Wishing for a Cowboy

by James, Victoria

  “Actually, I don’t ever remember seeing him with anyone. In years. Or ever,” Lainey said, her brows knitting together.

  Janie straightened her shoulders. “Really?”

  “Really,” Hope agreed.

  “I guess that’s good to know. For Will’s sake. You know, that he won’t be bringing home random women or anything. For me, it’s irrelevant. We’re both leading separate lives.”

  “That’ll make things easier,” Lainey said with a knowing smile. In fact, they all gave her that same smile. Like they all knew she was either fooling herself or she was lying to them.

  Janie glanced back over at the bar and reluctantly put her glasses back on, preferring to see Aiden clearly over vanity, and pondered what they were saying. Aiden was all sorts of complicated because of his past with Maxi. Never in her entire life would Janie have ever entertained the idea of a relationship with one of Maxi’s exes. Mostly because they were all losers.

  But Aiden was definitely not a loser. He wasn’t like anyone she’d seen her sister with before. The more she got to know Aiden, the more she realized, if not for Will, she would have a hard time believing they had ever been together at all.

  And that…was a very dangerous thought.

  …

  Two hours later, after her new friends left, Janie made her way back to the bar, empty wineglass in hand and eyes on the women still sitting there. Didn’t they have anywhere to go? They just kept chatting with Aiden.

  Janie paused and assessed how many seats were empty at the bar. It was late but still a few hours to go before closing time. She watched Aiden for a moment. Maybe he liked those women, and maybe she shouldn’t ruin things for him.

  Deciding she didn’t want to intrude—and would rather spy from the distant seat at the bar—she took the long way around and hoped Aiden wouldn’t notice her slide onto a stool in the corner.

  She pulled out her phone to see if by any chance Maxi had responded to her texts. Nothing. Why had she talked to Aiden and Will but not her? Janie chewed her bottom lip and wondered if drunk texting was ever appropriate. It should be in this case.

  But Aiden spotted Janie right away and walked over, almost a swagger but not quite, because he really wasn’t cocky. “You done for the night?”

  She’d had way too much to drink to drive safely. “Yes. I can get a ride home with someone. No need to leave early on my account.”

  His lips twitched, and he splayed his arms wide on the counter, giving her his undivided attention. He made her feel like she was the only person in the bar. He made her feel alive, like a woman who was so very aware of the man in front of her. “I’ve got you covered,” he said. “I have someone who’ll close up for me tonight. Give me five minutes, and we can go. We’ll pick up your car tomorrow.” He walked back to the other end of the bar.

  Janie stared into her empty glass and wondered why she felt so good. Besides the three glasses of wine, which was way beyond her normal. Was she just heady from finally feeling like she was living the life of someone her age? Meeting with those women tonight had done so much for her. But there was more… There was a sense of belonging she’d never felt. A sense of community here.

  And then there was Aiden.

  She had always had to be the responsible one. She had never done anything remotely immature. She had never had more than one glass of wine at a time. She had never worried about if she’d had too much to drink somewhere because she never went anywhere. And tonight, for the first time ever, she was slightly drunk, and would never contemplate driving home, and she didn’t have to worry because Aiden was here. And he made her feel safe. And taken care of. And that was something she’d never experienced…among so many other things.

  “Ready to go?” he said.

  Janie jumped off the stool, startled at the sound of his deep voice behind her. “Uh, yeah. I didn’t realize you were there.” She walked beside him.

  “Let’s get out of here quick. Don’t make eye contact with anyone,” he said, placing a hand on the small of her back. Even though she had her coat on, she felt the heat of his hand sear through her, warming her more than the wine.

  “Why?” she whispered.

  He leaned toward her, and her heart raced. It was the closest she’d ever been to him, and it felt as though she couldn’t quite catch her breath. “People are going to want to talk to me.”

  “You don’t want to talk to people?” she said, keeping her voice low as he guided her through the full bar.

  “Hell no.”

  She laughed, and a few minutes later she was climbing into the passenger seat of his truck, and then they were on their way back to his house.

  He turned on the heat, and she huddled farther into her seat. “Did you have a good time?” he said.

  “Best time ever. Thanks for introducing me to them and forcing me to actually talk to them.” She shot him a glance and was rewarded with a dimpled smile as she watched his profile.

  “Good,” he said. “I’m glad. You deserve it.”

  She tore her gaze from him. “I never would have thought I’d be one for wide-open spaces like this. I always thought it would be almost scary. Or desolate. But there is something so peaceful out here. It’s almost bright, the way the moon hits the snow.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment, and she turned to see his expression. But he didn’t give away much. “I agree. I don’t think there is a more peaceful place. I’d never give this up.”

  “Did you always want to own a ranch?”

  His jaw clenched almost imperceptibly. “Yeah. But I inherited a bar, and it had deep roots in Wishing River. So that was the first priority. Everything else is just icing on the cake.”

  “Kind of like the best of both worlds.”

  “I can’t complain. It’s a good life out here.” The way he said it, though, the tone of his voice, made her feel like he was holding back.

  “I texted Will a little while ago, and he was doing homework, so that’s great,” she said, desperate to keep the conversation going. She liked listening to the sound of his deep voice in the dark truck.

  “He’s a good kid. Keeping his word,” he said, pulling up the long drive to his house. Something had shifted with him once they were alone in the truck. But she had no idea what. His words came out clipped, and he hadn’t turned to look at her once on the drive home. Maybe this was too personal for him. She brushed aside that feeling of disappointment.

  “Well, I’m wiped. I’m going straight to bed,” she said, hopping out of the truck and deciding she needed to grow up and stop fantasizing about this man like she was a teenager.

  She waited on the porch, shifting from one foot to the other as he looked for the house key. “Does it always snow this much out here?” she mumbled.

  “Nope. Usually more.” He shot her a glance and was about to put the key in the door when he stopped. And then he was back to the Aiden she was beginning to know. The guy with the easy charm. “Before we go in, I just… I’m glad you had a good time tonight, Janie.”

  She tilted her head, feeling like there was more there. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was that she just knew that she wanted a little more of that feeling…that feeling that he brought out in her that made her take a step closer to him. “I did. Thank you—I mean not thank you—for bringing me into your world here.” His eyes softened at that, and it encouraged her to go on. “Everyone had great things to say about you. Also, do you know the women in this town have all had a crush on you at some point? And the guys may be slightly miffed at that.”

  He ducked his head, and she found that little bit of modesty quite attractive. “An exaggeration for sure,” he said, lifting his head and looking deep into her eyes like he was searching for something.

  “I…I’m not exactly sure what the allure is, frankly.”

  His eyes widened, and then he laug
hed. He took a step closer to her, close enough that she could see the darker flecks of blue in his eyes. “Really?”

  She nodded, kind of giddy at having his undivided attention. “I was trying to think what it could be about you that everyone seems to find so appealing…”

  The way his grin faltered almost made her stop teasing him. Like he might think she was being serious.

  “And?” His deep voice seemed to curl around her heart and tug until she couldn’t help but drop the humor and tell him how she really felt.

  “It’s that your insides are reflected on the outside. You see, the man I’m coming to know is hardworking and strong and noble. And that kind of character is reflected in your beautiful face,” she whispered. She held her breath, feeling silly when he just stood there.

  But then he lifted his hand—his warm, work-roughened hand—and gently delved into the hair at the nape of her neck. “Janie…”

  The way he said her name, as though it came from somewhere deep inside, made her feel like she was the most special woman in the world.

  And then the front door swung open.

  The porch lights bore over them, like lights in an interrogation room, and Aiden dropped his hand as quickly as if he’d been burned.

  They both turned to see Will standing there. “’Sup, guys?”

  Chapter Ten

  A few days later, Aiden stood outside and watched Will slowly riding around the arena on the ranch. He leaned against the gate and pride swept through him as Will didn’t even bat an eye with fear, sitting balanced like a natural-born cowboy.

  As they’d done all day, though, Aiden’s thoughts drifted back to Saturday night. He could have laughed. Almost. Except his kid answering the door like a forty-year-old father using slang, trying to catch them kissing or something, wasn’t funny. Because it was now very clear that Will didn’t trust him, and that was really starting to bother Aiden.

  And then there was the fact that, yeah, what had Aiden been thinking? He had wanted to kiss Janie. All night. That was a problem. Even worse was that he’d felt that same pull from her.

  No one in his entire life had ever spoken to him like that. No woman, with just a few sentences, had ever touched a part of him he thought irreparably damaged.

  But Janie was off-limits. Will’s happiness was the priority. So, they’d walked in the house and hadn’t had a moment of privacy.

  You ruin everything, Aiden. You ruined this family. You are worthless.

  That voice… His dad’s voice just snuck in there without warning. Again. Stealing this moment. Stealing his focus from Will.

  He tightened his hands around the cold metal bar and knew that he’d do better for Will than his father had done for him. Already, he would do better, because he didn’t believe in physical violence and intimidation and putting his kid down verbally. But he needed to do more than the basic bar to surpass. Aiden wanted a genuine relationship with Will. He liked spending time with him, he liked hearing about his interests, and he liked his personality. He was even happy that Will seemed like he belonged here.

  But as he stood there watching him, he second-guessed giving Will pointers. He wouldn’t want Will thinking he didn’t think he was doing a great job. He knew it would get easier after he earned Will’s trust. There were still the long, evaluating stares he felt from Will. He didn’t know what Will really thought of him at times, which was why it needed to be hands-off with Janie. But hopefully, in time, if Aiden kept putting in the work, he could earn Will’s trust.

  His dad could never understand Aiden. It had never been about thinking the bar wasn’t good enough for him or about Aiden trying to be better than him. He didn’t understand why his dad thought it was all a competition. It had to do with Aiden thinking he had a calling, a passion for animals, for ranching. But his dad couldn’t separate the two. Aiden would never do that to Will. He would never put him down or make fun of his dreams. He wanted him to know he had the whole world in front of him and could do whatever he wanted to if he worked hard enough.

  “She hasn’t thrown me off yet,” Will called out with an excited laugh.

  Aiden grinned at him for what had to be the hundredth time today. “You’re a natural.”

  Will’s mouth dropped open, then broke into a wide grin. “Really?”

  “Really.” Aiden nodded. “You look like you’ve been riding for years.”

  Will beamed and kept going. Aiden didn’t understand the feeling that swept through him at Will’s happiness. This week had almost gone too smoothly. It was hard to believe that Janie and Will had been here almost two weeks. Janie was inside while he spent some time with Will on his own. Logan was coming by soon to take Will out for a day of ranching visits, and Aiden was happy for him.

  He rolled his shoulders, trying to relieve the stiffness that had settled there.

  “Since when am I able to sneak up on you?”

  Aiden turned around to see Logan walking over to him, holding two to-go cups of coffee from Tilly’s. “Lost in my thoughts, I guess. Sometimes I look at Will and can’t believe this is real.”

  Logan stood beside him and handed him a coffee. “I guess it helps that he looks exactly like you. He even sits on a horse like you. Can’t teach that,” Logan said with a slight grin.

  “Thanks. He’s a natural, all right,” Aiden said, standing a little straighter.

  “So, things have really been going well for you guys?”

  “Yeah. Better than I could have ever expected, especially this early on. He’s a great kid, Logan. Not that I can take any credit—that’s all from Janie.”

  “She’s unbelievable. I don’t think I’ve ever hired such a fast learner. Hardworking, naturally gifted with animals, and doesn’t shy away from anything difficult,” he said, then sipped his coffee.

  Aiden kept his eyes fixed on Will, careful not to let his pride for her show and tip Logan off that he had any feelings for her. “I’m not surprised. That’s her MO, I think. She grew up fast, taking Will in at eighteen. She could have just turned the other way when she saw Maxi struggling. But she dove in headfirst and kept going.”

  Logan glanced over at him, and Aiden couldn’t tell what the expression was in his eyes. “Things are good between the two of you?”

  Aiden kept his eyes straight ahead. “Yeah. She’s great.”

  “And you’re…not interested?”

  Aiden kicked at some dirt with his boot. “No, and even if I were, it’s too complicated because of Will. She’s got a life back home, anyway. She’s not here for good. And then there’s the problem that’s been following us around like a dark cloud—what do we do with Will? I can’t just keep him here because I want to. She’s not his biological mother, but it doesn’t matter. She’s his mother. I can’t take a kid away from his mom, no matter how much I want to have him close to me.”

  “So ask her to stay.”

  “And then what? I’m just going to ask her to stay in Wishing River without a plan?”

  Logan shrugged. “Yeah. Then you get Will, and Janie won’t lose him, either.”

  Aiden ran a hand over his jaw. “You make it sound so simple when it’s not. She lives in the city, has a life, has school there. I can’t ask her to move to Montana and start a completely different life here. It’s not fair to her.”

  “Then offer her more.”

  Aiden stilled, the cup of coffee halfway to his mouth. “What are you getting at, Logan?”

  He barked out a laugh. “You’ve obviously developed feelings for her, despite your pathetic attempt to deny it. Act on them. Maybe this is the beginning of something real.”

  Aiden kept his teeth clenched, which made it very difficult to swallow coffee. What the hell had happened to his life? Two weeks ago, he was just Aiden the bartender. Now he was a dad. And he was falling for the one woman he shouldn’t.

  Well, it did
n’t matter. He wanted Janie to be happy. All the things he’d been secretly doing for her weren’t conditional on whether or not he had feelings for her.

  “I can’t,” he said, the words burning like acid. “I should be concentrating on Will, not a relationship with a woman. And he’s already dropped some really strong hints about not wanting me with his aunt. He’s only fifteen, and he barely knows me yet. He could think I’m just this guy who…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. What Will thought of him meant more than anything else. Even more than what Janie thought of him.

  “This guy who what?” Logan pressed.

  Aiden kept his eyes on Will. “Janie’s his aunt. He obviously has a problem with it. Maybe it’s because he thinks I seduced his mom or something and I’m the reason she’s screwed up. And he’s worried I would do that to Janie.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s just not the right message.”

  “Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be so black and white. Maybe there’s a way you can explain it to him. But I’m glad, in a way, that that’s what you’re worried about, because I was thinking it was more the bullshit that you believe you’re not good enough for Janie.”

  That last sentence hung there between them. Aiden didn’t want to get into this. The last two weeks had been an endless cycle of talking and feelings and emotions, and frankly, he didn’t like it. “Just drop it, Logan.”

  “Yeah, I guess I could. But there’s something else I wanted to tell you…”

  Aiden groaned. “Fine. What?”

  Logan’s brows furrowed. “I, uh, I imagine this would bring up a lot of old feelings for you. With your dad being gone, and now you’re a dad.”

  Aiden’s stomach dropped, and he gripped his coffee cup tightly. Logan knew things, but he didn’t know everything. Aiden never had friends over after school, not even his best friend. He’d never confided in Logan or anyone. Shame had clung to him wherever he went; at school, at home, in bed. He was ashamed that his father hit him.

  But it hadn’t occurred to him just how bad it was until he spent more and more time with Logan and his dad. Even when Logan did bonehead things, his dad never lashed out at him. That’s when Aiden realized that his father was either a first-class jerk, or Aiden actually deserved to be treated that way.