Agony (Entangled Hearts Duet Book 1)

by Kaylee Ryan

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “What? No. Of course not. Why would you ask me that?”

  “Because the thought of him or anyone forcing themselves on you makes me cagey.” I give her wide eyes, trying to lighten the mood.

  A small smile pulls at her lips. “Yeah, I know the feeling. Janie?” she asks.

  “It was nothing.”

  She nods. “Yeah, that’s pretty much how it was with us too. Afterward, we both looked at each other and started laughing. We were both super nervous, but he was… good to me.”

  “I wish you would have told me,” we both say at the same time.

  “It’s weird, you know? Talking to you about it. That’s not really what we do.” She gives me a look that I can’t describe. If I didn’t know better, I would call it yearning.

  “Yeah, I guess we can agree to not discuss these things in the future. Just promise me something.”

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t let anyone take advantage of you, and if he, whoever it might be in your future ever forces you or tries to hurt you….” My words trail off.

  “I’m a big girl, Coop.”

  She is, but she’s mine. Not in the intimate sense of the word, but she’s my best friend, and it’s my job to look out for her. Sometimes I wish things were different between us. I wish that… I could have been her first, that she was not just my best friend cuddled up in my bed, but my girl. I’ve never done the serious-relationship thing. I’m not a cheater, but I don’t know how I would be at it. I’m sure I would fuck it up, and then I’d lose her, and that’s just not going to work for me. So, no matter how badly I wish that I was her first and she were mine, that’s just not how our story ends.

  “You wanna go back out?” I ask her.

  “No. I’m tired.”

  “Okay.”

  “You go,” she says, snuggling in close. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tight.

  “Nah, I’m good right here.”

  “They’re going to ask questions.”

  “Let them. I’ll unlock the door. They can check on us, like you know they will, and see that we’re just friends. We’ve got nothing to hide.”

  “Thanks, Coop.”

  I kiss her forehead, then release her, rising out of bed to unlock the door. I grab us each a bottle of water and set them on the nightstand. I know she gets thirsty in the middle of the night, especially after she’s been drinking. Climbing in beside her, I pull her into my arms and close my eyes.

  I wish things were different, but I’ll take this moment and cherish it with all the others.

  Chapter 6

  Reese

  I’m pretending to be asleep when I hear Nixon and Tessa outside Coop’s door. They’re debating on if they should come in and check on us. Nixon tells her to leave us alone, and Tessa, being the great friend she is, insists that she make sure I’m okay. I pull the blanket up over my face and lie as still as possible.

  “Reese,” Tessa whispers. “You awake?”

  “Babe, they’re sleeping.”

  “I just… hold on a second.” I hear the door creak, and I assume she’s pushed it open to get a better look. “Oh,” she breathes.

  “Oh? What, oh?” Nixon asks, keeping his voice low.

  “Look at them.”

  “Let me see,” he tells her.

  I can picture him, with his hands on her hips, using any excuse to touch her, and leaning around her to see what she’s talking about. “He’s an idiot.”

  “Why do you say that?” Tessa asks.

  Their voices are low as I strain to hear them. “He’s in love with her.”

  “They’re just friends.”

  “Tell me you think she’s not in love with him,” Nixon says.

  I wait for Tessa’s reply that never comes. Hot tears prick my eyes. I thought I was hiding it better. I thought I was doing a good job of not letting on that I love Cooper, not just as my best friend, but as the gorgeous, tall, dark-haired, brown-eyed man that he is. I know we can never be together. I’m not willing to risk losing my best friend. Besides, I’m not Janie or any of the other girls I’ve seen him date. I’m not even close to being in their league. They’re all tall, long legs, dark hair, exotic-looking beautiful women, much like Tessa.

  I’m just me.

  Just Reese.

  “Is he in love with her?” Tessa questions.

  “He’d never admit it,” Nixon answers. “Come on, you checked on her. Let’s go to bed.” There’s a soft click followed by the sound of their voices as they carry down the hall.

  A tear slides down my cheek as my heart feels more exposed than ever before. No matter how much I wish that life was different, it’s not. No amount of wishing is going to change the outcome. Cooper nuzzles closer. His hold on me is tight as he sleeps peacefully beside me. He had no problem falling asleep next to his best friend.

  I don’t know how long I lie here, listening to him breathe while his hot breath caresses my neck. Minutes, hours, I’m not sure. One thing I do know is when I finally drift off to sleep, it’s with the dream of the two of us together, as more than just friends.

  The sun shines brightly through the blinds on Cooper’s bedroom window. It’s silently telling me with its blinding rays of heat that it’s time to drag my ass out of bed. I’m awake, but my eyes are still closed. I refuse to open them and face the day. Not after last night. I’m humiliated, and I need a few more minutes to get myself in the right frame of mind to deal with all of this.

  I came in to use the restroom.

  I was tired so I went to bed.

  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I need to watch myself around Coop and make sure that what I do for him, I do for the other guys. That should be reason enough for them to quell their suspicions, right?

  I hope so.

  I hear Cooper moving around the room, so I know that I need to accept defeat and get moving. Slowly, my eyes flutter open. I blink to bring them into focus and almost gasp at what I see. Cooper is standing in front of his dresser, a towel hanging low on his hips facing me. He’s drying his hair with another. His eyes are closed as he runs the towel over his head. Lucky for me, he’s not in my direct line of sight. I squint but don’t pull my eyes away as he drops the towel he was using on his hair and unties the towel around his waist, letting it drop to the floor.

  I slam my eyes closed, but it’s too late. I can never un-see what I just saw. Not that I would want to. No, never will I forget getting a full-frontal naked look at my best friend. The same guy I’m secretly in love with. He’s… big. Much larger than any others I’ve been in contact with. Not that there have been a lot. In fact, there has only been one. Just Joey. And that experience lacked any kind of luster for a repeat performance. Granted, it was the first time for both of us, but even so, I’ve decided not to take part in such activities again. There’s been no one, and I promised myself after the Joey incident—that’s what I’m calling it—that I would never offer my body to someone again just for the sake of getting it over with.

  I feel the bed dip and his hand as he rubs my back. “Hey, sleepyhead.”

  I count to ten slowly in my head before doing a slow blink with my eyes, which I’m sure looks fake as hell. “What time is it?” I ask, rubbing my eyes. Doesn’t matter. I still see his impressive cock before he slides his boxer briefs up over his hips.

  “Just after nine. We have practice. I didn’t want to leave without telling you. We’ll be back in a few hours. You girls stay. We’ll grab something to eat when we all get back.”

  “I have laundry to do and need to start packing.”

  “I’ll help you pack. Stay.” His voice is soft, not really pleading, but I can tell by his tone of voice that he really wants me to be here when he gets back. I’ve never denied Cooper anything, so why start now? “Fine, but you’re buying lunch or dinner or whatever we’re calling it. And we have to start packing after.”

  “Deal.” He leans in and kisses my temple. “
Go back to sleep, Reese’s Pieces.” He stands and walks out the door, shutting it softly behind him.

  I can hear the guys as they clamber up and down the hall, and their heavy footfalls as they march down the stairs. The front door slams, and then silence surrounds me. I close my eyes and will myself to go back to sleep. However, that plan is short-lived when Cooper’s bedroom door flies open, and Tessa is standing there, hands on her hips, still wearing one of Nixon’s T-shirts that I assume she either slept in or slipped on for this little intervention we’re about to have. I don’t need her words. I can tell by the look on her face she has questions, and she’s going to expect answers.

  She doesn’t wait for an invitation. She saunters into the room, and slides into the bed, slipping under the covers, then turns on her side. I feel her stare, and I know I’m not getting out of this, so I turn to face her as well.

  “Morning.”

  “Morning. You ready to spill?” She jumps straight in to the good stuff.

  “It’s too early for an interrogation, Tessa.”

  Her eyes soften. “It’s not so much an interrogation as me being worried about you.”

  “I’m fine. I had to use the bathroom, and then I was exhausted. I decided to just go to bed.” I’ve delivered my story perfectly.

  “You can play that card with the guys, and maybe even Cooper, but I’m not buying it.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. Maybe she’ll sense my anguish and decide to leave it alone? Slowly, I open my eyes, and she’s still lying next to me with a look of worry on her face. “It took me by surprise, that’s all.”

  “Janie, I assume, was your best friend, Janie?”

  “Yeah, I mean, we still talk. She went to college in California, so we don’t see each other. She never let on that it happened. Literally, she was his date that night. I went with Joey, the four of us hung out and then stayed up in my parents’ basement watching movies and listening to music. I had no idea.”

  “Sounds like he had no idea either?”

  “Yeah. I thought that Janie went up to my room to go to bed, and the guys were staying in the guest room. Joey and I were finishing a movie. We started talking, confessions were made, and it just kind of happened.”

  “Janie didn’t tell you about it?”

  “No. And I couldn’t tell. Nothing changed in our little group. Joey and I talked before it even happened that it was just us getting it over with with people we trusted. He and I didn’t harbor any feelings for each other, and nothing was weird between us. We were friends.”

  “Best friends?” She raises her eyebrows.

  “No. Cooper has always held that title.”

  “What about Janie?”

  “She was my closest girl friend, but still, Cooper and I were closer.”

  “Yet you didn’t tell each other about two monumental moments in your lives? Why do you think that is, Reese?”

  “Because I wanted it to be him.” My words are barely audible even to me, but the way her eyes widen, I know she heard me.

  “You need to tell him.”

  “No. No way. It’s not worth the risk. I can’t lose him. He’s been the biggest part of my life since I was eight years old. No way am I willing to lose that.”

  “What happens if you don’t lose it? I think he feels the same way.”

  “Right.” I laugh. “Look, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I’m not even close to the girls he dates. You’re more his type than I am.”

  “You’re wrong. I see the way he looks at you.”

  “Like a girl who has been his best friend since childhood?”

  “No, like the girl he wants but thinks he can’t have.”

  “We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this one.” My mind is already all over the place after last night and this morning. I still can’t believe I saw him… all of him. I don’t need this to confuse me even more.

  “What’s that blush about?” Tessa asks.

  Damn, my best friend doesn’t miss anything.

  “Nothing.”

  “Lies.” She pokes me in the arm. “Come on, I need details. Did he kiss you? Did he make a move?” Her eyes sparkle with excitement.

  “No, you crazy person, he didn’t kiss me or make a move. I just… saw something.” A very well-endowed something.

  “What?” She’s confused.

  “He just got out of the shower. He didn’t know I was awake.”

  “You saw him naked?” I nod. “What are we talking here? Like bare chest? Ass? Full frontal? Talk to me, woman,” she says enthusiastically.

  “Don’t you have a boyfriend?” I remind her.

  “But I’m not dead. I care about Nixon, but damn, Cooper is hot.” She holds up her hand. “No offense, and I’d never go after your man.”

  “He’s not my man.”

  “Mmhmm. Let’s get back to exactly what it is that you saw.”

  “He dropped the towel,” I whisper, as if someone might overhear us.

  “Front or back, Reese. You’re killing me here.”

  “Front.”

  She pretends to fan herself. “Give it to me straight. He’s huge, right? I mean, all that confidence he walks around with, he has to be huge. It can’t just be his good looks and skills on the field that garner that kind of ‘I’ve got this’ attitude.”

  I nod.

  “A nod. That’s all I get is a simple nod? Girl, I need more than that. Details, woman. I need details.”

  “I don’t know.” Embarrassment flushes my cheeks. “It’s not like I whipped out a ruler and took the exact measurement.”

  “The fact that you need a ruler says it all. Nothing under five inches is worth measuring and you can eyeball that.”

  “He wasn’t hard, Tessa.”

  “Exactly! And you still needed a ruler.”

  I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. “Thank you. I needed a good laugh.”

  “Girl, what you need is Cooper to give you some of his inches.”

  “Is that what works for you? Nixon’s inches?”

  “Damn straight. I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

  “You made him wait six months.”

  “He earned it, now he gets this.” She runs her hand up the side of her body. “Anytime he wants.”

  “You’re terrible.”

  “You ready to go home and start packing?”

  I bite down on my bottom lip. “Coop asked me to stay. Said we could all grab lunch when they get home. I made him promise they would come and help us pack if we did.”

  “Oh, my bestie is a genius.”

  “Right? Free labor, and he has to pay for lunch.”

  “So, what do we do now?” she asks. “Go back to sleep?”

  “Nah, as much as I’d like to, I’m wide awake.”

  “Me too. Let’s go see what they have to eat in this place.”

  Together, we make our way to the kitchen and end up eating leftover pizza from last night. Nothing beats cold pizza for breakfast. We lounge around the rest of the morning. We did pick up from the get-together last night, and tossed all the trash, wiped off the counters, before settling in the living room and watching a movie.

  “This is nice to come home to,” Nixon says about an hour into the movie. He bends to kiss Tessa. “Glad you stayed.”

  “Thank Reese, or better yet, Cooper. It was his idea.”

  “See how this could be? I could come home to you every day.” Nixon bats his eyelashes at Tessa.

  “You’re relentless.”

  “Just when it comes to you,” he replies.

  “How was practice?” I ask Cooper when he sits on the arm of the couch next to me.

  “Good. Team is tight this year. Let me grab a shower, and we can go get some food.” He squeezes my shoulder and heads toward the stairs. “Did you all pick up?” he asks.

  “Yeah.”

  “Thank you.”

  “See,” Nixon says, taking a step back from Tessa. “This could be t
he life.”

  “Me picking up after you all the time? No, thanks.”

  “Babe.” He clutches his chest. “You wound me.”

  “Go, you stink. Why didn’t you guys shower after practice?”

  “We were in a hurry to get home.” He blows her a kiss and rushes up the stairs.

  “That’s Cooper’s influence. You know that, right?”

  “He probably just felt bad that he asked me to stay and just wanted to get back sooner. That, and I’m sure he’s starving.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Reese.”

  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I know Cooper, and Tessa is wrong. Too bad my heart can’t help but wish that I wasn’t.

  Chapter 7

  Cooper

  “How is it possible that two tiny little women managed to pack so much shit into a single dorm room?” Nixon asks.

  “They have their own bathroom.”

  He stares at me with a blank expression. “They use a ton of shit they don’t need, to get ready every day.”

  “And the clothes,” he says, taping a box shut. “I’ve been dating Tessa for a year, and haven’t seen her wear half of this shit,” he grumbles.

  “Don’t question it, man. Just roll with it.”

  “I don’t understand women.” He shakes his head in utter confusion.

  “You don’t have to understand them, but imagine your life without her.”

  “I don’t want to. Seriously, Coop, she’s it for me.” His tone is serious, and the grin that’s pulling at his lips tells me that his revelation is not something new.

  “It?” I ask him.

  “Yeah. You know, the forever and ever, all the bathroom shit, and clothes she wants. Marriage and babies forever.”

  “We’re starting our second year of college. We’re not even of legal drinking age yet.” I don’t know why I’m surprised. From the very first meeting, he’s been head over heels for Tessa.

  He shrugs. “When you know, you know.”

  “I guess so,” I say dismissively. It’s not like he’s going to propose today or anything.