Let It Burn

by Ruth Cardello

  For a man who had spent his life making and standing by split-second decisions, he found himself strangled with uncertainty again. This was the damage he’d incurred in Iraq. It didn’t show like a missing limb or a jagged scar. It couldn’t be measured or eased with a painkiller.

  He’d lost all faith in himself and his ability to be there for anyone else. Helene might end up being a hell of a lot safer with her father watching over her.

  She was the purest, most caring person he’d ever come across. She deserved someone who could describe himself the same way. He didn’t want her to be with him because she saw him as another creature who needed rescuing. He wanted to be the man she deserved.

  She walked over to him and placed her hand in his. The simplicity of the gesture knocked the wind out of him. He turned and met her father’s eyes. I’ll do whatever is best for Helene and for her family.

  God only knows what the hell that will be.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Although she didn’t know what had been said, Helene knew her father well enough to know he hadn’t wanted time alone with Andrew to compliment him. Her father’s expression was strained. Andrew looked disappointed. Neither is bleeding. So, that’s good.

  The presence of not only her mother, but also Dax, was enough to have the five of them staring at each other awkwardly. Her mother looked at each of them. “Did I miss something?”

  Her father gave her a kiss on the cheek. “One panther is happily on his way to his new territory, Andrew shot his first tranquilizer rifle, and it seems that we have an unexpected guest. Isn’t that enough?” He held his hand out to Dax. “The name’s Art.”

  “Dax Marshall,” Dax said, giving her father’s hand a firm shake.

  Helene was saddened by Andrew’s reaction to his family. He’d told her he only went home when he had to, but seeing their strained relationship up-close broke her heart. She squeezed Andrew’s hand tighter and willed him to say something.

  He nodded at Dax. “Sorry I was occupied when you arrived. People who call first tend to get a better reception.”

  Dax’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll remember that.”

  Her mother said, “Dax flew in just to see Andrew and meet us. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “Wonderful,” Andrew said tightly.

  “Are you staying somewhere local?” her father asked.

  “It wasn’t my intention to,” Dax said.

  “So you’re leaving tonight,” Andrew said like he was issuing a command.

  “Yes,” Dax answered succinctly. “And you’re coming with me.”

  Andrew’s eyes shot up. “I don’t think so.”

  “Could you excuse us for a moment?” Dax asked.

  Her father put his arm around his wife’s waist and started to guide her away. “Let’s go inside and start dinner. Come on, Lenny.”

  Helene had never been one to defy her parents. In fact she couldn’t remember the last time she’d refused them anything, but nothing could have pulled her from Andrew’s side. “I’ll join you in a few.”

  “Now,” her father said sternly.

  Squaring her shoulders, Helene respectively said, “No, Dad.”

  He frowned.

  Andrew bent and said, “It’s okay. Go with your father.”

  She raised her chin. “I’m where I want to be. You didn’t leave me when you could have, and I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me you don’t want me here.”

  “I’ll never say that.” He closed his eyes briefly then tucked her to his side.

  Her father went inside with her mother even though he didn’t look happy about it. Helene laid a hand on Andrew’s tense chest. “You’re not alone.”

  “No, he’s not,” Dax said in a harsh tone. “He has a whole family who is worried sick about him. A family he can’t be bothered to take a call from or even answer a text message.”

  “Go back and tell Kenzi you couldn’t find me. She’ll still love you. You’re all she talks about.”

  Dax stepped closer. “You self-absorbed bastard. I don’t know what the hell happened to you, Andrew, but it’s time to get your shit together and think about how your actions are affecting others.”

  “Affecting them? I hear they’ve never been happier.”

  “Your family may not believe in pushing anyone to do anything, but I was raised differently. I’ll kick your ass all the way to Boston if that’s what it takes.”

  “I’m not going back,” Andrew said dismissively, not sounding at all worried by the threat.

  Dax growled and between clenched teeth said, “Your sister cries at night because she worries about you. You are slowly breaking her heart, and I won’t sit back and watch you do it. I’m going to help you, if for no other reason than Kenzi loves you. That doesn’t mean, though, that I don’t want to punch you in the face right now. Wake the fuck up.” He glanced at Helene. “Sorry for the language, Helene.”

  “No problem,” Helene said automatically. Andrew’s heart was beating double time in his chest, and his muscles were pulsing with tension.

  “Tell her I’m fine,” Andrew said.

  “Tell her yourself,” Dax volleyed back. He held out his phone. “Call and tell her how fucking fantastic you’re doing.”

  “I’m not where I was,” Andrew said angrily, ignoring the phone, and Dax pocketed it.

  Dax let out an angry breath. “Thank God for that. Come back with me, Andrew. We’ll get you help.”

  Andrew rose to his full height. “I don’t need help.”

  Helene said softly, “But you do need your family.”

  Andrew glared down at her. “They don’t need me. Not like this. On a good day I was too much for them. Now? I wouldn’t last more than five minutes with them.”

  “I totally get it,” Dax said. “Your family is dysfunctional. Completely off its rocker. Nuts beyond what even I thought was possible—”

  “But?” Helene prompted him.

  “But they love you, Andrew. Don’t go back because you think it’ll make you feel better; your brothers can be real assholes. They’re going to say stupid shit to you because they aren’t living your life. They don’t know what you’ve been through. None of us do. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care. Kenzi needs to know you’re okay. She needs to see you, hug you. Give her that, then you can come back here and hide all you want.”

  Andrew was quiet for a long moment.

  “I’ll go with you,” Helene said as she cupped one side of his face with a hand.

  “I don’t need—”

  “If you say you don’t need me I will kick you in the shin so hard you’ll be on your knees, spitting out dirt.”

  A hint of smile lifted the corners of Andrew’s mouth. “That sounds hard.”

  “Oh, it would be,” she said in a light tone.

  Andrew looked across at Dax and shrugged, “She looks sweet on the outside, doesn’t she? It’s all steel under there.”

  Dax shook his head, but his anger was dissipating. “Good. I’ll tell my pilot to ready my plane. We can be in Boston in a couple hours.”

  Andrew met Helene’s eyes. “You don’t have to come, Helene. My family is just as crazy as he says they are.”

  “As long as they don’t shoot at me,” she said without missing a beat, then in response to the shock in both of the men’s eyes, asked, “Too soon to joke about it?”

  Andrew kissed the top her head. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  Dax said, “She’ll fit in just fine.”

  Looking back at the house, Helene bit her lip then said, “Which one of us wants to tell my father?”

  Despite the fact that Helene was seated at his side, Andrew found the flight to Boston much less enjoyable than the flight to Florida had been. Dax sat across from them, and he wasn’t the easiest conversationalist, especially when one wasn’t willing to discuss anything Dax wanted to discuss.

  He’d asked what Andrew had discovered in Aruba. He’d asked for the reason Andrew felt he
needed to protect Helene. Andrew responded each time with vague answers that weren’t really answers at all. Helene followed his lead. Eventually Dax had stopped asking anything and took out his laptop to work.

  “We’re going to see your family,” Helene said when she caught Andrew’s eyes on her.

  “Only because you scare me,” he said to make her smile.

  She did. “Funny. Real funny.”

  He laced his fingers with hers and studied her hand. She didn’t have the perfectly manicured nails of the women who surrounded his family. She kept them short, neat. Practical. They were as beautiful to him as every other part of her was. From her desire to help those who were hurt to her quirky sense of humor. From her face, bare of makeup, and still more beautiful than any woman he’d ever known, to the tips of her tennis-shoed toes, she was perfect. After everything she’d been through, was it wrong to inflict his family upon her as well? “Are you sure you want to do this? There’s still time to escape if you’ve changed your mind.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m looking forward to meeting your family.” When he didn’t instantly share her enthusiasm, she said, “Tell me about them. Just so I won’t be so lost when I meet them. Who’s the oldest?”

  “Asher.”

  “What’s he like?”

  A picture of his eldest brother came to mind, and he made a face. “It’s his way or no way. We’d fight about which direction the sun came up, and it wouldn’t matter if we both said from the east, I would still be wrong. There is no reasoning with him. At least, that’s how he always was. He’s married with a son now. I hear he’s mellowed.”

  “Who’s next?”

  “Grant. He was born with a calculator stuck up his ass.”

  “Well, that’s a nice image,” Helene said lightly, and Andrew remembered what Art had said to Dax about watching his language around Helene. Andrew would never have used profanity in front of his mother or sister, but he was comfortable with Helene. He could be himself with her. Still, he vowed to pay more attention to how he spoke in front of her.

  “He’s not as bad as Asher, but I can only talk about my stock portfolio for so long before I find myself telling off-color jokes just to shake him up.”

  Helene chuckled. “I can see you doing that.”

  “My father would always intervene. He wouldn’t say he was disappointed in my behavior, but he has this way of letting everyone know when he’s not happy.”

  “Like pass the salt when the salt is nowhere near you,” Dax chimed in without looking up from his computer.

  Andrew frowned. He’d almost forgotten Dax was there. “Yes, like that.”

  “I don’t understand,” Helene said.

  Andrew hadn’t seen his father use that particular technique in years, but apparently it was still in his repertoire. “It makes a person stop, look for the damn salt, forget whatever they were saying, then realize my father is staring at them, waiting for them to make a better choice.”

  “That’s genius,” Helene said. “I need to try that. So, who comes after Grant?”

  “Ian. He followed in my father’s footsteps and went into politics. Although last I heard he’d become an ambassador or some shit like that. I don’t keep up with him.”

  “What is he like?”

  “It depends if he’s happy with you or not. He’s a brilliant negotiator, but he’s another one who can’t be wrong.”

  “Who’s next?”

  “Lance.” Andrew smiled. “He’s an architect. Very successful. He just got married to a woman he’s been in love with since we were kids. Pathetic and kind of sweet at the same time. Willa’s a really nice woman. They’re expecting twins. I’m happy for him . . . for them.”

  “My friend, Clay Landon, is engaged to her sister, Lexi,” Dax interjected, still typing as he spoke.

  “Really?” Andrew said, “Hope he can handle her. She was always a wild one.”

  Dax looked up and smiled. “They’re perfect for each other.”

  Helene gave his hand a squeeze. Her eyes seemed to ask if he had history with Lexi.

  He shook his head. No. Never. Nothing besides a shared addiction to shocking his parents.

  Her smile widened. It always amazed him how well she could read him. “There’s so many of them. I’ll try to keep them straight in my head. So, after Lance there’s just Kenzi.”

  “Yes,” Andrew said abruptly.

  “What is she like?” Helene asked.

  All typing paused and Dax looked up from his computer.

  Andrew pictured his sister. “She’s stronger than she knows, and braver than anyone thought she had to be. Like me, she spent a good deal of time away from the family, but she found her voice with them, and I’m proud of her. She married a real ass, but I won’t hold that against her.”

  Dax threw back his head and laughed. Helene joined in. The mood was suddenly less oppressive.

  “And your mother? Did you say her name is Sophie? What is she like?”

  Andrew sat back and looked at the ceiling of the plane. “Fragile. Sad. She’s the biggest reason I haven’t gone home. I don’t want her to see me until I have my head on straight.”

  “Not as fragile as you think,” Dax said.

  The lull in their conversation was broken by the pilot announcing they were beginning their descent. Helene searched her pockets for her cell phone then nodded and tightened her seat belt. “I’ll need a moment to call my parents when we land.”

  “You could call them now,” Andrew said. “There’s a phone onboard.”

  “Thank you, but I promised my father I’d call as soon as my feet touched the ground. I also promised I’d call when we arrived at your parents’ house. With how worried my father looked when we left, I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked to speak to one of them.”

  “Are you serious?” Andrew asked.

  She shrugged. “He doesn’t know you. My mother wasn’t upset until she looked your family up on the Internet. I think she’s afraid I’ll see how the other half lives and won’t want to go back, but I’m not a poodle. We were given one once from the family of an elderly woman who had spoiled it horribly. The woman’s children didn’t want the dog because it barked and nipped.”

  “Wait,” Andrew said with a smile. “Let me guess, it got loose and one of the bobcats at the rescue ate it.”

  “No,” she said as if she were surprised he’d think that. “We placed him with a single woman my mother knows. She loves him, but he still nips.”

  “Where are you going with this story?” Andrew asked with a chuckle.

  She waved a hand around to reference the expensive plane. “This is all nice, but I like my life in Florida. If money equated to Nirvana, we wouldn’t see the children of so many rich people in the news caught with drugs or appearing in sex tapes, would we? They’re poodles. I’d rather be a panther, scars and all.”

  Dax closed his laptop and coughed back a laugh. “You just say whatever you’re thinking, don’t you?”

  Helene looked confused by Dax’s amusement and Andrew’s hand clenched on his thigh. “Be careful, Dax.”

  Dax raised a hand. “It’s an observation, not a judgment. I actually prefer people who speak their minds.”

  “Me, too,” Andrew said firmly. He took Helene’s hand in his. “Helene, no matter how my family behaves, don’t worry that you have to be anyone but who you are.”

  Helene looked back and forth between them. “How your family behaves? I don’t understand.”

  The plane bounced as it touched down.

  Andrew raised her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. “And we don’t have to stay a moment longer than you’re comfortable with.”

  “Okay, now you’re making me nervous. How bad could they be?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Helene didn’t ask the question a second time because the expression on the faces of both men had said enough. They both expected her to have an issue with his family. She didn’t normally have a problem with anyo
ne so she wasn’t overly worried. In general, people had always liked her. Yes, dating had been tough when she’d spent most of her time working with and likely smelling like animals, but she’d never had a shortage of friends. Teachers had always liked her. She couldn’t remember the last person she hadn’t gotten along with, except maybe Dr. Gunder after he’d pompously announced while pawing her that veterinarians weren’t real doctors.

  Dax walked to the front of the plane. Andrew helped her up but didn’t lean down to kiss her as she’d expected him to. She thought at first it was because Dax was still on the plane, but it was more than that. Andrew’s expression was cold and carefully neutral.

  She touched his forearm in a prompt for him to look at her. When their eyes met she understood. He’s not even with his family yet and he’s already withdrawing. He’s preparing for the worst, not just for me, but for himself as well. She wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay, but since she had no idea what they were walking into, she held her tongue. She squared her shoulders as an urge to protect him surged through her and prayed that encouraging him to go home had been the right choice.

  Andrew guided her to the plane’s door and down the steps. A black limo was parked on the tarmac. As they walked down the steps, a woman rushed up to Dax and threw her arms around him. That must be Kenzi. She was beautiful but not at all stuffy in the way Helene had begun to imagine his family would be. There was no denying that she had been born to wealth, but there was a genuineness to her that Helene was drawn to.

  Andrew’s hand tensed in hers. When they reached the tarmac, the woman flew over to them. “Andrew!” She didn’t hesitate. She stepped forward, hugged him tightly, and buried her face in the front of his jacket. “You’re here.”

  He let go of Helene’s hand to return his sister’s hug. His face was white and pinched. “It hasn’t been that long, Kenzi.”

  Kenzi loosened her hold and gave him a flat smack on his chest. “Why wouldn’t you answer my calls or texts?” She covered her mouth with a hand and tears filled her eyes. “I was so worried that something had happened to you.”