Anything Your Heart Desires

by AJ Adaire

  Standing up, Stacy said, “Mom, I'm bushed, and I want to call Jo tonight before I go to bed. I also have some work to do and a couple of calls I want to make. We can talk more tomorrow morning. Okay?” Stacy leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her mother's head. Gathering the paper plates and napkins, she cleaned off the table and turned to go to her room.

  “Stacy? Can we wait to tell your father about this? Maybe it'd be better if you bring Jo down and we tell him after he meets her. Otherwise, we can come up for a visit. Would that be okay?”

  “Sure. That's a great idea. Please don't worry about me, Mom. I'm really very happy. In fact, I’m happier than I've been in longer than I'm willing to admit.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way. I just...”

  “I know, Mom. Everything will be fine. You’ll know it as soon as you meet her.”

  “I can’t help worrying just a little. It’s a mother’s duty.”

  Stacy laughed. “I know.”

  Okay, Honey. I love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  Chapter 21

  STACY CALLED JO THE minute she was alone in her room.

  “Hi, Honey. How's your dad?” Jo asked after the brief greeting they’d shared. Jo adjusted the phone and settled back in her chair.

  “Hi yourself! He's doing much better. Turns out it was angina, not a heart attack. He might come home tomorrow if everything goes well overnight.”

  “How's your mom holding up?”

  “Good, really. My sister was with her most of last night. Then she came back this afternoon. I had a good talk with both of them. I told them about us.”

  Jo was surprised. “What'd you tell them?”

  “I told them I was in love. Really, the conversation with my mother was funny in some ways. I'll tell you about it when I get home.”

  “They were both okay with you being involved with a woman?”

  “Seems so. Both of them told me they still love me. Mom asked me to wait to tell my dad. Makes sense.”

  “Stacy, I love you…”

  “Do I hear a ‘but’ there?”

  “No, not really. Uh, it’s just…” Jo exhaled a worried breath. “Honey, are you sure about all of this? I mean, well, we haven't even slept together yet. How can you be so sure?”

  “We've slept together. You don't snore and you don't have stubble in the morning.”

  “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

  Stacy’s sigh indicated her exasperation. “I told you, I love you, and there will never be anyone else for me. Besides, I know that we'll be good together in bed. Do you disagree?

  Jo knew in her heart they would be good together, too. “No. I do agree with you. It's just that I don't want you to be hurt. If you tell people and they don't accept that you've changed, it’s really hard when people reject you. I don't want that to ever happen to you. It would be especially unfair if it happened before you're sure.”

  “Jo. I keep telling you I am sure. I'm happy I found you and that I'm finally in love. I thought it would never happen for me. Now that it has, I want to shout it from the rooftops. It's not my issue if people don't approve. It's theirs. If they don't approve of me and you, I don't want that type of person for a friend.”

  “And you call me brave. You are braver than I ever was. Until recently I lived in the closet.”

  “Would you rather that I not tell people about us?”

  Jo mulled the question for a few seconds. “I don't know. It’s just that I’m afraid you’ll be hurt.”

  “I see.” For a few blank seconds, no one spoke. Finally, Stacy said, “If I’d fallen in love with a man, everyone would be happy for me. Even you are reticent to announce that we love each other. Why? Heterosexuals take out newspaper announcements to tell the world they love each other and plan to marry.”

  “Yes, but that's a heterosexual relationship, it’s one that society approves of—it's different for us. Although things are changing, there are still a lot of people who think what we feel, what we do, is wrong.”

  Stacy thought about what Jo had said. “Well, if people think that my being in love with you is something they view as wrong, they’re just going to have to get over it. I know what I feel is right. And that's all there is to it.”

  “I keep waiting for you to change your mind about all this.”

  “I know you do. It's not going to happen. I'm not a schoolgirl, Jo. I've lived long enough to know what I want, and what I want is you.”

  “You amaze me. I want you, too.”

  “Tell me more about that. You said you knew we'd be good together. Tell me about what our first time making love will be like. I want every detail. Where will we be?”

  “Well, maybe we’ll be in your room. We'll have more room there.”

  “No, first you'll meet me at the stairs with a kiss when I come home.”

  “Okay, I'll meet you at the stairs with a kiss.” Jo hesitated a moment. “You know you weren't fair on Saturday. You kissed me and made me promise not to move. Do you know that when you fell asleep with your hand on my breast I was awake for like two hours? I wanted you so much. Sadly, I was a coward. I was afraid to tell you how I felt, afraid to act on my feelings.”

  “Hmm. And here I thought you were being honorable, just keeping your word that you wouldn't say anything or move.”

  Jo laughed, getting into the fun of their teasing. “No. I was so shocked when you kissed me and then put your hand on my breast, I think it took me a couple of hours to finally admit that I was willing to ignore my life rules and act on my feelings. I mean I knew I was in love with you before that. I was still just being stupid.”

  “Okay, you're getting off track here. Let’s get back to our first shared kiss. Next time, I expect you to kiss me back.”

  Jo exhaled a long sigh. “Remember, you can’t blame me for that. That was your idea and yours alone. Hmm…this is tough. Okay. I imagine that, at first, it'll be soft, because I already know that you have soft lips. We'll start slow and sweet. First, I'll kiss you easy. Maybe nibble a little on your fabulous mouth. I want to sink into that dimple you torture me with. When I've had my fill of that, I want to kiss your neck then come back to your lips. I'll kiss you more seriously that time, and it’ll build ‘til one of us starts to explore with her tongue.”

  “That'll be me. I want to taste you.”

  “Mmm. Our tongues will meet and the heat will start to build between my legs.”

  “Mine, too.”

  Jo opened her collar. “So, I'll slip my hands under your shirt and explore your back as we continue our kissing.”

  “Umm, I love kissing.” Stacy’s voice was husky. “And I'm going to love kissing you. I keep thinking back to when we were dancing together. I could feel your breasts against mine. My nipples felt like stones.”

  “I know. I could feel them.”

  “Oh God, Jo, I want you so much.” Stacy blew out a puff of air and wiped the perspiration that had accumulated on her forehead. “We have to stop this. I have work to do, and I’ll be in no condition to do it if we keep talking like this. I wish I'd have let you come with me. I know it was sensible for you not to come. It made more sense for you to submit my report, and you need to work tomorrow. Maybe we should end this conversation while I can still stand up so I can finish up what I need to do on that report.”

  “How far is it to get down to where you are?”

  Stacy laughed. “It’s too far and too late. Just think how good it will be when we finally do get together.”

  Jo smiled, just imagining. “Yes, it will be. I can promise you that it will be.”

  “I'm counting on it. I'd better let you go. I’m sorry I can’t rub your leg before you go to bed.”

  “I can rub it. It's just not the same without you doing it.”

  Stacy looked at her calendar. “I'll be home in a couple of days. I plan to rub your leg and a few other areas that I have high hopes will be a lot more fun and much more responsive.”<
br />
  Jo exhaled. “You're killing me.”

  “Maybe I'd better read that novel you gave me over again so I'll know what to do. What do you think?”

  “I think you'll know. You have all the same equipment I have, so you should be familiar with what makes it work.”

  “I'm a little nervous,” Stacy admitted. “I don't want to disappoint you.”

  “It's impossible. Just holding you last night made me happier than I've been in, well, I guess just about forever. Anything more than that will be like icing on the cake.”

  “Hope you're not on a diet, 'cause I plan to see that you get plenty of icing. Don't forget that hands-on final exam I have to pass. I'll need some one-on-one hands-on tutoring.”

  Stacy could feel Jo’s grin over the phone. “I'm your girl, then.” Jo glanced at her watch. “I’d better let you go. I'll talk to you in the morning when I get in to work. I'll talk to Nic first, and then call you a little after ten. Or is it better for you to call me?”

  “Send me a text. I'll call you back as soon as I can.”

  “Okay, love you. Good night.”

  “I love you, too. G'night.”

  Chapter 22

  NIC, DANA, MALLORY, AND Amanda got together for brunch at Mallory and Amanda’s on Sunday morning, the day after their celebratory dinner and night out dancing.

  “That was fun last night. Dinner was good, and we had fun at the bar afterward. I can't tell you the last time we danced so much.” Mallory passed the salad to Dana. “We should do that more often.”

  Nic nodded and tugged her ear. “We've been so busy getting the business up and running that we've been working harder than we did when we worked for other people. You're right. We should do it more often. It was nice that Stacy and Jo came along. They are so cute together. They both seem interested in each other. I think Jo and that damned rule number two thing is kind of discouraging Stacy from saying anything.”

  “I don't know.” Mallory winked at Nic and took the salad bowl she handed her. “They looked pretty cozy last night. That slow dance they were doing just before Meg came over was sort of steamy for two people who aren’t in a relationship. They sure looked like they were more than just friends. Who do you think will end up getting hurt if they can't agree they want to move forward?”

  Nic shrugged. “No telling. I'm reasonably certain that Stacy will make the first move. She asked me what she should do about rule number two.”

  “What did you tell her, Honey?” Dana rested her hand on her lover’s thigh.

  Nic grinned. “I told her that it would be hard for Jo to say no if her mouth was busy or something to that effect.”

  “Is that the tactic you used on me?” Dana pinched Nic's thigh.

  “Ouch. No, as I recall, it was more like the approach you took. I'd promised you I wouldn't make the first move and I didn't.”

  Amanda jumped in. “Whoa! I can’t believe I’d forgotten that Dana made the first move on you.”

  “Yes, I guess I did. Nic chased me until she let me catch her.” Dana giggled. “However, it certainly wasn’t without encouragement, for sure. We were so hot for each other it was just bound to happen. Maybe that's what will happen with those two.”

  Mallory changed the subject. “Hey, did any of you think that Meg's behavior was the least bit strange? Nic thought it was just because she was drinking. I got such a weird vibe over the whole incident. I've known Meg for quite a while, and I've never known her to act like that. She's always been so kind and gentle. She was just so different last night.”

  “Maybe it was a combination of booze and that knock she took on the head,” Amanda suggested.

  Dana looked to Mallory, “Is that possible for someone to have a change in personality like that after a shock to the head like she took?”

  “Yes, absolutely. Meg had a serious concussion and suffered memory loss from the blow to her head. I was concerned when she apologized last night. Didn't she say something like she just couldn't get Jo out of her head, or she couldn't let her go?”

  Everyone nodded. There was a lull in the conversation as everyone started to eat. Nic grabbed a slice of garlic bread from the basket and took a bite. “Umm, this is good Amanda.”

  “Thanks, Nic. Back to Meg. Her behavior seems a bit obsessive to me. I know she was drinking last night. However, she's already demonstrated memory loss caused by her injury. Minimal Traumatic Brain Injury, or MTBI, can also result in a lot of the symptoms she displayed last night. I don’t know how much she had to drink before she confronted Jo. It’s possible she might possibly be having some hypersensitivity to alcohol as well. I'm just saying that although Nic and Jo handled her very well, you have to admit that she was pretty threatening. She made me very uncomfortable.”

  Nic set her fork on the plate. “I don’t know. She seemed really drunk. I hope she doesn't drink to that excess again. She obviously has trouble handling her alcohol and her attitude, especially where Jo is concerned.”

  Mallory frowned. “You know, she had a pretty serious concussion. Maybe next time I see her I'll suggest she mention any symptoms she’s having to her doctor. I'm just saying that something about her wasn't right last night. It made me really uneasy.”

  Nic’s phone signaled she had a text. She reached into her pocket to check it. “It's from Jo. Excuse me. I think I should check it.” She snapped her cover closed after reading the text. “Mrs. Alexander called after we got home last night with some bad news. Stacy’s mother told her that her father had chest pains, a possible heart attack. Stacy left for home early this morning, and Jo has already finished some translation for her that she wants me to check on Monday morning. She’ll have more later in the week when they finish it.”

  Nic texted a response indicating she'd be glad to help out and to be sure to let them know if there was anything they could do for either of them.

  Jo responded with her appreciation and that she'd see Nic at the office Monday morning at ten.

  Chapter 23

  STACY WAS TIRED AFTER her long drive down, the day at the hospital, and the strain of coming out to her family. Still, she wanted to call her friend Maria. After some small talk, Maria asked Stacy why she hadn't been in touch lately. “I'm glad to hear from you. I was about to send out the hounds!”

  “I've been busy falling in love. Are you sitting down?” Stacy released a nervous giggle.

  “Falling in love? Well…wait. Let me get my tea.” There were some sounds of movement on the other end of the phone as Maria got her cup and settled. “Okay, I'm sitting down. This ought to be good. So who is he?”

  “Well, it's not a he, it's a she. Her name is Jo.”

  After a brief pause, Maria said in an even tone a statement rather than a question, “Really…When did you switch teams?”

  “Well, I just confessed last night that I’m in love with her. Then my dad had a heart attack and I had to leave for my parents home. I'm there now, so nothing happened, and she's still in New York.”

  “So I can't even ask you what the sex is like?” Maria chuckled.

  “Nope, not yet. That's not all there is to it. She's a wonderful person. She used to be a policewoman, so she's in great shape. She has these four wonderful friends that I've become friendly with. To me, the most important thing is that we talk. We talk all the time.” Stacy explained about her living arrangements over the past five weeks and how she and Jo had grown increasingly closer until she finally realized that she was in love with her.

  “I have to admit I'm surprised. Had I known, I might have made a play for you myself. I always thought you were cute.”

  “What are you talking about, Maria? You're straight.”

  “For the most part. But I have taken a walk or two with the other team before.”

  “You never told me.”

  “Nope. It wasn't a subject that ever came up before.” Maria explained that her first experience was in high school with her best friend. “Then the second time, I was drunk and thi
s woman made a pass. I thought why not?”

  “I can't believe you never told me. I thought we share pretty much everything.”

  “We do, but like I said, by the time I met you, all that was history.” Maria blew on her tea. “Besides, you always seemed so sweet and innocent that I was afraid to tell you.”

  “Really?” Stacy absorbed this new information about her close friend. “I can’t believe you never told me.”

  “Don’t be hurt. Since I wasn’t dating very much then, I think it probably just never came up.” Maria paused, considering the question. “Truth is, I think I’ve always found women more interesting and I enjoy sex with women.”

  “I thought we knew pretty much everything about each other. You really surprised me. Well, at least it's a relief to know I haven't horrified you. Jo and her friends have told me stories about people they know whose families and friends disowned them because they came out to them. I told my mom and my sister tonight. I can't say they're overjoyed, although they both told me that they still love me.”

  “So tell me more about Ms. Right.”

  Stacy talked for a few minutes about Jo and the others. When she finished, Maria updated her on her own news. They both laughed when Maria admitted her news was relatively mundane when she compared it to Stacy's.

  As their conversation wound down, Maria asked, “Will I see you this trip?” She lived about two hours north of Stacy's hometown.

  “Not this trip. I'm only staying until my dad is okay and he can come home. I'm anxious to get back to New York.”

  “I bet you are!”

  “Oh, stop. Why don't you come up for a weekend and meet Jo and my other friends?”

  “I'd love to. Call me when you get home and get things all settled.”

  They bid each other goodnight with Stacy promising to call soon.

  Checking the time, Stacy considered what to do. Nine o'clock. Not too late to talk to Monique. The kids should be in bed by now. I probably won't get to see her this trip, so at least I'll touch base with her.