Atlas Lost

by Alaska Angelini

  Ri’s expressionless face had her head lowering, but her eyes stayed on his.

  “I forgive you for speaking about our guest in such a manner. I blame myself. I’m afraid I let my emotions override sense upon her arrival. You see, Cara may be Paltenian, but she poses no threat to us. In fact…” Ri swept in behind Cara to pull her against him. When his hand flattened on her stomach and trailed to her hip, my entire body buzzed with madness. Large fingers wrapped around her wrist while she fought to break his grasp. “My Ina has just as much right to be here as you. Maybe more if we wed.” Stained fingertips had both of us gasping.

  “No.” I shook my head, but couldn’t break the connection.

  “Ina? Your highness, you’ve claimed this traitor human as your own? You’re making her Ri?”

  “Claimed? Not yet. But she is already part of me. As for her color, it answers my call. Watch.”

  “What are you doing?” Cara tried twisting in his hold. “Ri? Wait…it hurts! Wait…”

  Loud screams rose in pitch as the dark color blanketed over her fingers and hands. It crept up her wrists, branching out and climbing to her mid-forearm like vines. I tried rushing forward, but my feet were cemented to the ground. I could barely tear my eyes away from what I was seeing. Had it not been for the white color that caught my attention, I might not have noticed the contrasting streaks weaving throughout her black hair.

  “Stop! Ri, stop!”

  “What have you done?” Cara’s sobs grew louder, turning to angry howls before Ri extinguished her voice, pinning her in his arms as she went wild.

  “My possible queen hasn’t accepted her future quite yet, but I’m sure with everyone’s assistance, we can convince her it’s not so bad here. What do you think, Beth? You want to start being nice to her?”

  “She’s the Paltenian queen.”

  “Does she look Paltenian to you? I see Ri. I see me. Are you standing against me, Beth?”

  The threat was clear as Ri nuzzled Cara’s neck.

  “N-No. Never.”

  “Good, because my choice is my own. Who I choose as my queen is final. You saw a human-Paltenian queen yesterday. You see a possible Ri warrior today. She grows stronger, I feel it. Now, go. Spread the word of how powerful your king is. Let everyone know there’s consequences for questioning my choice. I’ll be listening.”

  The last was a hiss through clenched teeth as she raced out. The moment the door shut, Ri spun Cara, lowering inches from her face. My entire body shook with rage as I watched in disbelief. Dark skin turned tan, and tattoos became apparent as his features and build morphed into mine. Cara nearly collapsed in his arms.

  “It had to be done. I swear, I didn’t plan it. I only felt your anger and came to your call.”

  “How…? Ri?”

  He smiled. “Is it Ri? Or am I Atlas? Is any of this even real? You were thinking that not long ago. What if this is a dream? Your dream?”

  Cara blinked back the tears, wiggling in his arms.

  “No. Change back. Fix my arms.”

  I watched as his brow creased. Closer, he pulled her in.

  “I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

  “But...” Her shoulders shook, “you have to. I can’t be like this.”

  “Because of Atlas? Do you think he’ll not want you? Do you think his people will scorn a queen tied to Ri?”

  At her trembling lips, he smiled even bigger.

  “If Atlas fails to bring Kelu, I could be like this for you. I can be him. You can still have your moments together. We are tied. Do you feel Atlas inside me, Ina? Hold me. Feel me. I know you can sense his presence. How bad do you want him?”

  Cara’s breath caught while her eyes searched mine. But they weren’t mine, they were his.

  “Cara!” Harder, my pants pushed free from my mouth. “Ri, let go of her.”

  “This isn’t so bad, right? You can’t even tell.”

  Tattooed fingers wove through her long hair, twisting gently while he angled her head back.

  “You’re not Atlas. You’ll never be Atlas, and I will never be your queen. Never!”

  Pain exploded in my cheek as if Cara had slapped me instead of Ri. Her taste engulfed me just as fast, and it was because Ri had her trapped and was kissing her. Sweetness turned to blood, and blood to fire over my tongue as she bit down, trying to fight him off.

  “Fix me! Fix m-me. I…fix. At-las?”

  “Cara! Ri! I swear, I’m going to kill you!”

  But he didn’t answer. Everything I had been sensing stopped. The pain, her flavor. Ri’s surprise and fear suddenly became my own as our links merged. He knew I was here, and it was all for show so I’d snap and bring him Kelu. But not this. Not Cara.

  “Ina?”

  Limp arms dangled as her head fell back and her legs gave out.

  “Ina, this isn’t funny. Wake up.”

  “Let me in,” I roared in my mind. “Bring me in, Ri!”

  For the first time, he turned right to me. “Not without your sister.”

  “What have you done? What did you do to her?”

  Ri’s confusion mixed with the flood of my emotions. He carried her to the bed, feeling her pulse as he laid her down. Shallow breaths barely came. Random spasms shook her legs, but other than that, she showed no sign of life.

  I tried to get closer, hitting a wall next to the bed and pacing in its place. “Let me help her. Bring me in, dammit. She’s human. She can’t do this! Your darkness is too much.”

  “She was fine. This is not me. It’s you. What have you done?”

  “Me? I…”

  I glanced at Cara, meeting Ri’s accusatory stare. For the first time, the ache in my head became visible. I could sense it, but not feel the pain. Yet, there was more. My stomach. Lu’s pain was also in me, lingering in the background.

  “What is that, Atlas? What are you hiding?” Slowly, he stood, tugging on our connection. The tie burned into my core as if he’d shoved his fist right through my stomach. The agony snapped me clear out of the room and back into Lu’s. The migraine that hit upon my return was nearly crippling. Lu gagged, falling over the side of the bed and rushing toward the far end of the room to become ill.

  “Oh, God.” I groaned, trying to stand. I could barely open my eyes as knocking sounded on the door. It became harder with each passing second. “Come in.”

  Kelu opened the barrier, her smile fading as she took in me, holding my head, and Lu, huddled naked on the floor, throwing up in what I could only perceive as a blurry waste basket.

  “What did I miss? Were you two up drinking last night? And, if so, is there something I should know?”

  “The wave,” I managed. “It came through. You’re not ill?”

  “No. I feel great. How do you know it came through? Did you see it?”

  “Lu did. I didn’t listen to him. I’m a fool.”

  Lu heaved again, putting up his hand. “He admitted it. He’s a fool.”

  “What did you do, Atlas?”

  “I thought I had time. We went to Cara. I think we hurt her. She passed out. She’s not well.” I swallowed back the bile as the lights increased the nausea. “I didn’t see the mist. I was so sure I would. I didn’t believe Lu when he said he did. Fuck. I need to get back. I need to check on my mate.”

  “Not like that you’re not. To the crystal room. Fast. Lu, catch up.”

  Kelu’s arm went around me as she led us through the door.

  “Was Ri there? Did he see her collapse?”

  “Yeah. Bastard was there all right.”

  “Good. Then she is looked after.”

  “I wouldn’t say that’s a comfort, Kelu.”

  At her expression, I planted my feet, turning her to face me.

  “I’m sorry. I keep doing that, and it’s hurting you. This entire situation has worn on me, and I’m lashing out at everything. It’s not helping matters. I just want Cara back. She’s not well. She hasn’t been this entire time, and I just made everything worse.�
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  “She’ll be okay, brother. One way or another, we’ll have her back soon.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because. We’re Paltenians. She’s a Paltenian.”

  All I could do was nod as I continued toward the crystal room.

  “Kelu. Her arms.” I glanced over, trying not to show the fear. “When you were with Ri, did the darkness take over your hair and skin?”

  “You mean with color?”

  Again, I nodded.

  “Cara’s fingertips were Ri. They were gray. And her hair. Parts turned white. As a show for his people, he brought the dark color to her forearms. He told the woman in her room she was part Ri. That she was of him.”

  “Nothing like that ever happened to me,” Kelu whispered. “Never. Are you sure he wasn’t tricking you?”

  I let her open the door and followed her inside. The healing effects were almost immediate, bringing my migraine down to a dull ache.

  “No. I don’t believe he was. Cara was terrified. She didn’t want the woman to know. When Ri made the darkness take over her even more, she tried to fight him off. That’s when she collapsed. I thought it was because of him, but when I made myself known, he said it was me. He felt something. The energy wave and its effects, I believe. He was genuinely afraid for her. That, I felt. He…cares for her.”

  “He’s not all bad, Atlas. I know he’s done things…” Kelu stopped, “unforgiveable things. But who was he before that? He didn’t know us. We didn’t know him. We were both fighting an ancestral war. We were just as caught up in it as he was. No, we didn’t go to his extreme, nor would we even fathom to, but we’re not of shadow. We weren’t raised that way. Ri hates it,” she rushed out. “He hates who and what he is, maybe more than we do. Do you not see his desperation to change? All he wants is light. Maybe if I was stronger.” Kelu’s eyes clouded with tears. “I thought I could do it. That I could end this for good. I was so sure I could change him.”

  “I know you wish you could, but that’s impossible.”

  “It is, Atlas? Is it really? I’m not so sure.”

  Chapter 32

  Cara

  The shadows were all I saw. All I knew as I stared into the dark abyss harboring the large expanse of the room. Consciously, I was aware there were items inside the hidden spaces. What, I couldn’t recall at the moment. But there were things. A lamp. A table. A portable mirror as tall as I was. Pointless things, but objects, nonetheless. The makeup of these hidden things was no different than the mysterious pressures I kept feeling in my own shadows inside me. Something big was there I couldn’t see. Perhaps it was evil, but the fear associated with the knowledge was leaving as I kept my gaze averted from my stained hands. Traumas, internal pain. Those were in the darkness too, barely identifiable. All facets of the same thing.

  Messages were coming through. Realizations I’d neglected to face my entire life. Heartbreak. Bullying. Loneliness. Shadows. The word was becoming my best friend. It didn’t want to leave. The sadness. The pain. The hatred I’d acquired as I let my entire life play before me once again. Ri would take the internal darkness if I asked him and leave me with only light, but I was tired of this back and forth. My soul was tired. More so than my body. I was an ancient. The Dron had said it, and I knew from the visions I’d received it was true. My lives were countless. My lessons, never-ending. Each birth taught me something new. So what was it this time?

  The answer didn’t come. Just the shadows, which kept presenting themselves. I should have been scared. After all, it wasn’t of light. But did that mean it wasn’t good?

  I wasn’t so sure.

  Cautiously, I untucked my hand from under the pillow and slid it into view on the sheet. The grayish-black reached mid-forearm. It didn’t end in a perfect line. There was a fading, extending a good half-inch above the majority. The color begged to go higher. To continue to take me over.

  A tear ran down the side of my face, soaking into the pillow as I moved each graphite digit. Had I not been introduced into this world, perhaps I would have thought it an interesting tattoo. But I knew the truth. Those not human would associate me with what was wrong with the world. With evil deeds and conspiracy. I’d be looked down upon. Maybe they’d even attempt to murder me without even knowing who I was on the inside.

  At the thought, I let my mind wander to Ri. Wasn’t that exactly what he went through? Every appearance he made, people had to know who he was. He had a reputation. Not much of an identity. He’d never really had a choice to be anything other than what his parents programmed him to be. The road he’d taken was a hard one. I felt it. I felt him more so than ever. My heart contracted, and more tears escaped. What a hard existence. A cruel one. Was he still programmed, or had the light stolen that away? Had falling in love with Kelu broken down everything he’d known? I could feel the emotions, but I couldn’t read his mind to know. Not that it mattered. I wouldn’t be here much longer. I’d run just like Kelu told me too, and maybe I’d just keep going. I couldn’t go back to Atlas like this. His people would never understand. They’d never accept me for who I was becoming.

  “How are you feeling?”

  At the approaching footsteps, I wiped away the tears.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You hurt everywhere. I can feel it. Are you still hungry? It’s almost dinner time.”

  Ri sat on the bed, but I didn’t look at him. I tucked my hand back under the pillow, staring at the shadows.

  “I’m fine. I don’t want to eat.”

  “You need to. I’ll have them bring you something anyway.”

  He didn’t so much as move, but I felt the order he’d telepathically put out. It was a thickness in my mind, not to mention my stomach. There were so many sensations everywhere. An ache here. A pulling there. How could someone go through so much in such a short amount of time? It wasn’t right. None of this was.

  “Atlas was here. Before you went unconscious. Did you know that?”

  “No.”

  I stayed still. Maybe Ri meant to get my attention by exposing the truth, but I didn’t want to hear anything right now. I wanted to be alone.

  “Why do you think he doesn’t save you by giving over his sister? I’d give mine if it were to retrieve Kelu.”

  I shrugged.

  “I don’t understand. I’m trying. It just doesn’t make sense. I guess it didn’t help I killed his wife and child. He’s probably afraid I’ll kill Kelu. He should be scared I’ll kill you. Yet, seeing you’re still alive, he should know Kelu would be fine with me. But he doesn’t bring her.”

  “You’re talking in circles. Can I be alone?”

  “No.”

  Movement finally drew my eyes, and I watched Ri’s hand slide under the pillow and pull out mine. He lifted, drawing my arm closer to him. Prickling stabbed into my skin and I tried to jerk back, throwing him a glare.

  “What are you doing, trying to move it higher?”

  “Lower. I was able on your thumb. Of course, I hadn’t broken the connection then.” He got quiet, trailing his fingers down to my wrist. The color didn’t budge. Again, he leveled his thumb on the line, making a path toward my open palm.

  “I happen to like the way it looks, Ina. Atlas won’t mind your new appearance.”

  “You can’t do it.”

  Ri let me pull my hand free of his. I tucked it under the pillow, going back to the shadows that almost seemed to speak to me. Within seconds, a knock sounded, and Ri stood, heading over to the door. When he returned with a tray, I robotically sat up. The routine was inside me. If I prolonged the inevitable, it was going to take that much longer to finally have him leave so I could be by myself.

  “Look,” he said, pushing a cup closer. “Coffee. Just what you wanted.”

  “Is this your apology?”

  I took the cup, sliding over the sugar to spoon in.

  “Yes. I’m afraid I’m not very good at them. Lack of experience, I guess you could say.”

  “
Loss of ego.” I glanced up into pale yellow eyes, not knowing where the words had come from. They made sense, though. “The light. It’s cleansing you. Shedding ego is the first sign of change.”

  “That’s a good thing?”

  “You could say that.”

  I sipped the coffee, nearly moaning. The tears returned, but I held them at bay as I processed the million revelations that kept making themselves known. Things like appreciation. Untapped knowledge. Gratefulness.

  “I had them bring lots of fruits. I figured—”

  “You'd drowned out the coffee. You want more light and the drink will lower my frequency.” My eyes rose at the voice of my intuition speaking out loud. “You’re going to use me again. Ri.”

  “I gave you coffee. I’m saying I’m sorry about your skin, even though in my opinion it looks better. Does that count for nothing? Can you blame me for wanting to stay nice to you? You should be thanking me.”

  “You’re unbelievable, do you know that? Here I thought I’d get some sort of break. My head hurts. I don’t feel good. I’m on the verge of throwing up, and you tell me you want more light.”

  “Just a little.”

  “I can’t do a little! Neither can you. Did you learn nothing from last time? I killed that girl. Killed her! She’s dead, and it’s all our fault. She was light. Good, pure, light. And we snuffed it so it would fill us instead. Can you feel her, Ri? I do. I feel them all. I hear their cries and moans for release. Do you hear them like me, or am I just special?”

  The bitter sarcasm couldn’t be contained. I was angry. More than angry. I was sick, tired, guilty, and homesick for my mate and my own damn bed. I couldn’t take much more of anything. The need to scream nearly choked me. It was suffocating, harboring a different need. A darkness that was all too familiar. A seductress.

  “No killing this time. A little light. That is all. I won’t let you go overboard, and you won’t let me. We’ll be a team. We’ll test it out and see if it works.”