A Gift of Grace

by Amy Clipston

Memories flashed through Jessica’s mind like lightning. It all came back to her—her arguments with Lindsay and Aunt Rebecca, walking to Jake’s house in the rain, boarding the bus, and finding Brian and Morgan together.

  Jessica licked her dry lips and rubbed her throbbing temple. “How’d you find out I was here?” Her voice croaked.

  “Morgan called your aunt at the furniture store. Before they left Lancaster County, Rebecca called me and asked me to come to the hospital and stay with you until she can get here.” Trisha held her hand. “Your family is worried sick about you.”

  Jessica closed her eyes while regret rained down on her. She shouldn’t have left without telling them. She was wrong to do that to Lindsay—and also to Rebecca.

  “Brian and Morgan are in the waiting room,” Trisha said. “Do you want to see them?”

  Jessica shook her head. The last thing she needed was to see those two liars. How dare they make a fool of her by saying they were her best friends and then cheating behind her back!

  “I didn’t think so.” Trisha gave a weak smile. “Morgan told me what happened and admitted they’ve been seeing each other behind your back.” She shook her head with a disgusted expression. “They should be ashamed of themselves.”

  “Can you help me sit up?” Jessica asked.

  “Sure.” Her aunt pushed a button, and the bed creaked while lifting Jessica to a sitting position.

  A nurse stepped into the room. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m sore,” Jessica whispered. “My head feels like it’s going to explode.”

  “This should take the edge off.” The woman handed Jessica a small plastic cup with two pills in it.

  Jessica swallowed the pills and sipped some water. “Why does my foot hurt so badly?”

  “You broke your ankle in three places.” The nurse took the cup. “You’re going to be sore for quite a while.”

  Jessica leaned back in the bed and moaned. A broken ankle. She wondered how she was going to get around. What a nightmare. She should’ve just stayed in Bird-in-Hand. No, she didn’t belong there.

  Where did she belong?

  “If you need anything else, just let me know.” The nurse smiled. “My name is Kelley.”

  “Thanks,” Jessica said.

  “Why don’t you close your eyes for a while? Lindsay and Rebecca won’t be here for a few more hours.” Trisha rubbed her arm again. “I’ll be here with you.”

  “How are they getting here?” Jessica asked. “Are you picking them up at the bus station?”

  Trisha shook her head. “Jake is driving them.”

  “Jake?” Jessica asked.

  “Yes.” Trisha raised her eyebrows. “Who’s Jake?”

  “A friend.” Jessica’s cheeks heated. “We work together at the furniture store.”

  “I guess he isn’t Amish if he drives a car, huh?” Trisha’s grin widened.

  “No, but his grandfather is. His grandfather and Aunt Rebecca’s father-in-law own the store.” Jessica scanned the room for her purse. “If you can find my purse, I can show you a photo of him.”

  “You carry a photo of him?” Trisha opened the closet and pulled out her purse.

  “Not exactly.” Jessica took the purse and pulled out the new phone. “Jake gave me this for my birthday, and it has a camera in it.” She pulled up his photo and handed the phone to Trisha. “I took his picture at my party the other night.”

  “Wow.” Trisha grinned. “He’s very handsome.” She glanced at Jessica. “He bought you this phone for your birthday? He must really like you.”

  “I told you we’re just friends.” Taking the phone from Trisha, she glanced at Jake’s image. She missed him already. How silly was that?

  “Jake seems like a very nice young man,” Trisha said, putting the purse back in the closet. “That means a lot that he’d drop everything and drive your aunt and sister here to be with you.”

  Nodding, Jessica closed her eyes.

  “I bet he’d treat you better than Brian,” her godmother said.

  “We’re just friends.” Jessica yawned. “I think the pills are working. I’m so tired.”

  “You get some sleep,” Trisha said.

  Fading off to sleep, Jessica wondered when Jake would be there.

  Rebecca stared out the window while Jake steered his pickup truck through the streets of Virginia Beach. Her mind raced during the long ride from Lancaster County. She contemplated the situation over and over again with Daniel’s and Jessica’s words echoing in her mind.

  Guilt mixed with regret poured down over her like the big, sloppy drops hitting the windshield and windows of the truck.

  Rebecca wished she’d stopped Jessica from leaving. She never should’ve left Jessica on the porch with Lindsay. If Rebecca had paid more attention during the gathering, she could’ve gotten Jessica to talk to her instead of running away.

  She glanced over as Jake steered onto another busy highway. Virginia Beach was the complete opposite of Bird-in-Hand. Instead of beautiful rolling farmlands and lush pastures, the area was overgrown with close-knit neighborhoods and businesses. Claustrophobia gripped Rebecca at the thought of living in such a densely populated area.

  The wet pavement glistened under the bright streetlights. According to what Morgan had told Jake, rain had played a part in the accident. If it hadn’t been raining, the truck wouldn’t have swerved to avoid that fallen branch, and it wouldn’t have hit Jessica after she’d stumbled into the street.

  Her stomach twisted at the thought of Jessica in a hospital bed and injured from the accident. Rebecca hoped Jessica wasn’t in pain, and she prayed Jessica wouldn’t require surgery. She’d sent up multiple prayers that her niece would recover well and be able to come home soon.

  Home. Sighing, she wondered where home should be for Jessica.

  If Daniel had his way, Jessica’s home would be here in Virginia Beach. Daniel hadn’t said a word to Rebecca before they departed for Virginia.

  Although she was angry with Daniel, his last words to her still haunted her. She couldn’t help but wonder if he were right. While she was disappointed in her husband as well as in the rest of the community for not giving Jessica the patience she needed to adjust to their culture, she also wondered if it was time to let her go.

  The thought caused her eyes to fill with tears and her heart to ache. Grace had relied on Rebecca to give the girls a good home. However, the home only seemed to agree with Lindsay.

  Rebecca reflected on Jessica. The girl had said she was like her mother, and she needed to go back to her English life. Perhaps she was right, and making her stay to endure a life she hated was a mistake. She wondered if Jessica should leave as Grace had.

  Elizabeth’s words rang through her mind. Rebecca needed to open her heart and listen to God. She needed to hear her husband. She needed to listen to Jessica.

  Had Jessica been telling her the answer all along? Had Rebecca been too focused on her own needs to listen?

  Closing her eyes, Rebecca sent up a prayer. She asked God to give her the answer. What had He been trying to tell her? Her heart and her ears were finally open to His Word.

  Should she let Jessica live the life she yearned for in Virginia Beach or force her to live where she would be unhappy?

  “This is it. Turn here,” Lindsay said, breaking through Rebecca’s thoughts.

  The truck bounced into the parking lot of Sentara Princess Anne Hospital, and Rebecca’s stomach twisted. She hoped Jessica was okay. She couldn’t wait to give her a hug and tell her how much she loved her. All that mattered was that she was going to be fine, despite running away and the accident.

  “Just park anywhere,” Lindsay said. “The lot is always full.”

  “You used to come here often?” Jake steered into a space near the back of the lot.

  “I’ve been here a few times,” Lindsay said, leaning over into the front seat. “It seemed like I always had a friend in the hospital for something a while back. My one f
riend had her appendix out, and another friend’s older sister had a baby here. It’s a nice hospital. Good doctors.”

  “That’s good to know,” Rebecca said.

  They navigated through the lot, parked, and walked into the hospital lobby. A nurse at the front desk directed them to Jessica’s room.

  Rebecca’s stomach churned while they moved through the bustling hallway to the room. She trailed behind Lindsay and Jake, feeling uncomfortable in this strange environment. Rebecca hadn’t been to a hospital since her father passed away ten years ago.

  They approached the door, and Jake knocked.

  Trisha opened the door, and gasped as her eyes fell on Lindsay. “Lindsay!” She wrapped her arms around her. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “You too.” Lindsay hugged her neck.

  “Let me look at you.” Trisha held Lindsay at arm’s length, her eyes wild with surprise. “You’ve become Amish?”

  Lindsay smiled, her cheeks turning a bright pink. “It helps me feel close to my mom.”

  Rebecca smiled, tears filling her eyes. She was so proud of Lindsay. She hoped Jessica would find where she belonged just as Lindsay had managed to do.

  Trisha hugged Lindsay again. “You look lovely.” Trisha glanced beyond Lindsay. “You must be Jake.”

  “Hi.” He nodded. “How is she?”

  “She’s okay.” Trisha nodded. “She took a little nap, and she’s feeling better. They’re going to release her tomorrow.”

  “That’s wonderful.” Rebecca breathed a sigh of relief.

  Trisha gestured for them to come into the room. “She’d love to see you.”

  Jake and Lindsay entered the room, while Rebecca stayed behind.

  “Rebecca?” Trisha asked, her eyebrows knitting in question. “Is something wrong?”

  “I was wondering if we could go somewhere and talk.” Rebecca fingered her apron while taking a deep breath.

  “Sure. There’s a waiting room just down the hallway.” Trisha nodded and closed the door to Jessica’s room.

  Rebecca followed her down the short hallway to a small, empty room filled with chairs. A woman on the flat screen television screen hanging in the corner announced that the temperature would reach a sweltering one hundred and four degrees tomorrow.

  “Can I get you a drink?” Trisha offered. “There are snack machines just around the corner.”

  “No, thank you. We stopped for a drink when we got to town.” Rebecca lowered herself into a chair near the back corner of the room.

  Trisha sat across from her. “So, what’s on your mind?”

  Rebecca took another deep breath, mustering all the strength she had left after the long, draining six-hour ride. “I’ve been doing some thinking about the girls.”

  “Oh?” Trisha asked, raising her eyebrows.

  “While Lindsay has adjusted well to our lifestyle, Jessica has struggled. I love them both dearly, but I’m starting to wonder if what’s best for Lindsay isn’t the same as what’s best for Jessica.” Rebecca paused and glanced at the television, which featured a commercial for a car.

  “Are you saying that Jessica should stay here?” Trisha asked.

  “Ya.” Rebecca cleared her throat in hopes of stopping the lump swelling within it. “I want you to know that I haven’t come to this decision easily. Jessica is having a difficult time fitting in. She’s broken a few rules, and unfortunately some in our community have gone to our bishop to complain about her.”

  “What did she do that was so awful?” Trisha asked with a scowl.

  “She shared her music with my niece Katie, and music isn’t allowed in our community. She weeded my garden on a Sunday. Work isn’t allowed on Sundays, and she was wearing a bikini top and shorts.”

  Trisha covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know that isn’t funny.”

  “It’s okay.” Rebecca gave a weak smile. “She was seen kissing Jake and was caught alone with my nephew Samuel in a barn. I’m sure the encounters were innocent, but our community requires scrupulous adherence to the rules. The complaints were brought to Jessica’s attention, and I know it has hurt her. Jessica has always felt alone, even though I’ve assured her that she has my support and love.”

  Rebecca paused to wipe her eyes and swallow the sobs caught in her throat. Saying the words out loud hurt more than she expected.

  “I’ve tried to tell Jessica that I want her to stay no matter what. But even if she obeyed all the rules and the community accepted her, she would not be happy. She is so like my sister, Grace—so full of life and adventure. She needs more than we can offer her at home. With her running away, I see that forcing her to stay was very selfish of me.” She wiped more tears. “I know that you had tried to get custody of the girls.”

  “I did, but the lawyers told me I had no rights to them.” Trisha’s smile faded. “I’m sorry I did that behind your back.”

  “It’s okay. Your reason for doing it was understandable.” Rebecca absently clasped her hands. “Would you consider allowing Jessica to stay with you?”

  Trisha gasped, and Rebecca met her shocked expression.

  “Yes,” Trisha whispered. “I would be honored. I’ll take good care of her.”

  Rebecca forced a smile, even though her heart was crying with the regret in her soul. “I want you to promise to have Jessica come visit us.”

  “Of course.” Trisha nodded with emphasis. A concerned look overtook her face. “What about Lindsay?”

  Rebecca sighed. “I’d prefer to keep her with me, but I’ll let her make that decision. I don’t want to separate the girls if they prefer to stay together.”

  “Of course.” Trisha nodded.

  “I guess we better tell them.” Rebecca stood. “Thank you.”

  “No.” Trisha rose and hugged her. “Thank you.”

  Closing her eyes, Rebecca prayed she’d made the right decision.

  [Return to Table of Contents]

  Rebecca stood in the doorway of the hospital room and watched Jessica smile at her sister. Jessica’s skin was pale, and her dark hair framed her face, making her look like a china doll she’d seen in the gift shops back home.

  “Go on,” Trisha whispered. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

  Jessica met her gaze, and the girl’s eyes welled with tears. “Hi.”

  When Rebecca stepped into the room, Jake rose from his chair next to the bed and gestured for Rebecca to sit.

  “Thank you.” Rebecca sank into the seat. “Hi,” she said to her niece. “How are you feeling?”

  “Kinda sore.” Jessica licked her lips. “I’m sorry for running off. It was thoughtless and stupid.”

  “I’m sorry too,” Rebecca said. “I was wrong to not listen to you and see what you really needed.” She clasped Jessica’s hand. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You gave us quite a scare.” She squeezed her hand. “Trisha and I wanted to talk to you about something.” She cut her gaze to Trisha, who nodded.

  “Lindsay.” Trisha fished her wallet from her purse and handed Lindsay a few bills. “How about you and Jake go get a snack?”

  “Oh. Okay.” Lindsay shot Jake a confused expression.

  Trisha walked Lindsay and Jake to the door and explained how to find the snack machines. After they left, she closed the door behind them.

  “Are you guys having an intervention or something?” Jessica asked, looking between Rebecca and Trisha.

  “No, not an intervention, but we need to talk.” Trisha sank into a chair on the other side of the bed from Rebecca.

  “I’m in trouble, right?” Jessica sighed. “Look, I’m really sorry. Running away was immature and stupid. I never should’ve—”

  “It’s okay.” Rebecca patted her niece’s arm. “That’s not what we want to discuss with you.”

  “Oh.” Jessica’s eyes simmered with confusion. “So, what’s going on?”

  “I spoke with Trisha, and she said that she’d be happy to have you live w
ith her.” Rebecca held her breath, again praying she was making the right decision.

  “What did you say?” Jessica whispered, an expression of disbelief overtaking her pretty face.

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about you and how unhappy you’ve been.” Rebecca sucked in a breath as tears again threatened her eyes. “I want what’s best for you and your sister, and forcing you to live somewhere that makes you unhappy is not what’s best for you.”

  Tears shimmered in Jessica’s eyes. “You’re going to let me move in with Trisha?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

  “If that’s what you want, then that’s what I want.” Rebecca rubbed her arm. “I love you, Jessica. All I ever wanted was what was best for you and what would make your mother happy. I don’t think Grace would want you to be unhappy. And I don’t think that’s what God wants either. I haven’t been listening to what’s really His will. Daniel has been trying to tell me that it isn’t right to force you to live by our rules, and I wasn’t listening. I’ve only heard what I wanted.”

  Rebecca pushed a dark lock of hair back from Jessica’s face. “Besides, you look just like your mother. I need to let you go like I had to let her go.”

  “Thank you,” Jessica whispered, tears spilling over her pink cheeks. “Thank you so much.”

  Rebecca nodded as her own tears began to fall.

  “I’m so sorry for all the trouble I caused,” Jessica said, swiping her tears from her cheek.

  “Don’t you worry about anything,” Rebecca said. “Just promise to be good and also visit me as often as you can. I’ll send you a bus ticket.”

  “Thank you, Aunt Rebecca.” Jessica squeezed her hand. “I love you.”

  Rebecca’s heart warmed. Jessica had finally called her “aunt,” and she finally said that she loved her. Leaning down, she gave her niece a warm hug.

  Jessica then turned to Trisha. “Thank you too.”

  “You just get better.” Trisha rubbed her shoulder. “Then we’ll get your new room set up.”

  “Will you send my things?” Jessica asked Rebecca. “I really want my quilt that you gave me.”

  “Of course,” Rebecca said.