Broken Fae

by Caroline Peckham

  As it went on, I lowered my head a little and hunted the crowd, my features pinched as I feigned the effects of their spell. Beyond their ranks was a shadowy figure, their face ever changing, their eyes pinned on me. Fear rippled through my core as I stared at them. King. The one who’d killed countless Fae, who’d tried to get Elise to kill herself for his sick ritual. And the one I vowed to hand to Elise no matter what it took.

  King moved through the crowd like a wraith and I dropped to my knees, gasping loudly as I started to fear they knew I was faking this.

  King approached the altar, looking up at me and I fought the urge to attack them now. I'd seen their power, I couldn't take them on alone. But I hoped I could find a way to defeat them if I bided my time.

  "I know you," they spoke, King's face becoming male and weathered, his voice a dark threat. "You fought me."

  "I regret it,” I begged, seriously needing King to believe me. "I was helping a friend, but she's not mine to help anymore. I've found a place with the Black Card. And I don't want to be alone any longer."

  His currently blue eyes trailed over me and he nodded slowly, keeping me in his gaze. "You will serve me and the Card," he growled and I felt the brunt of his power as he tried to Dark Coerce me. The magic washed over my chest and fear slid through me as I worried the ring’s power wouldn’t be strong enough to counter it. But then the fire in me blazed and destroyed it in a rush of energy that scored through my limbs. Thank fuck.

  I nodded as if his spell had worked and he smiled satisfactorily. He stood there waiting as the Card continued to chant and I quickly recalled what else I'd seen in my vision. What he was waiting to hear.

  "I heard the call," I rasped.

  "And the Black Card answered," chimed the rest of the room.

  "And now I shall answer too," I breathed, letting a smile pull at the corner of my mouth like this initiation pleased me. King handed me a robe and I rose to my feet, pulling it on and tugging up the hood. "I'll follow the path the Card Master deals," I said firmly. "Until my card is cut."

  "Let the hand of fate deal true," everyone replied and my heart beat frantically against my ribcage as the weight of what I’d just done settled over me.

  King turned away, seemingly satisfied and a heavy breath left me as the members of the Black Card swarmed forward to help me down from the altar. I fell into their ranks with a surge of adrenaline racing through my blood.

  I was one of them. A spy lurking in their midst. And King was my mark.

  ***

  After a week of expecting to be summoned to exclusive meetings or welcomed into secret circles or some shit, I heard nothing more from the Black Card. And as I was working to act just like a good little initiated weirdo, I had to spend my time in school withdrawing even more than usual. New members were notorious for cutting off their friends and becoming distant. Luckily for me, I didn't have any friends, so I had no one to distance myself from. But even as I thought that, it made my gut twist. I'd spent so much of my life fearing what was lurking in my past, waiting to pounce on me at any opportunity that I hadn't allowed myself a single friend at Aurora Academy. My P.I. was the closest thing I had to family, but friends my age? Nope. Maybe I'd been overcautious. Maybe I could have allowed myself some semblance of a life here. Even if I was putting myself at risk of being discovered by whoever was searching for me from my past life.

  I sat on the edge of the roof of the Vega Dorms, my legs hanging over the precipice that stretched out far below me. I still had my uniform trousers on, but my chest was bare, the sinking sun making the ink in my skin glint wetly in the light. I admired the set of wings around my ring finger, wondering what kind of magic could have made it possible for me to avoid Dark Coercion or any kind of mental invasion. Since I'd had it, I’d realised Sirens no longer affected me either as well as other Orders with mind or emotional manipulation powers. I wondered how long this protection might last though. It was a secret between me and the stars, one I couldn't risk telling anyone about - apart from Bill of course who'd decided it was ancient hocus pocus that I should count my blessings for and leave it at that. Whatever this shit was though, it was no doubt valuable as hell. But I hadn't found anything in the library that even hinted at what it could be. It was a mystery and maybe it would remain as one.

  The stars gifted me a vision of Ryder suddenly, offering me a few seconds warning that he was coming this way up the fire escape. I frowned, wondering what the Lunar King wanted, but the stars wouldn't offer me any more than they had, only a vague feeling that his intentions weren't malicious.

  I heard him step onto the roof and didn't bother to turn my head. "What do you want, Ryder?"

  “Does The Sight give you eyes in the back of your head, Big Bird?"

  "Something like that," I muttered, fixing my gaze on the horizon.

  Ryder's boot appeared on the low wall beside where I was sitting and I glanced up at him, but he was looking straight ahead, his jaw tight. He was still in his uniform, but his tie was loose around his neck and fresh blood speckled his white button down.

  He moved to stand right on the edge of the wall, his gaze dropping to the ground far below without a single flicker of fear in his eyes. I guess the guy had earth magic to cushion his fall, but snakes sure as shit couldn't fly. I got the feeling Ryder didn’t give a shit either way though. He was just happy to stare death in the face and tell it to go fuck itself. I imagined it had listened on a few occasions too.

  "Did you just come up here to watch the sunset with me?" I deadpanned.

  "No," he grunted.

  Right.

  "So why are you here?" I pushed.

  Silence pressed in on my ears and I considered just flying away instead of dealing with this bullshit. Was he lurking in on my favourite spot now?

  "I never liked you," Ryder said thoughtfully and a muscle ticked in my jaw.

  "Is there a but to that sentence or are you here for a fight, because believe me I am all fucking in." I looked to him, wondering if he really had come here for that. I wouldn't put it past him challenging the most powerful Fae in Aurora. Maybe he really did want my rooftop. He'd probably give me a good run for my money too, but I'd still beat his ass. This roof was mine.

  Ryder suddenly dropped down to sit beside me and rested his hands on his knees, his posture tense. "I always thought you were an arrogant piece of shit, lording it up here in your own space, never speaking to anyone around school. Took me this fucking long to figure out you like being alone for the same reason I do."

  "And what's that?" I indulged this strange turn of events, feeling the stars willing me to do so. I kept my eyes on the sunset though, the splash of pink and orange setting the horizon aflame.

  "You've never met a single fuck worth letting in. Not 'til...her." He said the word with scorn, but I heard the hurt in his voice too. His shoulders were tense with anger and I couldn't deny I knew the feeling well.

  "Well, now she belongs to someone else. So that's that," I muttered, picking up a small stone beside me on the wall and tossing it over the edge.

  Ryder grunted in answer, his hands balling into tight fists.

  "Why are you here, Ryder?" I asked again and he growled low in his throat.

  "Mariella," he forced out and my brows arched as a dawning realisation swept over me.

  I released a breath of anger, about to get to my feet when Ryder snatched my arm and yanked on it to keep me in place. He fixed me in his dark green eyes and the flames inside me swirled up to block his hypnosis alongside my own mental barriers.

  "If you wanna say something, say it in reality." I shoved him off of me and he bared his teeth.

  I half expected him to leave, but he didn't, his fingers twitching like he was hungry for a knife to gut me with.

  He growled again, looking away from me. "Fine," he hissed. "You said you only get visions for people you know well, so...what the fuck do you wanna know?"

  I stared at him in disbelief. I was torn between feeling re
ally fucking sorry for the guy if this was how desperate he was, and mildly offended that he was trying to offer a piece of himself to me for the sake of me giving him a vision of Mariella.

  I was about to refuse and tell him to fuck off, when the stars pulled me away into a vision that absorbed me in it entirely. I was with Ryder, laughing my damn head off about something while standing in what I guessed was his room. And he was smiling at me like he wasn't a psycho but an actual normal Fae. I felt a tug towards him, a bond that made me want to hang out with him, taunt him, joke with him. It was as if he was my star-damned...friend.

  I was yanked back out of the vision and found my heart beating out a wild rhythm.

  By the sun, what the fuck was that?

  I looked at Ryder, seeing none of the man I'd just witnessed inside that vision. His eyes narrowed on me, but he didn't ask what I'd just seen. Asshole never poked his nose in where it wasn’t wanted, had to give him that.

  I still felt the urge to leave, but the stars' will was clear and I had made a vow with myself to listen to their guidance. But did I really want to be friends with this asshole? Even as I thought about refusing, fate shifted and I saw the alternative. Of Ryder alone, broken, shattered. I blinked it away and frowned as I looked at him again, his gaze set moodily on his knees. I didn't want that. For some reason, I was important to him. And it looked like he might be important to me. Maybe I really could find Mariella for him. Maybe I could give him the peace he was hunting for. I didn't know the details about what the Oscura woman had done to him exactly, but I'd heard the rumours just like everyone else had. She'd kept him as a prisoner in her house for over a year, and the scars on his body were all I really needed to see to guess what he'd been through while he was with her.

  I sighed, shaking my head. This was fucking insanity.

  "You're really willing to do this? Because you can't fake it, Ryder, you have to be open, tell me about yourself, not just surface level bullshit. And none of this macho crap you show the world. Professor Mystice told me you have to have truly bonded with someone to receive visions on their behalf." As I said the word bonded, he flinched.

  I expected him to be put off and leave, but he still remained in place. His shoulders dropped a little and I glanced at his taut expression. He looked like he was about to give himself an aneurysm.

  I snorted a laugh and he scowled at me.

  "You don't have to give me a kidney, asshole, just tell me something about yourself. Something real," I said, figuring he needed a nudge and he muttered curses under his breath.

  "I'd rather give you both of my kidneys and a lung to save me from this shit. But..." He hissed dangerously. "I want that bitch at my mercy and if this is what it takes then fucking fine."

  He sounded furious, as if I was the one who'd dragged his ass up here and demanded he make friends with me. Definitely wasn't. This was my roof, and frankly a Harpy guarded their nest with the ferocity of a pissed off eagle, so he was lucky I was letting him stay.

  "You want something real?" He laughed icily then slid his blazer off and ripped his shirt over his head. He pointed to an X tattoo branded over his heart with a sneer on his lips. "This is real. She put it there. Elise. And every fucking day it reminds me that she's not mine. I wake up every morning ready to tear into my flesh and get rid of it, but I don't. Because it's the last piece of her I have. So how's that for real?" he snarled, getting to his feet and striding away from me.

  "Ryder," I called after him, standing up on the wall and finding him already heading down the fire escape. For fuck's sake, am I really going to chase after him?

  My feet were moving before I realised I'd made the decision and I half jogged to catch him on the stairs. I followed him all the way down to the ground and he hissed at me, warning me to stay back.

  "You're not really getting the idea of this bonding shit." I folded my arms and he glanced around as if he was concerned someone might see us together, tossing up a silencing bubble for good measure. "If you want this to work, you can't run away from your feelings every time one surfaces."

  He winced, his knuckles tight and aiming the word pain at me.

  "Let's take a walk," I muttered, brushing past him and heading down a path in the direction of The Iron Wood. I glanced back once to check Ryder was following. He was.

  I didn't know why I was going out on a limb for him - even the stars’ vision hadn't been that convincing. But the feeling it had left me with was undeniable. I wanted this on some level. Maybe it was because he was one of the only people in the world right now who could understand what it was like to lose Elise. Dante had a whole family to talk to, me and Ryder were alone in this shitstorm. So maybe it wasn't the worst idea to discuss Elise with him.

  We made it to The Iron Wood and the fall wind swirling between the trees made me feel calm. Even Ryder seemed to relax as he moved to my side. There was something about this place that always felt peaceful. Maybe it was just the connection with nature or the way the light filtered through the trees, either way I knew it was the perfect place to bleed some secrets to each other.

  "I have her branded on me too," I told Ryder after a while as we picked our way along the rocks that lined a stream. He was in front of me so I couldn't see his expression, but I suspected he preferred it that way. "Here," I said and he paused, glancing back over his shoulder at me as I pointed out the Libra star sign tattooed over my heart. "I saw a vision of me with it before I met her, it's why I thought we were mates. That and...I saw her with those silver rings around her eyes."

  "And you thought you'd be the one to claim her?" he guessed, shadows sweeping over him as the tree canopy swayed overhead.

  "Yeah," I said truthfully.

  "I still crave her," he growled, a possessiveness to his voice. "And I want to punish her for this fucking mess she's left in her wake."

  "She didn't choose, the stars did," I said a little bitterly.

  "I can always rewrite them," Ryder hissed. "I'll gut the Lion King in his sleep, then she's fair game again."

  I barked a laugh and he smirked, telling me he hadn't been entirely serious. "Yeah, I'm sure she'll come crawling back to you after you've killed her Elysian Mate. Great plan, asshole."

  He chuckled darkly. "You never know."

  "I don't need a vision to show me how that one would go," I said, my gaze falling to that X over his heart again. I always thought Ryder was trouble when it came to Elise, that he would put her in danger just by the association of his gang. But I'd never stopped to consider that this seemingly heartless creature not only had a heart, but that he had offered it in its entirety to our girl - my girl. No, Leon's girl. Fuck.

  "You getting any visions yet, Big Bird?" Ryder asked, reminding me he was only having this conversation with me for one reason.

  I shook my head and he hissed impatiently.

  "Friends aren't made in a day, not that I have a whole lot of experience with that." I moved to sit on one of the rocks and watch the stream run by and Ryder dropped down a few feet away.

  "Friends," he tsked. "A friend is a traitor waiting to happen. People have to respect and fear you in my position or they're a threat."

  "I'm not in your little gang," I said. "And I don't respect or fear you so we're at ground zero."

  A rattle sounded in his chest. "I can make you do both, Big Bird, just give me a reason."

  "I've got nothing to lose, asshole. That makes me immune to your bullshit." I smirked at him, but the words rang through the hollow space in my chest and he frowned as he felt that twinge of pain in me.

  He jerked his chin at my arm. "Do you do your own ink?"

  "Nah, do you?"

  "Most of it," he muttered.

  "Do you take clients? Seems like the perfect hobby for you, getting to drink their pain in while you drag a needle over their flesh."

  He chuckled low in his throat and I fought a smile at the sound of this supposedly scary motherfucker sharing a joke with me.

  "I can just as
easily start a fight and break bones and I don't have to waste time designing a tattoo before I do it," he said, amusement lacing his tone.

  "Can you block it out?" I wondered aloud. "Or do you feel all your classmate's pain all of the time? The sting of rejection...aching hearts." My own heart beat uncomfortably in my chest at those words and Ryder shifted, slipping his hand into his pocket and taking out a razor blade.

  "This helps me focus." He slit his thumb open and blood ran over his flesh. "It's sharp enough to block that shit out whenever I don't want to feel emotional pain. Mine or otherwise..." He looked to the blood with a cold indifference in his eyes.

  "How does it help with, you know...her," I spoke to a rock instead of him and Ryder cleared his throat.

  "I'd have to cut my heart out of my chest with a serrated knife to stop feeling that," he admitted and my heart tugged for him and this pain we shared.

  Elise burst into my mind and I got to my feet in an instant. She was coming this way, moving with the speed of her Order in the direction of the beach. But she was going to run straight into us if we didn't move. Fuck.

  "Elise is coming this way," I told Ryder and he got to his feet too.

  I let my wings erupt from my back, but hesitated before I took off, my instincts keeping me there. She shot into the clearing on the other side of the stream before I could second guess myself and her eyes widened as she came to a halt and looked between us in surprise.

  "What the hell are you two doing out here?" she gasped, seeming confused at finding us together. Which I guessed was kind of fucking weird.