Wishing for a Cowboy

by James, Victoria

  “It’s fine,” he said. “I’m fine.”

  Logan let out a ragged breath. “There are things I wish I could go back and change, Aiden. I…I don’t think I was a good friend to you, and one day I’ll pay you back for being a wuss when we were young.”

  Aiden clenched his jaw and stared straight ahead, his eyes on his son. “You were a good friend. The best friend. Don’t go back. It won’t change anything.”

  “Aiden—”

  “Seriously,” he said, his voice coming out harsher than he intended.

  Logan started walking away, and Aiden called out to him, not wanting to brush him off. “Logan?”

  His friend stopped and turned around. “Yeah?”

  Aiden swallowed hard. “I’ll tell Will you’re ready to go.”

  …

  Janie leaned forward on the living room sofa and called out to Will. “Hurry up! Logan is waiting for you, honey!”

  Will came tearing into the room, and she stood, joining him at the front door as he shoved his feet into the new boots Aiden had bought him. “Make sure you dress warmly. Logan said it can get really cold out there after a couple hours.”

  “I will, Aunt Janie. This is going to be so cool,” he said, taking the gloves she held out for him.

  Her phone pinged, and she quickly snuck a peek at her email in case her sister was trying to contact her. Her stomach dropped.

  This was not her sister. This was an email she wasn’t expecting, not in a million years. She read the words carefully, her heart in her throat.

  It was impossible.

  Her hands started shaking as she reread the email.

  “Aunt Janie, are you okay?”

  Will’s voice sounded like it was coming from very far away, and it took her a moment to process that she needed to answer him. She tore her gaze from the screen but didn’t close it, almost afraid that if she did, the email would be gone. “Will, I…my debt. My student loans have been paid off, and I have no idea how that would have happened.”

  He grinned at her, his eyes sparkling, shoving his hat on his head and looking very much like his dad. “I do.”

  She tried hard not to hyperventilate. “What do you mean?”

  “Aiden.”

  Her heart pounded painfully, and the shaking only increased as his words sank in. “What? How do you know?”

  Will zipped up his coat. “Because he told me. He asked me…about your financial situation. I told him you were beyond broke. He wanted to help.”

  Janie shook her head, grabbing her boots. “I can’t. I can’t let him do this. It’s too much. It’s too much. I can’t…” She whipped the front door open.

  “Aunt Janie, it’s already done. And he really wanted to. I gotta go, but you should say thanks to him instead of being mad,” he said, sounding like he was the parent here, before stepping outside.

  A blast of cold winter air hit her, but it felt good against her flushed skin. “I’m not mad. Don’t worry about us. Just have fun with Logan, okay? And don’t forget your backpack.”

  He nodded, and she stood still as she watched him run to Logan’s truck, and then they drove away. As soon as they were out of sight, adrenaline kicked in, and she bounded outside and ran toward the barn.

  Embarrassment and pride kept her running, despite the cold, despite the uneven terrain. The light was on in the barn, and she wished she’d brought a coat. She didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him.

  She wanted to tell him that she didn’t need his help. That he should have asked. That she couldn’t possibly accept that kind of help. The number was in the thousands.

  But as she slid the barn door open and Aiden turned to her, surprise on his handsome face, she couldn’t move. All she could do was stand there, panting from her run, and stare at the only person who had ever come through for her. The weight of the last ten years—the worry, the work, the fear—bubbled to the surface, and she couldn’t be mad. All she could do was try not to choke on the emotion binding her chest.

  “Aiden,” she managed to whisper.

  He started walking toward her. “Are you okay?”

  She wished for everything. In that moment, she wished for him, for this life they were living, to be real; she wished for all of them to be a family. And then she ran straight at him, not even pausing to worry that he might not catch her. She threw her arms around him, almost knocking him over. She didn’t even have time to be embarrassed anymore, because his arms encircled her as though they’d done this a thousand times. She was plastered against his hard chest, and she felt safe and warm and happy.

  “What did I do to deserve this?” he asked, his lips brushing against her hair.

  She pulled back before she had a chance to dwell on the other feelings being plastered against his strong body led to. Those feelings would go nowhere. She looked up into his deep blue eyes, and a part of her wanted to make him smile so she could see that dimple up close. “You know what you did. You… It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

  Instead of trying to deny it, he surprised her by reaching out and raising a hand to her face, his thumb grazing her cheek as he held her gaze. She was pretty sure she wasn’t breathing. Because Aiden standing this close to her, his hands on her, his face only inches from hers…made her forget everything except the feelings that were rushing through her.

  “That shouldn’t be true, Janie. You deserve a lot of people doing nice things for you. It’s the least I could do. You were a parent for him when he had no parents. You put your own life on hold for years. You suffered. You raised my kid like your own, and then you brought him to me. I will always be indebted to you.”

  She blinked back tears and disappointment, because it was all about Will. What else would it be? She shouldn’t have ever thought there might be more there. It was silly. It would all be too complicated, anyway. Not with his history with Maxi—and she was so the opposite of Maxi, or of any woman Aiden might be with. Aiden was a man who could make an entire roomful of heads turn—Janie was a woman who’d get lost in the crowd.

  They were two very different people who only knew each other because of Will. She forced a cheery smile as she pulled back. “Thank you. I mean not thank you,” she amended, keeping her tone light. “But no more. You’ve done so much. Just be a great dad to Will, that’s all I want, and…let me be a part of his life.”

  He frowned. “I would never take that away from you.”

  She covered her face with her hands for a moment as relief flooded her, then quickly dropped her hands, not wanting to look overdramatic to Aiden. But she believed him, the promises he made. She would be able to sleep tonight, knowing he was a man who genuinely had all their best interests at heart. He wasn’t selfish.

  “I’m done in here.” He gestured toward the door. “I’ll walk you back.”

  It hit her then that it would just be her and Aiden in the empty house tonight. But that was fine. Totally fine.

  They stepped out into the cold, and a blast of flurries pummelled them. “Yuck,” she said. “March snow is the worst.”

  “I’ve always thought so,” Aiden said with a laugh as they walked to the house, chatting away like friends. Friends. It was better that way. For Will.

  “Snow is always so beautiful in December, and then by February I’m over it,” she said, huddling farther into her sweater.

  “No kidding. I was thinking of maybe picking up some takeout from Tilly’s, since we have the night to ourselves. What do you think?”

  “Sure, that sounds great,” she said, climbing up the steps, trying to not act like it was a big deal that they’d be alone together.

  Not together, Janie. Inhabiting the same premises for the evening. That’s what they were doing. That’s all they were doing.

  “Okay, I’ll go warm up the truck. I’
m looking forward to our night.” And before she could even process that statement, he turned and headed for the driveway.

  What just happened…

  I’m looking forward to our night?

  Janie’s entire body overheated, making her sweat even though she was still shuddering from the cold.

  She estimated that from the time Aiden left to the time Aiden returned would be approximately one hour. She had one hour to figure out how the hell she was going to handle this.

  Chapter Eleven

  I’m looking forward to our night.

  Aiden cursed out loud in the empty truck. What kind of dumbass thing was that to say? Janie’s eyes had widened bigger than saucers. Way to make things awkward, genius.

  He turned onto the winding road that led to his ranch, the truck fishtailing slightly as the powdery snow accumulated on the empty roads. He’d seen many March storms out here and had a feeling they were in for a doozy tonight. At least the horses were well-fed and warm in the heated barn. All he had to worry about was being alone with Janie and not saying stupid things. He eased his foot off the gas as the road and shoulder seemed to disappear under the snow. He could faintly make out the lights from his house in the distance.

  He pulled into the driveway a few minutes later and grabbed the takeout bag from Tilly’s off the passenger seat, then made his way to the house, surprised how much snow was already on the ground.

  Janie opened the door the moment his foot hit the first step. “We’re in for a blizzard,” she blurted out.

  He tried to focus on what she was saying, but instead his gaze travelled over her, hating that he liked what he saw. Too damn much. She didn’t have her glasses on, and those eyes made him want to pour his heart out to her—which was one hell of a warning sign he was already a goner. He listened to people pour their hearts out to him at River’s, not the other way around. Her full, pink lips made him want to kiss her and taste her, and he could bet his life it would be the best kiss he’d ever had.

  God, he was so screwed. And not the good kind.

  “Aiden? Are you okay? Did you hear what I said—we’re in for a blizzard. White-out conditions, rapid accumulation, high winds, power outages,” she said frantically as though this was somehow going to send him into some kind of a frenzy.

  “Yeah, it’s just your typical March storm.” He walked into the warm entryway and took off his jacket.

  Janie picked up the bag of takeout. “Why aren’t you worried?”

  “Do you want a beer?” he asked, marching into the kitchen. He needed to get a little farther away from her, as well as something to dull his sudden urge to have a real relationship with someone. No, not just someone. Janie. His mind kept replaying that moment in the barn, the one where she looked up at him as though he was someone she trusted, cared for.

  “What?” She marched right along behind him. “Are we even having the same conversation?”

  “Yes. The blizzard. It’s fine,” he said, grabbing a beer and popping off the lid as quickly as possible.

  “How is that fine? Our—your child is in the middle of nowhere on rural highways, and we’ll have no way of getting to him if there’s an emergency!”

  Oh. Oh. She was worried about Will. This wasn’t regular panic. This was mom panic.

  She threw her hands up in the air, and gaps formed down the front of her button-down plaid shirt. He tipped his head back for another long drink before he could see anything, and when he brought the bottle back down, he focused on the anxious furrow between her eyes. “Why would there be an emergency with Will? He’s perfectly healthy. He can’t stop eating. His biggest emergency would be choking, the way he pounds it back. I remember eating like that,” he said with a chuckle.

  Janie’s face turned white. “Oh my God…what if he chokes!”

  “I was kidding. And even if he did, Logan’s a vet. He can castrate a bull blindfolded—I’m sure he’ll be able to dislodge pizza crust from a voracious teenager’s throat.”

  She shut her eyes and shook her head. “Aiden, you’re not making me feel better.”

  That got his attention, and he stood a little straighter. He had been trying to make her feel better, but he supposed he shouldn’t be making too light of the situation. “Janie, he’ll be fine. Logan grew up here; he’s been driving these roads since before he even had a license. I trust him. You can’t live like this, with all this stress. It’s not good for you.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, and a hint of creamy white cleavage appeared—and he realized he couldn’t live like this, either. “I know I’m a bit overprotective,” she said. “Okay. I’m going to take your word for it.”

  He was touched by that. At least she trusted that he had Will’s safety at heart. “They’ll be fine.”

  “All right.” She let out a huge sigh. “We make a good team, I think. I’ve been in my own little bubble of worry for so long, it feels good to have someone to talk this out with,” she said, shooting him a wobbly smile.

  He felt that pang again—the one where he pictured her trying to figure out how to be a single parent when she was still a kid. She should have had someone to share her worries with all along. He didn’t want her to feel so alone anymore.

  “I think we make a good team, too,” he said. “How about we eat before this gets cold?”

  “Sounds good. I’ll just grab a glass of wine and meet you in there,” she said, walking around him.

  Crap. “I’ll get it, sorry. I offered you a drink and totally forgot.”

  “That’s okay, you know? You couldn’t be any more perfect,” she said before grabbing the takeout and walking out of the room.

  He clenched his teeth as he pulled out a wineglass and opened the new bottle. They were being way too polite again, and it was his fault because he was making things awkward after they’d finally gotten past their initial awkwardness. It was that hug in the barn, when she’d run to him as though he were the most important person in the world to her, as though he’d made all her dreams come true. The imprint her body had left on his was unlike anything he’d experienced. Everything about Janie in his arms had felt right. It was at that point he knew his feelings for her ran deeper than physical attraction.

  “Oh my gosh, Aiden, how much food did you get?” Janie called out from the living room.

  He gave his head a shake and grabbed her glass of wine, then joined her in the other room. She had spread all the takeout containers on the coffee table.

  “It might look excessive now, but you’ll be not thanking me soon enough,” he said, placing her wine and his beer on the table.

  “I didn’t think Tilly’s Diner would have lasagna.” She opened one of the lids and sniffed. “Wow.”

  “And it tastes just as good as it smells. Lainey spent a year in Italy, and all of a sudden, authentic Italian dishes were added to her menu. I got two of everything, so go ahead and dig in,” he said, grabbing one of the lasagna containers.

  Janie did the same, and soon the only sound was the rattling of windows as gusts of wind with ice pellets hit them. Every time there was a flurry of ice, Janie would look at the front window and tense up.

  “This is delicious,” she said after a few bites.

  She was curled on the couch now, and he was on the other end of it. “Glad you like it. You know, that storm sounds worse than it actually is. And Will is with Logan, not roaming the countryside by himself,” he said, finishing off his piece of lasagna, then placing the empty container on the coffee table.

  She paused, a forkful on the way to her mouth, and frowned at him. “I wasn’t thinking about him at all.”

  “Right.” His lips twitched as he went in search of the container with chocolate cake. “There’s dessert here, too.”

  “I think this lasagna is going to do me in,” she said, closing the lid with a sigh.

  “That�
�s a shame, because this is world-famous chocolate cake. There’s a rumor Lainey will be adding tiramisu to the menu,” he said, grabbing a giant helping.

  Janie raised her eyebrows, her eyes sparkling. “There are actually rumors about the menu at Tilly’s?”

  He stabbed at the piece of cake. “In a town this small, there are rumors about why someone didn’t get their trash to the curb on time.”

  Janie laughed, the sound making him smile. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and he could feel the tension in her rising again. She glanced from the window back to him before picking up her glass of wine, ignoring the cake. “Do you think the power will go out?”

  “I doubt it. But just to be safe, maybe I’ll get a fire going in a little while.”

  “Oh, so you think it’s a possibility?”

  He put down his chocolate cake and tried his best to ease her worries. “What horrible thing do you think will happen if the power goes out?”

  She ran her finger along the top of her glass. “Well, then Will might not be able to reach us. Cell service out here is spotty even when the weather is good.”

  He was trying to follow her line of worry. “In case of the emergency that’s waiting to happen?”

  She pursed her lips. “Right.”

  “It’s amazing to me that you’ve got it all together, but when it comes to Will…you’re so frantic. He’s going to be okay. At fifteen, I was already…well, I was pretty independent. I think it’s probably good for him,” he said, hoping he sounded like he knew what he was talking about.

  “You’re right, you’re right. Okay, I’m going to enjoy this glass of wine, and I want to know more about you. We’ve got time to talk tonight.”

  They had time to do more than just talk. He held his tongue. “Where should I start?”

  “What were you doing at fifteen?” She shifted on the couch so that she was facing him squarely, one hand holding her wine and the other going to the cushions behind her. But it was the intensity in her gaze that made him wish he had better stories for her, stories to show he was a better man.