Where The Pieces Fall : Lost Hearts (Lost Hearts Series Book 1)

by Blue Saffire

  “Not as amazing as his mama,” Caleb whispered with so much love in his eyes.

  Despite not having as much support here in Texas, as we did in New York, we’ve been living in our own little bubble. We’re happy, our children are safe and healthy, and we’re making our dreams come true.

  Cameron doesn’t play baseball anymore, but he’s still by Caleb’s side as much as ever. Cameron has a position with Caleb’s team, as a hitting coach. Cam has changed a lot, but he and Caleb have been tighter than ever through it all.

  “Daddy’s going to shut them out,” Morgan squeals excitedly.

  “Look, he just did our thing,” Monica giggles.

  Caleb made up a simple gesture to let the girls know when he’s thinking of them. I smile every time they get all excited to see him acknowledge them. He loves them so much.

  I look over at our girls glued to the television, as they watch their father play. This is what we do it all for. He’s the world to them. I can’t tell you how many times they have begged to have little parties with their friends to watch their father play.

  “Look, Uncle Cam’s going to talk to Daddy,” Morgan points to the screen.

  I smirk, they brag about their Uncle Cam all the time. All their little friends are in awe of their father and uncle. Caleb has me go all out for their game parties.

  It makes up for Caleb not being able to handle birthday parties, with all of their friends. My heart is sometimes heavy with things like that, the simple stuff other families take for granted, that ours has to avoid.

  We tried once. For the twins fifth birthday. It was insane. We had the party at my parents’ house. When Caleb disappeared into the house, my mother was the one that noticed. She found him hiding out in my old bedroom having a meltdown.

  Mom and Caleb have a special bond. She helped him pull it together, even got him to play a game of baseball with a few of the kids. That, he was able to handle, no contact, little talking, and his focus on the game blocked out the screaming kids.

  However, he had his limits when some of the fathers wanted to get too close, reaching to pat him on the shoulder or back. I, too, had my limits when some of the moms thought, Caleb’s lack of spatial reference meant he was interested.

  Yup, we haven’t done that one again. Little miss, missy that tried to hand my husband her number, never tried me again either. Heifer really followed me because she thought I was going to give her a bag she commented on, at a play date once.

  Mom turned the other way, while my sisters stood guard, as I handed out that ass whipping. It wasn’t the first time I caught her being inappropriate with my husband. He may not get it, but I do, and I don’t play that shit. Sigh, I won’t lie and say I don’t miss New York and my family. My sisters and I laughed about that one for weeks.

  “I think we need to go for a visit, what about you,” I coo to Caleb Jr.

  His hazel-blue eyes twinkle and he shows me those gums and his one new tooth. His spit bubbles are his reply. I shake my head at my handsome boy.

  “Daddy,” the twins cry in unison, causing my head to snap up.

  I rush for the remote to turn the sound up. Caleb is kneeling on one knee, holding his shoulder. It looks like he’s screaming.

  “This looks bad folks,” the announcer says.

  “Yes, we know Perry has been having trouble with that shoulder all season,” the other announcer chimes in.

  “Well, you know this could end the season for him. He looks like he’s in a lot of pain. The club has been keeping talks of the shoulder as quiet as they could,” the first announcer says.

  “You’re right. I believe they were going to try to trade him if they could. This won’t bode well for a trade.”

  The first announcer spokes my fears right to my soul. He says the words that I don’t want to hear, but are playing in the back of my mind. I close my eyes, not able to watch my husband like this.

  “I don’t think a trade will be an option. Sorry to say, but I think Perry is done. At thirty-one, he’s been pitching longer than most, with the type of speed and precision he has,” the announcer whistles. “I mean just look at him. He’s really in pain. It may be his rotator cup.”

  “Oh, my God, please no. Caleb needs to play,” I whisper to myself. “Please don’t take this from him.”

  ~B~

  Caleb

  My shoulder burns, but I’m not ready to call it quits. I can close this game out. My little sweethearts are watching at home. I can’t let them down.

  Two more hitters and I’ll have shut them out tonight. I have to fight against this pain. This shoulder won’t get the better of me. I’ll finish this game and get some ice on it. I can do this.

  I look my coach and Cameron in the eyes. “I’m finishing this game,” I say for the second time.

  “You’re finishing your fucking career,” Cam hisses at me.

  “You’re the hitting coach. I’m the pitcher. Why are you here?” I reply back.

  “You little motherfucker. You’re my brother. You little shit,” Cameron snarls and gets in my face. “You know you’re pushing it. Sit this one out asshole, before you end up sitting the season out.”

  “Fuck off, Cam,” I bite out.

  “Shit, Cal, Nicole isn’t going to think you’re a pussy for sitting out. Don’t do this. You don’t have to be superman,” my brother huffs.

  “It’s not for Nicole. Monica and Morgan are watching. I won’t disappoint my girls,” I shake my head. “Their daddy is going to make them proud.”

  Cameron narrows his eyes at me. Then he closes them and groans. “Cal, you’ve been talking to Mama again, haven’t you?”

  I don’t answer. I just stare pass him at the field. I have, she’s called me to the house to see my father a few times this week. She’s still angry with me about the twins and now little Caleb.

  “Listen, we have a game to play. Are you up to it, Kid, or should we sit you out,” Coach asks.

  “Are you kidding me? Why are you asking him? Sit his ass down,” Cameron growls.

  “He’s about to shut this team out,” Coach shrugs. “Why shake things up now?”

  “Un-fucking-believable,” Cam throws his hands in the air, then tugs at his hair. “Fine, your stubborn ass will do what you want. I don’t have a good feeling about this, Cal, but you’re not listening.”

  “I’m ready,” I nod at coach.

  “Alright,” Coach nods, “Let’s finish this.”

  I need to pull it together. I asked Nicole to move back here to Texas. I won’t move my family to Florida. That’s where they told me they want to send me. I haven’t told my wife they’re seriously talking of trading me.

  I know Nicole misses New York. My family isn’t as helpful or close as hers. My little cousin Andy has been putting Aunt Judy and Uncle Rusty through the ringer. Things aren’t like they used to be.

  In New York, I was sure that my wife was happy. Here, I just don’t know. That’s what has allowed my Mama to plant her shit in my head.

  According to her, I’m not a good father. I’m failing as a husband. My focus is on baseball, where my attention should be, so why do I insist on dragging a family into it.

  Nicole always looks so exhausted, when I get home. I’m no help with the kids. Maybe my mama’s right. Hell, I can’t even attend my babies’ birthday parties without being overwhelmed.

  I close my eyes and shake all of that off. This guy can’t hit curve balls, but he’ll be expecting that. A fast ball will put this to bed. I strike him out, I’m one step closer to going home to my family.

  I move back on my drive leg, lifting my left leg, lifting my glove at the same time. I open up, planting my lift leg and cock my arm to release the pitch. I know right as its about to happen, I go to release the pitch and something in my shoulder explodes with it.

  “Arrr,” I drop to my knee and bellow out. “Fuck! No, no, no, no.”

  I clinch my shoulder and continue to scream in agony. It hurts so fucking much. They’r
e people around me, someone is even touching me, but I’m in too much pain to even let that register.

  “Shit, Cal,” I hear Cam hiss. “Shit.”

  I won’t even look at my shoulder. I know what I’ll see will just confirm what I already feel. I just ended my baseball career. I’m fucked.

  chapter twenty-five

  Always Here

  Nicole

  It’s been seven months since the game that ended Caleb’s career. He had to have surgery on the damaged shoulder right away. My mother flew in to be with the twins, while I flew out to be with Caleb.

  One of my sisters was able to come along with me, since I hadn’t weaned Caleb Jr. off of breast milk yet. That first three weeks had to be the hardest. Caleb has been pulling into himself since the surgery, which hasn’t made things much better.

  I hate seeing him like this. I know how much baseball means to him, but there is something more going on and he won’t let me in. I’ve never been on this side of things with Caleb. He has always said just what he has felt.

  Now, I’m lucky if he says two words to me. He talks to his mother a lot. I can’t fault him for that. She barges her way into our home, almost every day with the pretenses that she’s here to take care of Caleb.

  According to her, I need to focus on the kids. She can handle Caleb. I almost told her more than once, where she can put that bullshit, but I’ve bitten my tongue because she’s my children’s grandmother and my husband’s mom.

  Not that she cares much about her grandchildren. I swear she watches my kids like they’re aliens or something. I feel like she’s watching them for signs of Autism. Like, I, as their mother have missed something she will see. My patience are so thin with that woman.

  That’s why I’m folding the mess out of these sheets right now. I need something to beat on, so I don’t beat on her. How is she going to come in here and tell me that Caleb shouldn’t hold his son?

  I was sitting right there. Caleb had the baby in his lap, they were both fine. Caleb Jr. was on his way into a nap, as he leaned into his father’s side watching some car show.

  He was on Caleb left side. Nowhere near Caleb’s bad shoulder. I swear that woman drives me crazy. Throat punch is not the word.

  “Nicole,” I look up from the sheets I’m folding, in the guest room.

  “Yes, Mrs. Jemma,” I say, as nicely as I can.

  “I was thinking. You have the children here. Your hands are full. Why doesn’t Caleb come and stay with me and his daddy?”

  I feel my face light up like someone set a match to it. This bitch done tried it today. Ten years ago, I didn’t let her steam roll me and I won’t be doing it today.

  “Caleb is just fine here with me and the children. I don’t see why he would need to stay with you. I would think you would have your hands full with your husband,” I say, placing my hand on my hip and shifting on the bed.

  This used to be my sanctuary. Where I come to write, pray, and hide from this woman when she comes to my home. Right now, she has shifted the entire atmosphere.

  Note to self, get some sage and exorcise this crazy bitch from your home.

  She waves me off. “Kyle spends most of his time staring at the walls. I have plenty of time for Caleb,” she says.

  “Ugh, why can’t you just let him be an adult. Listen, I’m not doing this with you,” My patience has finally snapped. “I’m not having this disruption in my home. I would like it if you would leave. Come back when you can respect my home, my family, and my marriage.”

  “Well, I’ve never,” she gasps.

  “And you never will, not here you won’t,” I say, with narrowed eyes. “You need to stop being so trifling and start being a grandmother. You think my children don’t notice you treating them differently. Get over yourself. Act like an adult and acknowledge my babies the way you should. I’m tired of putting up with your mess.”

  “Nicole, I have no problem acknowledge my grandchildren,” she huffs.

  “Right,” I huff back. “That’s why Morgan called your damn name, five times, before you answered her. I watched you. I don’t get it, but I stopped trying to understand stupid a long time ago.”

  “I don’t have to take this. Caleb knows what’s right. He’ll do the right thing,” she snaps and turns on her heels to storm away.

  My stomach sinks. Her words have an eerie feel to them, that I can’t shake off right away. I run my hands through my hair.

  “I’m fed up,” I mumble to myself. “Ready or not we are talking, Mr. Perry.”

  I storm out of the guestroom, heading for our bedroom, where Caleb holds up most days. I don’t know what that woman has been feeding him, but it stops now.

  I walk into the bedroom to find Caleb staring down at his hands. My heart breaks. I know those hands worked hard to accomplish so much, and now, because of his shoulder, they seem useless to him. Or at least, that’s what I think he believes.

  I lean into the doorjamb, some of my anger melting away. I’m not used to seeing Caleb this vulnerable. He has always been ready to defy the odds.

  “Monica said I’m not her fun Daddy anymore,” Caleb says down to his hands, a little above a whisper.

  “Yeah, well, Monica has been trying to make me beat her little ass all week,” I say.

  Caleb’s head snaps in my direction. I tilt my head at him and fold my arms over my chest. A smile tilts my lips.

  “You and I know, I’ve never lifted a finger to discipline our little girls. A good look sends those two into act right mode,” I laugh.

  “It shouldn’t be that way,” Caleb growls.

  “What way?” I furrow my brows and push off the doorjamb. I close the door behind me and walk fully into the room.

  “I’ve spent our entire marriage on a baseball field. I’ve left you to raise our girls on your own. If things were different, it would’ve been the same way with our son.

  “Why are you with me, Nicole? When have I done right by you? What can I give you now?” He turns to look at my face.

  I climb on the bed and straddle his lap, cupping his cheeks. I brush his long locks from his forehead and brush my fingers over his beard. My heart aches for him, I’ll do anything to take this hurt away.

  “Babe, I’m with you because I love you. Every day I get to wake up to you and our beautiful children. You all make me laugh, smile, want to pull my hair out, but I wouldn’t trade a single one of you.

  “You have always done right by me. I’ve always had a roof over my head. I’ve never gone a moment without knowing how much you love me. You’ve given me three beautiful babies, that I love to pieces and back whole again.

  “You can give me what you’ve always given me Caleb. You can give me, you. You’re all I ask for. We’ll figure the rest out. Remember we promised each other we’d be a team. We’d fight for each other.

  “This is it, Buddy. You have to stand up for our family and know that we love you, whether you’re playing ball, chasing a ten-month-old around the house, or reading your physics books for hours,” I reassure him.

  Caleb looks away from me. “I haven’t touched you like I should in months,” I watch him swallow hard. “I haven’t been your husband in the right way in seven months.”

  I smile as I place my fingers under his chin, turning his head in my direction. “Okay,” I purr. “We can fix that.”

  I reach for the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head. “Nicole,” Caleb grunts out, sounding pained.

  “Yes, Baby,” I say seductively, as I reach behind me and unhook my bra. “Don’t worry about your shoulder. I’ll do all the work.”

  I move off his lap to wiggle out of my sweats and panties. I’m not dressed very sexy to do house work, but once I’m completely naked in front of Caleb, I don’t think any of that matters. The lust that fill his eyes says a million words.

  I tug at his gym shorts, looking him in the eyes, silently commanding him to lift his hips. I pat his hip when he just continues to stare at me heatedly. After a
few moments he obliges me, lifting his hips and helping me to pull his shorts down.

  He springs free from his shorts, with precum already dripping from his tip. I lick my lips and inhale his scent coming off of his heated body. It has been much too long since we’ve been intimate. At first, we couldn’t because of his shoulder, then it was just a matter of Caleb shutting me out.

  He frowns, causing my heart to sink, as I think he is getting ready to deny me. “Who’s with the baby, and the girls,” Caleb rasps.

  I sag in relief. “My sister took them all to the park, and their going for ice cream after. We have at least another hour,” I say, squeezing my breasts and biting my lip.

  “Shit, Darlin’, I miss you,” he says hungrily. He reaches to tug his shirt off, awkwardly avoiding his shoulder.

  “I missed you too,” I whimper, as I slip my fingers between my legs. I play with my core turning us both on, as he watches intently. “You want this, Cal? I want you.”

  “Come here,” he says huskily.

  I climb over to him to close the gap, but when I go to straddle his lap again, he shakes his head. Reaching for my waist with his good arm, he guides me over his lap, with my back facing him.

  “Argh,” Caleb groans, while I plant my feet between his open thighs.

  I sink onto him, leap frog style, and lean forward on my forearms, arching my back when the full force of having him inside me takes over. He stretches me so deliciously my mouth waters and I actually drool onto the sheets in front of me.

  I pull it together, making a slurping sound that causes Caleb to groan. He starts to massage my back, as I begin moving up and down on him. The feeling is so unbelievable.

  I pick up the pace, when Caleb cups my ass cheeks in his huge palms. His groaning increases and he starts to move his hips. I grip the sheets and bite my lip hard.

  “You feel so fucking good,” Caleb growls. “I don’t deserve you, Darlin’.”

  “Yes. You. Do,” I moan, grinding my hips to punctuate each word.

  “Shit, Nicole,” he calls out, as his hips move faster.

  I punch my balled fist against the mattress. I yelp when Caleb shift swiftly. He pulls my legs from beneath me, settling me on my side and lunges forward into my heat.