Damaged and the Outlaw

by Bijou Hunter

  Sure, I could punch her hard and knock her ass down. I knew how to fight and it didn’t involve screaming like an idiot and doing windmills with my arms. On the other hand, if I hit her and she fell, I just knew she’d land on me. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but Vaughn was there and I didn’t want him laughing at me.

  Except he was laughing at me. I caught sight of him clapping and laughing as I ran away from Trina. The fucker thought my horror was hilarious and maybe it was, but I was still pissed. Now, I needed to win and there was only one way to ensure I knocked the ever living shit out of Trina Warrior Princess.

  Rage.

  Stored deep inside me, rage waited for the right or not so right moments to break free. Now, was a perfect time, so I thought about Phoenix. The way my little brother followed me around all of the time. How he cuddled in my bed when the monsters under his bed scared him. Mostly, I thought about how he looked dead in the pool with his little truck floating nearby.

  When all that rage rose up in me, I unleashed it on Trina who was still chasing me around the cage.

  The first punch took her off-guard. The second one to her jaw made her stumble. Trina tried to hit me back and I think she might have gotten a shot in, but I was too angry to care. Too many ugly memories haunted me and I took them all out on her face.

  Soon, she was on the ground, her body caving under my fists. Her cries no longer of the warrior sort. Trina felt the wrath of my disappointing life. Not just mine, but those of Lark and Phoenix. Before Axel pulled me off my crying opponent, I found myself punishing the people who would take Vaughn’s life one day soon. I hated them without knowing their names or faces. I didn’t care who they were or why they wanted Vaughn dead. They were fucking evil and I wailed on Trina until Axel dragged me out of the cage to the frenzied applause of the crowd.

  I’d given them a show and taught Trina a lesson, but the rage didn’t just leave me once the fight was over. I felt so much pain and hate. The hot water of the shower washed away the blood, mine and Trina’s. My inner pain was barely dulled.

  The only way I calmed myself was to imagine those nights hiding in the closet with Phoenix and Lark. Cuddled together, we were safe in each other’s arms as Margo and her asshole husband fought. I couldn’t even remember the fucker’s name anymore. One day, I might forget the little golden highlights in Phoenix’s hair or the freckles on the tip of his nose. I hated to think his life meant to little.

  Overwhelmed with those memories, I wanted to see Lark and hold her against me like I did in the closet. I couldn’t though. I was banged up and she was likely resting for the evening. Having ditched her to run away, I was on the outside now.

  Walking past Trina as her friend patched up her face, I just wanted to get outside where I could breathe. In the hallway, people tried talking to me. Yet, I heard nothing more than Lark’s sobs as I jumped into the pool to save Phoenix.

  By the time I got into the dark night, I wiped hard at my wet eyes and told myself to get a grip. He was dead and had been dead for longer than he lived. That awful day couldn’t be changed and he wasn’t coming back. Crying was pointless.

  Hearing footsteps on the gravel parking lot, I glanced back and saw Vaughn approaching. I turned away and wiped at my eyes with more vigor. Crying was embarrassing enough without Vaughn watching.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  Something about his tone and the scent of his chocolate body spray relaxed me too much. I dove against him and hugged him the way I couldn’t hug Lark. Vaughn tensed when I first grabbed for him then relaxed against me. His arms wrapped around me and he stroked my head. Soaking in his strength, I was safe with Vaughn and I needed to feel safe.

  “I’m glad you were here,” I mumbled against his chest.

  Vaughn tensed and I finally let him go. Staring up at him, I saw something in his expression that I hadn’t seen before. Vaughn stepped back. Not in a real obvious way, but I felt the distance between us. It killed me that he wanted out. Well, not out. We weren’t together and never would be. I knew this fact, but maybe he didn’t know I knew.

  “I get the score,” I told Vaughn. “I know we’re just friends. You look at me like I’m in love with you, but I left town and people got used to me being gone. My friends all have men and some have kids. Lark has Aaron and needs to rest. The people I’m used to relying on are busy with their lives, so I grab onto Bailey and you. That’s all it is.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you? The look on your face seems like you think I’m a needy bitch. I mean, if you’re just sick of having me around or need a break or whatever, I get that. If you’re thinking I’m holding onto you because I expect something from you like dating or whatever, then don’t worry.”

  Vaughn looked at me for a long time. I suspected he was wondering how to tell me to fuck off. He had that look on his face and I waited for him to say the words.

  “Do you like to bowl?” he asked.

  Remembering what Aaron said, I nearly jumped up and down in relief. Instead, I only shrugged. “Sure. I’m pretty good too. Why?”

  “We could go bowling. I should warn you that I’m like championship bowler good. I’ll crush you.”

  “If you’re so good, why didn’t you go pro?”

  “Peaches, don’t be stupid. I’m too damn hot to be a pro bowler. I don’t even have a gut to work with.”

  Caressing his hard stomach, I smiled. “I’m sorry your good looks kept you from your dream.”

  A grinning Vaughn cupped my face and kissed me hard and hungry. I met his need with my own. Forgetting about friends with benefits or boundaries, I only knew he felt strong and safe. He felt like home and I didn’t want to let go.

  Chapter Twelve – Vaughn

  I grew up in a bowling alley. My mom started as the cashier when I was little and ended up as a manager by the time I was in middle school. Every time we moved, the one constant was the bowling alley. Every evening, I did my schoolwork there, ate my dinner there, and entertained myself there. My afterschool friends were all league people, mostly the elderly. My father figures were the older guys who showed me how to bowl. Often the regulars would help me with school projects and they were the ones who threw me birthday parties when my mom couldn’t. All of it ended when Mom became Ted’s old lady and my life revolved around the motorcycle club instead of the alley.

  Stupid as it was, bowling was a special thing for me. I didn’t take chicks on dates to the alley. Ever. Taking Raven to the alley was a mistake. I was already having trouble separating what I wanted from her and what I could have. I need more barriers between us, not less. Except when I asked if she wanted to bowl, she was too excited for me to change my mind.

  I reached the alley first on my Harley because Raven didn’t have the luxury of maneuvering around traffic. Sitting on my bike, I told myself taking her to the alley didn’t mean anything. Nothing with Raven was real. It was easy fun. She was just a friend and I bowled with friends.

  Raven nearly bounced from where she parked her old jeep to where I waited. I wanted to play it cool, but she looked too perfect. Beautiful and excited, Raven was a sight. I also saw the redness around her eyes from when she cried before I got outside. I didn’t know what brought on the tears and didn’t have the courage to ask. I also noticed a few new bruises rising up on her beautiful face.

  Thinking about her in the cage, I was shocked by how crazy she seemed. The way she went from running away from her larger opponent to attack mode was impressive, but a little scary. Fortunately, I found crazy, scary chicks hot.

  “I haven’t been here since I moved back,” Raven said, smiling up at me.

  “Prepared to be crushed,” I said, attempting for distance between us.

  Raven ignored my tone and slid up against me. I felt the heat from her skin and the dampness from her clean hair. I thought about how she laughed when in the shower with me. I recalled how her eyes watched me before we dozed off in bed. I hated her for being irresistible.

 
; “Can we get pizza or hot dogs?” she asked, digging her fingers under my shirt and teasing the skin. “I’ll pay.”

  “What about mooching?” I asked, fixing her messy hair.

  “I reward my friends when they support me. I was feeling crappy and you gave me a great hug. You deserve a free hot dog.”

  “Is it wrong that I got hard when you said hot dog?” I asked, leaning down to nip at her pouty lips.

  “No more wrong than how wet my panties are from thinking about your hot dog, Turner and Cock.”

  “I like Cocker and Hoochie better.”

  “It does have a nice ring to it, but let’s bowl first.”

  Grinning, I took her hand. I knew we were acting like a couple, but that was fine. With a line of Harleys in the parking lot, I suspected we’d have eyes on us. Well, eyes on Raven and I didn’t want the assholes getting any ideas.

  The minute we walked inside, the assholes noticed Raven. In her sweat shorts and a light green tank, Raven was showing off a lot of flesh. I would have enjoyed the view and didn’t blame them for doing it too. Except she was with me and that made her mine. No matter how temporary our relationship might be, the fuckers were leering at my woman.

  Once Raven had her shoes and ball, I said I would order us food. Before I made it to the concession stand, I stopped to say hi to the out-of-towners. The head guy looked like Santa Claus after a few years on meth and some time in the slammer. He tried to shake my hand and might have been ready to compliment my hot date. I never gave him a chance.

  “I’m Jeff,” the head fucker said.

  “I’m Outlaw. If you look at my girl one more time, I’ll cut your fucking faces off to make a puppet show for her. Do you understand?”

  “Man…”

  “Do you understand?” I asked again.

  “Fine, asshole. Hard to believe such a nice guy has a contract on his head.”

  “I killed a few guys to get that contract and I’ll kill a few more tonight. No skin off my ass if I remove your fucking faces.”

  Turning away, I left them to bitch or maybe jump me. They played it safe and let me walk away. I ordered a dozen dogs and two big sodas then returned to Raven.

  Sitting in one of the swivel chairs, Raven had her legs parted and was swaying back and forth. An absent-minded seductress in a place filled with pervy old men and barely behaving bikers. I wondered if she had any idea what she did to men. Raven looked at me and smiled. She knew.

  “Did you scare those losers?” she asked, standing next to me and looking over the food. “Would it be wrong to say I got a little wet when I saw you glaring at them?”

  Grinning, I kissed the top of her head. “I get you so horny, don’t I, Gidget?”

  “I like that one. Makes me seem cute.”

  “You are cute.”

  “As a button?”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  Mouth full of hot dog, she grinned then wiped her hands on her shorts and picked up the ball. I half watched her position and form. Mostly, I watched her sway her ass at me. Raven rolled and managed to take down eight pins. She smiled at me like a kid looking for approval. The expression on her face killed me and I fucking clapped. How could I not?

  Raven’s smile softened and I saw such vulnerability in her eyes. I could crush her tonight. For whatever reason, she was open to me more than ever before. If I treated her cruelly, I could crush her and end this pointless dance between us. In my life, I could have done many evil things and never did. I wouldn’t hurt Raven. At least, not tonight.

  After knocking down a pin on her second try, she joined me at the table.

  “Will you wiggle your ass at me now?” she asked, batting her lashes.

  “Hell yeah. Try not to come at the sight of it.”

  Raven spit up her soda and kept giggling while I shook my ass while aiming up my shot. When I made a strike, she clapped and bounced for me.

  A few hot dogs, soda refills, and strikes later, Raven was on my lap nibbling at my ear.

  “What were you yelling during the fight?” she whispered. “I saw you yelling, but couldn’t hear you over the noise.”

  “I wasn’t yelling. I was cawing.”

  “Huh?”

  “Like a raven caws.”

  As Raven laughed into the crook of my neck, I wrapped her tightly in my arms. She felt so good and I swear she was wearing my body spray. When her eyes met mine, she smiled.

  “What happened in the fight tonight?” I asked. “It was like you flipped a switch and were suddenly a raging bull.”

  “I just thought about everything that pissed me off in life and I made it the chick’s fault.”

  “Well, you made her pay. She nailed you in the jaw at one point and you didn’t even blink. It was crazy,” I said then added, “Sexy crazy.”

  Raven traced my lips before her fingers caressed my stubbled cheeks and jaw. As her fair blue eyes studied my face in the most relaxed way, everything around us felt too loud now. We were sharing a private unspoken moment in a very public place.

  “I wanted to work at a bowling alley,” I told her and Raven met my gaze. “Growing up, I wanted to own one really. I loved the sound of the ball hitting the pins. This place is a lot like the ones my mom worked in when I was a kid and it feels like home to me. Nothing else feels like a home. Not anymore. In Ellsberg, I’m an outsider and my apartment feels temporary. In fact, when I came here, I was put up in the building where Kirk keeps his visiting friends. Like when the big wigs from Memphis come, they stay in the building. That’s why it’s so empty. The Johanssons own it and no one there is planning to stick around. I’ve lived there for three years and it still feels like a place I’m visiting. The alley feels like home.”

  Raven watched me in a way that told me she understood. Not the way a pretty girl fake sympathizes with the guy she likes. No, Raven knew what if felt like to be on the outside.

  “I have a cabin though,” I continued as she caressed my face. “Kirk sold me a chunk of his land in the woods and I built a cabin out there. I only go a few times a month. It’s mine in a way few things are.”

  “You go out there alone?” I nodded and Raven sighed. “I’m afraid I’ll end up the girl everyone feels sorry for. Like in a few years, Lark and all my friends will be settled and I’ll be the loser they invite along out of pity. I don’t want to be that person, but I don’t know how not to be her. I’m not good at anything besides fighting and roller derby. I can’t do even the most basic math. Like I’m just stupid about that stuff and I’m a shitty waitress. I have no skills. Also, I have a way of ruining good things and holding onto bad things. I don’t know how to be different.” Raven blinked a few times and exhaled raggedly. “I don’t know why I told you that.”

  “Because we’re friends and both losers.”

  “You’re no loser.”

  “I fucked up and ruined my life. Now, I wait for the bullet to my brain. That’s not exactly winner behavior.”

  “Fucked up how?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it. We were having fun and I got all feelings and shit.”

  Raven smiled softly. “It must be something in the water because I got all feelings earlier too. Feelings really aren’t our friend, but I am your friend, Vaughn. If you need anything, I’ll help you. I mean, I already give you all those mind blowing orgasms, but I can be helpful in other ways.”

  I let my hand tease the soft flesh on her inner thigh. “Let’s finish up our game then I’ll take you to my place for some of those mind blowing orgasms.”

  “Hot damn,” she murmured, biting my earlobe.

  A few rounds later, we walked into the muggy evening. I had my mind on making her sigh, giggle, and maybe scream. Yeah, most definitely scream.

  The bikers from inside were sitting on their hogs when we got outside and I knew they were waiting for us. Raven was nuzzling my arm and I think she was whispering a love song to my cock. Giggling, she didn’t notice the men until we were ne
arly to my Harley.

  “We’re looking at your woman,” Jeff said. “You gonna cut off our faces now?”

  “Sure, why not?” I announced full of confidence, pushing Raven behind me. “Who wants to go first?”

  “Oh, I don’t think we’re playing by your rules. In fact, we were thinking that the bounty on your head would be a pretty nice chunk of change for our trip to Atlantic City.”

  The killer in me knew these fuckers were ready to shoot me down. I wasn’t ready to die though. Not with Raven behind me, vulnerable to their bullets and dirty thoughts. I’d seen what happened to the Smith sisters in their one week with a small nothing biker gang like this one. I wouldn’t allow Raven to suffer the same fate.

  “Let the girl go and I’ll make killing me easy for you,” I said and Jeff just grinned.

  “There are eight of us and one of you. Easy isn’t a concern.”

  “She’s living at the Johansson place. If you hurt her, Kirk will put a contract on your head and there will be no place to hide.”

  “If we were worried about Kirk, we wouldn’t be willing to kill his man in his territory. The old man is retired and his kid is in charge. Word has it, Cooper is no Kirk.”

  Talking my way out of trouble wasn’t a skill I possessed. My sweet talking worked with chicks, not sick fucks like these guys. I was already thinking about how fast I could reach my gun before they pulled theirs when a shot took out the front tire of Jeff’s Harley.

  “I texted Judd,” Raven yelled from behind me. “He’s coming and he’s bringing help with him. That’s what he said. He’s brining hell and that means you’re going to fucking die.”

  While the fuckers had their guns ready, mine hung from my hand by my thigh.

  “Things are going to get bloody. You ready to die?” I asked Jeff.

  Raven peeked out from behind me and showed off her big fucking Magnum that I assumed Bailey gave her.

  “My next shot is for the head,” she said and I heard the fear in her voice. “I’m not letting them take me. I’m killing them first.”