What's the Matter with Newton?

by Mark Young

  “Good,” Newton agreed, nodding.

  “I’m glad,” Shelly said. “Yesterday it tasted like a sweaty exercise mat!”

  Newton moved to open the door, and Shelly put her arm in front of him.

  “Stop!” she cried. “Do it slowly, and look first before you reach in. There have been black holes popping up inside some of the lockers recently. The Physics Club has been trying to get them under control, but black holes are, well, kind of major. They’ll suck you into—oblivion!”

  “That doesn’t sound good,” Newton said.

  “It’s not,” Shelly said.

  Newton slowly opened the door and peered in.

  “All clear,” Shelly said. “When you get books and stuff, you can stash them in here between classes. Or use your locker to store anything you want to keep safe. At least now you know how to open it.”

  Newton closed the door, and Shelly heard his stomach growl loudly. She giggled.

  “Sounds like you’re hungry.” she said.

  “Hungry?” Newton repeated.

  “It’s when your stomach feels empty, and you want to eat food,” Shelly said.

  Newton nodded. “Then I guess I’m hungry.”

  “Come on, let’s go to the cafeteria,” she said. “They should still be serving food.”

  Shelly led him down the hallway to a large glass tube. She pressed a button and the tube hissed open. She stepped inside and Newton followed.

  “You just have to say or think where you want to go, or press a button on the screen, and the tube will take you there,” Shelly explained. “It’s a little intense the first few times you try it.”

  “Intense? I woke up in a room full of brains and I don’t know who I am,” Newton said. “Bring it on!”

  Shelly paused, then giggled again. “Fourth floor, please,” she said, and she and Newton gasped as they got sucked up the tube. They came to a stop a few seconds later, and a door opened up. Newton put his hand on Shelly’s shoulder to steady himself.

  Shelly pointed to their reflection in the glass. Their hair was sticking out all over the place!

  “We call it the Albert Einstein Effect,” Shelly told him. “Quick pat down, and we’re good to go,” she added, smoothing down her hair with the palms of her hands.

  Newton did the same, and then they stepped out into a noisy, crowded cafeteria filled with students sitting at tables. Strange smells filled the air, and Shelly heard Newton’s stomach growl again.

  “It’s pretty crowded, and we’ve got a lot to cover,” she said. “Come on, let’s use the food-erators.”

  Shelly headed through the crowd and stopped a few seconds later when she bumped into Theremin, holding a tray of food.

  “You’re late,” he said stiffly. He looked about as wooden as a robot could look, given that he was mostly metal.

  “Sorry, it took a while in Ms. Mumtaz’s office, and I’ve got to show Newton around,” Shelly said. “Hey, how did it go with Nurse Bunsen?”

  “My scanners are fine,” Theremin replied. “So that thing on Newton’s foot can’t be a bar code. It must be a tattoo or something.”

  Newton slapped his forehead. “The bar code! I meant to ask the headmistress about that, but I forgot.”

  Shelly shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. Kids don’t usually get tattooed!”

  “Maybe wherever he comes from, everyone gets tattooed,” Theremin said, and his voice was cranky. “How should I know? I’m just a stupid robot.”

  “You know I don’t like it when you use that word, Theremin,” Shelly said, ignoring his crankiness as always. “Glad you’re okay.”

  “So you’re not eating with me, then?” Theremin asked.

  “We can’t,” Shelly replied.

  “I wasn’t offering to eat with him,” Theremin said. His eyes flashed green.

  Shelly knew that meant he was jealous, but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to get through to him until he cooled off. “Catch you later!” she said, trying to sound breezy in hopes that he would lighten up. “Newton and I need to eat fast so I can give him a tour of the campus!”

  They got moving again, and Shelly stopped in front of some tall machines with glass fronts. Through the glass, Newton could see various items vacuum-packed in silver-colored foil.

  “My treat today, since you’re new,” Shelly said, producing her ID card from under her poncho. “Let’s see, what looks good? How about a bean burrito?”

  “Sure! I don’t know what that is, but it sounds good,” Newton replied.

  Shelly swiped her card, pressed some buttons, and a tray emerged with two foil-wrapped burritos on it.

  “Here you go, Newton,” she said, handing one to him. “There’s a free table over there,” Shelly said. “We can scarf these down, and then I’ll give you the rest of the tour.”

  They sat down at a table. Newton popped the entire burrito into his mouth, foil and all, and began to chew.

  “This is um, . . . interesting,” he remarked.

  Shelly looked at him, wide-eyed.

  “You know you’re supposed to unwrap that, right?” she asked. “Or maybe you don’t?” She unwrapped her burrito to demonstrate.

  “Okay, if you say so . . . ,” Newton said, then spit out a ball of foil into his hand. He took a bite of the burrito, this time without foil. “It does taste much better this way. Thanks!”

  “Sure,” Shelly said, and then leaned closer to him. “So, Newton, I was wondering. What exactly do you remember? I mean, you talk—you know words and all—so you must remember some things, right?”

  “It’s weird,” Newton replied. “Like, some things I just know. I know that this is a table and that’s a wall and that’s a door. When I met you, I thought you were friendly and I knew what that meant.”

  Shelly smiled.

  “But other things, I just don’t know,” Newton went on. “Like how I didn’t know what a mad scientist was. Or a flamingo.” He shrugged.

  “I’m sure Mumtaz will figure this out,” Shelly said. Then her eyes lit up. “Hey, what if you’re walking around in an encephalo-magnetic dream state? Maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow and remember everything.”

  “I sure hope so,” Newton said.

  Shelly wiped her hands on a napkin and then produced a colorful piece of folded paper from under her poncho. It had a picture of a building on the front and the words FRANKEN-SCI HIGH in big letters. Underneath was the symbol of a brain and a motto: A BRAIN IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE . . . UNLESS YOU CAN GROW ANOTHER ONE.

  “This is the school brochure,” she said. “It’s, like, a little book that tells you about the school and what we learn here. But it’s also a portal. When you’re outside the school and you need to get here, you just fold the brochure in a specific way and a Euclidean vortex will open.”

  Shelly demonstrated. She opened the brochure once, and then twice, so that it was now shaped like a big square. Newton watched as she folded in each corner of the square. And then she made some more folds. It looked kind of confusing.

  “Then you just fold it in half one more time, and the portal opens,” Shelly said. She unfolded the brochure and passed it to Newton. “Here, you try.”

  He took the brochure from her. He folded down the left corner. Then the right corner. Shelly saw little beads of sweat on his forehead.

  “You’re getting it,” she said.

  Newton held up the brochure, and his fingers were stuck to the paper!

  “Hmm,” Shelly said. “Must be burrito grease.” She handed him a napkin.

  Newton took the napkin—and the napkin stuck to his fingers!

  Shelly pried off the napkin and looked at it. It was grease-free.

  “Hmm,” she said. “Try again.”

  Newton touched the brochure, and it stuck to all his fingers this time. Shelly carefully pried it off.

  “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Let me put it in your bag for you. We can practice another time. Every freshman gets tested on po
rtal opening, but that’s not for a while yet. We have plenty of time.”

  She stood up. “You should read the brochure anyway. It tells you all about the school. Like, I forgot to mention where the school is located. Come on, I think it’ll be easier to show you.”

  Shelly led Newton to an outdoor patio off the cafeteria. She pointed to the expanse outside—tropical trees as far as the eye could see, and an eerie green fog on the horizon.

  “We’re in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle,” she explained. “It’s an area in the Atlantic Ocean where people say strange things happen, and airplanes and ships apparently disappear into thin air. The truth is, that fog out there is what keeps Franken-Sci High hidden from the rest of the world.”

  “Whoa,” Newton said. “Do kids ever go outside?”

  “Sure,” Shelly replied. “The dorms are out there—the buildings where we sleep. And the school store is out there, and a few places to eat. But I should finish showing you the main school building first. Let’s head to the gym.”

  “And that is . . . ?” Newton asked.

  “It’s where you go to exercise your body,” Shelly informed him. “It’s filled with some really cool equipment. I’ll show you.”

  Shelly led him out of the cafeteria, down a hallway, and into a large room filled with clear glass equipment and exercise cubicles. One boy was running on a glass treadmill, with a holographic projection of a giant octopus chasing him. Newton raised his eyebrows and looked at Shelly.

  “Training motivation,” Shelly explained.

  Nearby, a girl was inside a glass box, floating in midair, but running at the same time.

  “Hover jogging,” Shelly told him. “You work out your muscles without stressing your joints.”

  They turned a corner and came to a room with a blue tile floor and a big, glistening rectangle of water. The room was quiet, and empty of students except for a lifeguard.

  “And here’s the pool,” Shelly said.

  Newton’s eyes got wide. He tossed his drawstring bag aside and jumped right into the pool with all his clothes on!

  “Newton! What are you doing?” Shelly yelled.

  She peered over the edge, scanning the bottom of the pool, but couldn’t see her new friend anywhere.

  Shelly blinked. It must be the fluorescent lighting playing tricks on my eyes, she thought.

  “Newton?” she called out.

  There was no response. The water was still. It seemed like Newton should be coming up for air soon.

  “Newton?” she called again.

  She looked around. Had Newton climbed out of the pool? Was he playing a trick on her? No, she would have seen him climb out. He must be in the water, but I just can’t see him! she reasoned.

  “Newton!”

  On the very bottom of the pool, the water seemed to be rippling, but she still didn’t see Newton. Panic rose up within her. Had he been sucked down a drain? And why hadn’t the lifeguard heard her yelling? She looked over and saw that the lifeguard was looking in the water, too, but since the pool looked empty, he wasn’t moving.

  Since the lifeguard wasn’t responding, Shelly ran to the nearest emergency robotic lifeguard box. She pulled the lever and a siren sounded. Robotic hands emerged from the wall and reached for the pool—just as Newton came to the surface.

  “What’s that noise?” Newton asked.

  The human lifeguard looked confused, rubbed his eyes, and then stared at Newton in shock.

  “What happened to you?” Shelly yelled at Newton. “I thought you drowned or something!”

  Then for a split second, Shelly thought she saw fishlike gills on Newton’s neck. But the skin quickly closed up. She blinked again.

  If my eyes are playing tricks on me, that’s some trick! she thought.

  The sirens were still blaring. The human lifeguard made sure Newton was okay, pressed a cancel button to turn off the siren, and went straight to Nurse Bunsen’s office to get his eyes checked since he could have sworn no one was in the pool.

  Shelly led Newton out of the pool area and stopped once they reached the hallway.

  “So what happened in that pool?” she asked. “Why did you jump in?”

  “I don’t know,” he replied with a shrug. “I guess . . . I guess I know how to swim.”

  “You were down there an awfully long time,” Shelly said. “Weren’t your lungs bursting?”

  Newton shrugged again. “It felt normal to me.”

  Shelly frowned. She was used to weird things happening at Franken-Sci High. There were kids who looked and acted way weirder than Newton. But that was just it. Newton wasn’t a robot, or a brain in a jar like Odifin. He looked like a regular kid. But Shelly was starting to think that Newton was far, far from normal. And maybe that was a clue to who he really was. Still, she decided not to tell him until she knew more.

  “Sure, normal,” Shelly said, and the friendly smile returned to her face. “I think we should head to your dorm room, though. You must be tired.”

  And I want to do a little bit of research on what might make a human sprout gills . . . she added to herself.

  CHAPTER 5

  It’s a Goo Thing

  Newton thought that Shelly was unusually quiet as they made their way to the dorm building. He was still sopping wet, so she made him wrap one of the school’s pool towels around his shoulders when she brought him outside. They walked along a path lined with tall trees with feathery leaves on top. The air smelled nice to Newton, and he guessed that the smell was coming from the flowers on the border of the path, which were brilliant shades of red and orange.

  Newton followed Shelly to a tall brick building. Inside was another glass transport tube. Shelly and Newton entered.

  “Freshman Floor,” Shelly said, and whoosh! They quickly shot up four floors. “This is the boys’ dorm,” she said, smoothing her hair as they stepped out into a hallway. Newton saw that and patted down his hair too, which was a bit drier after the ride.

  “Your room—and your roommate—should be right down here.” Shelly said. She walked a bit and stopped in front of a door marked YTH-125. “I’ll meet you here at seven a.m. tomorrow. We’ll grab some breakfast, and then I’ll take you to the classes on your schedule, and some of mine in case you like them. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Newton replied. He glanced at the closed door behind him. “So, do you want to meet my room—”

  “Things to do!” Shelly said quickly, and dashed off down the hallway, trying to act like nothing was out of the ordinary.

  Newton shrugged.

  Then he stared at the closed door. Beyond it was his room—his new home. He took a deep breath and knocked before opening the door.

  “Hello there! You must be my new roomie!”

  Newton stopped in his tracks and stared at the kid in front of him. Even though Newton had lost almost all his memory, he was pretty sure he had never seen a kid like this before.

  His roommate wore a heavy coat, rubber gloves on his hands, black boots, and a wool cap on his head. A pair of thick, wide glasses covered most of his face, and it looked to Newton like the rest of his face was bandaged. And that wasn’t all. Newton saw something green and gooey dripping down from one of the kid’s sleeves.

  “Higglesworth Goodrich Vollington the Eighth, but you can call me Higgy,” the boy said. He took a step forward, and his foot made a pffffft sound when it touched the floor. It kind of sounded like Higgy had passed gas, but it was actually the squishy sound his feet made whenever he walked.

  Cool! Newton thought.

  Higgy reached out to Newton, and Newton responded, expecting to shake the rubber-gloved hand. Instead, a tendril of green goo snaked out from under the sleeve and wrapped itself around Newton’s palm.

  “Um, nice to meet you,” Newton replied. “Newton Warp.”

  “Nice to meet you, too,” Higgy said pleasantly. “Come in and check out our humble abode.”

  Newton stepped into the room and Higgy closed the door behind him
. Newton wasn’t sure what a “humble abode” was, but if it meant “big mess,” then he figured that would make sense. There were clothes, bandages, and rubber gloves strewn all over the floor. There was a desk, but it was covered with books, papers, and empty snack bags. Next to the desk was a plain wooden dresser covered with stickers.

  Higgy moved to the dresser, making the same sound as before with each step—pffft! pffft! pffft!—and opened the top drawer.

  “I cleaned out a drawer for you,” he said.

  “For what?” Newton asked.

  “For your clothes and things, of course,” Higgy replied. Then he looked to the left and right of Newton. “Oh, but it looks like you didn’t bring any luggage.”

  “No, just this,” Newton replied. He held up the drawstring bag Mumtaz had given him. “Ms. Mumtaz said she gave me some spirit wear.”

  Newton opened the bag for the first time and pulled out a yellow T-shirt with the words FRANKEN-SCI HIGH emblazoned on it in lime green. There were lime-green shorts to match, trimmed in bright yellow. He tried to imagine what he would look like wearing them, and a word popped into his mind.

  Uncool.

  “That’s not a bad start,” Higgy said. Another green tendril snaked out and plucked the bag out of Newton’s hand. Then it stretched until it reached the drawer and dropped the bag inside.

  “You know, if you need to borrow some clothes until your luggage gets here, you can borrow some of mine,” Higgy offered. He picked up a shirt off the floor, shiny with green goo.

  “No, thanks,” Newton said quickly.

  Then Higgy pointed to the top bunk. “I cleared that off for you too.”

  “Thanks!” Newton said. Then he quickly scurried up to the top bunk in a flash. He kicked off his shoes, and they fell to the floor with a clatter.

  “Whoa, you can really move,” Higgy said, impressed.

  Newton sat on the mattress and bounced a little. It felt pretty comfortable.

  “So, you’re new here?” Higgy asked him.

  “Yes,” Newton replied. “It’s my first day.”