Crave: Addicted To You

by Ash Harlow

  An hour later, they pulled up outside Be Hoppy. They were launching a new beer at the boutique brewery, and among this current bunch of interns at Dog Haven Sanctuary were a few beer geeks, eager to grab the chance to sample a fresh brew. Inside, they ordered beer and bar food and headed for the pool tables towards the back of the room.

  “So where’s Vince tonight?” Marlo asked.

  “Busy being mysterious.” Lulah shot a quick glance towards Mike, but he and some of the other guys moved off to organize a pool competition among themselves.

  “How are things going with him, when he’s not being mysterious?”

  Lulah thought back to the other night. “He’s all over the place. You know, when he’s functioning well, he’s so hot he melts steel. Other times, he’s a hot mess.”

  “Is he still going to counseling?”

  “Sporadically, because the doctor he prefers has been away. But he’s back now, and Vince seems to be back in the program. When he’s doing his woodwork, he’s great, focused, calm. But this thing with not being able to see his daughter plagues him. In fact, I think it’s holding him back from any kind of recovery. He has it fixed in his mind that if he sees his daughter, he’ll be okay. That’s so off-target it isn’t funny.”

  “Do you think he wants to reconcile with his wife?”

  “No. He made it clear that their marriage was over some time ago. I think the reason the divorce has only now become an issue is that they were living apart because of his deployment. She has a new guy on the scene.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “What?”

  Marlo shrugged. “Well, you know, the idea of the wife. They need to be dealt with and put in their place, emotionally.”

  Lulah nudged her friend. “Is that what you had to do?”

  “Yeah, actually, I did. Adam’s wife —”

  “Emma,” Lulah corrected.

  “Okay!” Marlo faked an eye-roll. “Emma could have been a bug for a while. I was uneasy there. At the time of her death, she and Adam were happily married, about to have a baby, still crazy in love, and, to make it worse, Adam blamed himself for her death. She ghosted around us for a bit.”

  Lulah took a long draw from her beer, placed the glass on the table, and pointed at it. “Yeah, that’s good.”

  “Lulah!”

  She grinned. Like changing the subject would ever work with Marlo. “All right, I’ll be totally honest with you. I think Vince is hot.”

  “That’s not news.”

  “If I let myself, I could become quite obsessed with him. There are so many things about him I admire, but I can’t. I want to, and I can’t. Look how unreliable he is? He was coming around this afternoon to pick up Calliope, and I expected him here tonight. That’s a quinella. A one-two finish in the disappointment stakes for Vince right now.”

  “Hell, Lulah, betting analogies? You’re really selling Vince to yourself as a baddie tonight.”

  “Yeah, darn right.” Lulah started tapping her finger on the side of her glass. “A million other little things make him unreliable, and even worse than my dad—you know, my dad, the other completely unreliable dude in my life—Vince is emotionally unstable. So getting back to your question, when you take all of the other baggage into account, the fact that he has a soon-to-be ex-wife means nothing at all. It doesn’t take much analysis to realize that none of this shit adds up to the cozy boyfriend material I planned for myself.”

  “God, you’re sounding so grown up. That scares me.”

  “Ah, well, having said that, you know I’d jump his bones in a heartbeat.”

  “Whose bones are you jumping?”

  Damn, how long had Mike stood there? Trying to work out how much he’d heard made her head hurt. She checked Marlo who grinned stupidly at her table napkin. Lulah knew that look. Any minute now Marlo would break up laughing. Adam joined them at the table and she felt that little prick of envy as he bent over Marlo, kissed her long, before whispering something in her ear that made her blush.

  Lulah turned to Mike. “They’ll need a room in a minute. Come on, is that pool table ready?”

  Adam pulled away and winked at Lulah. “Let’s go, Sharky.”

  She slipped off her stool, about to follow him across the room when Mike leaned in close. “So that you know, I’d happily jump your bones, too.”

  Shit on a stick. She forced a laugh. “Who’s your partner?”

  “I hoped it would be you,” Mike replied.

  “Sorry, buddy, Adam and I are a team. We go way back. Marlo doesn’t play, so I get the hunky Kiwi for pool.”

  Jono, one of the interns, joined up with Mike. “She’s a deceptive player,” he said, pointing his cue at Lulah. “Watch her.”

  “I intend to,” Mike said.

  Tell me this isn’t happening. She leaned into Adam. “Help me here,” she hissed.

  Adam grinned down at her. “You better stay focused, girl, because I’m handing you over if we lose.”

  The game swung back and forwards. None of them were particularly good, but the winning shot came down to Lulah. As she lined it up, a commotion at the bar where three guys had come in disturbed her. One of them knocked over a bar stool, spilling another guy’s drink. As they settled themselves down, she saw Vince. Turning back to the pool table she miscued her shot. “Sorry,” she mouthed at Adam.

  He passed her a beer. “You threw the game to get your hands on Mike, you little hussy.”

  Lulah indicated with a quick nod to the bar. “Did you see?”

  “I did. Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

  “I think he’s been drinking.”

  Adam glanced across, then back to her. “Well, he certainly is now.”

  “He hasn’t had a drink in a long time, Adam. He swore off it until he got better. Said it didn’t help him.”

  “Okay, don’t worry, hon. I’m watching him.”

  Mike approached. “Best of three?’

  Adam glanced at her, offering her the decision. “You bet,” she replied.

  Vince watched the pool tables where the group from the Sanctuary sat. He should be with them, but right now, brimming with self-pity, all he wanted to do was get thoroughly shit-face drunk with the two Marines he had joined up with. Mike was hanging over Lulah, and inside he boiled and raged while he laughed at the joke someone told.

  He took a position up against the wall from where he had the bar entrance, the bar itself, and the pool room covered. As he made another scan of the pool tables he caught Adam watching him. The man who sees all. Vince flicked his gaze back to Lulah, bending over to take a shot. Turning slightly, he noticed Mike watching Lulah, too. Glancing back to Adam, his friend shook his head: a small movement, almost imperceptible, but it said so much.

  Inside Vince could feel the monster begging to be released. At the moment he held the power. He could sense Adam willing him not to make any stupid moves. And he could envision Mike’s surprise if he did.

  Yeah, right now he had his small world captured in one hand, and a single little squeeze would change the game.

  Yet, just as quickly he understood that the power was totally destructive. The only thing he could do with it was ruin an evening, wreck any opportunity of improving his life. This morning he’d given his power to Taryn, and it would be stupid if he allowed their inability to sort stuff out to influence everything else in his life. He leashed the monster, leaving it agitating on its tether.

  Through calmer eyes he watched Mike line up a shot…and pocket it. The guy could play pool. Lulah, bless her, had not checked out Mike’s ass as he’d bent in front of her. She stood with Adam who spoke earnestly with her, before they looked his way.

  Oh, shit, here she comes, and he’d have to introduce her to his two half-pissed mates who would be sure to say something stupid, or derogatory, or… fuck, he didn’t want to deal with this. He turned to the guys. “I’m going to head off.”

  “Wait, we’ll come with you. Let’s try
that new bar up the road.” With the four women from the neighboring table in tow, they stepped out into the street.

  Adam caught Lulah’s arm as she went to go after Vince. Damn him. She swung back to face Adam. “He’s been drinking. I need to go to him.”

  “No you don’t, you need to stay here. You aren’t responsible for him, Lulah. Let him make his mistakes, and if he’s drinking, the last thing you should do is be with him. Drunks don’t listen to common sense, you know that.”

  “He’ll end up in trouble.”

  “In that case, he’ll suffer the consequences.”

  “I could stop this.”

  Adam gripped her arms, “No, Lulah, you couldn’t. You can’t be there whenever Vince goes off the rails. He’s not drunk; he’ll be okay.”

  “He can’t help himself.”

  “Actually, that’s one thing he can do. But he may have some way to go before he comes to that conclusion. If you keep trying to rescue him, he won’t get better.”

  “I haven’t tried to rescue him, I’ve listened, that’s all. But seeing him drinking like that tonight, I can’t sit by—”

  “I’ll fix it, Lulah.” He pulled out his phone and took a few steps away as he made a call. He returned in minutes. “I gave a friend at the station a call. Not to have him picked up, but to let the patrols know he’s having a rough time.”

  Lulah sighed.

  Adam wrapped his arm around her. “Hey, carry on with what you’re doing because it’s making a difference for him. But you need to be prepared for moments like this for a while, heck, maybe forever. He’ll hate himself tomorrow and if it plays out right, you may be able to continue guiding him into focusing on his counseling, not drinking—all the good stuff you’ve already done.”

  “Evidenced by what we’ve seen tonight!” She tried to pass her pool cue to Adam. “I’ll sit the rest of this out.” Suddenly she didn’t want to be anywhere near Mike.

  Adam raised his hands, refusing to take the stick. “You, Sharky, are moving back to the table. Don’t even think of walking out on me at this stage.”

  For a brief moment she considered throwing the game.

  “And don’t think about throwing the game, either.”

  “Scary mind reader. I don’t know how Marlo puts up with you.”

  “I know, isn’t love awesome?” He grinned and took her arm again as she headed to the table. “When we’ve finished this game, I’ll have a look around for Vince, okay?”

  The second game went to the last ball, too. This time, Lulah pocketed it and the best-of-three was on. As Mike racked up, Lulah drained her water and searched the bar.

  “We’ll find him, Lulah,” Adam said quietly to her. “Let’s finish this game and we’ll head off. I can see Marlo yawning. There are plenty of cars around for Mike to grab a lift with one of the others.”

  They won the final game, though Lulah knew it was no thanks to the way she played. She’d hurried her shots, her interest half-hearted. Outside the bar the evening had chilled so that Adam pulled both the women against him, one under each arm.

  “At times like this it’s good to be the pickle,” he said. “I get warmed on both sides.”

  Lulah scanned the window of every bar and restaurant they passed and she pulled up. “Uh-oh,” she nudged Adam, “The devil we speak of is at nine o’clock.”

  “Brilliant.” He released the women. “You two stay right there, I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Lulah craned her neck to watch Adam enter the bar and approach the large table where Vince sat with a group of men and women. She hated the little stabs of jealousy each time one woman in particular reached to touch him, so she turned to Marlo.

  “Ugh, that woman needs to keep her hands off him. What do you reckon I go in like a mad hornet hunting for someone to sting, grab Vince by the ear and haul him out onto the street?”

  Marlo laughed. “Great idea, Lulah. I can see you doing that.”

  “Well, I hate standing here doing nothing.”

  At that moment they saw Adam leave the table and head for the door. Back on the street he held up a set of keys. “He’s fine, Lulah, he’s not drunk. I have his keys so he’s not going to drive. Leave him to have a night with the guys. It may even do him some good.”

  “If you say so. But for the record, if that woman in there, the one doing the cleavage reveals every ten seconds, lays a finger on Vince, I’ll pee in her gas tank.”

  “That’s what we love about you, Lulah, you’re all class.”

  “I blame that new beer we tried tonight. Maybe too many hops, it’s had an alarming effect on me.” Jealousy was fresh and puzzling to her. Other guys she’d dated had female friends, and that had never bothered her. Time to shut off these possessive feelings she had about Vince. And she’d stay away from over-hopped beer.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lulah woke cold as the sun revealed itself through a fiery orange crack that split the horizon. Joker lay alongside her, but Calliope was missing. Vince must be around. She sat up and Joker grunted and rolled a bit before settling with a sigh. Lulah rubbed her hand across the warm, soft fur on the top of his head, drawing a deeper sigh from the dog. An interior light shone from the barn but she couldn’t define any activity. Surely he wasn’t working already after the late, alcohol-filled night he’d had?

  She threw back the covers and stepped from her bed. The morning air wrapped her body like a cool glove, and she shivered. The changing seasons brought a new chill that would soon drive her from the porch to the cabin’s one large bedroom for sleeping.

  Through the kitchen window her attention flitted across the yard, back to the barn, wondering about Vince’s state. Her childhood had its share of hung-over adults. People who’d come to the trailer for poker and drinking, and stayed the night. She brewed a cup of coffee, taking a deep sniff before sipping it. Tempting as it was to take a mug over to Vince, to steal a glimpse of the damage he’d most likely done to himself, she decided the approach for the next encounter was up to him.

  It was Sunday and she wasn’t expected over at the Sanctuary. Mike had invited her to go hiking, but she had already planned to bike a piece of trail she’d had trouble with. Joker could go with her and earlier in the week she’d hoped Vince would, too, except now that was unlikely. She added a drink, trail mix, water for Joker and an extra layer of clothing to her small day pack.

  Vince came out of the barn as she checked over her bike. She stayed focused on the chain, oiling it at the same time as checking for wear. Not that she saw much because concentrating on his approaching steps across the yard, she tried to fathom exactly how to deal with him.

  “Hey, Lulah.”

  He sounded cautious. She reached for a cloth to wipe the excess lube from the bike chain. “Hey, Vince.” Fighting the urge to smile at him, to appease whatever angst rode his face, she bunched the cloth into a tight ball.

  “Do you need a hand with that?”

  “Nope, thanks anyway.” She rocked back onto her heals and pushed herself to standing. Oh, boy, that must have been some night. “Phew, you look rough.”

  “I do, huh? Lucky I don’t have a mirror in the barn.”

  “Did you sleep there last night?”

  Vince nodded.

  “How did you get out here from town?”

  “Walked. Adam took my keys.”

  “He left you a house key, though, didn’t he? I mean, your house is closer to town. It’s miles out to here.”

  “I…yeah…stuff happened. Sorry, I shouldn’t have slept in the barn without asking. I know that’s not the deal we agreed to, but I was stuck for somewhere to sleep and in the middle of the night, walking out here seemed like a good idea.”

  “Did you find some trouble last night, Vince?”

  “I need to see Adam.”

  She watched as he turned from her, motioning for Calliope to follow. Brush me off, whatever. Except she knew her attempt at a ‘don’t care’ attitude didn’t come near wiping out the way
she hurt.

  “Are you in trouble?” she asked again.

  Vince walked off in the direction of the Sanctuary, but he stopped. “I don’t know.”

  Lulah pulled on her daypack. Not my problem. Let him go. He was in trouble, she knew that but she couldn’t go after him, couldn’t rescue him. Couldn’t rescue Dad, can’t rescue Vince.

  “Come on, Joker, let’s go have some fun.” She mounted her bike, clipped her feet into her pedals and set off at a slow pace, warning Joker, who bounded ahead, that she planned a long ride so he’d best save some energy for later. Clouds curtained the sun but it appeared the rain would hold off. Perfect biking weather.

  When she returned hours later Vince’s pickup was parked near the barn. On the trail she’d gone over her feelings about him, his situation, her situation, and still hadn’t come any closer to a conclusion.

  Having him working in the barn was fine. That didn’t bother her and she was glad to help him out, provide him with that space. When out alone she could even talk herself into keeping him at a distance, friends. Yet the minute they were in a room together, one look at him and her brain scrambled.

  She headed into the cabin to shower. There were two minor scrapes that needed attending along with examining the bruise that would be darkening her butt.

  On the trails, she believed she wasn’t pushing hard enough if she didn’t take an occasional tumble. Today when she fell, her foot hadn’t released from the pedal and the bike stayed with her as she went down. Her butt hurt as though she’d been kicked by a mule.

  She stood for some time in the stream of hot water. Today she ached inside and out. By the time she finished she’d decided to call Vince in for a meal but from the kitchen she noticed his pickup gone. Later, as she tidied up after her meal, she saw him return.