Little Petty Notions

by Rae Shawn

  "I knew you had that athletic body, I just didn’t know how or why,” So he went with changing the subject. “You could pile the food in, but that body. I dreamt about it for a long time after I left ... To be honest, I still dream about it.”

  My lips tugged at the corner as I lifted an eyebrow. His eyes unabashedly roamed over me. When they returned to my face, he ran his tongue along the slit he created between his lips. The action made heat rush between my legs. No, stop it.

  “I’m just saying, you are hard to forget,” He shrugged. “I missed you and felt like an asshole the entire time. A decade of feeling like a dick can do harm to a person, you know?" I nodded. "After I saw you opened a business and were working in Houston, I didn’t want to bother you. Time had passed and you were living your life. There were plenty of times I wanted to just roll up on you at one of your pop up shops. I knew nothing of that Raiden guy who stole your heart from me, though.”

  “I don’t know why you assume you had my heart in the first place," He cut his eyes at me, but didn't smile. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. "Raiden didn’t- didn’t steal anything.” I wanted to punch myself. How did he get things out of me that I didn't want to say? I sighed and sat up on my elbows.

  “I thought about you often, especially because I grew up in a big football household. My parents talked about the young, healthy, amazing Tra’Mel "Rocket" Denzel. They didn’t even like your team, but they couldn’t stop bringing you up. They didn't know we used to date, though. Since I couldn't avoid a football conversation without you coming up, I told them I didn't like the sport anymore and the conversations diminished. I was hurt. I didn't want to talk about the guy I couldn't have and Raiden … well I truly and wholly loved him, but he didn’t have my heart. I kept it to myself.”

  Tra’Mel smiled, like a genuine full-tooth smile. This smile only came out a few other times that I could remember. It made his freckles show high on his cheeks.

  “I didn’t keep tabs on you because I didn’t want to think about what we had or what we could’ve been. I focused on Raiden, but more importantly I worked to focus on me,” When the smile hadn’t left his lips, my eyebrows dropped. “Why you smiling?”

  He leaned over and kissed me before I knew what happened. The kiss brought everything I kept behind an emotional wall flush against the surface. I fell to the dirt and wrapped my arms around his neck as he shifted his body to fill in the kiss.

  It felt like an unspoken apology was uttered, a clean slate of sorts. A throat cleared and we begrudgingly pulled apart. Our lips lingering together for a few extra seconds.

  “What do we have here?” Demontré asked.

  I wiped the corners of my mouth, pulled myself into a crossed-legged position and gave him a look of complete innocence.

  “Noneya.” I said and Tra’Mel chuckled beside me.

  Not that he had a reason to be nervous or uncomfortable, but he sat with complete confidence.

  “Hey, man. How you doing?” Tra’Mel asked as he got to his feet to shake Demontré’s hand.

  Demontré continued eyeing me, but had a grin on his face as he pulled Tra’Mel in for a bro-hug before answering.

  “I’m good, dawg. Everything in the building still looking alright?”

  “Yeah. I appreciate that. I’m actually in need of a redesign for my waiting area, though,” Tra’Mel said. “A few things don’t exactly work space wise.”

  An aha moment dawned and I realized they knew each other through work. I never got around to asking how he knew to get my number from Demontré.

  “We’ll set something up,” Demontré said before turning his attention back to me. “I was about to go for an afternoon hike and never thought I’d see my girl getting frisky in the middle of the park. What have I missed in the years I haven’t seen you? Is this how you get down now, baby girl?”

  “Boy, bye. Kiss my ass-" I started.

  “I’d gladly do that for him.” Tra’Mel mumbled. I shot him a look and Demontré scrunched his face.

  “As I was saying, You never told me you knew him and weren’t you the one who said to-"

  Demontré pushed my shoulder and I fell to the dirt. I fought a laugh as I got to my feet and started walking away. I knew it wasn’t the end of the conversation, but for now I had my best friend and the guy who apparently still had my heart at my side.

  Even though I didn’t tell him, he knew. Today was a difficult day and that kiss helped, but I still had plenty to deal with.

  For the remainder of the week I tried not to call Raiden to speak to Jaiden every night, but I ended up calling five of the seven days. I spent a good chunk of my time at my studio working on two of the projects that I’d been commissioned to do; one of the paintings and the sculpture that would take a while to complete.

  Tra’Mel wanted to hang out, but I told him I had a lot on my plate, which wasn’t a lie. He did come by my studio twice and I had to remind myself that we weren’t “kids” anymore.

  He was a business owner, as was I. Plus, I had a daughter. We had priorities. I couldn’t start messing around with him just because I wanted to, so I didn’t. I could barely believe how well-behaved I managed to be.

  “So, what’s this?” He asked. I glanced over my shoulder to see what he’d referenced. He’d been walking around the base of the sculpture I took a break from working on. I’d been seated at my easel working on an abstract piece of a tattooed woman’s half-shadowed body from behind.

  “It’s something I’m building.” I answered and turned to continue brushing the canvas with shades of purple.

  “I know that much,” I felt the heat of his breath against the base of my neck. My hair having been up in a bun. “I wanted to know what it would turn into once you finished it.”

  A shiver ran through my body. I sat the paint brush and palette down on the table next to me.

  “It’s going to be one of the largest pieces I’ve ever created. A child and her dog playing. It’s based on a photo.”

  I turned to grab the photo, but his lips captured mine. I leaned into the kiss, deepening it before nudging him away.

  “Go back to work before I paint you,” I warned. “We don’t need people asking questions and I’m trying to get work done. You’re distracting. I don’t have time for your disruptions.”

  “I don’t care who asks questions, it ain’t none of their business,” He pecked my cheek. “And if you want to paint me, I’m all for it. Put the paint on me. I can be your nude model, whatever works.” I tried to swat his arm, but he jumped out of the way before walking off toward the door. “Let me go so I don’t get you further off track.”

  “We aren’t dating, sir. Remember that.” I called as he reached the door. I looked around the easel in time to catch him clutch his heart.

  “You hurt me, Jada Jean’e.” A huge smile crossed his lips when I glared at him.

  “Stop kissing me, Tra’Mel Mikal. Until we start dating, if that ever happens, you cannot put them lips on me again.”

  His mouth tugged at the corner and he looked skyward. “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind, but I have a wager for you," I pursed my lips and crossed my arms. "I keep putting my lips on you, every inch that you used to let me touch so I can remind you why you liked my lips so much.”

  I threw my paint brush at him, but missed terribly. He laughed and blew me a kiss before walking out the door. “Boujou, mô lamou.”

  “You could have brought me my paintbrush, and stop calling me that nickname.” I called after him even though he was gone.

  I told myself I wasn't going to be around him and here I was in his presence like nothing had changed. He reminded me of all the places his mouth had been and now all I wanted was him and his mouth to travel the length of me. Ugh This was about to be super ass messy.

  9

  Jada

  How much fun could Valentine's Day be for a single mother of a toddler who had to deal with a trifling baby daddy, ex-fiance or whatever, and a very sexy, very persist
ent ex-boyfriend?

  I guess I technically wasn’t a single mother, but Raiden didn’t try before I brought her to him and I doubt he will after, plus, he ain’t shit. It baffled me how well he hid his mood swings, anger issues and downright dirty-assness.

  I flew out to pick Jaiden up, and he couldn’t’ve been more ignorant. When I got to the house, some chick sat on the floor playing with Jaiden, which didn’t bother me until she made a comment. At that point I had to remind myself my daughter was in the room.

  “Oh, is this the babysitter?” The chick asked. "She's late, I'd reduce her pay."

  I took a breath and chose not to say anything to her. If I were a betting woman, I’d say she was another one of the chicks he’d been messing around with while we were together.

  “Jaiden, baby, it’s time to go home, mamas.” I smiled as she looked up.

  “Mama.” She exclaimed. As she stood to come toward me, the legos she'd been playing with scattered across the floor. The chick gasped, then grabbed her arm.

  “Raelin, you need to relax.” the chick said to Jaiden.

  Did this bitch just snatch my daughter and call her by her middle name? I lost it, knocking Raiden out of the way on my way to her.

  “If you don’t take your hand off my daughter, you’re going to be doing a hell of a lot of relaxing your damn self.” Raiden caught me around my waist and I elbowed him.

  The chick released Jaiden's arm. Jaiden looked at her like she wanted to claw her eyes out, but I called her name again. I found my composure, at least enough to not act a complete fool in front of my daughter. She turned around and walked over to me like she needed to calm down her own little attitude.

  “Wait, did she call you her mother?” The chick asked.

  “This female been putting her hands on my daughter?” I ignored her, holding Jaiden's hand as I turned to speak to Raiden.

  “Jaiden is fine, Jada.” He responded.

  I picked her up and kissed the top of her head as she hugged me.

  “Can you go with daddy to get your things, mamas?” I asked her, and she nodded before I put her back down.

  Raiden looked at me before disappearing down the hall with our daughter. As soon as they entered her room, I rounded on the chick.

  “I don’t know how long you’ve been seeing him, but let me make one thing clear, do not ever put your hands on my daughter again because trust and believe, they won’t find your body.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Exactly. Excuse you. Just so you know, I don’t make threats, I give assurances. Plenty of places to toss you when I'm done, say the lake down the street. Wanna try me?”

  Before she could respond, Jaiden returned with her backpack on and Raiden carrying her suitcase.

  “Say bye to daddy, mamas.”

  “Bye, papa. Love yous.” She hugged his legs before he squatted down to hug her and kiss her temple.

  A few hours later we were on a flight heading home.

  “So, can I take y’all out for Valentine’s Day or is it too early to ask for that type of commitment?” Tra’Mel asked from the couch while I made lunch for Jaiden two days later.

  Jaiden liked him. I guessed from the time she saw him at D’Nae’s – the day I set up my studio and the brief encounter when we first saw each other – because this was only the third time she'd seen him.

  As she played with her toys, he stood then walked up to the opposite side of the island. He'd been pulled to her mat to join in play time when he came upstairs to grab beers for him and Demontré.

  He initially came to hang out with D, which only made me want to punch both of them since they knew each other so well, but neither felt I should know that in the beginning.

  His consequences were that Jaiden liked playing with him, and he'd been stuck up here for three hours instead of doing whatever he was supposed to be doing downstairs with D.

  At one point Demontré came looking for him and Jaiden roped him into playing as well. It took him an hour to run away, even though he didn’t want to, but he had an afternoon client to meet with.

  I looked up from slicing a banana when he asked his question. We still weren’t dating or whatever, so him asking about Valentine's Day wasn’t even at the back of my mind to be honest. But after dealing with Raiden last week, I didn't really want to be around men in that capacity.

  Like I knew Raiden had his side chicks, but to have a chick in the house like it was normal and comfortable for her, especially after the last one? To have her around our daughter so easily? That felt disrespectful as fuck.

  Could I really talk? Tra'Mel around her right now. I shook the thought from my head. I didn't know how to figure this co-parenting, half-ass shit out. After a minute or two, I hadn’t answered him, so he walked up beside me and took the knife I’d been using to cut up the banana for Jaiden’s sandwich.

  He washed his hands, then finished prepping her food, placing the sliced bananas on top of the peanut butter and honey. When he closed the two slices of bread, he cut it into four triangles and placed them on her plate. Then he took it over to the table and sat it down. Jaiden got up from her toys and walked over to the table after he said the sandwich was ready for "princess consumption."

  She looked at him expectantly, and he lifted her into her chair. It made him smile and me shake my head. She really did warm up to him too much too fast and I still wasn’t even sure I wanted something to happen between us.

  “So, may I?” He asked again.

  I pursed my lips as I placed my hand on my hip. Jaiden smacked on her sandwich beside him completely oblivious. He spotted the cup of milk I’d poured for her, and leaned over to grab it so he could give it to her.

  “I can’t leave her alone,” I found an excuse. “I haven’t gone out for two years.”

  He sat the cup on the table beside her plate, and she picked it up taking a long draw from the straw before going back to her sandwich.

  “One question and one statement.” he said.

  I nodded.

  “He didn’t take the mother of his child out for a romantic night, ever?”

  I shook my head, “Didn’t want to take her out late, so we did things at the house, or he had work.”

  “On Valentine’s Day? Shoot, every day? Any day?”

  “That’s more than one question,” I sighed. “It’s just a day and if I’m being completely honest, I ignored it. I was growing my business, we had our daughter. Probably was a warning sign there, but ...”

  “Hey, JJ.” He waited for me to look at him before continuing.

  “I asked if I can take y’all out? You and Jaiden,” he said, shifting the conversation back. “I know it might be hard to do on Valentine’s Day, but what about the day before or after? When it’s less stigma and reservations are easier to get? It can be early, so she’s not up late. Whatever works for you.”

  I couldn’t hide my smile. I thought me having a daughter would be a deal breaker, I initially wanted it to, but he seemed to be fond of her. I appreciated that, but did I want to present that opportunity for dating when I just raised hell to Raiden about the women he had around Jaiden?

  My resolve felt like it was melting more each day especially after that comment – Tra'Mel wanted to include my daughter. He wasn't trying to replace her father, but he wanted me to enjoy life and that meant including her in stuff too. I nodded before I could catch myself.

  “Wonderful,” he beamed. “I already have somewhere in mind. I’ll get everything in order, and just so you don’t feel some way, you can meet me there. It’s not a far drive and the food is great.”

  “You should ask the other lady you are inviting to dinner or lunch or whatever.” I said as I leaned forward on the counter.

  “Dinner,” he eyed me before turning toward Jaiden and squatting down to be at her level. She licked peanut butter from her fingers as she looked over at him. “Jaiden, I want to take you and mommy out for a romantic night of yummy food. Would you like to go?”

/>   “Now?” she asked.

  I hid my smile by biting the inside of my cheek. Tra’Mel did not hide his.

  “No, not right now. It’ll be in a few days or so. When it’s time, mommy will let you know. All you have to do is dress up and look like the princess you are.”

  “I not princess,” Jaiden said as she straightened her spine. “I am queen.”

  That gained a hearty chuckle from both of us. That’s my girl. “That’s right mamas, you are a queen.”

  “Okay, pardon me,” He cleared his throat. “I’d love to take the two beautiful queens I’m lucky to be in the presence of out for dinner, only if you grant me permission.”

  Jaiden tapped her fingertips against her chin like she needed to think about it before looking back at Tra’Mel. She was a character and he ate it up.

  “Okay,” she said. “Okay, yummy foods, dinner for us queens.”

  He put his hand up for a high five, and she smacked it, leaving behind peanut butter. She turned back to her sandwich and continued eating.

  “I’d say that’s a solid yes,” he said. I nodded. “I’ll let you know what time and where. Thank you for accepting.”

  I was elated, but tried to hide it. This was all too confusing and complicated. I went about cleaning up the counter to make something for me to eat, hiding how warm Jaiden's like for him made me.

  “Would you like something to eat as well?” I asked.

  “No, thank you. I should get to the office. I have a client coming in an hour.” He walked over, kissed my temple and squeezed my hip before heading down the stairs.

  “What I tell you, Tra’Mel?” I warned as he glanced back, smile in place. His shoulder lifted slightly.

  “Oops.” I threw the dish towel at him, but he bolted down the stairs. I shook my head.

  “Don’t fall and bust your ass, Mikal.”

  "The only thing busted is my leg." I heard him laugh and groan before the front door opened and closed. Him being here felt natural. I knew it wasn’t my space, but it still felt nice to have him around this morning. He gave me as much of his free time as he could, the rest of it consisted of sleeping and working.