The Middle-Aged Amish Widow

by Samantha Price

  “What are you going to say to Ruth about the things on her list?"

  "I'll tell her that everything was in her imagination.”

  "That won’t go down well with her."

  He laughed. "What do you think I should say, then?"

  "Perhaps you should say that you’ll need to stay a few weeks to carefully monitor the ongoing situation."

  He laughed and set his green eyes on her. "Is that what you want me to do—stay a few extra weeks?"

  She nodded. “I’d like that. If you can.”

  "That's what I will do, then."

  They exchanged smiles.

  "Let me take you out somewhere for lunch today."

  "I can't today. I told my mudder I would collect her and David from the quilting bee and then we're off to the markets."

  "Tomorrow?"

  She nodded. "I'd like that."

  Chapter 20

  As the cold of snow in the time of harvest,

  so is a faithful messenger to them that send him:

  for he refresheth the soul of his masters.

  Proverbs 25:13

  * * *

  The next day she told her mother she was going out with Isaac. Her mother offered to look after David for her.

  While David was having his morning nap, Ruth sat at the kitchen table watching her daughter wash up from breakfast.

  "This might be your last chance, you know."

  "My last chance for what?"

  "Your last chance for marriage."

  "I'm not looking for marriage, Mamm."

  "Well you should be. You shouldn’t let a good man like Isaac go."

  Sarah did her best to ignore her mother while continuing to wash the dishes. "I can't just marry someone because you think they're good, Mamm. It has to be up to me. I know you didn’t like Thomas."

  "I don't see why my input doesn't matter," her mother muttered. “I'd have to see him a lot too.”

  Sarah sighed.

  "Do you know how many women were chasing him and probably still are?" Ruth asked.

  It disturbed Sarah to hear that. She didn't want any other women to be interested in him.

  "That bothers you to hear, doesn't it?"

  She really wanted to tell her mother to mind her own business, but didn't want her mother to feel unwelcome in her house.

  "I know you mean well, but I'm old enough now that you should let me live my life the way I want to live it."

  "That's exactly my point; you’re middle-aged and not getting any younger. It's very hard for a woman like you to find a husband."

  Sarah finished washing the last dish. She knew what her mother said was true. It was easy for the young women to find husbands but not the older widows. Most of them never married again simply because most of the men their age in the community were already married and the older single men often look for younger wives so that they can have a family. It bothered her when her mother was right.

  Isaac was nervous about their first date. He'd tried to propose to Sarah but she had seen it as a joke. He would have to ask her directly if she’d be his wife. That was the only way that she’d know he was serious and not kidding around. His fingers were all over the place as he tried to button his white shirt.

  He had told Ruth the day before that his home was back in Ohio, but the truth was he could make his home anywhere. It was the people who surrounded him that formed his home, not a piece of land or a house. He knew when he'd left Lancaster County after building Ruth's grossdaddi haus that he wanted to make Sarah his wife. He knew then that it was a matter of patience, waiting for her and hoping one day she’d be ready.

  They had exchanged letters and he thought it might take a couple more years of letters going back and forth before he made his next visit to Lancaster County. He was glad it came sooner than that, thanks to Ruth's creativity. He walked downstairs and told Naomi he wouldn't be there for the midday meal.

  "I know. Sarah told me."

  When he saw the small knowing smile on Naomi face, he inquired further, "And exactly what did Sarah tell you?"

  She looked up from kneading the bread. "She told me that the two of you were having lunch together, that's all. Why, is there more?"

  He smiled and shook his head. "Not at this stage."

  "Ah, but there is the possibility of something more?"

  He shook his head again. "You're as bad as Ruth."

  She gasped in an exaggerated manner. "I never thought I would be compared with Ruth."

  He smiled and walked through the kitchen towards the back door. "I'll see you later today. Do you want me to pick anything up for you while I'm out?"

  "Nee denke. I'm okay."

  Isaac headed to Sarah's house. It amazed him how many people didn't get along with Ruth, when he had found her a wonderful friend. She’d been good to him over the years. He’d found out from Sarah that Ruth and Sarah’s late husband had never gotten along, and it was clear that Naomi didn't get along with Ruth either. There had been off and on tension between Ruth and Sarah, but this time ‘round he’d noticed that they were getting along a lot better.

  * * *

  The closer he walked to Sarah's house, the more he knew he didn't want to go home without asking Sarah to marry him. He was hopeful that she would say yes, but he couldn't go back to Ohio without directly asking her. Even if she said ‘no,’ she would know he was interested.

  He didn't like to compare Sarah to his late wife. They had very different personalities, with Veronica being more loud and outgoing than Sarah, who was quiet and seemed happy with her own company. The one thing they had in common was a true and gracious heart, and caring for others.

  As soon as he stepped on the porch, Sarah open the door. He looked into her blue eyes and wanted to take her into his arms, hold her, protect her and love her.

  He wondered what was in her heart. He’d made it clear that he was fond of her and she had agreed to the lunch together. Perhaps there was a chance for him. Today had to be the day he would ask her to marry. He could wait no longer to ask the question.

  "You're right on time," she said with a pretty smile.

  "Good. Shall I hitch the buggy or would you prefer to go by taxi?"

  "I think it would be nice to go by buggy."

  "You stay right there and I'll go and get it ready. Is David coming with us?"

  She shook her head. "Mamm insisted on looking after him."

  Ten minutes later, they were seated in the buggy and ready to go.

  "You can direct me to a nice place for lunch, can't you?"

  She nodded. "I know just the place."

  Isaac clicked the horse forward. In his nervousness, he struggled to find something to talk about. All he wanted was to tell her how he felt about her and how he was pleased to be there. He was glad when she started talking.

  "What did my mudder say last night when you told her you didn't think there was anything wrong except for the window?"

  "I told her what we discussed. I told her I'd have to stick around for a few weeks to monitor the situation."

  Sarah laughed. "And what did she say about that?"

  He scratched his eyebrow. "She thought it was a good idea."

  Sarah laughed again. "Of course she would've."

  As the buggy wound around the narrow roads, he looked up at the clear blue sky. "Looks like we're having a lovely day again today."

  "Jah, the weather has been unusually warm for this time of year."

  There was silence between them for some moments before Sarah had to direct him where to turn. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was a pleasurable quietness—just being in each other's company was a nice feeling.

  When they pulled up not far from the restaurant, Isaac said, "Ah, I've noticed this spot before; is this your favourite lunch place?"

  "I've never actually been inside. But I've driven past it and I've heard nice things about it. I haven't really had a chance to go out much, with David and Mamm, and everything."

 
He helped her down from the buggy.

  "That's understandable. I'm sure they both keep you busy," he said.

  "They do."

  Together they walked to the restaurant. Once they were inside, a waiter seated them at a table near the window.

  Isaac tried to look at the menu, but nerves had taken a hold of him. He didn't feel like eating anything and was tempted just to ask her right then and there and get it off his chest. Then he decided to wait for the right time, rather than have things become awkward and put her on the spot. He wondered what questions he might ask her to see if she would be receptive to marriage, before he made a fool of himself or was rejected.

  "What do you feel like eating?" he asked when he looked up from the menu he hadn't really seen.

  "I think the mushroom steak looks good."

  "Yes, that's what I was thinking. I'll have the same. I haven’t had steak in a while.” He closed the menu and she closed hers.

  It wasn’t long before a waiter was upon them to take their orders.

  When the waiter left, Sarah stared at Isaac. “Are you alright today?”

  “Jah, why?”

  “You seem a little distant or something. I can't quite put my finger on it. Have I done something to upset you?"

  "Nee, you haven't. I don't think you could ever do anything to upset anybody."

  She laughed. "I wish that were true. I upset my mudder all the time. And I'm sure I probably upset other people too."

  He shook his head. "I can't imagine it."

  "Well it's true."

  "Marry me, Sarah," he blurted out.

  "What?"

  He stared at her stunned face. He leaned in and said quietly, "Would you, Sarah Hersler, marry me? Or, at least think about it?"

  She sucked in her lips and her eyes dropped to the table. At that moment he regretted his hastiness. He should’ve waited for a better moment.

  "I'm sorry. It was selfish of me to ask. I know it's probably too soon for you to consider anything like that. And I don't even know if that’s something you’d ever want."

  The waiter brought a pitcher of water and a basket of bread to the table. They both stared at the bread in silence.

  Chapter 21

  Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations;

  Deuteronomy 7:9

  * * *

  Sarah couldn't take her eyes from the bread. She hadn't expected him to propose so suddenly. Not now, not like this. This was what she wanted. But how did she know that everything would turn out well for them? She liked him well enough, and if she would let herself admit it, she knew she already loved him.

  "I'm uncertain. I guess I'm scared of life and how it can change so suddenly. Thomas and I were happy and then he suddenly got ill and then my life changed. Instead of us having a relationship of husband-and-wife I became his nurse, his caretaker. I had lost the man I married long before he died. And then he did die, and then I became a mudder—with no husband.”

  She shook her head and stared at the bread once more. “Nothing was as I thought it would be. When I married Thomas, I expected that we would be together forever and raise many kinner. Somehow deep in my heart, I feel maybe a little bit cheated. That's the best way I can describe it."

  "I know exactly what you mean. It was the same when I married Veronica. We both thought we would grow old together and raise many kinner, just like everyone around us. Then when we finally found out we were going to be parents we were thrilled. And then to lose her like I did, and to lose my baby boy, was beyond belief. If I had the choice, I would have asked Gott to take me. We can't know the mind of Gott. We've both learned that the future has no guarantees."

  She nodded and looked into his green eyes. He was right. Tomorrow is never guaranteed; today was all they had. And she wanted to spend all her todays with him if she was honest with herself. Fear was never far from her heart. Just when she tried to be brave, fear came creeping back. She looked into his face; he was waiting for an answer.

  "I'm confused about how I feel. Part of me wants to marry you, but the other part of me is scared."

  His concerned face broke into a grin. “How about you think on it for awhile? You don't have to decide today, or this week or next month. Take your time."

  "Is that alright?"

  "Of course that's alright." He chuckled. "I feel much better now that I've asked you. I've been a bundle of nerves trying to figure out how to ask you and when was the right time."

  "I feel better too. Now I know how you feel, and I don't have to wonder."

  The waiter brought their food to the table.

  While they ate, they talked about everything else but marriage. Sarah knew by the end of their lunch date that she wanted him in her life on a permanent basis. She was ready to accept his proposal of marriage. They’d both had bad things happen to them in the past, but what if things were different for both of them this time?

  “What are you thinking about, Sarah?”

  She looked into his kind green eyes. “I’m thinking about you. I’m thinking that I don’t want you to leave and if you have to, I want you to come back real quick.”

  The lines in his forehead deepened just slightly. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I will marry you.”

  He smiled, leaned forward and took her hand. “You will?”

  “I will.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  “Nothing. I’ve liked you from the beginning, but it was too soon and then I was scared. I’m still scared. You’re right about us only having today. I want all my days to be with you. I feel good when you’re around—safe and protected.”

  “I can work anywhere. Would you feel better if I moved here?”

  “Would you really do that?”

  “I’d do anything I could to keep you happy.”

  She felt tears stinging behind her eyes. “I’d like that—if you move here. My haus is plenty big enough. I can’t promise you any kinner, that is, except David. At my age, I don’t think I’d be able to have any more.”

  “David is a blessing—an added blessing for me. I’d gotten used to the idea of not having any kinner. I’m not wanting more. If Gott chooses us to have another one, so be it.” He squeezed her hand slightly. “All I want is you.”

  She looked down at their hands clasped together on the table not even worried about what other people might think about their display of affection. “Shall we go home and tell Mamm the gut news?”

  He laughed.

  “Do you think she’ll be shocked?” she asked.

  “She’ll be pleased that her little scheme worked.”

  “The scheme of finding things wrong so you’d have to come back here?”

  “She’ll be pleased all right,” he said. “I hope so anyway.”

  “Well, it’s high time this has happened. I must say I’m shocked.”

  “Are you really so shocked, Mamm?”

  “Jah, I am. You did inherit my stubborn streak, after all.”

  She looked her daughter up and down. “You’ll be looked after when I’m gone.”

  Sarah smiled at Isaac and he smiled back at her.

  “I’ll always look after Sarah, and David too.”

  “David’s asleep. He fell asleep not ten minutes after you left and he’s been asleep ever since. Now, when are you two getting married? I wouldn’t leave it too long.”

  Isaac laughed. “I’ll have to sort out some things back home. We want to get married as soon as we can.”

  “I’ll be your mudder-in-law, Isaac.”

  “Jah, you will.”

  “Why don’t you go home as quick as you can, get things in order and come back and marry my dochder?”

  “That’s kind of what the plan is.”

  “Gut! Then when you get back you can have a look at one of my doors. It’s sticking you know. Just like the
windows.”

  Isaac and Sarah looked at one another. They’d been convinced she had only complained about her place to get him back to Lancaster County. Perhaps they’d been wrong?

  Four weeks later, Sarah and Isaac stood in front of the bishop from Sarah’s community in Lancaster County. They looked into each other’s eyes as the bishop pronounced them married.

  It was a strange feeling for Sarah, as she’d never envisioned or wanted a second marriage. She knew that Isaac felt the same. Gott had blessed them both with a second chance at love and had blessed both of them with David.

  They held hands as they walked out of Sarah’s house where the wedding had taken place.

  “Denke, Sarah. You’ve made me a happy man.”

  “We’ve both been blessed to have such happiness at our age.”

  “I do feel young again.”

  Sarah giggled. “Me too.”

  Sarah turned around and looked back at the house to see her mother standing on the porch, with David firmly in her arms, staring after them as they walked to the head table of the wedding feast in the yard. Months before, she'd been distraught when her mother had announced she’d come to stay, but things had quickly changed. Now she couldn’t imagine her life without her mother close by.

  Isaac, seeing Sarah looking at something, also looked over his shoulder. “I’m glad you two have worked things out.”

  “It’s an ongoing process. Anyway, she’s delighted that we’re married. She said she was looking forward to having her three favorite people under one roof.”

  “Really?”

  Sarah nodded.

  “Just don’t tell your siblings about that.”

  “They wouldn’t believe me if I did.” Sarah turned back and gave her mother a little wave before she sat down at the wedding table next to Isaac. She closed her eyes and thanked God for her unexpected happiness. And the future—she put her future in His hands not knowing what it might bring, but knowing whatever came her way, Gott would always be there right by her side.