The List

by Alice Ward

  “Linc?”

  “My dear… have you not gotten around to remembering that yet?”

  I searched my mind, willing a face to appear in connection. “No, I have no idea who you’re talking about.”

  “Well, then we need to straighten this out. You see, my Worth had an affair, dear, with your mother.”

  My hand went to my throat. “My mother?”

  “Yes, dear. I sorry if that pains you, but it’s the truth you’re seeking so you need to hear it all.”

  “Go ahead.” I gave her permission.

  “Your mother was beautiful. You resemble her when she was young, as a matter of fact. She had a thing for Worth Sr. and he returned it once or twice. She ended up pregnant and when your father learned of this, he married her and took her south to stay with her aunt until the birth of the child. Your father had always held a soft spot for her and saw this as the only way he’d ever be in her life. Well, the child was born and taken from her before she saw it. Worth had arranged for the baby to come and live with us, telling me he’d adopted a deceased friend’s baby.”

  I gasped and she paused, reaching over to pat my knee. “How did you discover the truth?”

  She sighed. “I knew it was a lie from the beginning, but what choice did I have? Well, the men from the Midwest switched babies and kept Linc as a precaution to keep Worth in line. He brought home the switched baby and we raised him as though he was ours, when in truth, he had not one drop of blood from either one of us. Our baby, your Worth, was born then but was contentious from the very beginning. He had a lot of his father in him, but Linc was the golden child. He was wonderful in sports, good looking, smart, charming — everything Worth wanted his father to think he was, but there was no pleasing him.”

  “Why haven’t I met him?”

  Margaret looked down at her cup, pain striking her features for the briefest moment. “Linc was killed in an auto accident at the age of sixteen and Worth became the heir. He and his father battled constantly and there wasn’t any relief until Worth went off to college. Even then, when he was home on vacations, they were at one another’s throats. There was nothing I could do but stand back and watch.”

  My mouth was open as I listened to her story. There were tiny tidbits of what she said that I could remember, but for the most part, it was all new to me. “Go on,” I encouraged her.

  “Well, after you and your Worth married, there was a confrontation at the farm. After you both left, taking me with you, his father shot himself in the head.”

  “Oh!” How could he not have told me? Then I realized he had no idea what I did and did not remember.

  “That’s when I came to live here in this very condo. I never set foot back on the farm. Then, one day a man showed up and said his name was Linc LaViere and had the papers to prove it. It seemed he was here to get what he believed was his inheritance and needless to say, he and Worth did not get along. Linc accused a great many people of bad things and that didn’t endear him to anyone. He was blackmailing Worth to cooperate in a race-fixing scheme, or he would blow the lid off everything.”

  I shook my head. This was like the plot of an action movie. “What happened next?”

  Margaret sighed. “Well, one thing led to another and eventually Worth used his power of persuasion to set up a liaison between Linc and Worth’s clinic director, Jessie Klinger. They both thought they were thwarting Worth, and putting one over on him. You and he had a falling out over it and finally put that behind you. Linc left with Jessie and the two of them went to the east coast. We believe that Linc’s past finally caught up with him and the men from the Midwest saw to it that their car turned over. Jessie was collateral damage.”

  “My god!”

  “That’s putting it mildly, Auggie. You and Worth were both in very real danger and he protected you. You and Ford. He faced his career being ruined and being killed himself in order to protect you.”

  “I had no idea,” I began.

  “No, I didn’t think so.”

  “So, this Linc was my half-brother and Worth’s as well?”

  “Yes, although he had your eyes, he looked almost identical to Worth. In fact, he masqueraded as Worth on several occasions and caused Worth a great deal of money and embarrassment. I made the mistake of giving him the family farm and your mother moved in with him.”

  “Do you have a picture of him, Margaret?” I asked.

  “As a matter of fact, I do. It was from the Derby party you threw and to which he was invited.” She drew her wallet out of her purse and leafed through the inserts until she came to it. She handed it to me.

  I felt my heart stop when I saw the picture. It triggered flashbacks and memories flooded in on their own river of poison. The revulsion I’d been feeling was toward Linc — not Worth! “May I keep this for a day or two, Margaret?” I begged. “I’ll get a copy made and have the original returned to you.”

  “Don’t bother,” she said. “Not really sure why I carried it. He was no blood to me and I never look at it with any kind of fondness. Keep it.”

  I pressed my fingers against my temples, trying to steady myself as new thoughts and memories continued to swirl through my mind. It was like a physical assault. “I can’t thank you enough for coming today, Margaret,” I managed to say through the emotion clogging my throat. “You’ve opened the floodgates and I remember what I couldn’t figure out before. You may have just saved my marriage.”

  Joy and relief combined on Margaret’s face. “Good! Then it was worth the risk. Your father didn’t want me to come. He thought it was too soon and that it might harm you to think of those days. They weren’t pretty, that’s for sure.”

  “Tell Dad I love him for protecting me, but that you coming to see me has just saved a family. I want to think about this a few days, get back all the pieces, and then I’ll go and see Worth. I’ll fix this. I promise you.”

  Margaret nodded, satisfied. She stood up and came over to hug me. It felt good to be held in a mother’s embrace. I vowed to do this for Ford a thousand times a year. “Thank you for coming,” I said as I opened the door for her. “That was a very unselfish thing to do; to relive all of that for my sake. I appreciate it very much.”

  “Take care, Auggie,” she warned me. “Worth is a valuable prize, even if I am his mother. Don’t wait too long and let him go.”

  I nodded and closed the door behind her. I had so much to think about.

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  Auggie

  Margaret had opened a great many hidden doors for me. I knew now why Worth felt threatening. It wasn’t him; it was the memory of Linc. I laid in bed that night and tried to summon back anything I could think of about Linc. It worked. It fell into my conscious like shattered glass and each shard cut me. It wasn’t just Linc. It was the betrayal of my mother and the threat the two of them had posed against Ford. I realized they had also threatened Worth, even though at the time, I thought Worth was betraying me too. Actually, he was at work with his own scheme which worked far better than mine.

  I still had another problem. While I was separating Worth from Linc, I still hadn’t rediscovered the feelings of love for Worth. It wasn’t his fault. It was simply a reality of whatever was controlling my brain.

  Now, however, I had time and space and hopefully, the feelings would return. I fell asleep with a sense of being enclosed in warm, strong arms and being told I was loved. That was powerful medicine.

  ***

  I watched the days of fall drop into winter from my perch above the streets. One by one, the buildings put out their Christmas finery, lighting the night sky like so many colored bead necklaces. As a rule, I didn’t like winter, but this one had been warmer than normal and I was still able to get around with nothing more than a light jacket.

  By day, I visited with old friends, spent hours in the library reading and by night I crocheted hats and scarves from yarn I picked out in the craft stores. I signed up for some crafting classes and invited some o
f the people I’d met to the condo for a ladies’ night get together. Some of my girlfriends from school played poker or bunco at one another’s houses. I did my part and learned to laugh again.

  One day, I got the wild notion that I needed a makeover and settled myself into the city’s top salon. I didn’t want short hair but settled for a long angled cut that made me look far more sophisticated. Of course this called for a new wardrobe and I indulged myself even further.

  Through all these weeks, I never saw Worth. Margaret brought Ford over every two weeks when he had a weekend off. We spent this time having fun, taking in movies, playing video games and, one night, we had a pajama party on the floor with sleeping bags and horror movies. We laughed in a way I’d never laughed before and the bond between mother and son strengthened. This time on my own was restoring my inner confidence and teaching me that there was always joy if you looked for it.

  I found a car dealership and bought myself a sleek, black convertible with white leather interior trimmed in red. I knew it was a lousy time of year for a convertible, but it didn’t seem to matter. I was doing away with the rules and embracing the options of being an adult female with a nice income and my health. There were so many blessings to be counted.

  It was between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I woke up one morning and knew I was ready. I tapped his number and he answered on the second ring.

  “Hello, Auggie.”

  I melted a little inside when I heard his voice. “Hello, Worth. It’s good to hear your voice.”

  “Not as good as it is to hear yours.” The deep timbre of his voice made me shiver and I knew he wanted to say more, but couldn’t. He was in full control of himself. “How have you been?”

  “I thought we might meet for a late lunch and talk a little. Do you have time?”

  “Of course. Where would you like to meet?”

  “Don’t laugh, but at the Hilton,” I said, reminding him of all the times we’d gone to the Hilton before. I heard him catch his breath and he sounded choked when he answered.

  “See you there in the bar at two?”

  “See you.” I hung up and started getting ready.

  Worth

  I couldn’t believe it when I saw her name come up on the caller ID. I’d begun to fear that I’d never hear from her again; it had been so long. I knew Mother had been to see her. She’d stopped by the estate after leaving Auggie and told me about their conversation. I don’t understand why it didn’t occur to me that Auggie might be blocking me because of her memories of Linc. We looked so much alike; identical except for the eyes. Our personalities were not alike, however, but that didn’t seem to matter when it came to Auggie’s brain. Hearing her voice on the phone had been like drinking sweet syrup. It seemed to fill in all the gaps and I had great hopes. Of course, she could be meeting with me to end it all. It was a chance I had to take.

  I walked into the bar and didn’t see her yet. I took a corner table where I could watch the door, and I didn’t have long to wait. She swept through the entrance a few minutes later.

  She took my breath away. She was wearing a deep teal mini dress and laced heels. Her hair was different and it took a moment before I realized she’d cut it. It was asymmetrical and sassy. I wondered if it was an indication of how she might have changed emotionally. I was not to be disappointed.

  Auggie didn’t walk, she skated up to me. Leaning toward me, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me full and deeply on the lips. I was instantly molten inside, hard and needing her softness. I could hardly speak. “You look stunning,” I managed and she laughed at my discomfort.

  “Not the little wife you remembered, eh Worth?” She slid onto a seat and ordered a martini. I was stunned. She was nothing like the woman who had left my house that early fall day. She’d been filled with insecurity and fear; this woman was a powerhouse of confidence and strength. Where was her heart now, became the question.

  “How have you been?” I asked her. I didn’t need to ask, I could see it before me. I was just generating conversation so I could hear her voice.

  “I’m here, you tell me,” came her cocky response. Oh my god, but I loved it. This was the Auggie who had walked into my office that first day so many years ago. All attitude and swagger.

  “I’d say that I remember you from somewhere and it’s fabulous.”

  She laughed and the sound was venomously attractive. “How have you been,” she continued. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”

  “It would have been better if you’d been there,” I offered, knowing it was a risk to say so.

  “I wasn’t ready then,” she said, “but I am now. I have a proposal for you.” The deep green eyes reflected the color of her dress and I was hungry for the taste of her skin.

  “Tell me,” I almost ordered her.

  “I happen to think you’re pretty great and I happen to be excited by the idea that I’m married to you. The only problem is that I’ve been attributing some old memories to you and that’s where the disconnect was. So, what I’m asking you to do is to court me. I want to give you a clean slate and vice versa. I’m proposing that we fall in love.”

  I could not have imagined sweeter words. I didn’t waste any time. “Deal.”

  She laughed and her head lay back, her long throat exposing itself and I wanted to suck it. Her hand sneaked across the table and over mine and when it withdrew, there was a key card in my palm. “You bring the champagne, I’ll bring your dreams,” she whispered and then skated back out of the room.

  I was completely floored. I had to catch myself for a minute and be objective. Had she gone off the deep end? Was she in trouble? I didn’t think so. Damn, I hoped she hadn’t. I was so hard I wasn’t sure I could walk. I flagged the waitress and order two bottles of champagne and some food sent up to the room. On staggering legs, I walked toward the elevator, checking my appearance in the lobby mirror.

  ***

  I slid the key card into the door and opened it. It was one of their better suites and Auggie was waiting for me in the sitting room. She was surrounded by vases of flowers and sat in a transparent negligee that left nothing to the imagination. Somewhere along the way, my horse-loving wife had become a siren.

  The champagne and food arrived then and I caught the delivery outside the door. No one would see Auggie the way she looked now — but me.

  As I walked toward her, she lifted a remote in her hand and the lights went very low and music started snaking through the room. She tossed it on the table and slid toward me in a measured, sultry walk. She was bare-footed and the transparent negligee was slit to the waist on both sides. There was nothing to hide her from me but a curtain of swirling fabric and a sassy length of hair that hung over both shoulders. Her hands were on me now, unbuttoning my shirt one at a time, but not in the order from neck down. She unbuttoned the last button first and slid one finger inside the opened fabric as if testing the temperature of water. “Not yet,” she whispered and moved to another button. It parted and again, in went her finger and she licked it, saying, “not yet.” Another button and, this time, her tongue tested the open fabric. I was hard and wanted her to open my pants, but knew she was doing this in her own time and method. “Almost,” she said this time and with one smooth movement, ripped the shirt open so my bare chest was exposed to her eyes.

  She slowly ran her eyes from my neck to my waist and fixated on my crotch as though that was her next goal. Instead, like a snake, she wound about me, her breasts pressing through the thin fabric into my bare skin. Once she stood behind me, her hands slid into the top of my waistband and she jerked, ripping the fabric. Before I could react, her hands had reached around in front and unbuckled my belt, sliding my pants and underwear down into a puddle on the floor. The hands did not leave, however, but cupped my balls while her thinly clad pussy pressed itself against my ass. My knees were ready to buckle but I held it in check. I knew if I interrupted her plan, it would be forever interrupted.

  Keeping on
e hand on my balls, she moved around to face me and fell to her knees, taking my rigid cock into her mouth as she slid down my length. I bent my knees to accommodate the difference in height and this was nearly my undoing. Her mouth, so warm and moist, so familiar, belonged to a different Auggie. This Auggie was my wife beneath, but her exterior was pure sex.

  She ran her tongue slowly around my tip, tracing the ridge with a flicking motion. My breathing was coming faster and I wanted to pick her up and find the bed. She wasn’t done with me yet. She was behind me again and now I heard a noise; a soft brrrr and it was then that I felt the vibrator wand she held in her hand. Slowly, she inched it the length of my ass and the vibrations shot through and into my body. My cock began to vibrate as well and the pleasure of it was excruciating.

  “You know…” she said softly, “boys and girls are alike at the beginning. I’m willing to bet that I can make you feel the same as I do when you touch me.” Her voice was ethereal, warm and yet distant. At that moment, she gently thrust the vibrator in my ass and lay it against the flesh to one side so the vibrations travelled by erotic osmosis to set me on fire. This was my undoing and I swung around and picked her up, kicking open the door to the bedroom to reveal a bed surrounded by candles. I followed the path left open and laid her gently on the cushioned surface, covered with layers of silk.

  I ripped the fragile fabric that covered her and she spread her legs wide, motioning for me to enter her. It took no coaxing, no preparation. I plunged into her as deeply as I could, and her hands picked up sections of silk, running them over my buttocks. They were contrasting and unbelievably erotic sensations. I pounded her and she cried out my name, begging me to be harder. Her legs moved upward and folded around my waist. I pressed her into the bed and pumped her relentlessly. Driving into her, the force of my body drove her toward the headboard and she reached for a cushion to protect her head. I was another man, another mind, another body. I had no coherent thought; nothing but to claim the woman who was mine and had taken me back. I would never let her come to harm again.