The Great Bedroom War

by Laurie Kellogg

  “Yeah, but that was when we wanted a baby. How about when impregnating you was the last thing on my wish list—like, say, the night we conceived Dani?”

  “How can you regret that? If I hadn’t gotten pregnant, we wouldn’t have her now.”

  “Damn it, that’s not what I meant. Of course I don’t regret having her.” He pushed himself up on the mattress so he was also sitting. “I’m simply saying the perversity of the universe tends to reign in instances like this. You know, Murphy’s Law?”

  “I’ll be sure to start knitting a pair of booties.”

  “Look.” He raised his hands. “There’s a simple solution. Tomorrow morning, we’ll get the morning after pill for you.”

  “Forget it. I won’t take it.” She flinched at another crash of thunder.

  “Sam, you have to.”

  “Like hell I do. I want another child, even if you don’t. What do you think Father Rossi would say if he heard you wanted to keep me from becoming pregnant?”

  “I don’t give a damn what the Church says about this. I’d have ten kids if I were—”

  “—married to someone who isn’t so deficient?” she finished for him.

  He stared at her as if she’d slapped him. “Querida, you have to know I don’t feel that way.”

  “Do I? When I told you I was pregnant with Dani, you insisted that for a Latino man, a baby is never a bad thing. You said children are a gift from God, and you wanted half a dozen kids.”

  “I did. I mean I do. And I would be willing to have another child if I were sure you and the baby would be safe.”

  “No one ever gets a hundred percent guarantee, Nick. You’re paranoid.”

  “I am not. You know what the doctor said.”

  She’d been told that after factoring in her pregnancy induced hypertension with Dani and her development of HELLP syndrome—a rare liver complication during pregnancy that accompanied full-blown eclampsia—with Michael, she had between a one and twenty percent chance of reoccurrence in a subsequent pregnancy.

  “Please don’t think I’ve ever blamed you for being unable—”

  “I am able!" she shouted. “Dr. Brennan also told us that with careful monitoring, my chances of delivering safely are extremely good. There’s always a slight risk for any woman during pregnancy, and even if I fall into the twenty percent who develops HEELP again, if Dr. Brennan is watching for it, the likelihood of me dying is very low. So if I'm fortunate enough to have gotten pregnant tonight, I'm having my baby.”

  “You want to talk odds and probability? Don’t you see how lousy our chances are to conceive a potential match for Dani? Why take any risk for only a one-in-four chance on a maybe.”

  “I don’t care. I would sacrifice my life if I could give Dani the umbilical stem cells she might need someday. But the bottom line is, she’s not the only reason I want another baby.”

  “Then let’s adopt. Or we could consider using a surrogate.”

  “Why should we when I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own child?” She spread her arms, searching for a way to explain her deep yearning. “Can’t you understand how much I love being a mother? Or how much joy I got from carrying a new life inside me. I’ve wanted another baby ever since I potty-trained Dani—long before she ever developed leukemia.”

  “Believe me, if anyone knows that, I do.” He released a humorless snort. “I was the one breaking the land speed record to get home because you were ovulating. I was the one who had to listen to you sob your heart out two weeks later. And I was the one racing to the drugstore for tampons because you believed keeping them in the house demonstrated a lack of faith.”

  “Then you understand how much I want this. Don’t you see? If we conceive a match for Dani, then it’ll be a double blessing. We’ll have another child to love, and Dani will have some peace of mind about her future. I want your baby, Nick. And I’m willing to face the small risk of another pregnancy to have him.”

  “Well, I'm not! Because I was also the one who had to pick out a casket for our son after you nearly died giving birth to him.” He stared at her silently shaking his head and eventually continued in a broken voice, “I can't handle losing another child or the guilt if something happens to you. If you refuse to take the morning after pill and become pregnant, you'll do it without my approval. I won't take responsibility for killing you.”

  It had been less than a month since his return, and already they were right back where they'd left off before their marriage ended—with Nick’s paranoia and inability to compromise driving a wedge between them.

  “Thank you very much, Nick. I’d almost forgotten why I divorced you.” She yanked the comforter off of him and wound it around herself as she stood, which left him sitting in the middle of the sofa bed, stark naked. “I’m thinking I should go upstairs and put Adam’s ring back on. At least he’s willing to give me more children.” She took two steps from the sofa bed, and the sound of a key turning in the front door’s lock made her freeze in her tracks. “Ohmigosh! Dani must’ve come home.”

  Nick yanked one of the pillows over his man parts as the door swung open. Ryan strode into the foyer, soaking wet with his arm around their daughter.

  Dani glanced down at Sam’s panties lying on the floor at the entrance to the living room and then over at her naked father shielding his privates. “Oh, jeez.” She rolled her eyes at Ryan. “I guess they’re talking to each other again.”

  The boy turned a deep shade of pink, clearly aware a lot more than conversation had been going on.

  “What’re you doing here?” A hot flush seeped through Sam’s body as she pulled the blanket tighter around herself. “You were supposed to be staying at Haley’s. And what’re you doing out with Ryan at this time of night?”

  “Dani’s sick,” Ryan explained, making the answers to all of Sam’s questions unimportant. “She’s got a fever, and her throat’s sore.”

  “Oh, God, no.” Sam rushed into the foyer and pressed her lips to her daughter’s face, which was indeed on fire. She glanced over at Nick discreetly trying to collect his clothing without exposing himself. “What if she’s fallen out of remission?”

  “She could simply have a virus or something,” he said, picking up his jeans and polo shirt. “Don’t buy trouble before it goes on sale. I’ll go call Dr. Chase.” He backed his way into the dining room with his clothing, heading toward the kitchen phone.

  “At his home number, not the one for his answering service,” she yelled after him. “It’s in the little white book by the phone.” In the meantime, she could only pray Dani had caught something minor.

  Sam hugged her little girl, clenching her fists to suppress the powerful urge to follow Nick and beat on him. It took twice that self-restraint not to remind him that a second child of theirs might die because he’d refused to have another baby.

  No doubt, Nick would be blaming himself enough for both of them. So for once, she didn’t want or need the last word.

  ~*~

  There was nothing like being forced to eat a serving of crow on top of a super-sized helping of terror to nauseate a man. Nick’s hand trembled as he punched out Adam’s number. Mercifully, it only rang twice before the hematologist answered with a sleepy, “Dr. Chase.”

  “Adam, it’s Nick Riverá.” He hugged the phone to his shoulder while he pulled on his underwear and jeans. “I’m sorry to wake you.”

  “If you’re looking for Samantha—”

  “No. Look, I won’t blame you if you tell me to go to hell, but I hope for my daughter’s sake you won’t. Dani’s running a fever and has a sore throat.”

  “Thanks. It’s nice to hear you have such a high opinion of my professionalism.”

  “Damn. I’m not apologizing very well, am I?”

  “No, you’re not. But that’s immaterial. The only thing I’m concerned with is your daughter’s health.”

  “Thank you. Please believe me. I’m really sorry I acted like such an ass. You didn’t deserve th
at. But I love Sam, and I—”

  “Try convincing her of that. As for the apology, forget about it. In your shoes, I’d probably be an even bigger jerk.”

  Nick would have willingly groveled if Chase hadn’t been so gracious. The man was one of the best doctors in his field. If anyone could help Dani, he could.

  After hanging up the phone, Nick pulled on his polo shirt and returned to the living room. Samantha had gone upstairs to get dressed. He found Ryan sitting in the armchair with Dani in his lap, rocking her. The boy looked terrified.

  “Thanks for taking care of her, Ryan. You should go home and get some sleep.”

  “No.” The kid shook his head, adamantly refusing. “I want to stay with her. I promised.”

  “What did Adam say?” Sam asked as she descended the front staircase wearing jeans and a T-shirt from the Billy Joel and Elton John concert they’d attended a few years ago.

  “He’ll meet us at the ER to run some tests.”

  Dani moaned. “Not another bone marrow.”

  “Shhh....it’s gonna be okay, Angel,” Ryan comforted.

  “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t know how much it hurts.”

  “No, I don’t,” the boy admitted. “But I know you can handle whatever you have to, and I’ll help you.”

  Nick glanced at Sam and picked up his discarded socks from the living room floor. “I guess Ryan’s going to the hospital with us.”

  “You should call home, so your sister and Bethany don’t worry,” Dani suggested.

  Ryan dug his cell phone out of his pocket and made the call while Nick and Sam each put on their socks and sneakers. When they were ready to leave, the boy stood with Dani in his arms.

  “I can walk, Ry. I’m not an invalid.”

  “Sorry.” He set her on her feet and grabbed her shoulders to steady her.

  “I’ll pull the SUV up to the front porch so the three of you won’t get wet,” Nick told Sam whose frightened gaze said she would never forgive him if anything happened to their daughter. What Sam didn’t realize was her forgiveness would be the least of his worries. He didn’t need her to remind him that if he’d had even a fraction of her courage, they might not be in this situation.

  She had no idea how he’d struggled with deciding between risking her life to have another child or putting Dani’s survival in jeopardy. The choice between the life of his wife or child was a decision no man should ever have to make.

  Sure, Sam could’ve had an uneventful pregnancy that might have resulted in the match it now looked like Dani might need. At the same time, there’d been no guarantee a sibling would be a potential donor for her. Michael hadn’t been. Dani had been in remission and there’d been a good chance she would never need a transplant. If he’d given in to Sam’s pleading, he could’ve easily lost her.

  If only he’d had a crystal ball back then to guide him. Instead, he’d allowed his fear to decide and destroy his marriage. At least when they’d lost their son, nothing could’ve prevented his death. However, now, if their little girl died, Nick would have only his cowardice to blame.

  ~*~

  The windshield wipers slapped back and forth while Sam huddled against the front passenger door, trembling. There would have to be a storm tonight of all nights.

  She glanced to the back seat at Ryan stroking her daughter’s head, and resentment welled in her chest. She should be holding her child right now. Dani should want her.

  And yet, Sam couldn’t deny that the boy was amazing. He gave Dani just the right blend of loving support and encouragement without dismissing her strength and ability to make her own choices. It was a talent Dani’s father had never mastered, let alone understood.

  Nick glanced over at her and his gaze drifted down to her left hand. “I see you put Chase’s ring back on when you went upstairs.”

  Only because she didn’t want Adam wondering why she wasn’t wearing it. This crisis was hardly the time to explain she couldn’t marry him because she was still in love with her ex. However, she wasn’t about to tell Nick that. “Please keep your eyes on the road.”

  He returned his attention to his driving and after several silent moments, he raised his gaze to the rearview mirror. “So, Ryan, why don’t you explain to us how my daughter ended up riding in your car tonight?”

  “Daddy, it wasn’t his fault,” Dani cut Ryan off before he could open his mouth. “I lied to you. Haley and I asked her dad to drive us to the dance Ryan where Ryan was playing. We told Mr. Simmons you were coming to get us. I wanted Ryan to drive us home.”

  “Oh, man.” Nick winced. “I forgot your band was performing tonight.”

  “The guys were kind of disappointed you didn’t come,” Ryan told him.

  “I’m sorry. It completely slipped my mind.”

  “Gee, I wonder why?” Sam glared at him. No doubt he’d been too distracted by his plans to seduce her.

  “Believe me, Dani, if I had remembered the dance, you wouldn’t have gone to Haley’s overnight until I’d talked to her father,” Nick told their daughter. “Your mother and I aren’t stupid. We were teenagers once, too.”

  “Yeah, back before the Big Bang.” Dani snorted.

  Sam smiled. Despite Dani’s understandable fear, at least she still had her sense of humor.

  “It was partly my fault,” Ryan confessed. “I knew she wasn’t supposed to ride with me.”

  “In the future, please remember that,” Nick told him. “And I promise we’ll try to bring Dani to your next gig.”

  Assuming their daughter was well enough. Sam swallowed hard, imagining the worst.

  “And you, young lady,” Nick said, glancing at Dani in the rearview mirror, “don’t think because you’re sick that lets you off the hook. Why didn’t you simply ask if you could go to the dance and have us pick you up like you told Mr. Simmons? Why’d you lie to me?”

  A flash of lightning reflected off the tears shimmering in Dani’s eyes. “Because after you wouldn’t let me go to any of Ryan’s rehearsals, I thought you’d automatically say no.”

  “There’s a big difference between you attending a dance and hanging around a band’s rehearsals like some rock ‘n roll groupie.”

  The rain came down in a torrent, creating a sheet of water on the windshield that the wipers couldn’t handle. Shaking, Sam reached over and squeezed Nick’s arm. “Now isn’t a good time for an inquisition. She doesn’t feel well, and you need to concentrate on the road.”

  “You wanna know why I wanted to ride home with Ryan?” Dani sobbed, ignoring Sam’s attempt at intervening. “It’s because I was pretty sure I was sick again. And I want to have sex before I die.”

  Nick veered off onto the road’s shoulder as Sam whipped around and stared at Ryan.

  “I swear, Mr. and Mrs. R, I didn’t touch her,” the boy quickly assured them, scowling at Dani. “Why would you tell your parents something like that? Your dad is likely to kill me.”

  “Because it’s true. I’m not gonna get to do any of the things other girls will—like go to college and get married and have kids.”

  Sam reached into the back seat and took her daughter’s hand. “You don’t know that, sweet pea.”

  “And neither do you! You can’t magically make me healthy.”

  Jake Manion had told Sam that terminally ill kids often felt subconscious rage toward their parents and blamed them for their illness. It was a universal law that mothers and fathers were supposed to protect their children and keep them safe and healthy.

  “Dani, we understand you’re angry, and you have every reason to be. What you’ve had to deal with stinks. But you must know your daddy and I would’ve been sick in your place if we could have. Having sex before you’re ready isn’t the answer. That’s how I became a mother before I should have. You need to enjoy being fourteen and trust that we and Dr. Chase will do everything possible to make sure you live a long and healthy life.”

  “Don’t worry, Mom. Ryan the kiss-up was more worried a
bout Dad hating him than he was about gettin’ with me.”

  Nick stared straight ahead, giving no indication of his thoughts. Either he was simply waiting for the downpour to let up before continuing their drive, or he was contemplating choking someone. Judging from the way he was strangling the steering wheel, maybe three someones.

  ~*~

  A full five minutes elapsed before the storm subsided enough for Nick to safely drive the last few miles to the hospital. For the remainder of the trip, he unsuccessfully tried to shove the mental image of his daughter’s seduction attempt out of his mind.

  Damn it. She was only fourteen. When Sam caressed him and begged him to make love to her fifteen years ago, she’d been nearly eighteen. At almost twenty-one, he’d had at least a little self-control—although, granted, not enough. So no sixteen year-old boy could be expected to resist a girl under those circumstances.

  Thank God Ryan had shown more restraint than Nick had. He prayed the friendship he’d forged with the boy would continue to deter him.

  He had no illusions his daughter would remain a virgin forever, but he’d at least like her to celebrate her sixteenth birthday before she gave it away to some guy.

  Since the heavy rain had slowed them down, Adam was already waiting at the hospital. Sam and Dani followed a nurse back to an exam room, while Nick and Ryan sat out in the waiting area with Adam.

  “As soon as Sam gets Dani into a hospital gown and the nurse takes her vitals, we can join them,” Adam reassured Ryan, no doubt to avoid talking directly to Nick. “I asked them to assign a larger room so all three of you can stay with her.”

  “Thanks. I really appreciate you seeing her in the middle of the night,” Nick told him. Any other specialist would’ve let the ER attending handle her case until morning. “I know I don’t deserve any special favors from you.”

  “I came for Samantha.”

  That was what Nick had been afraid of. He’d hoped the man had shown up for Dani. “You know, I wouldn’t choose any doctor over you to care for my daughter. And if you weren’t after Sam, I’d probably like you. So I feel it’s only fair to warn you that, if you got out of bed and hurried over here in the middle of a storm to romance my wife, you’re wasting your time. She belongs with me.”