Wishing for a Cowboy

by James, Victoria

  She averted her gaze and took a sip of coffee. “I don’t know. I…don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine my life without Will. Speaking of, when he comes back today, we have to pretend like nothing ever happened.”

  “Right.”

  She looked down in her mug, and he wanted to tell her she wouldn’t find any answers in there, either. “So, let’s just be friends who support each other moving on.”

  It was all so wrong. But she was right, because there were no other options for them. “Okay. Friends.”

  “Great. And we should talk to Will about options.”

  “Yeah. Want another coffee? I think I’m going to make a fresh pot,” he said, grabbing the carafe and rinsing it out.

  “Yes please. And this weekend never happened. Whatever momentary bout of whatever that was between us has passed. We will carry on like two family members caring for a child. We can even pretend we’re related,” she said, lifting her chin.

  “We’re not pretending we’re related,” he said flatly.

  “Fine. Then we’re just two people…friends…family…who are caring for a child.”

  “Sure.” He took a drink of the piping-hot coffee, not caring that it burned his lip and throat as it went down, a blistering symbol of how crappy this all was. For her sake, for Will’s sake, he was going to have to step aside. He raised his mug. “Here’s to family.”

  …

  “You exhausted yet?” Logan asked as Janie entered the exam room at his clinic. It was well after nine p.m., and the entire day had been packed with emergency cases and regularly scheduled vet appointments. She had been glad for how busy it was here. It forced her to get her mind off Aiden and their night together. But a part of her wanted to think about it—to remember what it felt like to kiss him, to be held by him. She wanted to remember everything about him.

  Just when she’d thought she was done for the day and could be alone with her thoughts, an emergency call had come in. Their last patient, a sweet yellow lab, had a run-in with a mean tempered porcupine and was covered in quills. Logan had sedated him, and they were now about to start the gruelling and tedious task of removing each of the quills with painstaking care.

  “Not quite exhausted yet,” she said in response to Logan and stood opposite him at the exam table. “But I think I will be by the time we finish with this poor pup.”

  It was amazing how at home she already felt at the clinic. She knew her way around, and she’d become friends with the supporting staff members. Though she’d never given rural practice much of a thought when she lived in Chicago, she was loving it. Watching Logan handle such a variety of animals was inspiring and making her wish for things again.

  “You will wish porcupines never existed when we’re done,” Logan said, his head bent, efficiently pulling a quill and moving onto the next as he spoke.

  Janie picked up her own pliers and began working carefully, knowing how easy a wrong move could send the quill in the opposite direction, burying it farther into the skin. She was glad the owner hadn’t attempted to remove the quills on his own, because done incorrectly they could move through muscle, ultimately penetrating into body cavities and internal organs. They worked in comfortable silence, hunched over the still form.

  “Logan, did you go to school around here?”

  “Yeah. I commuted, though. It was almost an hour each way to the closest veterinary college. A bit more in the winter. You thinking of staying? Has Wishing River won you over?”

  She stilled for a moment, careful with her words. “I just need to explore all options, I guess. For Will’s sake. So much is uncertain right now.”

  “That makes sense. If you have any questions, just ask, anytime. So, how are things with you and Aiden and Will?” Logan said, not looking up as he spoke.

  Good question. How were things?

  She and Aiden were both standing firm on their decision that they could never be more than friends. It wasn’t easy, but it hadn’t been as bad as the weekend. She found herself looking at Aiden a little too long. The way he ran his hands through his hair when he didn’t know what to say to a question Will asked. And Will was one for just blurting out personal questions.

  She noticed the little things about Aiden, too: the way his damp hair curled softly just around his ears after coming out of the shower. She knew he was always up at the crack of dawn and out at the barn before he came in and showered. Some mornings she’d get coffee started for both of them, and some mornings it would be Aiden.

  She had been by herself during those early morning hours, before the sun came up. She had been alone, worrying about bills, studying, making lunches, without anyone to talk to.

  Now, when she woke every morning, she was filled with a newfound excitement. Every day at the veterinary clinic was different. Every morning with Aiden was like a comforting blanket. Seeing Will grow and bond with Aiden confirmed she’d done the right thing by coming to Wishing River.

  Sure, she and Aiden were slightly awkward in that it felt like they were both going out of their way not to make any kind of bodily contact. But that was for the best. It would make things easier in the long run. She still wouldn’t trade those mornings with Aiden for anything. They would get used to this.

  But Aiden had been handling everything like a pro, and Janie knew he was getting more and more comfortable around Will. And vice versa. From what she could tell—and what Will would tell her—Aiden was turning into the man Will had always hoped for in a father.

  She met Logan’s gaze and tried to answer as truthfully as she could without revealing her heart. “Aiden is the father Will needed him to be. And I’ll always be grateful to him for that.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Aiden stood at the window, watching for headlights. He wasn’t worried; he knew Janie was safe with Logan. But he was…unsettled. He wouldn’t be able to go to sleep until she was home. Which was odd, considering that, before he knew her, he’d been able to sleep alone perfectly fine. He rolled his shoulders a few times, trying to ease some of the tension that had built between his shoulder blades.

  He missed Janie and wanted to hear about her day. They had both been pulling long hours this week, and because they wanted at least one of them around for Will, that meant they were rarely home at the same time.

  His attraction to her was the big problem, but it was other stuff, too. The level of happiness he’d never experienced before. He hung on her every word. He loved the sound of her laugh. He loved the way her eyes softened whenever his son walked into the room.

  He knew what he felt for her was more than just gratitude. The night of the snowstorm felt like weeks ago, even though it had just been four days, but it had been a turning point for both of them—they now went out of their way to avoid each other.

  A moment later, headlights appeared, and Logan’s truck pulled up the long drive to Aiden’s house. The car door slammed, followed by footsteps and the front door opening.

  “Aiden?” Janie’s soft voice sent a warmth through him that he’d become accustomed to whenever she walked into the room.

  He walked over to the entrance. “Hey, how was your day?”

  Her eyes were alive with excitement. “Best day ever. I’m wiped, but I’m running on adrenaline. I hope you weren’t waiting up for me?”

  Busted. He shook his head. “No, no, I was uh, just doing some paperwork I brought home with me. So…did something exciting happen?”

  “The best day ever. Um, I really need a shower, though, because I think I probably still have cow blood and dirt all over me. I feel and look disgusting. I had to leave my boots on the porch,” she said, cringing. “You’ll thank me when you see them.”

  Disgusting was not a word he’d ever associate with Janie. She looked gorgeous to him. Her cheeks were rosy, her full lips red, and her eyes just sparkling. “Yeah, go shower. I’m not going anywhere. Do
you want a glass of wine when you’re done?”

  “Definitely. I’ll be quick,” she said, walking past him.

  “Okay.”

  He made his way to the kitchen, not really sure what he was doing. Why was he torturing himself like this? He didn’t really want to hear about her day. Well, he did; he just didn’t want to hear about Logan and his involvement in her great day. He just wished he’d been a part of it. But he was going to force himself to not be a jackass and listen…because that’s what friends did.

  He opened a bottle of wine and took the only two nice wineglasses he owned down from the cupboard. She was probably hungry, too. He opened the fridge and examined the contents as Morris sauntered in, sat down in front of him, and stared at the selection as well. “What do you think? Cheese, fruit, and crackers, Morris?”

  The giant cat meowed, but Aiden had no idea if it was the good kind of meow or not. Then again, Morris didn’t have a good meow. He pulled out three different local cheeses, some grapes and strawberries, and slammed the fridge door shut a little harder than necessary. By the time he finished arranging a plate of food for her and pouring the wine, he heard footsteps approaching. “I feel like a normal human again,” Janie said, standing in the doorway.

  He picked up the plate of food and turned, his gut clenching at the enticing picture she made. Her hair was wet and fell in loose waves around her shoulders, and he swore she must be the only woman who could make an oversize college T-shirt and sweatpants look like the sexiest lingerie he’d ever seen. Her face was scrubbed clean, and those lips had dropped open when she glanced at the plate. “I thought you might be hungry.”

  “You thought right. I am starved. Logan offered to pick us up some food on the way back, but I really just wanted to get home,” she said, grabbing the wineglasses.

  Home… When had she started referring to his house as home?

  He caught a whiff of her shampoo as she walked by him, the scent of lilacs reminding him of spring.

  “No problem. Want to eat on the couch?”

  “Definitely,” she said, following him into the family room. Will had left his books on the chair, so she sat beside him. She curled her legs underneath her body and took a sip of wine.

  “Here, help yourself,” he said, handing her the plate.

  “Are you not having any?”

  He shook his head. “No, Will and I ate already. You go ahead.”

  “Feel free to join me if you get hungry. Did Will have a good day?” she asked, picking up a strawberry.

  “Yeah. He spent hours doing homework assignments—and sarcastically commenting on how happy he was you contacted his teachers for him.”

  They both laughed at that. “I ended up bringing takeout home from the bar because it was getting late. That kid eats enough for a family of five,” he said with a short laugh.

  She smiled, nodding. “I have no idea where he puts it. He’s so skinny. Must be nice.”

  He barked out another laugh. “I know. Teenage metabolism. So…your day was good at the clinic?”

  She put a hand over her heart. “It was the best day of my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for introducing me to Logan. He’s amazing. An amazing guy, an amazing vet. Do you know he had three calls this week for cows with a prolapsed uterus during birth, and they all died? Like, a total streak of bad luck that had never happened to him before.”

  “I didn’t know that,” he said, hating the sound of Logan and amazing in the same sentence. It had a ring to it he didn’t like. Nonetheless, he braced himself to hear his friend’s heroics, because he knew Logan was a damn fine vet.

  “Then, when Lainey’s husband, Tyler Donnelly, called, Logan swore on the way over to the ranch that he wasn’t going to lose another one. And, I mean, I believed him. He was angry and frustrated, but I’d never seen anyone so determined. It was bad.”

  “When we got there, Tyler and his dad were with the cow, and she’d already lost so much blood. But Logan just took charge. It took forever, and honestly, I didn’t think he’d be able to do it. Tyler and I were holding the uterus as he put it back in, like, like…so sure of himself. And soon enough, he was stitching her back up and it was looking good. She should be fine. He is really good at his job.” She put a piece of cheese in her mouth, and he took that to mean her story was done.

  He hoped his grin didn’t look as fake as it felt, because he was genuinely happy for her. “That sounds exciting,” he said. “Tyler must be happy he didn’t lose that cow.” Aiden knew how tight the margins were in the cattle business and that Tyler had just taken over his family ranch a couple years ago. He was busting his ass trying to make it profitable again.

  “He was,” Janie said. “Logan was so happy, too—” She stopped abruptly, took a sip of wine, then said, “I’m sorry, am I going on and on? This must be boring and gross. I forget sometimes that not everyone gets excited about bovine health.”

  He clamped his jaw down hard. He wanted to tell her about his own dreams—that what she wanted was the same thing he wanted. That there was nothing boring about her story. He did get excited about bovine health, and he wished he could show it.

  But he didn’t want her feeling sorry for him—and he knew her well enough to know that she would feel sorry for him. Hell, he never talked about it with Logan anymore, either, because he didn’t want his friend feeling bad. And why should they? He was living a perfectly okay life. It was better now that he had a kid and that Janie was here. But she would leave at some point. She’d leave to follow her dreams. He’d make sure of it.

  And life would go on. He’d be Aiden the bartender, and she’d be a doctor—maybe work right alongside Logan.

  “Are you okay?” she said, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes.

  He coughed and took a long drink of wine. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “You just look a little, I don’t know…flushed.”

  Great. The unfavorable adjectives again. “Just a long day at work. I’ll head off to bed.”

  “Aiden?”

  The way she said his name made him pause and sit back down on the sofa. “Yeah?”

  “Is everything okay?”

  Blood rushed to his ears, and he blinked, then put on his waxy grin again. “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”

  Something flashed across her eyes, and she looked away for a moment. “No reason. I don’t know. I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t want things to be weird between us.”

  It couldn’t get any weirder than this. He’d had a relationship with her sister over a decade ago, when he’d hit rock bottom, and still sported the scar that reminded him of what an idiot he’d been. Then she showed up with his kid, a giant cat, and nowhere to go. Then they kissed, they both decided they couldn’t have a relationship, and now…now she was telling him how amazing his best friend was.

  So yeah, this was all very weird.

  “I’m happy you like Logan and the clinic that much. Like I said right from the beginning, I owe you, Janie.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. You’ve already done more for me than anyone ever has. I took care of Will because I love him. I’ll always love him. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”

  “That’s what makes me…”

  “What?” she pressed.

  What was he getting at? “That makes me grateful. I’m glad Logan is great to work with and you’re getting along so well.”

  Her cheeks turned slightly pink. “I know. I got lucky.”

  He choked on his beer. “Pardon?”

  She gave him a strange look, then rolled her eyes when she realized where his mind had gone. “I mean, I got lucky that Logan is so nice and thoughtful. He is a wealth of information—even gave me some pointers on how to juggle work and vet school.”

  “Oh, because Logan knows what it’s like to struggle with bills and go to school a
nd work full-time?” The minute the snide question was out of his mouth, he regretted it. He regretted it even more when her eyes narrowed on him again. He was sounding bitter and jealous—which he was, but not in the way she’d probably think.

  “Do you have any more wine?”

  He wasn’t so much an ass to just sit there and ignore her request. He gave her a short nod and walked back to the kitchen. Get your shit together, Aiden, because you’re acting like an asshole. He rolled his shoulders, forcing the tension out, picked up the bottle, and refilled her glass, then returned to her in the other room. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks. So, what was that comment all about? I thought you liked Logan?”

  He sat back down on the couch and picked up his beer. Time to act like a good…friend. He needed to snap out of this. Now. “I do like him. He’s my best friend.”

  “That’s cute. And?”

  “It’s not cute; it’s a statement of fact. And nothing. It’s just been a long day. He’s a good guy. He’s…someone I approve of.”

  She sucked in a breath, and he knew he was going to get in deep shit for the approval comment.

  “What is wrong with you tonight?” she said. “Why don’t you just come out and say whatever it is that’s bothering you?”

  How fair was it that they couldn’t be in a relationship but argued like a married couple?

  He never hid his feelings—mostly because his feelings were basic. He didn’t get emotionally involved with people, just kept to himself. He was good at giving advice freely at the bar, where someone sat for the entire night and looked at him forlornly. But taking his own advice was way more difficult.

  He had feelings for Janie. Not platonic. At all.

  And that would screw everything up for all of them if she knew that kiss had meant something real for him. That he was awake every night for hours because he couldn’t stop thinking about that one night together, how he wished they could be together every night. How that one night in his bed, fully clothed, had been the best night of his life.

  Foolish, childish things.