Atlas Lost

by Alaska Angelini

  My breath came out broken as I watched Beth’s reflection inch into the room. The anger was there, but so was fear. I’d seen that expression before on Emi-Ehn’s face when I nearly killed her guard. And it was calling to me, changing my mood once again to dominate any thoughts that tried to push the need away.

  “Sire wishes you to accompany him to dinner. I’m to prepare you.”

  I turned from the golden mirror, walking wide to stay away from her as she headed to the lantern. With each step, she followed my moves. Her eyes never left mine, and I didn’t break my gaze as she hung a long black dress on the hook, protruding the wall.

  “Your body language speaks volumes. Are you going to come over and let me dress you, or are you planning to escape? I have to tell you, there’s a guard at Ri’s door if you should make it out of this room. Which you won’t.”

  “The last didn’t sound so confident, Beth. Are you afraid?”

  “Of you? You’re human. Nothing more. Your arms are half Ri. So what.”

  A smile pulled at the sides of my lips as I stepped forward. A voice in the back of my mind told me not to go farther. If I did, I might not be able to stop myself. But did I even want to? Beth wasn’t a good person. Did it matter if I took only her?

  “Hurry up. I don’t have all day. Your hair takes forever to fix.”

  “You need to leave.”

  “I don’t take orders from you. Traitor,” she mouthed.

  “Do you want to say that louder? I’m right here.” I licked my lips, taking a big step forward. The shadows blossomed with adrenaline-induced palpitations. Thump-thump. My pulse swelled in my lips. Thump-Thump. I knew I was already gone. My darker side ruled me, and it was thriving under the game of taking her. “Come to me, Beth. One step. Meet me halfway.”

  “You’ve lost your mind.”

  “I’m about to take your life. Last chance to leave.”

  Yellow eyes rolled, but I saw her hands shaking. She was confused. Curious, but not stupid.

  “Beth.”

  My eyelids closed as I took a deep breath. Light and dark fought each other, screaming over right and wrong. My hands flattened on my cheeks. I couldn’t give into the shadows. I couldn’t take another life. If I did—

  Nails protruded from my fingers, slashing through the air as I dove at Beth. Where the action had come from, I didn’t know. I cut along her jaw, and we hit the floor hard, rolling as she fought to gain control over my swinging arms. My claws were in it for blood. I wanted a fight just as much as I wanted her soul.

  “You—” The rest got cut off as Beth screamed through her change, rolling on top of me. The female reptilian face that stared back was one I hadn’t expected. The wide mouth went even farther back than the males, reaching to the sides of her head. Razor sharp teeth snapped an inch from my face, and I threw my weight at hers, unable to budge her heavily, muscled form.

  “Big mistake, Paltenian. I’m going to enjoy this.”

  I screamed, shredding my claws over the bridge of her nose. Black splashed my face, and I bucked my hips, kicking my feet out as she lurched forward. We slid higher, falling to our sides as we both tried to gain control.

  “You’re growing weak, traitor queen. Is this all you’ve got?”

  The laugh had my grip on her hands tightening. With Beth’s darkness, I could feel my own. I watched her laugh wildly. The blood lust was there. She was so sure she had her kill.

  Tighter, I gripped, matching her smile. I was calming. I wasn’t thinking or worrying what I was doing. A part of me knew I was going to die if I slipped into that mindset again. I held no power there. Not against Ri. It was dark for dark. Blood for blood.

  Beth grunted as she tried prying my arm down to gain leverage. I matched her strength, pushing hard enough to have her eyes widening. She wasn’t smiling anymore. She was genuinely fighting to best me, and she couldn’t win.

  “Enough of this. We have to get you dressed. Ri will be angry if you’re late.”

  I pushed my force harder, rolling on top. Claws tore into my forearm, but I knew she hadn’t done it on purpose. The submission was there. She was back in her human form, but my throat was already constricting. It tightened, energetically connecting with its match. Beth went rigid, unable to move as I lowered my lips to hover over hers.

  “P-Please. P-Pal-tenian.”

  Strangled words got lost in the suction of my kiss. Heat enflamed, and thickness crept down my throat, making me moan and move against Beth’s waist. Lust took over every inch of me. It was all I knew as I followed her descent to my center. I barely recalled letting her head fall to the ground as I stood. Dazed, I moved, stumbling through Ri’s bedroom. When I opened his door, my Ri already had the guard locked into position. He stood unmoving, his mouth parted as though he wanted to scream. I leaned in, sucking him in him as well. When he crumbled to the floor, all I saw was black. Black hands still hanging in mid-air. Black walls. Black floors. The air was even tinted with a dark midst. It followed me down the hall, oozing from each guard’s mouth I passed.

  “Cara, baby? Kelu told me what she did. I’m coming. Don’t go anywhere. I’m on my way.”

  I turned right, heading down the stairs. Blood dripped from my fingertips from the cut on my forearm, splashing against the stone. Was I even touching the floor anymore? I felt like I was floating through a dark void of death. It followed me, filling me. Strengthening me. And I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to.

  “Cara! Answer me. Talk to me, baby. Where are you?”

  White hair swayed against my chest as I made another turn, heading down even deeper. Yells were beginning to echo in the distance, but they didn’t scare me. Maybe a part of myself was relieved. Or maybe I wanted to consume more Ri. I wasn’t well. I wasn’t right. That I did know.

  “Do you remember saying how peaceful you felt at our new home? It’s time to come back, Cara. Remember that feeling? Remember how happy you were with me? Can you remember how it feels when I hold you? Talk to me. Let me know you’re okay.”

  I blinked at the images, barely connecting emotionally. The dark mist kept coming, leaking a constant stream into my mouth. At every hall I swept by, it swirled around, joining the rest—a soul-sucking cocktail waiting for me to drink it in.

  “Do you remember…?” Atlas panted as if he were running. “I love you, Cara. Do you hear me? I love you, and you love me. Twin flames, remember? Twin Flames. That’s eternal. Feel it. Speak to me.”

  Flames.

  My feet came to a stop as I stared down at my nearly black fingers. I snapped, seeing a fire ignite. Slowly, I lifted, bringing the bright blue and orange flame level with my face.

  “Forever, baby. Me and you. Come on. Tell me where you are.”

  “Atlas?”

  Pounding footsteps and yells from floors above had my head jerking back. Ri’s eyes met mine, and I didn’t think, I ran.

  “Ina!”

  “Atlas, where are you? Atlas!”

  “I’m about to go in the portal. There had to be preparation. Where are you?”

  “Running! I’m trying to get out of the castle.”

  “Don’t!”

  Atlas’s pleas were cut off as weight crashed into me from the side. I didn’t think as large arms scooped me up. Fire blazed from my fingertips, burning into the guard’s face at my touch. Before he could drop me, Ri appeared, snatching me from his grasp.

  “Let go! Let go of me!”

  My hands swung, but it was no use. My power was gone with his grasp.

  “You are in so much trouble, Ina. Look at you. Look at you!”

  We were suddenly back in the tower, and he was dragging me to the mirror. What I saw had the air seizing in my lungs. Any trace of black hair was gone. The Ri in me covered my arms, fading out to a light gray at the base of my throat. What was left behind was ghostly pale skin. Even the freckles on my face were gone. I didn’t know the woman who stared back at me. She was a stranger, just as the person who’d killed Beth and all
those guards.

  “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Ina?” Ri’s eyes searched mine in the mirror, but he was just as lost on what to say as I was. I was in trouble, and not the sort that would leave me punished for my actions. And he knew it. Ri had created a monster in me. One possibly bigger than him.

  “You held fire. You held it on your fingers. How did you do that?”

  “I’ve done it since before you took me.”

  “Impossible. You’re human.”

  “It’s true.”

  “What aren’t you telling me? You saw your lives. Who are you?”

  All I could do was stare. It wasn’t a question I could answer with an explanation.

  “Everything.”

  “No. That doesn’t make sense. I felt what you saw. Saw what you saw. I saw nothing out of the ordinary. What are you?”

  “Everything,” I repeated. “You saw what my over-soul wanted you to see. I’m dust, I’m air. I’m fire and water. I am Atlas, and he is me. I’ve been a cat-person. I’ve lived on other planets. I’ve been to war. Many lives I’ve lived as a priestess. A queen. I am a goddess. I’m of the Devine. Source. A farmer. A doctor. A murderer. An only child. One of seventeen. I’ve died every way conceivable, and I’ve been unborn. I’m an ancient, never-ending, eternal consciousness that will shed this shell, and grow another. You said I chose this life for a reason. That I knew what was going to happen when I chose this life.” I searched my over-soul, brushing the highest part that linked me and Atlas together. “You’re wrong. I didn’t choose this life. It chose me through the call.”

  Ri shook his head, confused. “What call?”

  “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I just know something is happening, and I’m here to be a part of it. But not like this. You have to take the Ri out of me, or else…”

  Yellow eyes darkened as they held mine.

  “You know what happens when I do.”

  “You’ll change. You’ll become evil again. Mean. The real Ri. The murderous monster everyone fears.”

  “With how many guards you took of mine, I may make that description sound weak. You’ve never seen me mean. But you have experienced being in that state of mind. You understand the shadow world.”

  “It’s hard to control.”

  “It’s impossible,” he cut in. “If I take this from you, you can’t be close to me. Not until it fades. You’ll have to go back to the cell.”

  “Cara, I’m here. I’m going to attempt to get in. Where are you? Speak!”

  My mind locked Atlas’s voice deep, protecting it with everything I had.

  “I’m okay. Give me a moment. Stay there.”

  “The cell might not be far enough away. Those guards, I can’t even tell you how many I took. I should be out of the castle. You could let me go home.”

  “With Atlas?”

  “Do you see what’s happening to me? Ri, I need help.”

  “And I’m about to give it to you. You stay in the cell. When I’m better, I’ll bring you back to the tower. We’ll figure out what to do. I’ll help you.”

  Big hands settled on my face as he smiled.

  “I will admit, it was pretty amazing to watch your dark warrior, Ina. Even if it is dangerous for you. And for my kingdom. But I’ve never seen anything like that before. It was…”

  “Not something for you to consider having. Light. Kelu. Remember? We talked about this. I told you you needed to learn how to control your shadow self. Control it. No more light. It is the only way.”

  Ri gave a slow nod, tightening his jaw as he moved in, pressing his lips to mine. The tug was automatic and painful as he began sucking the darkness out of me. Screams from my victims echoed hauntingly in my ears. They merged with mine, scraping my insides as they made their way into Ri. With each second, he trembled harder, growling until a deep roar shook the stone walls around us. Even the floor rippled as he yelled through the power.

  “I won’t! I—”

  His fingers dug into my hips, pushing me back as he broke away and wiped his mouth in disgust. But it wasn’t because of me. I felt the longing for his mate. The primal need to make her his own was the only thing on his mind. It was all he felt—all he wanted. The grief I had experienced before my break hadn’t been mine at all. It was his. All the sadness inside me was all his: karmically, ancestrally. There was so much trauma and pain held in his existence, it just kept growing and digging deeper into his sense of self.

  “I’m just going to,” I took a step toward the door, seeing flashes of my tan forearms as I moved back. Relief appeared, only to vanish as Ri lunged, gripping my shoulders. One minute, we were in the tower, the next, at the entrance to the dungeon. Hard, he squeezed, transitioning between monster to man, and back to monster. His battle was like nothing I could put into words. It was demonic, and he was fighting it with everything he had.

  “Lock her up. Fast, before I find better things to do with her. Don’t leave her side. Don’t let me in.”

  “Hold strong. Remember.”

  Ri hissed at me as he disappeared, leaving me with a reptilian guard. A smile was there on his morphed face, but it was frozen in time. My hooks were already sunk in. I had no intention of staying here. My mate needed me, and I was going home no matter what that meant.

  Chapter 35

  Atlas

  “Cara? If you don’t answer me, I’m coming in.”

  I wanted to curse at her silence. I could tell she was still there, but she wasn’t answering. Was she hurt? In trouble? How was I supposed to know if she wouldn’t talk to me?

  “Five seconds. That’s all you have to answer.”

  “Busy. Stay.”

  “I’ve been staying! What’s happening?”

  Just as I asked, a white blur broke through the gates of the castle, racing toward the desert, right at me. Black mist followed behind, and the scream that shot from her mouth was enough to have me barreling over the boulder I was resting behind. I took off running, confused at what I was seeing. Cara was changing right before my eyes. The darkness was holding tight, and it didn’t matter how fast she was going, she couldn’t leave it behind.

  “Atlas, run! He’ll come!”

  Faster, I pushed myself, barely slowing as I approached. The Ri was inching up her forearms, wanting to go higher by each breath.

  “Hurry, to the portal.”

  The order barely left me as I took her in my arms and spun. Ri was feet away, seething through heavy pants as he blocked my path. A large axe rested in his hand, and he let it swing back and forth as he took in our every move.

  “Let us by. Cara can’t stay here.”

  The evil substance tornadoed around, growing thicker as we stood motionless. Cara wouldn’t stop screaming as a steady flow forced its way in her mouth. My hand quickly tried to cover the entrance, but it moved to her nose, ears, and eyes.

  “Ri, please! Look at her! You have to let us go. She can’t stay here.”

  “She killed another guard. She wants darkness, I’m giving it to her. Where’s Kelu?”

  At my pause, he swung the axe right for us. The heavy metal shook the ground as it broke apart dry dirt.

  “Let us by or make it stop!”

  “That’s not how it works. Mate for mate. Yours brought this on herself.”

  I held Cara tighter, barely jumping to the side in time as the blade cut the air next to my head.

  “A-A-Atlas!”

  Cara’s wide eyes paled as she dug her nails into my chest. Panic had my mind scrambling. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing but…

  “I love you,” I whispered. “I love you more than anything.

  My hand flattened on her stomach, and I held our connection, using the part of myself that had lived in the shadows at the beginning of my life in Los Angeles. I called to the dark suffocating her, automatically switching my frequency to that of what filled her. It was all I could think to do. All that made sense. As if it was commanded by my call, it redirected, fo
rcing itself into me, feeding me all the hate I’d tried to contain for years.

  “What are you doing? Atlas!”

  Ri yelled as I roared and raced toward him. The smoke kept coming. We hit the ground hard, and I could barely recall yelling in my mind for Cara to run. My fist came back, and I tried everything I could to slam it through his face. Flashes of my daughter. Pain from Leone. Everything he put Cara through. It all came surging out with each hit I pounded into his face. Ri tried to turn out from under me, but he couldn’t overpower me when I was leveled out. With light and mass amounts of dark that was growing by the second, I was unstoppable. The strength in me skyrocketed, and I accepted it all. My light. My shadow. To be complete, I had to be both.

  “You’re done. Dead. Done.”

  “No! Atlas, please! You have to stop.”

  Cara was grabbing at my arm, but I was being fed so much hatred, I was uncontrollable. I continued to pound my fist into Ri as he tried twisting and turning beneath me. With a snarl, he managed to connect with my cheek as we rolled.

  “You will give me my mate. Kelu is mine.”

  “Never.”

  My body locked as Ri pushed more shadow from himself and commanded it deeper into me. He stood, picking up the axe with his sights on my neck.

  “Stop! Ri, please! Both of you! Stop or so help me.”

  The ground began to shake. Ri paused in lifting the weapon, blinking through what looked to be some sort of fog. Fire engulfed the tips of Cara’s black fingers, dancing as she blew it taller.

  “De ne she lo-le ma te.”

  “Don’t threaten me,” Ri rumbled, pointing the axe in her direction.

  “Take it out of us. Take the shadows from me and Atlas or you leave me no choice.”

  “I just took it back. You disobeyed me. You killed my guards. My people. Now, you run and leave me without Kelu.”

  “Many still live. Take this back, or I will burn you alive. Do you think you’ll have her then?”

  “You couldn’t if you wanted to. Besides, war is not something you can handle, Ina. You don’t want to face me in battle, and another war is exactly what you’re about to start if you don’t have your mate hand over mine.”