Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  “It’s almost still the weekend… but fine, where am I going?”

  “We have heard a rumor of a supervillain organizing a new team of super–powered thugs. We think it might be linked to the Psychic Psycho, and we want you to investigate. You will have to pretend to be a villain, though.”

  Jenny wiped the sleep out of her eyes and floated out of bed. She checked her hair in the mirror and looked for her shoes.

  “That… that actually sounds fun. Okay, where is this thing going down?”

  Two hours later Jenny was floating over a seedy bar in downtown Mudlock, a domed city on the moon with a bad reputation.

  “I’ve never been off Earth before, this is cool,” Jenny said.

  The bright Earth hung above her, lighting up the crystal frames that surrounded the city and kept it in the air. The streets below Jenny were poorly lit and crowded with people in cloaks and masks who kept to the shadows as they carried out their illegal business. It was easy to tell who the locals were, because the Lunar natives were a head and shoulders taller than the Earthlings.

  “My first undercover mission,” Jenny said excitedly.

  She pulled a plain pink mask over her face, drifted down to street level, and became visible again. She was dressed in a simple red jacket with a hood, and black pants.

  “Go into the Rotten Star and see what you can learn,” said Voice over her earpiece. “We will have to cut the phone out for now, so be careful.

  The Rotten Star was a run–down pub advertised with a flashing neon sign, and had been voted as the worst bar in Luna several years in a row. It was the kind of place that Jenny had always been warned against. The room was already half–full with superhumans whose character was dubious and dress sense was even worse. Most wore grubby cloaks that hid their faces, but a few wore outlandish clothing that marked them out as true and unrepentant villains. Jenny recognized a few minor villains from TV, but there were no famous faces in the crowd. A lot of people were wearing masks, which was unusual for lesser villains who generally enjoyed being recognized. Jenny touched her own mask a little self–consciously.

  Jenny spotted Rex sitting in the corner of the bar and walked over to sit down next to him.

  “Hello,” she said as she sat down.

  He nodded, but said nothing.

  “My name is Lady Smash,” she said.

  It was the first name that came into Jenny’s head, so she went with it. She reached out her hand, but he didn’t shake it. Villains never do.

  She turned the shake into a gentle punch on Rex’s arm.

  “I’ve never heard of you,” he said.

  “You may not have heard of me yet, but one day you will be boasting to all your friends about that time you bought Lady Smash a drink. Lemon–flavored.”

  Rex shrugged and waved at the bartender.

  “Drinks. Lemon–flavored,” he said.

  A minute later a skinny Lunar waitress brought two lemonades over and plonked them down. The lemonade was flat and looked a little greasy. Jenny took a sip and then spat it back out into the cup.

  “Yuck! So much for Lunar hospitality. Never mind. So… do you have a name?” she asked.

  “Rex Rogue. Thief,” he replied.

  Rex was a little distracted. He was watching as new villains walked in and seemed to be counting.

  “Nice to meet you, Rex. I’m the muscle, I guess,” Jenny said.

  Rex looked at her for a long second, and she blushed slightly.

  “Muscle?” he asked doubtfully.

  “Sure. Point me at anyone and I’ll take them down. Don’t let my good looks and charm deceive you, I’m actually a stone cold villain!”

  Rex smiled. He had a great smile, and it made Jenny’s heart jump a little.

  “Good looks, charm, and a stone cold villain? I can see that you and I have a lot in common,” he said.

  “Yeah! You know, this villainous speed dating is really working for me,” Jenny said.

  Rex winked at her and was about to say something more when Steel Samantha walked into the room and banged loudly on a table, denting it slightly. A couple of her gothic sidekicks took up positions beside her and glared at the rowdy villains in the room.

  “My name is Steel Samantha! Everyone shut up!”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: DUKE TERROR NEEDS YOU!

  Learn how to use a holographic recorder and you can be in two places at once.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  “Everybody sit down!” ordered Steel Samantha.

  People stood up to see who it was, then sat back down again with an expectant air. Everyone had heard of Steel Samantha.

  “Some of you know that I have recently started working for Duke Terror, who was Master SCREAM’s protégé. Duke Terror is recruiting a special team, and he wants some of you on it,” she said.

  “What’s the mission?” someone yelled out from behind Jenny.

  “Theft and mayhem, same as usual. We are looking for people we can trust with more important work soon, so this mission is an opportunity for you unknowns in the audience to prove yourselves to us. Now shut up and listen to my boss!”

  A holographic display of Duke Terror’s face appeared in the middle of the room. The villain’s mask loomed larger over his audience, frightening a few of the weaker villains.

  “Greetings, fellow evil doers!” the hologram boomed dramatically, “My name is Duke Terror. For those ignorant few who have not heard of me, I previously served as Master SCREAM’s first assistant. It was I who planned the Alcatraz prison break three years ago, and I who stole the legendary Ruby Eye gem from Chaotica. I served my master well, but his time has passed and I have emerged from his shadow to cast my own darkness across this world. I ask you now to rise to my cause, to serve me and make yourselves rich. The work will be dangerous, but those of you who meet my expectations will be greatly rewarded. One day soon I shall rule this world, and you may either be standing beside my throne or crushed beneath it!”

  The hologram was a recording, of course, no-one in the bar except Rex knew that. Everyone in the bar was looking at the holograph with eagerness, fear or doubt – everyone except Rex, who was staring at the crowd, and Jenny who was staring at Rex. Occasionally Rex made a few notes on the small computer he wore on his wrist.

  “This guy is great, really villainous,” Jenny whispered to Rex.

  “Thanks,” said Rex with a small smile.

  “What?” asked Jenny.

  “I mean… what?”

  Duke Terror stopped talking and his picture faded away. The room immediately in shouting. A tall guy in a black trench coat stood up and threw a glass through the holographic display. His name was Hammer, and he was a small time crook and arms dealer.

  “This is space dust! This Duke Terror guy isn’t real!” he shouted.

  “I’ve met him,” said Steel Samantha calmly.

  “Yeah? Well, where is he then? I reckon this whole thing is a setup by the superheroes!” yelled Hammer.

  A lot of the established villains in the room were agreed with Hammer, but they figure discretion was better than stupidity and most left quietly without causing a scene. Rex nodded in approval as he counted them exiting. The room was still half fill, and Jenny noticed that the people who wanted to hear more were the ones in masks similar to hers.

  “And who are all these so–called villains in masks? I think they are spies!” shouted Hammer loudly, waving at the room.

  “I’m not wearing a mask… but you’ll need one if you don’t shut up!” threatened Steel Samantha.

  “Yeah! Let her talk!” shouted someone.

  “Tell us your master plan, Duke Terror!” yelled a woman in a mask.

  Rex laughed to himself and rolled his eyes at the arguments. Hammer was too slow to realize that he was fast losing friends.

  “Duke Terror isn’t real! He isn’t! This is a set up by the superheroes!” Hammer insisted.

  Rex leaned towards Jenny.


  “I dare you ten credits to punch this guy out,” he whispered.

  “Done! Hey, you!” yelled Jenny.

  She grabbed Hammer and picked him off the ground. He hit out at her, but she didn’t even feel his blows. She punched him once and knocked him out and then threw him out of the bar door. Rex Rogue started clapping, and the rest of the room joined in. There were no more arguments after that.

  “There has been enough talk. The job will take five hours and pay a thousand credits. Additional danger money will be provided if necessary. There is a clipboard going around for those who are interested,” said Steel Samantha.

  A few in the crowd whistled eagerly. Rex turned to Jenny and raised an enquiring eyebrow. She nodded and smiled.

  “Lady Smash and I want in on this deal,” Rex Rogue said loudly.

  “Yeah!” said Jenny eagerly, because being a villain clearly paid better than working as a hero.

  Rex and Jenny were quickly joined by a dozen more villains keen to get rich quickly. Steel Samantha stopped talking and appeared to be listening to something in her earpiece. She nodded in understanding and addressed the crowd.

  “Okay, everyone, I’ve just heard that superheroes from the Lunar Six team are on the way to break this meeting up. I suggest you make yourselves scarce.”

  The villains who could fly floated out of the windows and the rest pushed towards the doors. Sirens started wailing nearby, and the rush on the doors became a chaotic crush. Jenny was about to leave when Rex put a hand on her arm and shook his head. Within a few seconds Jenny and Rex were the only people left in the bar.

  Rex jumped over the bar and grabbed a new bottle of lemonade. He poured a glass for himself and another for Jenny. It was much better than the stuff they had been served earlier.

  “Aren’t you worried?” asked Jenny.

  “Why?” asked Rex in surprise.

  “Because of the superheroes! What’s the plan to escape?”

  “We don’t need one. The superheroes will be so busy chasing the others that they probably won’t even come in here. We just use the distraction and walk out when we want to. Works every time.”

  The words were barely out of his mouth when a pair of superheroes burst into the room.

  “Almost every time, I mean. Hello, officers,” said Rex with a smile.

  “You two are under arrest!” one of the superheroes yelled.

  “Why, what have we done? We’re just innocent tourists,” lied Rex.

  “Then why is she wearing a mask?” demanded one of the superheroes, pointing at Jenny.

  “Yeah, that is a fair point,” admitted Rex.

  Before anyone else could move he pulled out a freeze ray from his jacket and froze the two superheroes in place. Jenny laughed as the heroes stopped moving. She knew the ray wouldn’t hold the heroes long, but it was still funny to see.

  “Works every time?” Jenny asked.

  “Most of the time it works every time… and when it doesn’t, freeze rays are a great backup plan.”

  Rex finished his drink and threw the glass at one of the frozen superheroes. He rummaged through the bar’s cash register and passed a few hundred credits to Jenny who pocketed them with a smile.

  “I suppose we better get out of here,” she said.

  “Can I get your number first?” Rex asked with a wink.

  They parted ways as the superheroes unfroze, and Jenny teleported into the sky above her house and flew down through her window and into her room.

  CHATER FIFTEEN: MAD ROBBO AND THE OUTBACK RANGERS

  The second best thing your enemies can be is deeply confused, and the very best thing they can be is working for you without realizing it.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  As soon as Rex got back to his command room he removed his colored contact lenses and changed his jacket from silver back to its regular black. In a second had he transformed from a minor thief back to, supervillain extraordinaire.

  “How did it go, boss?” Slade asked.

  “It was okay. There was a girl there called Lady Smash who had some potential.”

  “Potential?” asked Slade with a smirk.

  “Whatever. It was a work event, not a date. Anyway, Steel Samantha has a list of people I want you to get in contact with.”

  Slade frowned unhappily.

  “Yeah… about that. We were watching the meeting from here as you ordered, and Skyre and I agree that it was absolutely packed with superheroes pretending to be villains. There were barely any real villains there, and most of them didn’t sign up. It seems like every superhero team in the world tried to infiltrate this recruitment.”

  “I would hope so, I did my best to get them interested,” said Rex with some satisfaction.

  “What? Why?” asked Slade in surprise.

  “Do I need a reason to mess with the superheroes?”

  “No, but you always have one,” said Slade.

  “True. That little soiree was partly to raise my profile as a supervillain, but also serves a less vain purpose. I now have a team of superheroes pretending to be villains. These superheroes will do anything to keep their cover, even commit a few crimes, if they think it will get them closer to finding out Duke Terror’s plans.”

  “Huh. A team of tame superheroes to do your bidding. Nice,” said Slade.

  “If it works.”

  Rex pulled on his mask and strode into his command room. Steel Samantha and a few technicians were gathered around a computer map.

  “What’s going on there?” asked Rex, pointing at a glowing red dot on the northern border of Newtopia.

  “The Crimson Monk and his crew are trying to expand their territory. This is a good opportunity for him because most of Newtopia’s superheroes are busy dealing with a pack of enormous mutant lions in the south,” said Steel Samantha without interest.

  Rex’s phone started ringing, but he ignored it and stared at the red, frowning slightly.

  “Hmmm… no, I don’t approve. Steel Samantha, why don’t you take a crew of our best down there and suggest to Crimson that he keeps his red face away from Newtopia.”

  “But you don’t have any operations in that area!” she protested.

  Rex spun towards her and glared, forcing her to take a step back.

  “Are you questioning me, Steel Samantha? I have given you a command – do not make me repeat myself.”

  “Yes, Duke Terror,” she muttered, and started to leave the room.

  “And Samantha… stop by the armory and have them organize an oak mace for you. The Crimson Monk has a particular weakness to oak.”

  “Excellent,” she said, and left.

  “She’s right, though,” said Slade. “We don’t have any activity in Newtopia at the moment. We never do. You have all kinds of heists and smuggler deals all over the world, but never in Newtopia.”

  “That you know of,” said Rex.

  The truth was that every member of the League of Supervillains had grown up in Newtopia, and they all had fond memories of their homeland. They never discussed their lingering loyalties, but if the League had a fifth rule it would have been ‘be nice to Newtopia’.

  “Are you going to answer your phone?” asked Slade.

  Rex pulled his red phone out of his pocket and glared at it. It was still ringing, so he flicked it open.

  “What? Yes, I saw that. Don’t worry, I’ve taken care of it. No, I won’t be coming myself; I have more important things to do right now.”

  He snapped the phone shut.

  “Right. Now, where’s Mad Robbo?”

  Mad Robbo was eating steak in the cafeteria. The room was busy, but he had a table to himself. It was covered with plates of rare steak that Robbo attacked with one of his huge hunting knives. A couple of waiters stood nervously nearby, ready to replace or remove the empty plates. The waiters fled when Rex entered the room in his Duke Terror costume, and within seconds everyone had cleared out except Rex and Mad
Robbo.

  “I radioed for you to come to me, yet here you are,” said Rex threateningly.

  “It’s grub time, bossman. Good feed, this. Sit down and eat some.”

  Rex never ate in public – he encouraged his minions to think that Duke Terror never ate at all. In reality, however, Skyre fetched him meals to eat in his study. Rex didn’t mind Mad Robbo prioritizing his lunch over obeying orders, but Duke Terror couldn’t allow such disobedience.

  “Do you like your steak rare?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I like it–”

  Flames shot out of Rex’s jacket sleeve, incinerating the steaks and melting the plates. Mad Robbo pushed his chair backwards as the flames grew larger, consuming the whole table while Rex watched impassively.

  “You can eat later, Mad Robbo. In the future you will not keep me waiting.”

  A couple of workers with fire extinguishers ran over and put the fire out. A single steak had miraculously survived the flames. Mad Robbo was about to reach for it when he seemed to change his mind and pulled his hand back. It was a good choice.

  “Okay, boss, okay. So what do you want me for?”

  “You told me you found a Pulsewave controller chip for me,” said Rex.

  “Sure, boss. It was in a secret military research base in the Sahara desert. A real dangerous place. I left some mates out there to scout the place out.”

  “Fine. And are these friends keen for a rumble, Robbo?”

  “Yeah, boss. They are madder than cut snakes and tougher’n my mum’s beef casserole.”

  “Good. Call them up and get one of the jets ready, we are going to steal that chip tonight.”

  “Sure, boss. This should be fun!”

  “And Mad Robbo?”

  “Yes?”

  “Tell your friends, but no one else.”

  “Of course, boss!”

  Rex left the mess hall and went back to his study. He slipped a red metal rod out of his jacket sleeve and onto the ground. It was a one–use flamethrower that Professor Engelmanthing had designed for Rex, and it was still a little warm. Rex replaced it and checked his reflection in the mirror. He adjusted his mask and smiled underneath it. He looked horrifying.