found the expressions of all varying degrees of surprise.

  “No one is past praying,” Elizabeth said, her gaze fixed on Sadie. “Everyone deserves a chance. We all need to give each other patience and love. Remember the Scripture of Romans 3:23: ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.’ ”

  “You’re right, Elizabeth,” Sadie said with a nod. She cleared her throat and then turned to Sarah. “Sarah, how have you been feeling? Did you go to the doctor yesterday?”

  While Sarah discussed her latest doctor’s appointment, Rebecca cut her eyes to Elizabeth and smiled. Elizabeth nodded. She was lucky to have her on her side. She hoped Elizabeth’s words would break through Sadie’s negative thoughts about her niece.

  Jessica hummed to Nickelback singing through her iPod while sauntering through the field behind Robert’s house. She kicked a stone and wondered how long she was going to have to endure these tedious family gatherings.

  She’d tried calli
ng Trisha earlier, but she’d gotten voice-mail. She hoped Trisha had found a lawyer and initiated the paperwork to change the guardianship. Jessica wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay sane under the microscope of the community.

  Glancing across the field toward the four large, whitewashed barns, she spotted Lindsay talking and laughing with Nancy and Katie.

  She frowned. Her sister looked so in her element and so comfortable in the traditional dress. She wondered why Lindsay fit in as if she’d been born here, but Jessica felt like an outsider.

  “Jessica.” A voice behind her startled her from her thoughts.

  Turning, she faced Samuel, Robert’s oldest son. His eyes twinkled in the late afternoon sun.

  “Hi,” she said, yanking the buds from her ears.

  “Having fun?” He folded his arms across his wide chest.

  “Yeah. Tons.” She glanced over at her sister and sighed. At least her sister was having fun.

  “You like kittens?” he asked.

  Cutting her gaze to him, Jessica lifted her eyebrows in question. “Kittens?”

  “Ya, you know, little cats. Haven’t you ever seen a baby cat?” He smiled, and his handsome face lit up, accentuating that cute dimple in his right cheek. He had the trademark Kauffman powder blue eyes and fair skin.

  She laughed, relieved to finally meet a Kauffman with a sense of humor. “Yeah, I’ve seen kittens before. Why do you ask?”

  He nodded toward the barns. “One of our barn cats just had a litter a week go. Wanna see them?”

  She studied him, wondering if his motive was to reach out to her or if she was being set up to make another mistake.

  His smile faded. “I guess it was a dumb question. I thought maybe you were bored.” He started toward the barn.

  “Samuel!” She trotted after him. “Wait.”

  He stopped and faced her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Change your mind?”

  “Yeah.” She smiled. “I’d love to see the kittens.”

  “Gut.” He smiled, and the dimple reappeared in his cheek. He was adorable.

  They fell in step on the way to the largest barn. The animal stench assaulted her senses while she followed him past a row of horse stalls. Horses snorted greetings as their shoes crunched the dry, yellow hay.

  When they reached the back of the barn, tiny peeps and cries rang out. Samuel dropped onto the floor, folding his long legs under him. He moved a pile of hay, revealing a large black and white cat nursing six multicolored kittens. The peeping grew louder as the kittens staggered around their mother.

  “It always amazes me how kittens sound like babies,” Jessica said, sinking onto the floor next to him.

  “Ya. They do.” He gently lifted a tiny orange kitten and held it out to her. “Want to hold it?”

  “Sure.” She cradled the baby cat in her hands and rubbed its velvety soft fur. At the sight of this new life, a strange warmth and calm flowed through her. “What does life have in store for you, little one?”

  “I would imagine he’ll have a full life consisting of living in the barn and scrounging for food.” Samuel nuzzled a multicolored calico.

  Jessica frowned. “Scrounging for food? That sounds so sad.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. The cats all eat good around here. No one starves on this farm.” He cut his eyes to the mother cat. “Right, Galilee?”

  “Galilee?” she asked with a grin.

  “Don’t blame me,” he said. “My little sister named her.”

  “I always love their pretty coats,” she said, studying the peeping kitten. “When I was a kid, I used to say that God had fun with colors when He designed cats. As if they’re His canvas, and He paints their coats with creative colors.”

  Samuel laughed. “I like that.”

  Jessica grinned and turned her attention back to the kitten. “I wonder if Aunt Rebecca would let me take a kitten home. I’d love to have a pet. My dad was allergic to cats, so we never had one.”

  “I bet you miss your mamm and dat.”

  “Yeah, I do.” Jessica sighed, glancing over at him again.

  “How do you like working in the shop with my grandfather?” He returned the kitten to its family. Then he bent his long legs, resting his elbows on his knees.

  She shrugged. “It’s okay, I guess.”

  “I wanted to go work for him, but my dat needs me here to help run the farm. There’s always plenty of work to do.” He gestured around the barn.

  “That’s a shame. You should be able to do what you want.”

  He shrugged. “Ack, it’s okay. Farming is never boring.”

  Jessica lifted the kitten up and nuzzled its tiny head against her cheek. “So soft. Like velvet.” She then gently put it back next to its siblings. “Be a good kitty and mind your mama.”

  Samuel snickered.

  “Samuel!” a voice boomed.

  Samuel jumped to his feet. “Sounds like my dat.” Reaching out, he took Jessica’s hand and lifted her to her feet.

  “I need your help outside,” the voice snapped.

  Jessica turned to see Robert frowning at them. She let Samuel’s hand go and brushed the hay from her jeans.

  “Now,” Robert said, his eyes boring into his son.

  “Yes, sir.” Samuel followed his father through the barn and out the door.

  Jessica frowned and fished her iPod from her pocket. So much for having someone to talk to.

  “Did you have a nice time today?” Rebecca asked Jessica while they walked up their front steps later that evening.

  Jessica shrugged. “It was okay. Not as bad as I expected.”

  Rebecca longed to ask Jessica about kissing Jake, but she wasn’t sure how to broach the subject without causing Jessica to shut down. Jessica wrenched open the storm door, and Rebecca reached out and clasped her arm.

  “Can we chat for a minute on the swing?” Rebecca asked.

  “Why?” Her niece eyed her with suspicion.

  Rebecca shrugged. “We never get to talk. We’re always so busy.”

  Her niece’s brows knitted with suspicion.

  “Please. Just for a moment.” Rebecca motioned toward the swing. “Have a seat.”

  Jessica sank into the swing and stared out over the field.

  “Pretty night,” Rebecca said, lowering herself into the space next to Jessica. “At least the humidity broke a little.”

  “What is it that you want to talk about?” Jessica asked. “I’m sure it’s not the weather.”

  “I wanted to ask you a question.” Rebecca took a deep breath, wondering how to bring it up. She said a silent prayer that she wouldn’t cause more distance between them.

  “Please just spill it,” her niece said.

  “I heard something earlier, and I wanted to ask you if it was true.”

  Her niece frowned.

  Rebecca touched Jessica’s hand. “No matter what, I’m on your side.”

  “My side?” Her niece’s frown deepened. “What have I done wrong now?”

  “Don’t get upset. I just wanted to talk to you about something that came up when I was talking with the other women.” She glanced toward the door, hoping Daniel and Lindsay were out of earshot. She didn’t want anyone to hear them or interrupt. “Sadie mentioned that Eli saw you kissing Jake. Is it true?”

  Jessica clicked her tongue and made a sweeping gesture with her hand. “What is it with you people? Why is it that everything I do is the latest news?”

  Rebecca reached for her, but Jessica moved out of range. “I’m not accusing you. I just want to know the truth.”

  “Well, the truth is that Jake kissed me.” She scowled and smacked her thigh for emphasis. “There. Now you know. Are you happy?” Her tone cut Rebecca like a knife.

  Speechless, Rebecca just nodded.

  “And if you want to know the whole truth, we both decided it was a mistake. So, nothing happened. Got it?” Her niece rose. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Jessica! Wait.” Rebecca followe
d her to the door. “I’m not accusing you of a crime. I just wanted to know if it was true.”

  Her niece faced her. “It is true. I’m a teenager. I’m going to make mistakes. Letting my good friend kiss me was a mistake, but I don’t think I should be ripped apart in the latest Bird-in-Hand gossip.”

  “No one is ripping you apart.” Rebecca touched Jessica’s cheek. “I just wanted to know what really happened so I can set straight anyone who mentions it.”

  Jessica shook her head. “I don’t get you people. You claim to be such wonderful Christians, yet you’re the most two-faced people I’ve ever met.”

  Rebecca frowned. “We don’t claim to be wonderful at anything. We all make mistakes, and we all need God’s help to be better Christians. We strive to be like Jesus, and it’s an impossible task.”

  Jessica shook her head. “I wish that everyone would just leave me alone to live my life. I can’t wait to get out of here and go back home. I hate it here.” She yanked the door open and stomped into the house.

  Rebecca sank back into the chair and stared out over the dark field while regret washed over her. She should’ve kept the gossip to herself. She’d managed to push Jessica even farther away.

  Elizabeth’s words echoed in her mind. Rebecca was trying so hard to listen. Why wasn’t it working? What was she supposed to hear?

  Closing her eyes, she prayed that God would help her find the way into Jessica Bedford’s heart.

  6 eggs, separated

  3/4 cup powdered sugar

  1 cup flour, sifted

  3–1/2 tsp anise seed

  Beat egg yolks until thick. Beat egg whites stiff and combine with egg yolks. Gradually add powdered sugar and mix lightly. Sift flour and add egg mixture together with anise seed. Drop from teaspoon onto greased cookie sheet, about 1 inch apart. Chill in refrigerator overnight. Bake at 300 degrees for 10 minutes.

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  Aunt Rebecca,” Lindsay said, sidling up to her in the kitchen of the bakery the following Monday, “I have a great idea to share with you.”