The Middle-Aged Amish Widow

by Samantha Price

  Sarah started walking. “If he cries, I won’t hear the end of it for a week. I’ll be right back.”

  Naomi giggled. “I’ll put the pot on the stove.”

  * * *

  Sarah peeped through her kitchen window when she arrived back to a silent house. She saw her mother sitting quietly, cradling David in her arms and talking to him. This didn’t look like the same woman who'd told her she’d had enough of babies.

  She pushed open the kitchen door and walked through.

  “Finally. I thought you’d never come back. What did Isaac say?”

  “He said he’d finish off what he’s working on and come here.”

  A huge grin broke out onto her mother’s face. “Very good.”

  “I’m going back to Naomi’s haus now for a cup of hot tea. Would you like to come?” Sarah already knew the answer. Naomi and her mother still didn’t get along.

  “Nee, I’ll just sit here by myself. An old unwanted lady left alone while her dochder goes to tend to others.”

  Sarah refused to take the bait. “Sounds gut!” She reached out and lifted David out of her mother’s arms.

  “I can watch him.”

  “You never want to watch him.”

  “Well, he’ll keep me company while you go gallivanting.”

  “I’m only going to be next door for half an hour.”

  “And I’m supposed to do what while you’re gone?”

  “I said you could come with me.”

  “Naomi wouldn’t like me over there.”

  “You could try to be a little friendlier with her.”

  “Just leave the little one with me.”

  “What if he cries?”

  “All of them cry. It’s just a message to big people that they need something.”

  Sarah wondered if her mother had suddenly taken ill. “Do you feel all right?”

  “I do. Why?”

  “You’ve never wanted anything to do with him—with David.”

  “He likes me. He smiled at me.”

  “Okay. We can give this a try. I’ll leave him with you for half an hour. He was fed not long ago so he should be all right for a while.”

  Her mother reached up for David and Sarah placed her baby in her mother’s arms. “Are you sure about this?”

  “I’m his grossmammi. Just go would you? We won’t be alone if we’re together, will we, David?”

  That was the first time she’d witnessed her mother speaking to him. And she'd even used his name. “I’ll go now, then. I won’t be long.”

  Her mother didn’t reply, so Sarah hurried over to Naomi’s haus. As much as she loved David, it was nice to have a small amount of free time.

  “Where’s David?”

  “My mudder has him.”

  “Really?”

  “Jah, and what’s more she was the one who offered to look after him. Insisted, actually.”

  “That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. I thought she didn’t want anything to do with him. Isn’t that why she wanted the grossdaddi haus built?”

  “Funny you should mention that.” Sarah proceeded to tell her friend about her mother’s demands and the forthcoming visit of Isaac. “I guess I shouldn’t have mentioned anything to you at this stage. Isaac said he’d call you and see if it was all right that he stay with you again.”

  “Of course it will be. He was great to have around. He was good with the kinner.”

  “I don’t know how you do it with six kinner. I’m at my wit’s end sometimes with only one.”

  “The first one’s always the hardest because you don’t know what to expect. By the time the second one comes along, you‘ve got it all worked out.”

  “There won’t be a second one for me.”

  “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It’s just the way things are. I’m grateful for the one that I have. Things could’ve been very different.”

  “It’ll get easier as David grows.”

  “I hope so.”

  “It will, I promise. And now it seems you’re getting Ruth trained to look after him.”

  “Jah, that was an unexpected thing.”

  “Ach, the tea.” Naomi stood up to make the tea. As she sat back down and passed a cup of tea to Sarah, she said, “Now tell me how you feel about Isaac coming back.”

  “I’ll be pleased to see him.”

  Naomi searched her face. “You can’t hide anything from me.”

  “I’m not. I like him and you know that. But, I’m not a young woman anymore. I’m over forty and now I’ve got my mudder living with me.”

  “That’s perfect. He gets on well with Ruth.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “What if he gets sick like Thomas did? I don’t know if I can do it all again.”

  “Gott gives us strength when we need it, not before. Things will work out if you trust that they will. It all depends what you want. Your life will be easier with a man to look after you.”

  “I can look after myself.”

  “Jah, but it’s not nearly as much fun on your own. You must get lonely.”

  “I do. I have no man to share David with. It would be nice to have a man who would love him as much as I do and then we could watch him grow together. It won’t be too long and he’ll be walking.”

  “Do you love Isaac?”

  Sarah took a sip of tea and slowly lowered the cup to the saucer while she thought. “I don’t know. I like having him around.”

  “That’s a start.”

  “But how do I know I’ll be happy if I marry again? I loved Thomas, but then I watched him slip away from me before my very eyes. It was as though he was taken from me little by little for some time before he died.”

  “You can’t compare what you had with Thomas with what you might have with someone else. If you marry again it doesn’t mean that you didn’t love Thomas and don’t still love him.”

  “I’m glad you said that. I was worried when I first met Isaac and started to like him. Everything within me was in turmoil and confusion that I liked another man. It didn’t seem to make any sense. I certainly wasn’t looking for a husband. I hadn’t even thought about it, not for a split second even.”

  “Sometimes things work like that. Emma Hesh got married just one year after her first husband died. They met at his funeral.”

  “Who’s Emma Hesh?”

  “She’s my cousin from Idaho. Now she writes that she’s never been happier.”

  “How long has she been married now?”

  “Around five years.”

  “I’m glad things worked out for her.”

  “They will for you too.”

  “I’m sure they will, but I guess I have to figure out what I want.”

  “Don’t leave things too long. Remember those pie ladies you told me about.”

  Sarah slowly nodded before she realized her friend was joking, and then she laughed when she saw Naomi’s face. Inside, Sarah wasn’t laughing. For the first time since she met Isaac, she wondered if one of the pie ladies might wear him down.

  How would she feel if he suddenly married one of them?

  Chapter 19

  I will go in the strength of the Lord God:

  I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only.

  Psalm 71:16

  * * *

  Today was the day that Isaac was coming back to look at what was ‘wrong’ with the grossdaddi haus. Sarah knew in her heart that there was nothing wrong with it. What was her mother playing at?

  “Here he is,” her mother said from the couch in Sarah’s living room, where they’d been waiting for Isaac to arrive.

  Sarah stood and saw the taxi pulling up at her house.

  “Aren't you coming out to greet him, Mamm?"

  "Nee. You go out and see him. I’m a little tired this morning."

  Sarah stared hard at her mother. Now she knew for sure and for certain that
her mother was trying to match her with Isaac. Had this been her plan all along? Sarah could tell by the smirk on her mother’s face as she sat there with her hands clasped firmly in her lap that she was plotting. "I know you're up to something, Mamm. And I intend to find out exactly what it is."

  "I'm not up to anything. Now you’d better go out and greet our visitor."

  Sarah took a deep breath and went to meet Isaac. As soon as she stepped out of the house, she looked up to see Isaac standing there staring at her. She couldn't help but smile.

  While the taxi driver retrieved his suitcase from the trunk, he walked toward her.

  "You look well, Sarah."

  "So do you."

  "Where’s David?"

  "He's upstairs sleeping."

  "I'm looking forward to seeing him."

  "I hope we haven't called you all this way for nothing.” She leaned in and whispered, “I think Mamm is being a bit dramatic about the things that she thinks are wrong with the place.”

  He frowned. "Well I suppose there’s only one way to find out."

  “Mamm is waiting for you in the living room. Come inside and sit down for a moment."

  After Isaac paid the taxi driver, he picked up his suitcase and followed Sarah into the house.

  When he and her mother had greeted each other, Sarah asked, "Would you like kaffe, Isaac?"

  "I'll have tea," her mother said before Isaac had a chance to respond.

  "I'd like kaffe. I'll come and help you with it,” Isaac said.

  "Okay. You’re not too tired?"

  “I'm fine," he said.

  She picked up the pot to fill it with water and he took it from her hands.

  “I'll do that," he said.

  "I'm perfectly capable of doing it."

  "Now that I'm here you don't have to do it." He flashed her a big smile.

  Right at that moment, she knew that she didn't want him to leave. She’d been so upset last time he’d left and it would only be harder this time. The only thing was she had to figure out whether she was in love with him or whether it was nothing more than him being a good friend.

  "I've been selfish,” she said.

  "I can't believe that. What have you been selfish about?"

  “I've told Naomi and Abe that we are keeping you here for dinner before you go over there tonight."

  He laughed. "Thank you. I'm glad. That means I get to spend more time with you and David."

  "Do you want to see him now while the water’s boiling?"

  “I'd love to."

  "Follow me."

  They climbed the stairs and she pushed the bedroom door open. There he was, sleeping in the cradle on his back with his arms over his head.

  "He is so precious and beautiful,” Isaac whispered. “How does it feel to be a mother?”

  “It’s given me a new appreciation for my own mother.”

  He chuckled. "You are blessed, you know.”

  “Yes, I know it." She nodded and then she looked at him. “I’ve made your favorite, lamb stew with vegetables for tonight.”

  “Denke.”

  “I don’t know if it’ll be as gut as yours.”

  “I’m certain it will be.”

  She smiled and looked back at David.

  “How is your mother doing with him?”

  “She’s doting on him. She’s cooing and talking to him. It’s not at all what I expected. And she’s amazed that he hardly ever cries.”

  “A contented infant seldom cries.”

  “I don’t know about that. Mamm says it’s all to do with the personality. Apparently I was a crying boppli.”

  He looked back at David. “Will he be awake soon?”

  “Probably another hour.” She beckoned to him to follow she walked to the door. After they were outside the room, she closed the door quietly.

  “Have you seen the things that are wrong with Ruth’s place?” he whispered to her as they started down the stairs.

  She held the railing, stopped and turned slightly. “I think it’s all up here.” She tapped the side of her head.

  He smiled. “We’ll find out tomorrow.”

  “I hope you haven’t come all this way for nothing.”

  “I was praying for an excuse to see you again.”

  She smiled at him, turned and walked down the remaining stairs.

  “You two took a long time,” Ruth said when the pair sat back down in the living room.

  Sarah jumped up. “The pot on the stove.”

  “I forgot too.”

  “You stay, Isaac. I’ll make the kaffe.” Sarah hurried to the kitchen, hoping her mother would behave herself. Just in case she didn’t, Sarah kept an ear out to hear what might be said in her absence.

  “She needs a man around, Isaac, and you’ve needed a woman for quite some time.”

  Sarah shook her head. Her mother had started already. At least she was now openly matchmaking rather than doing it in a sneaky way.

  Isaac answered, “Jah, and denke for telling all those women to cook me pies. I don’t know if I can ever look at another one.”

  “Another pie or another woman?”

  Isaac laughed. “Another pie. Or another pie lady.”

  “What do you think of my Sarah?”

  Sarah froze in the kitchen, nearly spilling the boiling water she was pouring into the mug. She never thought her mother would come out so brazenly with something like that.

  “She’s lovely.”

  “Why don’t you marry her?”

  He laughed again. “It takes two.”

  “So you’re in love with her and don’t know how she feels?”

  “It’s not as easy as that, Ruth. My home’s not here.”

  “It could be. What’s keeping you in Ohio? I left, you can too.”

  “Kaffe time!” Sarah burst back into the room with coffee and cookies. As she set the tray on the low table, she could feel Isaac’s eyes on her. She knew he was wondering if she’d heard what her mother and he had been talking about.

  While they drank their hot drinks and talked about other things, Sarah wondered if Isaac might ever consider leaving Ohio. When she realized she was hoping something more would come of their friendship, she snapped herself from her daydreams.

  “How long do you plan on staying, Isaac?” Sarah asked.

  “It depends on how much work needs to be done on Ruth’s place.”

  Of course, silly question.

  “I’ll look at it tomorrow in the daylight, first thing.”

  Sarah nodded.

  “First thing? I’m getting picked up tomorrow by Elspeth Muir. She’s taking me to a quilting bee.”

  “I thought you left off quilting, Mamm. Don’t your fingers still bother you?”

  Ruth set her beady eyes onto Sarah. “More goes on at one of those things than quilting.”

  “Gossiping?” Sarah asked.

  Her mother wagged a finger at her. “That’s a dreadful thing to say, Sarah. It’s a time of gathering together and a time of fellowship.”

  Sarah laughed. “I was only joking, Mamm.”

  Isaac sniggered.

  “Anyway, I won’t be here in the morning, Isaac. Sarah will have to take you through and show you everything on my list.”

  This was another scheme in her mother’s grand plan. She’d had no interest in quilting for years. It made sense she would try to pick Sarah's next husband because Ruth had never liked her late husband, Thomas.

  “So far I don't see anything wrong with anything. Just some windows that are sticking and that’s easy to fix."

  "I was afraid that would be the case."

  "What’s going on with her?"

  "Isn't that obvious?"

  "It's obvious to me, but I didn't know if it would be obvious to you."

  Sarah smiled and, not wanting to embarrass herself, she asked, "What do you think it is?"

  "I think she's trying to match the two of us together. Every time you walked out of the room last nig
ht she told me how much David needs a vadder."

  Sarah put her hand to her head. "I'm so sorry."

  "There is nothing for you to be sorry about." He laughed. "You didn't do anything, did you?"

  She playfully slapped him on his arm. "Of course I didn't. I had no idea what she was doing. I guess that's not entirely true; it crossed my mind once or twice and then I overheard what she said to you yesterday when I was getting the kaffe."

  He slumped into Ruth’s couch in her living room. "Well, what do you think we should do about it?”

  "I don't know if there's anything to do, unless we tell her to mind her own business, and she is not going to take to kindly to that."

  “I didn’t mean about Ruth. I meant about us."

  "What do you mean?”

  “What if Ruth’s right about us? We might make a good match.”

  "I thought you weren’t interested in getting married."

  "I genuinely wasn't until I met you. I thought that was the last thing I would ever consider. The 'pie ladies' didn't have a chance.”

  Sarah sank heavily into the couch opposite him. She never thought she would consider another marriage either, but Isaac was one man she could see herself married to. Was he proposing to her? He hadn't asked her straight out, so everything was kind of awkward. She cleared her throat and looked around. “So nothing in this place needs fixing?"

  "There are a couple of windows sticking, but that's all."

  Sarah shook her head. "I'm continually amazed by my mother. I can't believe she took David with her to the quilting bee. And I’m amazed that she made you come all this way."

  “I don't know why you’re so surprised about her taking David with her. She is the grossmammi after all."

  "When she came here, she told me she would not help me with him and wanted to have a separate place so she wouldn't hear him cry.” Talking about David kept the conversation from becoming awkward.

  "It appears the little man has captured her heart."

  Sarah smiled. “It seems to be that way."

  "Now what did we decide about getting married?"

  She looked at him wondering if he was joking or whether he was serious.

  “We haven't decided anything yet.” She thought that was the safest thing to say.

  He looked down and gave a small chuckle. Sarah considered another change of subject was needed.