Where The Pieces Fall : Lost Hearts (Lost Hearts Series Book 1)

by Blue Saffire

  “It shouldn’t define you. You define it. I’m so tired of everyone wanting to tell us what to do. You’re super smart Cal. That baby is going to be so loved. Nicole loves the fuck out of you. She’s going to love that baby just as much,” Cameron reassures me.

  I stare down at my palms. “Well, what the hell do I do now?” I sigh.

  “Give her some time. She was really torn up when she thought you’d be upset that she’s pregnant. I think you threw her. Give her some time to deal with that and the fact she’s going to be a mama,” Cameron suggests.

  I look up at him and he has a smile on his face. I furrow my brows. There’s nothing funny about this. I have to fix this shit with my wife and I don’t know how.

  I was expecting to come home and find her with a cold, the flu, hell, not a baby. A baby, my stomach rolls and I jump up, heading for the front powder room. Ah shit, I’m going to be a father.

  chapter twenty-three

  What’s Mine

  Caleb

  I woke this morning with a banging headache. My body sore and my mind racing. Cameron slept on the couch after we stayed up talking most of the night.

  I’m glad I have my brother in my life. I know he has his own shit going on, but he was here for me last night. I know it would’ve been harder if he hadn’t been here.

  Nicole locked me out of our bedroom and I could hear her in there crying. That shit gutted me. I know it’s probably not good for the baby.

  I stopped trying to get her to let me in when she started to sod louder. I’ll do whatever I can not to stress her or the baby out. My kid is going to have all the fighting chance it needs to be perfect.

  Perfect. Such as interesting word. All my life I thought it meant Cameron, or Dakota. Now, I hear it all the time, in reference to me. My wife thinks I’m perfect, but I’m not.

  I hurt her. In more ways than one. I made her fear my feelings for our child. I placed pressure on her that she never should’ve felt. I won’t forgive myself for that.

  I blink at the ceiling of our guest room. I slept here last night, to give Nicole some space. I hate this bed. I hate it because Nicole isn’t in it.

  I want to wrap around her little body and feel her breathing next to me. I want to inhale her scent to calm me. I want to make love to her, without the fear of our future, because it’s already set in motion.

  We’re having a baby.

  Every time I’ve been inside her, without a condom, I’ve worried this could happen. Honestly, I’ve secretly prayed for it on some level, deep down in my heart. A smile takes over my face.

  A little girl as pretty as her mama. Or a son I can play catch with. I can handle that. Teaching my son, the right way to pitch.

  So, that’s why Nicole’s pussy has felt so damn good in the last couple of weeks. Her body is already changing with our baby. Her breasts do taste sore, but I just thought it was that time of the month.

  Fuck this, I want my woman. I want to touch her belly and talk to our baby. I sit up and toss my legs over the edge of the bed.

  The floor is cold against my bare feet, but I grit my teeth and bare it. I can get warm in my bed with my wife. I pad to our bedroom and sigh in relief when I find the door open.

  I feel a chill run through me, when I step into the bedroom. Nicole isn’t here. I can feel it in my bones. I look around the room wildly, my stomach feels like it’s going to drop out.

  I run for my phone. Nicole and I have trackers on our phones. It’s a precaution, in case I ever find myself in a situation I can’t handle. Me shortening the leash my family has on me, has caused Nicole and I to think of things that will compensate for the shit that could go wrong.

  This is something I’m grateful for, at the moment. I pull up the app and it shows Nicole’s location. I try not to freak out. Just because she went to her parents’ house doesn’t mean she left me.

  However, I’m not waiting around to find out. I rush to my closet, pulling on socks and some sneakers. I grab a hoodie and baseball cap. I’m on my way out the door when Caleb stumbles out of the front powered room.

  “Where’re you heading, like you’ve got fire on your ass,” Cameron grumbles, while cracking his belly.

  “Nicole left,” I mumble and keep walking.

  “Cal,” Cameron sighs. “She went to her parents’ place to think.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m going to think with her,” I throw back.

  “Cal.”

  “No,” I spin around. “She’s my wife and she’s pregnant with my baby. Whatever you’re about to say doesn’t matter.

  “My wife left here not knowing how I feel,” I pound on my chest. “She doesn’t need that shit on her right now. She needs to know I love her and that baby.

  “Am I scared? So fucking much, I might shit myself, but I’ll walk through fire for her. I’ll fix all my shit for her the best I can. I’m going to be a daddy Cam. She has to know I want that.”

  “Did you just say you might shit yourself?” Cam shakes his head at me. “Do you know that was funny? Even more so cause, you said it with a straight as fuck face.”

  I roll my eyes. “Bye Cameron,” I grunt.

  “No, wait. I’ll drive,” Cameron calls after me.

  I think about it for a second. “Nope, I’m driving. It will still some of this shit in my head,” I sigh.

  ~B~

  Nicole

  “So, you ready to spill,” my dad asks, as he places his crossword puzzle down.

  I’ve been avoiding him all morning. I finally feel like I can eat something, so I come down for lunch. Mom just made it back from the clinic and she’s making lunch for the three of us. I haven’t said a word.

  I want to tell them about the baby first this time and I wanted to tell them together. If I would’ve hung out with my dad today, I would’ve spilled by now. Mom would be so pissed at me.

  I sigh and look up at both my parents, they’re both staring at me waiting for me to speak. I smooth my hands over the napkin in front of me. I fidget in my seat for a few minutes.

  “I thought I had the flu. Cameron came to check on me yesterday and suggested otherwise. Turns out he was right. I’m pregnant,” I huff out.

  “Oh, Honey, this is wonderful news. You’ll be finishing school in the spring. You already have a job at the clinic if you decide to work. Or you can write and take photos for your dad. So, why the long face,” My mother asks.

  “Caleb and I had a fight,” I whisper.

  “Because he doesn’t want the baby,” my father states more than asks.

  “No,” I shake my head, “Because he accused me of not wanting the baby. I don’t know what happened. I’ve never been so mad in my life. I just lost it on him. I didn’t mean to. He must be so scared,” I snort. “I am.”

  “Well, how does he feel about the baby,” My mother asks with her brows knitted together.

  I open my mouth, but I don’t get a chance to speak. The house alarm announces the front door opening, just before Caleb starts bellowing through the house. My eyes go wide and I scramble to my feet.

  When I turn to head for the door a sleep messed, sweats wearing, Caleb is standing before me. He looks like he rolled right out of bed and raced here. He stumbles forward, dropping to his knees, pulling me into him by my waist.

  “Caleb,” I try, but he shakes his head against my stomach and squeezes me tighter.

  He looks up into my eyes. “You didn’t give me a chance to tell you how I feel,” he places his large hand against my belly. “You two mean the world to me. I want our baby as much as I want you.

  “I just, I never wanted to hear you say that you didn’t want to have children with me,” he lifts his other hand to place his finger to my lips when I go to talk. “Since I was little, my Mama told me it wouldn’t be right for me to have a family.

  “She told me I wouldn’t understand how to love a woman. She said I’d ignore my children or get them hurt. She told me I wouldn’t understand my manly needs and I shouldn’t try,
” he chokes out.

  “Then, I met you,” his hands slide up and down my sides. “I know I understand how to love you, cause you call my name when we make love. You look in my eyes and tell me, you love me. You gave yourself to me, you’re my woman and I know I please you.

  “I understand my need for you just fine,” Cameron clears his throat behind Caleb, but Cal ignores everyone but me. I blush all over, but I don’t stop him. “I understand it clinically, I understand it physically, and I know how it makes me feel mentally.

  “I understand that my love for you and those manly needs placed a baby in here,” he dips his head and kisses my stomach. “I know one more thing, Darlin’. You’re mine and so is this baby. Just like I learned to shut out the screams of thousands of fans, to focus on a single pitch. I promise, I’ll learn to focus to keep you and our baby safe.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you how happy I was last night. I was already losing my shit before you said a word about the baby. You have to give me time sometimes, Baby,” he pleads with me. “I came to get what’s mine, Nicole. Come home, Darlin’. I’m sorry.”

  I stand stunned. My mouth hangs open, as I stare at my husband. I have no words. I’d only come over to think and share the news with my parents. I had every intention of going back home.

  My dad stands on his feet, with his arms folded over his chest and a proud smile on his face. My mom has tears on her cheeks and Cameron looks like he wants to fist pump.

  I have a mix of tears on my cheeks and a smile on my lips. That was Caleb’s unfiltered way of letting me know how he feels and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Embarrassment and all, I love this man.

  “I only came to think a little and tell my parents about the baby. I was going to head home after lunch,” I say running my hand through his hair. I cup his face and bend to kiss his lips. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost it.”

  My dad clears his throat. “How about we all have lunch and celebrate this new little one?”

  “Come on, I know you and Cam are always hungry,” I smirk at Caleb. “And right now, our little baby has me starving.”

  The smile that lights up Caleb’s face takes my breath away. He pulls me closer and kisses my belly. Ignoring everyone he lifts my shirt to get to my skin.

  “This is your Daddy, I’m going to spoil you rotten. You’re so loved, Baby Perry,” he whispers against my stomach.

  I wipe the tears from my chin with the tissue my mother hands me. When Caleb lifts to his feet and pulls me into a hug, I finally feel like I can breathe. He wants the baby. We’re going to be okay.

  “I got some steaks for the grill. You want a beer, Cameron,” Daddy calls as Caleb sways me in his arms.

  “Yes, Sir, these two have driven me to drink,” Cameron chuckles.

  Caleb lifts me into his arms and I yelp. “Caleb, put me down,” I giggle.

  “Nope, you won’t lift a finger or a foot, until our baby is born,” Caleb says against my temple.

  “Aww, my hero,” I sing and giggle.

  chapter twenty-Four

  All Falls Down

  Eight years and two months later…

  Nicole

  I love my family. Our little girls will be eight this year and we have a seven-month-old son, Caleb Jr. My children are my world. I’m so glad we had them. My little girls are freakishly smart and Caleb Jr. is just adorable.

  They show me something new every day. I love learning the world through their eyes. The girls are just as honest as their father. Not because of Autism, but because they are just like their father and their uncle.

  Basically, my girls are smart asses. I swear some days I just can’t. Monica told Caleb he needed to pull it together the other day. Caleb Jr. was crying because he needed a diaper change, Caleb had just come in from practice and I was in the bathroom.

  At thirty-one, Caleb’s shoulder has been giving him a problem. He had a bad day at practice and was already feeling bogged down. Caleb Jr.’s crying just sent him over the edge.

  When I found him and the kids in the living room, Caleb was sitting in the middle of the floor, with his hands over his ears, tugging at his hair. Our oldest, Monica, thinks she’s the boss around here, so leave it to her to handle the situation.

  “Daddy, Caleb needs changing and Mama’s busy. We’re not allowed to change him. So, you need to pull it together. You’re the adult right now, you don’t have time for a bad day. We need you, Caleb stinks,” Monica said with her little hands on her hips. Her toffee colored face twisted up, her light brown eyes, screaming no nonsense.

  I covered my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. My little girls are a mess. They love their daddy and never like to see him having a bad day, but this was too cute because of what happened next.

  Caleb lifted his head and looked our daughter in the eyes. He nodded and stroked her thick honey brown curls. He stood and walked over to the baby.

  “Oh, God, you do stink,” Caleb grumbled.

  “Duh, Daddy, that’s what I was trying to tell you. I don’t know what Mama fed him, but it just ain’t right,” Monica groaned.

  “Please, Daddy, my nose can’t take it,” Morgan pleaded.

  Caleb huffed. “You two gonna help or complain,” Caleb grunted.

  “You want me to help with that,” Morgan frowned. “I love you, Daddy, but this is just too much.”

  After that one, I couldn’t hold my laughter any longer. Caleb spun around to find me watching. The relieved look on his face was priceless.

  He scooped the girls up, one in each arm, and dashed into the kitchen to get them a snack. I shook my head the entire time I changed my son. I laughed so hard that day, but I also smiled.

  Our girls have been a light in Caleb’s life. He didn’t have another thought about practices, until the girls had gone to bed. Then he talked through things with me.

  We’ve made our life work, I take care of the kids and he plays ball. I write for my dad’s publishing company here and there. Caleb hasn’t had to deal with the children on his own much. Over the last seven and a half years, with his schedule, most times he hasn’t been around the children much.

  It wasn’t as easy to pick up and follow after Caleb, with little twin girls. When Caleb played in New York, I had my family to help me with the girls. It wasn’t as hard on me, because someone was always there.

  Since we’ve been back in Texas, things have been different. My father-in-law had a stroke last year. Since he hasn’t been the same. My mother-in-law has become a straight witch, since finding out I was pregnant with the girls.

  I can’t count on them like I can my family. Dakota tries, but she has her own little ones now. She and Hamilton, surprise, surprise, married two years after we all graduated.

  Dakota’s little boy is five and her girl is four. They are a handful by themselves. Put them in a room with Monica and Morgan and you want to strangle the four of them.

  The twins were pretty much a breeze to deal with from the day they were born. Then they started talking. Good Lord, if my son has half the mouth of those two, I’m going to sell him to the highest bidder.

  I smile down at my little boy, I’ll never get tired of looking at those dimples or seeing him blow bubbles at me. His hazel eyes twinkle as I coo at him. He was an even bigger surprise than his sisters.

  I was four months pregnant before we noticed. Caleb was so proud to find out we were having a boy. He nearly passed out when we found out we were having twins the first time.

  Unfortunately, Caleb missed the birth of the girls by thirty minutes to be exact. He was sick over it for months. I’d been having false labor pains for two weeks, and when the real deal took place, Caleb couldn’t get out of his game.

  He made it for CJ though, and cried like a baby when his son was placed in his hands. I still remember it like it was yesterday. The sweetest moment ever.

  “Mr. Perry, you can breathe now, your son is here,” the nurse teased.

  Caleb looked at her wi
th wide eyes. He licked his lips and shook his head. I burst into laughter, when he finally spoke.

  “I can’t believe she let me touch her after our twins. Oh, my God, Baby. That was incredible. He’s so loud,” Caleb swallowed hard, as the cries of our son filled the room.

  The nurse came over and placed the baby on my chest. He quieted almost immediately. My son looked up at me with those hazel-blue eyes and I melted in his little palms. Caleb reached to run a shaky hand over our son’s thick silky brown hair.

  “You want to hold him,” I whispered.

  Caleb’s eyes flickered to mine, almost popping out of his head. It took him two whole weeks before he would hold the girls. I gave him a reassuring smile and handed our son over.

  Caleb took him gently and tucked him into his chest. The awe and reverence in his face were just heartwarming. Caleb kissed our son’s head and whispered something in his ear just for him.

  “You will be the complete Caleb. The better version of me. The latter shall be better than the former,” Caleb then said out loud for others to hear.

  The older nurse in the room clinch her hand over her chest. It was clear she was holding back tears. The medical staff in our room were all aware of all of our family medical history.

  The nurses had helped Caleb keep his shit through the delivery. He was so overwhelmed, but he refused to leave and miss his son being born. Half way through, I had to bite the bullet and silence my pain, but it was worth it for the very moment that had us all in tears.

  “So, that’s his name?” I asked with a teary smile. “Will he be Caleb Jr.?”

  “Yes, Darling, if that’s alright with you. I want to name him Caleb Cameron Perry.”

  I giggled at the name, but I loved it just the same. “So not exactly a Jr.,” I asked with a raised brow.

  “No, Baby, he’s going to be the best of the men in his life,” Caleb says, with his throat clogged, with emotion.

  “I like it, but I think he has some big shoes to fill. His daddy is something amazing,” I say softly, as I watch little Caleb start to fall asleep in his father’s arms.