Physis (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #4)

by Michelle Irwin

He spun back to me.

  “Lie down,” I directed.

  Complying without question, he rested beside me.

  “I don’t want to stop,” I explained as I pushed myself up. “I just felt boxed in. I can’t be constricted, okay?”

  Beau’s eyes were fixed on mine as I continued my arc to move from his side to straddle his stomach. His hands came to rest on my hips. “I understand, darlin’.”

  “I know you do. That’s why I can do this.” I reached behind me and grabbed his cock.

  He hissed as my hand made contact. The smooth skin of his cock, silky and warm, made my mouth dry but in all the worst ways. The feel of that unique skin against my palm sent my mind spinning to . . .

  I dropped my hold as a cry bubbled up inside me.

  “Dawson, it’s me,” he murmured. The compassion in his eyes was almost too much. “It’s just us.”

  “I-I’m sorry. I just need a minute.”

  While he waited for me to find my peace of mind again, Beau rubbed gentle circles over my hipbones.

  Closing my eyes, I tried to gather myself enough to at least explain to him what it was that had set my mind racing. As I compiled my thoughts, I tilted my hips back, pushing my arse against his cock.

  “Sweet Jesus,” he muttered.

  I opened my eyes and worked out a way to help me stay in the moment. I slipped my hands over his, and he relinquished control to me. Guiding his hands in mine, I led his fingertips up my sides and into my hair. He drew me down to him before kissing me—hard and desperate. Every desire denied during our forced celibacy poured through him.

  “Are ya ready?” he asked as he drew back from the kiss.

  “Yes?”

  “Darlin’, I need you to be ready or we need to stop.” He kissed me again, pouring in more passion than ever before. It was nothing like the things that had happened to me before, and it helped me to relax.

  A whimper left me when he pulled away again. My lips chased his and I leant forward.

  “I’m ready,” I murmured between kisses, finding the confidence I needed to make him continue. “I want this.”

  They were words I’d thought I’d never utter again, and yet like he had in everything else, Beau had been able to reach past my fear, beyond the past, and find the truth in the very heart of me.

  His hand came between us and I braced as I anticipated what might come next. The warm tip of his cock brushed at my entrance, but then he held back. The words he’d said so often in the past came back.

  It was my choice.

  He’d taken us 90 percent. I had to go the other ten.

  “Dawson, look here,” he whispered, forcing my gaze to his. “Stay with me.”

  Putting my trust in him and knowing he had me completely, I made the move and sank down over him as slowly as I could. Inch by inch, he filled me, stretching me perfectly. When the sensation grew too overwhelming and my breath stopped and my heart beat harder, Beau whispered words to me designed to keep me with him.

  My breath hitched as I moved over him again. With no barriers between us, everything was perfect.

  Gaining more confidence with every twist of my hips, I lifted almost all the way off him before rushing down again.

  “Fuck.” The word was drawn from the back of his throat, the u sound lasting at least two seconds.

  “I told you that’s a good word for this situation,” I whispered as I met his gaze.

  Without letting me climb off him, he pushed himself up to a seated position. With a little negotiating of our limbs, we worked ourselves into a position where I was seated on his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. From that position, his lips found my neck.

  We rocked our hips together, our movements slow and steady. It wasn’t need and lust driving us, it was love. It was exactly what I needed for our second first time. We shared the same air and whispered sweet nothings to one another as he wrapped his arm around me and pressed my body down onto his to gain a new angle.

  As he brought me closer and closer to the edge, I tipped my head back and enjoyed the sensation. He used the extra space I created to his advantage, with one hand reaching behind my neck to guide it against his lips. The ministrations of his lips against my skin started a slow build deep in my stomach.

  I leant back further, and his arm shifted from my neck to the space between my shoulder blades. His lips explored lower until they touched my tattoo and then he dipped his head lower still, drawing one of my nipples between his teeth.

  “I need—” I couldn’t finish my sentence as the emotions rolled through me. “Lie down,” I continued when my breath returned briefly.

  He complied. The way he moved inside of me as we shifted positions again was almost, but not quite, enough to tip me over the edge. With him beneath me, looking at me with so much love and reverence it was impossible to be anywhere but in the moment, I was in heaven. I rocked my pelvis harder and faster, and he bucked his hips up to meet mine.

  Reaching between us, his thumb found my clit and I was gone. The slow roll of the build-up became an intense wave of pleasure that rushed through my body, pulsating out until I could feel it everywhere at once. From my core right down to my fingers and toes.

  Beau didn’t stop when I came apart. Instead, his hands came to my hips and he sped the crashing of my hips against him. He clenched his eyes shut and held his breath and then a growl of pleasure left him as he released deep inside me.

  I leant forward down over him as we both caught our breaths. He ran one of his hands up the length of my side, tickling me and drawing out a quiet laugh. When he reached my neck, he tangled his fingers into my hair and opened his eyes.

  Once he was certain he had my gaze, he said, “I love you, Phoebe.”

  They were words I thought I’d never be able to hear without having Xavier’s voice echo through my mind, and yet just then, they were perfect. They were everything.

  In that moment, I wanted to demand he tell me his plan for staying in the country, because I never wanted to let him go.

  “Let’s have a quick shower and get to sleep,” he said as he offered me a towel as I climbed off him. “You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

  His words were a reminder that the next morning I’d be waking up and heading to the track. To more people than I’d been around for the longest time, all of whom would want a piece of me.

  “Are ya ready?”

  I shook my head. “I’m terrified.”

  “I’m gonna be there for ya. Every step of the way.”

  “I know,” I said, taking his hand and following him to the bathroom, where he stretched out the wet towels for some traction on the floor. “That’s one of the very few reasons I’m even going to try.”

  “SO . . . HOW WAS last night?” Angel asked when I knocked on her door to let her know it was time to head to the track. It was super early—the sky outside was still dark—but we wanted to get to the track as early as possible to avoid the worst of the crush of bodies.

  I blushed and debated how much to tell her. We’d never kept secrets before. She knew every intimate detail of what had gone on between Beau and me during my first US trip. But now, I kind of wanted to keep the details locked away between just Beau and me. “It was perfect.”

  I worried she’d press for more details, but instead, she just smiled. “I’m really glad.”

  A grin stole over my mouth. “Me too.”

  Beau met us at the elevators. “You ready? I have a great feeling about today.” There was a glint in his eyes that suggested more than what he was saying.

  “What do you know?” My gaze floated between Beau and Angel, seeking out any hints of what it might be. Angel looked as lost as I felt. Relief flooded through me that there wasn’t some secret the two of them were keeping from me.

  Beau didn’t give up his secrets on the way, just telling Angel and me that it’d be worth the wait.

  Dad was already at the track when the three of us arrived. He ushered us straight into
the pits and showed us to a little lounge area he’d set up for the three of us.

  “This is your safe zone, Pheebs. No one, and I mean no one, is allowed in here without your permission, okay? Everyone has been told that if they do, it’ll be their job.”

  The three of us sat to share our breakfast in the small area. “I guess there are some perks to being the owner’s daughter,” I joked. How many times had I been accused of benefiting from nepotism? At that point, I didn’t care though. With the media ban and having a place to hide for the weekend, I was ready to do what I needed to do. I only hoped that I could.

  Beau still couldn’t fight the grin on his lips, but every time I questioned him, he just said he was soaking up the atmosphere. That he was enjoying being back in that environment. I understood the words, but doubted the truth in them was enough to cause the shit-eating grin.

  As more and more of the team flooded in, my small space seemed more vital than ever. It was a little less than two metres by two metres with nothing more than a couple of chairs and a small bar fridge, but it was enough to give me room to breathe.

  When Dad called everyone around for a quick team meeting, he insisted I join them. I wasn’t sure why, but Beau’s grin grew bigger than ever as he took Dad’s side to push me to join in. Exactly what the cause for his joy was I couldn’t say, but I was ready to know.

  “Now, I know everyone is happy to see Phoebe back on the track this meet.” A small cheer and a few people said, “Go, Phoebe!” to confirm Dad’s statement. “And we’re all hoping that it will lead to a permanent return, but I have to remind you of her need for space and the media blackout. No details of her ordeal or return are to be discussed by anyone except myself and our official PR channels. Understood?”

  There were nods of agreement and understanding from everyone. Angel clutched my right hand a little tighter. Beau gave my left a reassuring squeeze.

  “While we’re talking about staffing, I have another announcement,” Dad added. “Some of you will know this already because you’ve been involved with his recruitment and training, but yesterday we got the word that we can make it official. So, I’d like you all to take a moment to welcome the newest member of Emmanuel Racing, Beau Miller.”

  My heart stopped. Angel released my hand as I turned to Beau. He was grinning so wide it had to hurt.

  “What?” I whispered, trying to grasp hold of the news.

  “I got a job,” he said, “and an employer sponsor for a longer-term visa.”

  “What?” I repeated as my heart started again, racing as the news filtered through me. “This is what you had up your sleeve?”

  “I hope ya don’t mind.”

  “Mind? Fuck, I couldn’t—”

  “Pheebs? Can we steal your attention for just a minute more?” Dad asked.

  I’d turned my attention to Beau rather than continuing to pay attention to the speech. Amusement lit Dad’s tone though, so I figured he mustn’t have been too pissed. “Sorry!”

  “As I was saying, Beau will be on comms during the race, but he’ll also be taking over our second production series car next year.”

  That meant Beau would be stepping into the position I had vacated to go to the US. The current driver mustn’t have been working out the way Dad had hoped. My smile grew that not only would I get to keep Beau, but that he’d also be doing something he loved again. Maybe the Australian scene wasn’t quite as lucrative as the US one, but something told me that didn’t matter to Beau.

  Dad had a few other bits of housekeeping and then a couple of rev-up statements to get the team excited for the day of qualifying ahead of us. When he dismissed the meeting, most of the team turned to come toward Beau and me. I wasn’t sure whether it was to welcome me or congratulate him, but it didn’t matter. It was too overwhelming either way.

  Angel’s hand closed around mine and her other hand stroked my arm. “Let’s take a breather for a while. Beau will keep them occupied.”

  We retreated to my space, and I watched as Beau chatted easily with the team. It was still sinking in that he was staying longer. That he’d be racing for Dad, and be on the comms for me each race.

  “Did you know?” I asked Angel.

  “I had no idea. I can’t say that I’m going to complain though.” She watched Beau with a tender gaze before catching herself and turning to me. “I mean, I don’t want you reverting back into yourself again if he left.”

  “You know, I’m not sure I would’ve.” I brushed my fingers over the collar of the tank top I was wearing, stroking the top of the phoenix that covered my chest.

  With the scar revealed and ugly, I would never have worn something to show off my chest, but now I could. Mostly. I wasn’t about to do a bikini shoot or anything that revealing, but it was a step in the right direction.

  All of those small steps, walked with Beau at my side, had taken me on a different path. One I’d believed impossible just a few months earlier. I was only halfway down it, but that was enough for now. “I mean, I would’ve been devastated, and I would’ve had to figure out some way to keep in contact with him, but I’ve got you. And I’ve got Mum and Dad. Beau took the sledgehammer to the walls around my heart, but you guys are enough to help them from being built again.”

  “What’s that, darlin’? Ya don’t need me here?”

  I jumped to my feet. I hadn’t realised Beau was behind us and I didn’t want him getting the wrong idea. “That’s not what I said, cowboy.” I lifted my finger and curled it to tell him to come closer. “I just said I would survive without you. Not that I wanted to try.”

  “You would survive. You’d even thrive. ’Cause you’re strong.” He wrapped his hands around my waist.

  I placed my hands on his shoulders. “I’m capable.”

  “You’re my everythin’,” he breathed before claiming my lips.

  The results of the weekend didn’t matter to me. When the time came to qualify, I’d do my best. When the race started the following morning, I would drive the best I could. Win or lose, it didn’t matter anymore.

  I’d already won the ultimate prize.

  And it wasn’t even Beau.

  It was me.

  TO BE CONTINUED . . .

  STAY TUNED FOR MORE OF PHOEBE REEDE: THE UNTOLD STORY

  PHANTOM

  PHOEBE REEDE: THE UNTOLD STORY #5

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