The List

by Alice Ward

  “Yo,” came his voice from the other side of the door.

  “It’s Xavier.”

  There was a bit of movement and then quiet. Seth might have been afraid of me right now. If I were him, I would have been.

  After another moment, the door opened. Seth stood there looking at me, his face full to the brim with pomp. If he were some other guy, I’d slam him into the wall. But he wasn’t some random dude. He was Davis’ cousin, and that meant there were certain rules I needed to play by. Even if Seth himself didn’t do the same.

  I stepped across the threshold, prepared to physically push my way in should Seth decide to try and close the door. He just stepped aside, though, and watched me enter the foyer. I glanced over at the vase of roses sitting under a mirror. The place was so obviously decorated and maintained by his mother’s own staff it was ridiculous.

  Inside the apartment, I turned and gave it to him. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you want to ruin us all?”

  Seth crossed his arms and wrinkled his nose. “Ruin us all? Who talks like that? What year is this, nineteen twenty?”

  I reached a hand up to seize his collar but stopped myself before I made contact. Seth recoiled at the close proximity, which gave me a bit of satisfaction. At least the prick was afraid of me. As he should have been. I could turn him into a bloody mess in under a minute if I wanted to, and he knew it.

  “So, what’s your excuse?” I demanded.

  Seth’s face smoothed out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I sucked in a breath so fast it burned my nose. “Seth, I swear to God—”

  “And I swear I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  I could tell by the look on his face that I wouldn’t get a confession out of him. Not without real work. But we both knew what he’d done, and I wanted to find a way to make him feel bad about it.

  “I saw Riley,” I told him.

  “Good for you.”

  “Do you really not realize what you’re risking here? Maybe you don’t have a business to protect, but Davis does. His name being dragged through the dirt will mean trouble for your whole family. Do you honestly think your parents won’t take action if they find out about what you’ve been up to?” I nodded at the foyer around us. “How much money do they send you each month? And what are the terms of that check? I bet you’re supposed to be a good boy, am I right?”

  Seth’s eyebrows angrily bunched together. “This isn’t about the list. It’s about her. You want her all for your own.”

  “No, I don’t,” I answered, more as a reflex than anything.

  “You’re a bad liar, Xavier. You never act this crazy. You want Riley all to yourself.”

  “I put her on the list,” I barked.

  “Only because I saw you two together. How do I know you’d only just met her? Maybe you’d been keeping her to yourself for months.”

  A new jolt of anger shot through me. “Don’t try to change the subject, Seth.”

  He kept barreling on, pretending he didn’t hear me. “I guess you won’t mind if she and I go out again. I was thinking about taking her out on my new yacht.”

  A chill seemed to sweep into the foyer. “You didn’t go out with her.”

  Seth smirked. “Okay, sure. Whatever you say. I didn’t.”

  “Riley would never touch a loser like you.”

  Seth’s eyes flashed. “You think you’re so much better than everyone else. Like you’re God’s fucking gift to women and—”

  I waved my hands, cutting him off. “I swear to God, if you ruin things for me...”

  “What?”

  I put my face so close to his that I could smell the fear coming off him. “I will fucking destroy you.”

  Seth gulped and took a half step back. “You don’t have the power to do that.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Davis is already pretty pissed after you brought a girl into the office. He will be furious to hear about this new development. You might as well kiss Enigma goodbye right now. You’re two seconds away from expulsion from the club.”

  Seth lifted his chin. “It will be kind of hard for you to kick me out, considering all the information I have on you. No one has to find out about the list, but what about your fighting? That doesn’t look good. And not just for you. It’ll make Davis look bad too.”

  The realization of what he was saying hit me like a train. He was right. Seth was fucking right. As much as I wanted to get rid of him, and even if Davis and Julian were in agreement, it wouldn’t be simple. We were all inextricably tied together. What damaged me damaged them. Davis wouldn’t risk giving Seth the boot and then having him leak my affairs all over town. The smarter choice would be to just try to manage and placate the dumb kid.

  “We’re not done yet,” I snapped before turning away, then slammed the front door behind me so hard the hinges rattled. Even if Seth’s door had fallen right on the floor, it wouldn’t have brought me any relief. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the worst part was that I put myself there. I should have seen all of this coming. Even if Seth wasn’t seeking to blackmail me, someone else would have done it sooner or later. I was foolish to think that I could spend my life doing whatever the fuck I wanted.

  Knowing I wouldn’t be able to stand still for even a minute, I took the stairs. The pounding of my shoes echoed in the empty stairwell. I needed a plan. I’d fucked things up hardcore, and I needed to figure out a way to fix them. It was too bad I had absolutely no clue where to start.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  Riley

  I stared at the ceiling, the little popcorn-like balls up there blurring together. I hadn’t spent this much time in bed since I had the flu. What I was currently going through resembled the flu a lot, actually. My limbs felt like they were made of lead. My stomach churned. My head ached.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about Xavier, the list, Seth, Xavier, the fights, Xavier… it was so bad that I’d called out of work for the night. I knew there was no way I could go into the bar and be productive to any degree. At the moment, I could barely eat. I wouldn’t be able to function again until I figured out my next move.

  The list was the main thing preoccupying my mind. If I weren’t thinking about that so obsessively, I’d be crying over Xavier. The way he’d touched me in his office that morning, the way he’d kissed me. For a moment, it had made me forget all about the drama going on. The man pulling me closer to him wasn’t the kind of person who would beat up innocent people or catalog women like they were objects to be shopped for in a magazine. He was someone else entirely.

  But it was just a facade. It had to be. I’d pushed Xavier to talk about the list, and he didn’t even come close to saying he regretted creating it. The worst part was that he put me on it.

  The thought made my eyes fill with tears. I pushed my fingertips against my eyeballs, trying to send the tears back in. I refused to cry over this. No way. I was going to actually do something.

  I’d spent so much of my life sitting around and letting shit happen to me. I’d let people make my choices for me—been passive and overly agreeable. But everything that happened recently had helped to wake me up. I could no longer sit by while that despicable list was in existence. I had to find it.

  If I could get my hands on it, I could contact the women on it. I could let them know what was going on so that when Xavier or Seth approached them, they would know what was really up. I could save them from some of the pain I wasn’t able to avoid.

  As far as options, I had two places I could start. Or two people, rather. And I wasn’t talking to Xavier. If I so much as saw him, I’d burst into tears.

  That left one option.

  Steeling myself, I sat up and grabbed my phone. Just pressing Seth’s name on the screen felt wrong, but I did it anyway.

  “It’s about time,” he answered.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi,” he purred. He was probably trying to be sed
uctive, but I grimaced at the attempt.

  “Can we… talk? Like, in person.”

  “Yeah, of course. What’s this about?”

  I rubbed the aching spot between my eyes. “It’s about what you told me last night. About Xavier.”

  I held my breath after the last word. It was very possible Seth would tell me no. Our exchange on the sidewalk wasn’t exactly a nice one. At this point, he might dislike me just as much as I did him.

  “What about tomorrow morning?” he asked, taking me by surprise.

  “Um, yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.”

  “I’m going sailing. You can come with me. We can talk about this whole thing in private.”

  The idea of being isolated with him caused my stomach to churn, but no way would I back down from getting my questions answered. I would do whatever it took to help those women on the list. In a strange sort of way, we were sisters now. Before I could allow myself to consider the consequences, I responded, “When and where?”

  “I’ll text the details. Look, Riley… I’m sorry if I came off a little strong last night. That’s kind of the way I tend to be. Everyone tells me I can be intense. I’m working on it.”

  “Oh. Well, thank you. That’s nice of you. I was probably pretty intense myself.”

  “Let’s start over tomorrow. Meet me at the pier at nine? I’ll text you the address.”

  “Sounds good. Thanks.”

  We hung up, and I stared at my phone. I didn’t know if Seth’s apology was genuine or not, but I hoped it was. If he was softening toward me, that hopefully meant our next day’s conversation would go well.

  I set my alarm for seven-thirty and climbed under the sheets. Sleep didn’t come easy. I drifted in and out, always feeling like I was simultaneously falling asleep and waking up. When my alarm went off, I groggily climb out of bed and into a cold shower.

  Today is the day, I reminded myself. The day I start being truly proactive. The day I get something out of this whole crazy mess.

  Ann-Marie was up, sitting on the couch and watching some stand-up. The second I came home the other day, I told her everything that happened with Seth, including what Seth told me about Xavier. She also knew about what happened in Xavier’s office the day before. She was still of the opinion that I should save myself and get as far away as I could from this debacle before it was too late.

  “Hey,” she said around a mouthful of cereal. “You’re awake early.”

  I squared my shoulders. Here went nothing. “I’m going sailing.”

  She looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah, I’m going with Seth.”

  She groaned. “Riley, no.”

  “He has information I need.”

  “You’re not an undercover cop.”

  “And I’m not trying to be. I called him up last night and was really clear with him. I told him that I want to talk about the things he told me.”

  Ann-Marie set her cereal down on the coffee table. “Okay, this time I actually do need to come with you.”

  “Nu-uh. You can’t. If you’re there, he won’t talk. There will be zero chance of him opening up.”

  “You’re going sailing with this guy. Do you understand what that means? You’ll be out on the water with him. Alone.”

  “He’s not going to murder me.”

  Ann-Marie slowly raised an eyebrow. “Please don’t do this just in an attempt to get back at Xavier. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it.”

  “It’s not about getting back at Xavier.”

  “So, it’s about finding out every little detail of what he’s been up to?”

  “No.”

  She didn’t look convinced. “I hope not, because if that’s the case, you’re only going to drive yourself insane.”

  “It’s not about Xavier or me. It’s about exposing this list.”

  “If you want to expose it, go give the story to a reporter!”

  I chewed my bottom lip, considering the possibility. “No. I don’t want to hurt Xavier. I just want to help the women on the list.”

  “Oh my God.” She slumped back against the couch. “It is about Xavier.”

  I groaned in frustration. “Are you not listening?”

  “You just said that you don’t want to hurt him.” She solemnly looked at me. “You still have a thing for him.”

  “After everything that’s happened, that would be impossible.”

  “And yet, you kissed him yesterday.”

  “I have to go,” I snapped. “Seth is waiting for me. I need to do this, let the other women know so they don’t become victims.”

  “Please keep your phone on.”

  “I am. I mean, I will.” I pulled the front door closed behind me, accidentally shutting it harder than I meant to.

  CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  Xavier

  I stared out the window below me and watched the tiny people moving around on the sidewalk. From up in my office, they were nothing more than dots.

  Riley could be one of them, for all I knew. She could be that blue one, or that red one crossing the street. It was unlikely. She’d stormed into my office yesterday and took me by surprise, but I’d bet my life that kind of thing wouldn’t be happening ever again. Now she knew the truth about me. Or at least she knew the truth about what really mattered. She understood that I was no good for her and that we were better off apart.

  The fact that it was fucking killing me didn’t matter. The fact that I was actually thinking—for the very first time in my life—that working on a relationship with a woman might be possible didn’t matter. I was still a lost cause, and Riley was still too good to deal with this insanity.

  Which meant my attention needed to be on the current problem — damage control. Seth had literally gone off the rails. Since seeing him yesterday, I’d had countless daydreams of disposing of him. They were all fantastical, and not going to happen, but they did make me feel slightly better. The thought of driving him out to the middle of the desert and leaving him there at least made me chuckle.

  A dull knock sounded on the door. I turned eagerly and went to open it. Davis stood there, a strained look on his face. I offered my hand for a shake, and he firmly gripped it.

  “Come in,” I gestured. “How are you doing?”

  “Not so good, but only because of your phone call.”

  “It’s not one I wanted to make, believe me. Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink? My assistant was just about to bring in some coffee.”

  “That sounds great.”

  We settled down on the couches in the far corner of my massive office, and small talked about Davis’ recent trips and my work while Kenneth served coffee. The second we were alone again, he got right to business.

  “I regretted inviting Seth to be a part of this whole thing the day after it started,” he said, setting his coffee cup down on the table. He fixed his gaze on mine. “I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

  “What’s done is done,” I sighed. “I’m more interested now in dealing with it all. He says he’s going to blackmail me if I try to put him in his place.”

  Davis scratched his jaw and thoughtfully looked at the floor. “I’ll talk to his parents. That will settle the matter. If Seth makes any sort of attempt to sabotage you, Enigma, or the group, his parents will step in. Money talks, and since Seth doesn’t have his own means—”

  “Excellent.” I took a sip of my coffee and enjoyed the slight burn against my tongue. “We’re of the same mind then.”

  “Completely.”

  I swirled the spoon around in my coffee cup. I already felt better. Seth’s behavior being taken care of removed a giant burden from my shoulders.

  Another knock on the door made Davis and I both look over.

  “Come in,” I instructed.

  Rochelle entered, her tablet and a stack of folders in her arms. “Good morning.” She nodded at my friend. “Davis, how are you doing?”

  “Very well.”
He smiled. “It’s great to see you again, Rochelle.”

  I frowned at my publicist. “Did I miss your text? I didn’t know you were coming over.”

  She tilted her head in confusion. “Your interview with Fresh is in fifteen minutes. Remember?”

  “Shit. I thought that was tomorrow.”

  Davis stood and adjusted his suit. “I need to get going anyway. See you at the club tomorrow?”

  I shook his hand again. “See you then.”

  He said his goodbye to Rochelle and left. With the two of us alone, she came over to the seating area and put her belongings on the table. “Is everything all right?”

  “You’ve been asking me that an awful lot lately.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve been forgetting things an awful lot lately.”

  “There’s… stress at the club.”

  “Ah.” She knowingly raised her eyebrows and looked away. Rochelle didn’t know the list existed, but she was aware that I held some kind of secretive pact with three other men. She wasn’t stupid, and working for me for years had allowed her to amass a good deal of clues regarding the secret side of my life.

  She opened one of the folders and pulled out some papers. “Shall we go over the talking points for the interview?”

  She briefed me on the questions the reporter from Fresh would ask. We were just finishing as the man himself came in. He was short and young, with a hipster haircut and a button-up shirt with flamingos on it. He gave me his name, but I forgot it immediately. Which just meant Rochelle was right. My mind was shit.

  The interview proceeded in the standard way. The kid asked me all the usual questions, ones about advice for people seeking to get their own start-ups off the ground and ones about my opinion on the current direction of the market. They were all agonizingly boring and simple. I glanced at Rochelle, curious to know how much longer we had. She held up her hand and signaled five minutes.

  “There’s one more topic I’d like to hit,” the reporter said, punching his pen into the air. He was recording the whole interview, and I hadn’t seen him write anything down yet. “You’re known to be one of New York’s longest-running bachelors. How do you feel that fits into your model of success? Do you think that you have more time and energy to put into your career since you don’t have a woman dragging you down?”