Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  “Nice,” he said.

  Skyre walked in looking even gloomier than ever.

  “Betrayal and heartbreak are the only truths we mortals can know, yet even I am more loath to embrace them as you seem to be. We don’t even know who Mad Robbo is, or his friends, but you are planning on putting your life in their hands!” she said angrily.

  “That was even faster than I expected, Skyre. Did Mad Robbo tell everyone?”

  “You hired me to serve as a shield against the flawed and greedy walking corpses who serve you, and my raven eyes never blink. I never sleep, and I never miss anything.”

  “Right… So you were watching us on the CCTV? I guess that’s what I pay you for. Even you were unknown to me once, Skyre. I need to test Mad Robbo to see if I can rely on him. I’ve already taken the necessary precautions for if I can’t. I’ll be fine.”

  Later that day Rex walked to the hangar where Mad Robbo was waiting for him. They climbed into a two–person superjet and Mad Robbo flew it out of the hangar. Skyre watched them go from a camera hidden high in the hangar, and she wasn’t pleased.

  The superjet arrived near the base a few hours later. Mad Robbo put it down out of sight of the secret base and they jumped out. It was nighttime in the desert, and the area was silent and still. The stars were bright overhead, and the moon floated serenely over the horizon.

  “Don’ be taken in by it, this place is crawling with guards,” Mad Robbo warned.

  Rex turned his mask’s night vision on and the world turned a faint green around him. The mask automatically highlighted red spots that indicated guards or robots – Robbo was right, there were hundreds hiding amongst the rocks. Rex considered the danger of the mission for a second, but didn’t turn back. At the very least he needed to test Mad Robbo’s skills.

  “Lead on, Mad Robbo.”

  Robbo led Rex down into a hollow formed in a ring of stones where his friends, three very large superhumans, were waiting. Robbo’s friends were dressed in faded hunting clothes decorated with crocodile teeth and an impressive assortment of guns, knives and beer cans. They looked like they were just itching to start a fight.

  Rex didn’t hesitate, but walked right up to them.

  “Mad Robbo, do your friends the honor of introducing them to me,” he ordered.

  “Sure thing, boss. Boys, this is Duke Terror. Duke, these boys are ma’ boys, the Outback Rangers. The biggun’ is Shorty, the carrot–top wit’ the axe is Bluey, an’ the one wit’ a face like a horse’s rear is Pretty Boy. A keener bunch of lads you will never meet.”

  “Indeed,” said Rex, not entirely impressed.

  Pretty Boy smiled, revealing broken teeth and a very red tongue. He burped loudly in greeting, and the other two Rangers nodded.

  “And they’re as quiet as a dead mouse, boss. Real silent–like.”

  Rex shrugged; he was more interested in their loyalty than their stealth, but he did like to hire sneaky superhumans when he could.

  “They will serve. Listen now: do as I say and you will be rewarded, but fail me and you will suffer. Do we understand each other, gentlemen?” Rex asked.

  Mad Robbo and his friends had never been called gentlemen before, but they could tell that Rex was serious about his threat. They stood a little taller and tried to look like professionals.

  “Yurg,” said Pretty Boy, and spat a lump of tobacco onto the ground.

  The other two nodded very slightly, which made Mad Robbo smile.

  “They must like you, boss,” he said to Rex.

  “Indeed?”

  “Yeah, ‘cos you ain’t dead yet. Let’s get a goin’.”

  Mad Robbo led the group on a twisting route through dusty ravines and around hugefallen rocks. He stepped quietly but quickly, and Rex struggled to keep up. The Outback Rangers were as quiet as Robbo had promised and the only footsteps Rex could hear were his own. Occasionally Robbo would stop the group as a robotic guard stomped past, but the path he had chosen avoided the guards and traps and made the most of the deep shadows. Before long they were standing on a small hill overlooking a long set of metal buildings joined by walkways. “We go through tha’ ravine to get there,” said the tracker, and pointed at a deep and narrow cut in the rock.

  “Through that ravine,” repeated Rex.

  His voice didn’t waver at all, but his hand started to the controls on his teleport belt. The ravine was full of deep shadows and strewn with large rocks that could have concealed anything at all.

  It was the perfect place for an ambush, and the perfect place for a betrayal.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN: THE HEIST

  You can’t trust anyone, ever. Just think of this as yet another way that being a supervillain prevents you getting lazy.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  “Yeah, that’s the way,” said Mad Robbo casually, nodding into the darkness.

  Bluey and Shorty went first, and Rex followed them with Mad Robbo right behind him. The Outback Rangers moved so silently that they were more like ghosts than humans. Rex could hear his own breathing and the soft crunch of his feet, but nothing else. Rex could see dozens of red dots of guards above the ravine, and he felt sure he would be seen. He was about to suggest a different path when Mad Robbo laid a hand on Rex’s shoulder and stopped him in his place.

  Rex placed his hand on his teleport belt and shook his head.

  “And now I have to find a new tracker,” he whispered in annoyance.

  A huge red robot stepped out the shadows. Mad Robbo pushed Rex behind him and threw a metal boomerang into its skull. He caught the robot as it fell, laying it gently on the ground without a sound. A second robot appeared and Pretty Boy grabbed it and head–butted it so hard that its metal skull smashed into pieces.

  “Bit loud, mate,” said Robbo reproachfully.

  Pretty Boy shrugged.

  “Yurg,” he apologized.

  Everything had happened so fast that Rex hadn’t even had time to react.

  “Did you say something boss?” asked Mad Robbo.

  “Hmmm? No, nothing. I just thought that you were setting a trap for me, Mad Robbo. It is fortunate for you that this was not the case.”

  “I’m mad, not stupid. I’ve heard stories of what happens to people who get on your wrong side. Bad stories, they were.”

  “Yah,” said Pretty Boy, and the others nodded.

  Rex smiled behind his mask; Slade had spent a lot of time and effort spreading the most terrible stories about what happened to people who betrayed Duke Terror.

  “Best we keep moving, boss. Not long now.”

  Ten minutes later they were standing outside a metal door set into the rock. Mad Robbo stood beside it looking pleased with himself.

  “About time,” said Rex, who was actually very impressed with Mad Robbo’s quick work.

  Rex never complimented anyone on their first job. It was a management technique that had served him well and made him the terror of his workforce. Mad Robbo coughed a little apologetically and swore to himself that next time he would be faster.

  “Sorry, Duke Terror. Anyway, shall we break in?”

  The door was locked, but Mad Robbo pulled out a huge crowbar from his backpack.

  “Wait.”

  There was a computer terminal built into it the door. Rex took out a small laptop and flicked it open. He hit a button to dial Code Cutter, and she answered quickly.

  “This is Code Cutt – Ah! Who – or what – are you?”

  “It’s me, Code Cutter,” Rex said, pulling his scary mask aside for a second.

  “Wow, that mask is terrifying! Very cool. What’s up?”

  “I have a favor to ask you.”

  “Where are you, Rex? I have your signal coming in from the middle of nowhere.”

  “Don’t worry about that… I need a door code broken and a building neutralized, can you help?”

  “Yeah. Plug the computer in, then.”

  Rex plugged his computer into the
wall, and two seconds later the high–security door slid open. An alarm rang once and fell silent as Code Cutter’s hacking skills took over the building. The security cameras went dark, and the building was safe for thieves.

  “Nice moves, boss,” said Mad Robbo.

  “Yarg,” said Pretty Boy, and the other rangers smiled.

  “A trifle, nothing more. Get moving.”

  They entered the building and found themselves in a huge underground hall. A large beam blaster containing the Pulsewave controller chip sat in the middle of the room. Dozens of technicians were working on it, and Captain Amazing was floating above them and supervising their work.

  “Damn,” said Rex, and tried to back away.

  Captain Amazing was wearing blue tights and a red cloak. Rex heard the Outback Trackers snicker as Amazing flicked the cloak over his shoulder.

  “Go get th’ chip, boss. We can take ‘im,” said Robbo, drawing a massive knife.

  “This is Captain Amazing, not some lame superhuman stuck on Venus. We should come back later.” warned Rex.

  “Nah, we can take him,” said Mad Robbo confidently.

  “Yargle,” said Pretty Boy, and pulled out a long metal boomerang.

  “Fine. Show me what you can do,” said Rex.

  The Rangers roared eagerly and charged right at Captain Amazing, who turned quickly, caught Bluey and threw him right back into the wall beside Rex’s head. Bluey bounced to his feet and right back into the fight with admirable enthusiasm.

  Rex nodded and touched a button on his jacket. It took the color of the wall behind him, camouflaging him. He ran around the brawl and to the beam cannon and tried to find the Pulsewave controller chip. It was hooked up to a computer with dozens of thin wires that Rex cut with a knife. He pulled the chip free, holding it in the air.

  “Got it! My master plan of world domination is nearly complete!” he shouted dramatically, because he couldn’t help himself.

  “Yeah boy!” shouted Robbo in encouragement as he stabbed Captain Amazing with a hunting knife.

  The superhero shrugged off the attack and flew right at Rex, but Shorty brought him down with a tackle that sent them both flying into the beam cannon, which exploded. Five more superheroes flew into the room by another door and started attacking the Outback Rangers. One of them made a move on Rex, but Mad Robbo brought her down with a bladed boomerang.

  “Woohooo!” the tracker screamed as a superhero punched him in the head.

  Pretty Boy grabbed a superhero and used her as a shield as more superheroes flooded into the room. It was clear that the Outback Rangers were outnumbered, out powered and unlikely to survive. They didn’t seem to care, and they made no effort to run.

  “You guys need to learn when it’s time to leave the party,” Rex said in annoyance.

  He pulled a couple of smoke bombs out of his jacket and threw them into the fight.

  “Oh no, Duke Terror is using death gas! Everyone run before it kills us! Death gas!” he screamed in a perfect impression of Captain Amazing’s voice.

  The superheroes scattered, terrified. Rex grabbed Mad Robbo and dragged him out of the building and back to the superjet. The base exploded behind them, lighting up the night sky like a giant pyre. It occurred to Rex that taking the Pulsewave controller chip out of the beam weapon might have caused the explosion, but he wasn’t worried about it.

  A few superheroes flew out of the burning building, but there was no sign of the Outback Rangers.

  “Don’t worry,” Mad Robbo said, “they’ll be here.”

  Rex shook his head in disbelief, but five minutes later the other three Outback Rangers dropped into the clearing. Pretty Boy was carrying Shorty’s tall body over his shoulder like it was a familiar chore, and Bluey had a long cut across his face. They were very much still alive and, despite their injuries, still smiling. Pretty Boy put Shorty down with surprising gentleness, and Shorty gave Rex a thumbs up from the ground.

  “I did not expect any of you to survive that fight and then the explosion,” said Rex with unusual honesty.

  “He wern so tough… an’ we made the explosion,” said Bluey.

  “Yarh,” said Pretty Boy, and all the Outback Rangers nodded.

  “They like it when things go boom,” explained Robbo cheerfully.

  Rex pulled his list out and crossed the Pulsewave controller chip off it.

  “Excellent work, gentlemen,” he said. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

  “Venus,” said Robbo simply.

  “The jail planet?”

  “Nah, the playground. Good hunting there.”

  “Right. Talking of hunting… have you found what the other thing I need??”

  “Sure, it’s in the Max Plank superhero training facility. Should be easy, bossman. Slice of cake. Want to do it right now?”

  Rex thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. He slipped his mask back on.

  “That is work for another day. Right now I believe you boys deserve steak.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: DATE NIGHT, WITH EXPLOSIONS

  When supervillains have a whirlwind romance, no metaphor is involved.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  A phone rang in Jenny’s room, rudely interrupting her dreams.

  “Go ‘way,” she muttered, and hit her innocent alarm clock so hard that she flattened it.

  The phone, safe on her dressing table, kept ringing. Jenny groaned and half–fell out of her bed as she reached for it. She had spent the whole night watching the epic fight between Steel Samantha and her team of gothic warriors against Crimson Monk and his hundreds of red–robed assistants. The whole battle had been shown on live TV, and Jenny hadn’t been able to look away. She had particularly enjoyed how Steel Samantha had used her trade–mark steel club to knock aside the mad red monks as they tried to set fire to her. The mad monks had greater numbers, but Steel Samantha and her gothic goons bashed through them and right at the Crimson Monk himself who was standing on a bank roof and shooting fire from his fingertips. Superhumans generally followed the person with the strongest powers, so Rex had instructed his team to go for the leaders first.

  The Crimson Monk didn’t seem concerned as Steel Samantha approached him, but then he did claim to be invulnerable.

  “I shall smite you with fire, you heretic, and then I shall cleanse this dirty country with righteous flames,” he screamed.

  Steel pulled a small wooden club from one of the pockets in her trench coat. The sight of the club had an instant effect on the Crimson Monk who backed away nervously with his hands held out in front of him.

  “Wait, wait, wait, is that oak? Can we talk about this?” the Crimson Monk said with sudden fear.

  Steel Samantha knocked him out with the club and showed his body to the camera drone floating overhead.

  “See how easily we destroy those who annoy Duke Terror!” she yelled directly into the camera.

  She led her team of goth goons into one of Rex’s jets and flew off, leaving dozens of confused monks leaderless and unsure of what to do next. A few minutes later Newtopia’s special forces arrived in their armor and started rounding the monks up. A few of the monks tried to fight back, but although the special forces had no powers they were strong, fast, and organized. They took the remaining monks down quickly and without fuss. It hadn’t been too much of a battle without the Crimson Monk’s leadership.

  Jenny had enjoyed watching the fight. What had surprised her – confused her, even – was that she hadn’t been called to help out. The rest of Newtopia’s superheroes had been occupied in the country’s south, so Jenny had been expecting Voice to ask her to help out. She was, after all, an extremely strong superhuman and had been looking forward to punching the Crimson Monk right between his mad red eyes. Instead it had been Steel Samantha who had had that privilege.

  “It’s like we are relying on villains to defend our borders,” Jenny muttered to herself sleepily.


  The ringing of her phone got louder until at last Jenny’s mom walked into her room, flicked the phone open and popped it on the pillow next to Jenny’s face. She poured a cup of water over Jenny’s face and then left.

  “What?” Jenny said, picking up the phone.

  “Report, Jennifer Doom,” Voice said sternly.

  “It’s pronounced Dome… I think it’s Welsh or something. And anyway, you called me.”

  “Indeed. We have decided that Duke Terror’s recruitment drive is not a concern. Your services aren’t required any further for this matter.”

  “You woke me up just to tell me that?” Jenny said in disgust.

  “It is one in the afternoon, Jennifer. You have wasted the best part of the day. Goodbye.”

  Jenny checked her email and her heart lifted – she had received an email from Rex Rogue with a request to team up on a dangerous job that very night: a two–person heist of a very valuable piece of equipment called a transdimensional power fluctuator. Jenny called Voice.

  “I’m going out tonight, so I’ll need to borrow the teleport belt,” she said.

  “Absolutely not. The teleport belts are expensive tools; they are not for your personal convenience.”

  “Sure, but what if you need me suddenly tonight? How can I be of any use if I don’t have a teleport belt?”

  “That… actually makes sense. You may take the belt, but keep us updated regarding your night.”

  “Sure.”

  “I really mean that. Keep us posted, or we will take your teleport belt privledges away.”

  “Fine! What, don’t you trust me or something?”

  “Of course we trust you, Jennifer Doom. Just don’t go anywhere or do anything without telling us first.”

  “Sure. And what does a transdimensional power fluctuator look like?”

  “It’s small but glows very bright. They are quite beautiful but incredibly rare; we have been trying to get our hands on one for a while now. I think that… wait, why did you want to know that, Jennifer?”