by Rita Hestand
Eve was glad that the children cared for Hawk too, as it brought even more unity to the four of them. Her children not only accepted Hawk, they cared for him too. It made Eve proud. This decision to love would surely change her life forever.
Unless he merely placated them. She had to know!
Something inside her, made her want to shout the love she carried for him. She wished with all her heart that she could tell him openly how she felt. But, what would he think, or say? How did he feel? Perhaps that's all it was, a caring man, a man who wanted to save her from more pain and hurt. He was that kind of man.
Perhaps she was fantasizing again. Until he committed himself, she wouldn't know for sure.
But it stuck in her head all day, he said he loved her too!
Matthew and Hawk caught several fish and when they brought them back, Eve chuckled. "Looks like the two of you had fun…"
"Guess I'll have to spend some time cleaning these." She told them.
She took them to the creek and sat cleaning them, thinking about the possibility of really being a family. It thrilled her, but then, it scared her too. How could they be a family when the whites and the Indians hated each other so? Determined not to think on that, she put a smile on her face and then brought the fish back to cook over a fire.
They were tasty and the kids ate until they were stuffed.
Afterwards they played games together and their laughter echoed through the small valley. It was a wonderful day, filled with happiness for all of them.
But that night as they returned to the cliff, she tucked her children in and grabbed the lie soap and a towel.
"I'm going to bath," she announced sending him a slight smile over her shoulder. "I'll be back soon."
He nodded.
She sighed feeling uplifted that they had all shared a wonderful day together, but now as night fell, she wished…oh she wished. If she thought about it enough, she could conjure him up herself.
She need to know if he meant it.
She wasn't thinking sensibly, but with her feelings and emotions so exposed, she had to get away from him before she said too much. Alone she could admit her feelings. Alone she could dream of him…of them.
The way she wanted him was sinful, but she'd never enjoyed a man before. She'd never known what love could do to a relationship. She did love him, with all her being. So much so, it scared her silly. She was treading on dangerous grounds.
Here in the dark night, she could open her heart and admit it. For no one would know. She had loved him for two years. It had taken those two years to come to this point.
It was forbidden love. She knew it then, she knew it now.
Refuting the word forbidden, she reasoned, true love could never be ugly. It was only ugly in other's minds.
She stripped her clothes off feeling the cool wind touch her body, like a caress. She was aware of herself more these days.
Before with her husband, she never looked at herself, never saw herself as a beautiful woman. Never felt beautiful. Harold never told her she was beautiful. She was merely a woman, and that was all.
Now, her spirit was uplifted, a confidence began to take hold of her.
She was a good mother, and a good person.
She closed her eyes and dreamed of Hawk touching her. Sighing she went into the water, it was cold and her nipples hardened from the chilly waters. It was invigorating. She wrapped her arms around herself at first to warm her.
Looking down at herself, in the reflection on the water, she realized how erotic it seemed to bath in the waters completely nude. Usually she kept her underclothes on, but it had been a while since she last bathed and she wanted to scrub herself clean. Besides, her children were asleep and no one would see.
She swam out but not far, she stood up and her breasts floated just above the water's edge. Her breasts were small, and stood more pronounced than most. She was slim but curvy too. She saw her curves reflected in the water, and smiled. She never until this moment realized how womanly she looked. To look upon herself like this seemed strange, yet encouraging too. Harold had never told her she was pretty, or desirable. She'd never allowed herself to think it. Their lovemaking was nothing more than his pleasure. She sighed pushing the memory of him away from her. She was no longer that woman, and she knew it. She could not erase the seven years she had been with Harold, but she could put the memories away. Most of the memories were not good ones.
It was time to forgive herself for not loving her husband too. He had been mean to her and the children, he didn't deserve their love.
She unbraided her blonde hair and let it fall over her shoulders like a curtain. She took the soap and began rubbing herself with it. The scent of it was clean and she inhaled it.
She closed her eyes as she circled her breasts with her hands, dreaming of Hawk doing just that.
When she opened them, he stood before her, staring at her with a heated glance. He wore no shirt now, and his chest gleamed in the moonlight.
"First, tell me I am welcome." His voice was low, seductive.
She stared at him for a long moment, and then her hand reached to touch his gently. "You are welcome," She smiled at him, not ashamed to have him look at her.
He knew her body better than any man, why should she be ashamed for him to look upon her.
"Now… tell me you want me here…"
He came closer, and her eyes were glued to his magnificent chest. Her hands itched to touch him there.
"I'm glad you've come…" She breath was like a breathless caress.
"Now tell me, you want me as much as I want you."
"It's probably not wise, or right, but…I do want you."
He smiled and touched his lips to her. She opened her mouth and let him in. His tongue mated with hers, slowly. He raised his head.
She searched his face, "The first time, you had to claim me, I know that…but now…it's a choice…for both of us. I know what we're doing is probably wrong…we're crossing barriers we shouldn't. But it seems to me…we've already chosen our path."
He smiled for her. "You are right, we have."
"I must know…is it merely because I'm a woman and you are a man?" She asked breathlessly.
"No," He shook his head and a slight smile curved his lips, as he reached to touch her cheek. She laid her head against his hand, closing her eyes. "The first time was to save you. This time is to love you and claim you."
Her eyes opened and she stared.
"You have given me something I never thought I'd have. What we did for survival back there, we do for love now."
"Yes." His eyes searched hers.
"You realize no one will understand."
"Yes, do you?"
"Yes."
"I have loved you, since the first time I looked at you. Then, I could not admit it, even to myself. Now I must."
She gasped her heart swelling with his words.
"When you said you had hoped for my child…that's all I needed to know. Until that moment, I was unsure…From that moment, I knew."
"Oh Hawk," she practically jumped into his arms now. She cried out, with an almost sob. "I do want your babies. All of them…"
She threw her hair back and stood bravely in front of him, letting him see her in the pale moonlight, unashamed of her nakedness. His eyes fastened on her slowly, his gaze falling on every curve. His eyes seemed to burn into her as he looked upon her. Until that moment, his eyes had been pinned solely on her beautiful face, but now his gaze drifted slowly, downward. No man ever appreciated looking at her, except Hawk. From the glitter of his eyes, she knew he enjoyed feasting his eyes upon her. She'd never felt more like a woman in her life.
"Are you sure, are you very sure?" She asked, waiting for his answer. "You want me to be your woman?"
He shook his head and smiled so at her. "No…"
She looked stricken, and then his fingertips touched the tip of her nipple and his eyes captured hers. "You already are, aren't you?" He didn't he
sitate to tell her.
"Oh Hawk…our love may have many consequences, but they seem so unimportant…I love you Hawk…I always have."
He brought her up against him and kissed her wildly, rejoicing in her words as he caressed her. He raised her up out of the water and lifted her into the air, smiling with such joy. Her breasts dangled and he reached to kiss them with his warm lips.
As he brought her down, her body molded to his.
She sighed with a smile; she let her breath out slowly, and opened her mouth as his lips came down on hers. The kiss was mesmerizing, as his tongue worked its way to hers, mating with it. Her lips meshed with his until she could not tell hers from his. She breathed in heavily as his hands cupped her bottom solidly against him, and she felt the hard erection against her. Her heart sang. Her legs moved to encircle him around the waist now fitting herself against him. He was slippery, warm and wet and so inviting.
Another dreamy smile captured his attention as he came up for air. Setting her down once more, he went behind her, and pulled her against him, feeling her body touching him in different places and his arms went around her in one long sigh of contentment. She shivered with anticipation until she realized it was real, and it was Hawk and he wanted to be here with her. He chose to be here with her, so her body welcomed him.
His thumbs caressed her nipples slowly, sending a riot of sensations through her. She drew breath. He took the soap from her and slowly spread his hands over her breasts as he massaged them into lather. He took special pleasure in massaging them into an erection of their own. His thumbs flicked at her nipples gently. Already hard from the cool waters, her nipples swelled against his manipulation. Her chest rose and fell rapidly now, she was nearly panting. She laid her head on his chest and reveled his touches in the pale moonlight. Her lips grazed his chin. Her hair splayed over his shoulders and arms.
"I prayed you would come." She admitted in a soft breathy voice. "I was so afraid that in my honesty I had been too bold."
"Then you did expect me?" He asked with a rasp.
"I'd hoped, yes," she smiled. "I thought you were a dream at first. I thought I had conjured you."
He turned her around.
She stood frozen for a moment, staring at him as he openly fondled her. She relished the touch of his hands on her, and the feel of his lips at her temple. The desire swelled within her. He rinsed her breasts with the water, watching the water bead down her breasts and drip from her beautiful dusty nipples. He raised her up just enough to touch his lips to her nipples, surrounding them, flicking his tongue gently against them. "Today I admitted my love for you to Jane Ann. I felt a freedom in admitting it, as though, I'd given myself permission. I know the consequences of such an admission. Forgive me for my boldness. But there is no way I can deny my feelings for you any longer."
"There is nothing to forgive, I too have wanted it. For days, for years. You are my woman, and always will be. The claiming of you, right or wrong, was destined from the beginning. I knew when I took you; there would be no turning back. I claimed you in front of a tribe. Even then I knew it best not to say anymore, but when you gave freely your love, I knew there was no turning back for us." He whispered at her ear as his breath blew against her there creating even more sensations. "When I left you at the fort, I did not want to leave you, but I felt I was doing the right thing, giving you another chance to claim your white life."
"From the moment you touched me, that life didn't fit anymore, and it never will again. I thought myself sinful for wanting you, but I couldn't and can't deny it. I do want you. I wanted your baby…"
"My heart leapt when you said that."
He caressed one nipple with his mouth, the other with his hand.
She looked down at his head, her hands mingled in his hair. It was soft to the touch. "I can't think when you touch me like that. You're so gentle. I've never known a man to be gentle."
"A man in love, treasures his woman."
"I was afraid you wouldn't come, you wouldn't want to touch me again. I thought you merely saved me…I couldn't be sure how you felt. Even though you made love to me that first time…I didn't know what to expect. You being Indian and I being a white and like you said, they don't mix. Dear God, forgive me, but I want them to mix."
His head raised and he saw the doubts. He shook his head, and his hands held her cheeks as his thumbs stroked her there.
"You were mine long before I touched you. Eve you must know this. I sent you silent messages so many times, and I felt you must have heard, from the way you looked when you glanced up at me. So many times, I wanted to take you away from that cruel man. I knew you belonged to me then. I knew. It was a long wait, for you and me, but it is so worth it."
"I hoped, but we are from different people. I couldn't be sure. Not until today, hearing you say it meant so much."
He gently kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and melted into him, urging him to take what was his to have.
His lips went from her lips, to her cheek, and down her ear lobe, then further down her neck, to her shoulders and at last, the exquisite feel of his lips surrounding the tips of her breasts made her arch for him. He pulled them gently with his teeth, then his tongue flicked them gently. She moaned aloud.
When he raised his head, she touched his cheek.
"I felt wickedly sinful for wanting you so, but I couldn't stop thinking of you. No one has ever touched me like you. I know that sounds crazy. I've been married, and yet no man…has touched me like you. No one. I crave your touches now. I'm not complete without you. I know that."
He took the soap from her hands and rubbed it erotically all over her body. Touching her everywhere. She gave him leave. His touches were warm, inviting and soon they clutched and kissed. She wrapped her legs around his middle and hung on. He lifted her from the water suddenly, and licked the water from her. He looked up into her passion-ridden face, and smiled. Then he slid her against him as he let her down and his mouth captured hers in a kiss so hot the water seemed to heat up around them.
She laughed when he dunked her in the water, playfully.
His hand moved to wash her woman hood, as he pulled her closer to shore. All manner of sensations riveted through like a violent storm of passion. Again, her legs came around him, as he carried her, they kissed hotly. She hung onto him naked against him, enjoying the feel of his strong body. She basked in his touches. His long warm strokes against her created a fire only he could put out.
Her husband had never been this gentle with her. Somehow, she knew Hawk would be. But to only imagine it, and to experience it, were two very different things. "Now we will be one again." He whispered softly against her ear.
"Yes my darling, yes!"
Chapter Eleven
He carried her now, anxiously to the shore and laid her on a strip of sandy dirt. He stretched out beside her, smiling that they could love so openly now and kissed her nipples, as they swelled into his mouth. "Your breasts are so beautiful; I've never known a woman who tempted me more." He chuckled.
Her hips rose to meet him, but he had leggings and clothes on. She fumbled to get them off of him quickly, wanting to be naked with him, free to touch him as he was doing with her. He helped her, just as eagerly.
She'd never seen a man built so beautifully. Her hands shook to get the clothes from him, needing to touch the silken of his skin.
As she pulled the leggings away, and his shirt, his manhood stood out, ready for her. She stared in wonder. She touched it, lovingly. "I've never had the pleasure of just looking at a man before. I never saw my white husband naked before, but then…I never wanted to either. Everything is different with you. You take my breath. We are so very different, but yet we fit together like a puzzle."
"You never saw your husband?"
"No," She shook her head at the dull memories. "There have only been two men, my husband, and you. With him, it was always in the dark, and he only mounted me, and then got off. He did not kiss, touch
or look. He just got what he wanted and left me." She paused to think of it, "He never made love to me, he just took me. That's why I reacted like I did, when you began touching me so tenderly. I can't explain how different it is."
"Such a waste. To be with a woman like you, and not make love, is a sin."
When she saw him completely naked, she gasped at his raw male beauty. Built to perfection, every inch of him was muscle and brawn. His skin was so beautifully tanned by the sun, and so satiny smooth to the touch. "I've dreamt of us together again! I feel sinful, lustful, but I can't control it." She smiled temptingly at him. "We've had so little chance to be alone. I so wanted to be alone with you. I needed to hear you say the words that would make me yours. I didn't mean to deceive you, but I came here purposely hoping you'd follow me. That's why I told you what I was going to do. I thought at least you'd come to watch me. I'm so sinful…but I've never felt this way."
"No my sweet. Sin has no part of us. And I as well…" He smiled. "I had hoped with my heart that when you announced you were going to bath that I might be welcome. I had to chance it. After Sweet Pea's confession of love, I couldn't ignore how we felt any longer."
She smiled. She loved that they could talk truthfully to each other and not be ashamed of their feelings for each other.
"We are one you know. And you will always be welcome with me, inside of me, around me." She announced, her lips caressing his jaw, her hands running over him, discovering him. She ran her hand the length of his strong body, moving slowly around his backside, cupping him gently there, strong buttocks, she swooned. He was strong and hard in all the right places.
"I know…that now." He whispered. "I just wasn't sure you knew."
"I'll admit, at first when I woke up and found you gone, I tried to deny my feelings. I tired to wash away all the beautiful moments together. I couldn't. When you came back, knowing you came back for me…and Jane Ann, I couldn't deny how I really felt. I was so afraid when you left me at the fort that I'd never see you again. I kept hoping you'd ask me to dance."