Healing Cathy

by Kasey Belle

  “Cathy, look at me. We are mates, jealousy is normal, no matter how irrational.”

  “I know you weren’t a saint, Paul. You’re… How old are you?”

  “Thirty-four.”

  “You’re thirty-four, it would be naïve of me to think you’ve never been on a date. It’s just, well, I feel so out of my league.” She held up her hand to stop his protests. “I didn’t have boyfriends and the only experience I have is Bud. I don’t know what to do with all of this.”

  Paul reached over and took her hand. “You don’t have to figure it out tonight, either, kitten. You feel how you feel, and there is nothing wrong with it. If it makes it any better, I’m a bit out my depth, as well.”

  “You? Why?”

  “I’ve never had a mate before. The wolf in me wants to claim you, and the man in me knows he has to wait. I want you to trust me and feel safe with me. I want to snarl at every man in here, who has been admiring you since the second you walked in the door. I’m trying really hard not to scare you off.”

  “That does make me feel better, thank you.” She had a cheeky grin on her face that brought out the primal beast in him and made him want to turn her over his knee.

  “Glad I could be of assistance,” he offered, wryly, making her giggle. “You have the most beautiful eyes, their mesmerizing.”

  She blushed and softly said, “Thank you. They’re a defect you know? I’m disparaging myself. That’s science talking, not me. It’s a form of albinism. I used to hate them when I was a kid.”

  “Why?”

  “Really? I had red hair and purple eyes. Yeah, nothing for anyone to make fun of there.”

  “Kids made fun of you for that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I would have beaten them up for you.”

  “Thanks. That’s good to know.” She laughed. “You sound like, Jay.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment, he’s a smart kid. Takes after his cousin Paul, you know?”

  The waiter took their orders. Paul ordered the porterhouse and Shelly ordered the filet mignon. Cathy shuddered when he ordered his steak rare. He promptly changed his order to medium rare.

  “You didn’t have to change your order.”

  “I didn’t want to gross you out. I don’t mind eating it medium.”

  “But you prefer it the other way, because you’re a,” she looked around then whispered, “wolf, right?”

  Paul mimicked her and whispered. “Yes.”

  She swatted at him and scolded him for teasing her. “You shouldn’t make fun of red-heads. We are merciless when we are angry.”

  “Oh I would pay to see that, kitten. I probably wouldn’t even spank you for your insolence.”

  The waiter brought their drinks and bread to the table, interrupting their teasing banter. Paul knew the man was just doing his job. However, Paul still wanted to throttle him for his lack of timing. When their server left, he took the easy comradery with him. Cathy was quiet and introspective once again.

  “Kitten, I can see the cogs turning in that beautiful, brilliant brain of yours, from over here. Why don’t you ask me one of those questions before your hair catches fire?”

  Cathy rolled her eyes. “I’m sure there is a red-head joke in there somewhere.”

  He raised an eyebrow, letting her know, he knew a stall tactic when he heard on.

  She took a deep breath and blurted out, “Why do you call me, kitten? Is it because Cat is short for Cathy?”

  “No.” Paul smirked. “Are you sure you want to know? It’ll make you blush.”

  Cathy bit her lip and nodded.

  “When I first laid eyes on you, I thought, you were sexy as fuck. A total sex kitten, my sex kitten.”

  “Oh.” Cathy fanned herself with her napkin. “Wow. It’s hot in here.”

  He leered at her. “I warned you and no, it’s not hot in here.”

  Cathy moved her chair a bit closer to Paul’s and lowered her voice. “Do you belong to a club?”

  “You mean a BDSM club?”

  Cathy nodded.

  “I do. Impact, in San Antonio.” Paul tilted his head, studying her. “Why does that scare you?”

  “Bud belonged to a club of sorts. His friend Randy ran it.” Cathy shivered. “Bud said, Randy taught him everything he knew. Bud used to threaten me with his club. I never really thought he would do it. Bud was far too possessive though I wasn’t willing to take the chance.”

  “Threatened you?”

  Cathy looked around, then leaned in and whispered, “To give me to them, to play with.”

  Just when Paul thought he’d heard it all, she’d drop another bomb, that would have him fighting his shift. Sometimes ignorance really was bliss. Paul closed his eyes and took a cleansing breath. When he opened them, he held Cathy’s gaze. “I would never share you with anyone, not even if it was something you wanted. I don’t share. I sure as hell don’t abuse subs whether they are in my care, or not. I adhere to the tenet of safe, sane, and consensual, as do my friends, who live the lifestyle. Silas Greer, my friend and mentor, owns Impact. He runs it along with his mate, Kieran. Although it is a private club, there is no public nudity or sex allowed.”

  “I thought all those clubs allowed that.”

  “Only in those naughty books you and the rest of the pack women seem to enjoy.”

  Cathy stuck her nose up in the air and in a haughty, prim voice said, “I don’t know to what naughty books, you are referring, sir.”

  Paul barked out a laugh drawing the attention of a few patrons. “I won’t call bullshit on that statement, though we both know it was.”

  Cathy was looking everywhere, but at him, a guilty expression on her face. “I don’t know any such thing.”

  “Right.” Paul leaned a bit closer and spoke in a low voice, “To correct your assumption, no they don’t. If the club is public, there are health codes and standards, club owners have to adhere to. Private clubs, depending on the location, it could go either way with regard to nudity and sex. Silas is shifter as are several of his members. We tend to be possessive and don’t like others to see our mates that way. Even if he allowed it, I wouldn’t partake in that particular club benefit with you.”

  She looked warily at Paul. “Do they, um, hurt the subs?” she asked in a small voice.

  “Are you asking if the Doms practice consensual heavy impact or abuse?”

  For a moment, he thought, she was too afraid to answer his question. He was so damn proud of her when she sat up straight, put her shoulders back, and looked him in the eye. “Both.”

  “Heavy impact is allowed, but only in the private rooms. The rooms are monitored by trained DM’s.”

  “DM?”

  “Dungeon Monitor. The DM’s are both trained Dominants and submissives. They are each assigned a room, and they monitor the video and audio feed from a security room, specifically for the private rooms. The rooms are booked in advance, so the monitors know the scene and the subs safeword, ahead of time. If there is an emergency, they can be in the room within seconds. What we do, what I do, is safe, sane, and consensual. You’ll hear that phrase, a lot. It’s a mantra of sorts. If it will cause physical or mental harm, we won’t do it. If I don’t agree, we won’t do it. If you don’t agree, we definitely won’t do it. The person with the final say about what does or does not happen is the submissive.”

  Their server arrived with their food, interrupting whatever Cathy was about to say. They tucked into their meals. They kept their conversation light as they enjoyed the expertly grilled cuts of beef. He had never enjoyed a meal as much as this one.

  Once the bill was paid, he led her out to the truck. He looked at her, and asked, “Will you come home with me? Just to talk, maybe have a drink. I’m not ready for our night to end.”

  She took a deep breath, then another. “Alright.”

  It wasn’t a resounding, hell, yes, but he would take it. Paul kissed her the palm of her hand. “Thank you, kitten.” He started the veh
icle and pulled out of the parking lot. “Tell me why you were so angry this afternoon.” He grinned at her silent curse. “You thought I forgot, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll let you in on a little secret, kitten. I remember everything.”

  She plucked at a non-existent piece of lint, on her jeans. “Fiona’s pregnant.”

  “I know. That made you mad?”

  “No. Yes. Not at her, at myself.”

  “Why?”

  “It was selfish of me to come here. I didn’t want to be alone. I was afraid. I only thought of myself. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to her or the baby or Emma Grace.”

  Paul reached over and took her hand in his. “Nothing is going to happen to Fiona or her cubs. They are well protected on pack land as are you and Luke. You aren’t selfish. I’m happy you came here. I may never have found you if you hadn’t. Even though you didn’t know it at the time, you were smart to come here. There isn’t anyone who could better protect you than me, my brothers, and my pack.”

  “I keep thinking I should leave.”

  “Think all you want, but you’re staying put. No, don’t argue, listen. There’s no other place for you to go, if there were, you would be there. If I thought for a moment your presence here was a danger to my family, we would leave. We, kitten, not you and Luke, but you, Luke and me. You are my mate and Luke is my cub, whether you agree to the mating or not, is irrelevant. My number one priority is your safety. If you are hell bent on leaving, then I’m going, too. You aren’t going anywhere without me.”

  With a palm to her chest and an Oscar worthy gasp, she asked, “Did you just admit, if I left, you would stalk me?”

  “Yes. Big time. Crazy, hide in your bushes, steal your panties, kind of stalking,” In his best imitation of Buffalo Bill, he said, “I would stalk you. I would stalk you so hard.”

  She scooted away from him and pressed her side against the door, amusement dancing in her eyes the entire time. “Well, that’s good to know. Thank you for admitting your crazy so early on, in our relationship. Less shock later when you become a stage five clinger and purchase abnormal amounts of lotion. I feel so much better now.”

  Paul pulled her hair. “Sassy.”

  Chapter 18

  The rest of the ride to Paul’s home was quiet. Cathy thought about what he said. How they never would have found each other had she not come here. She couldn’t deny the truth in that statement. His highhanded statement about how she wasn’t allowed to leave, didn’t get her ire up. On the contrary, the way he spoke about turning into her stalker, amused her. It was sweet, actually.

  They drove around a tree-lined bend in the road and Paul’s house came into view. It was hard to see in the dark, but it appeared to be a two-story log cabin style home, complete with a wraparound porch. Lights illuminated the front door and spilled out two front windows. “Oh, Paul, it’s beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” The pride in his voice, unmistakable.

  “Did you design it?”

  “I did. The backyard is even better than the front.” He stopped in front of, one of the closed double garage doors. “Sit tight, I’ll come around and help you down, kitten.”

  Cathy admired the stone walk as they made their way up to the porch. “Did you lay the stone and do all the landscaping, as well?”

  “My brothers and I did. We laid the pavers and enclosed the flower beds one of the rare weekends Kell was home after he left the Navy.”

  “How long ago was that?”

  “The house was built four years ago, so a little less than that for the landscaping.”

  “That was when he was going back and forth to help Fiona, right? Fiona said, her husband, David, and Kell were in the Teams together.”

  “Yep, it was around that time.” He unlocked the front door and held it open, for her to enter first. “Welcome home, kitten.”

  She didn’t miss the fact that he said, welcome home, not welcome to my home. She chose to ignore it, for now. One step at a time, Cathy.

  The scent hit her first. His home smelled like him, woodsy and fresh. She fought the urge to rub herself on every available surface, so she could take his scent with her, when she left.

  He led her into a spacious room. The living room, kitchen, and dining area shared one large open space. With no walls to separate the rooms it made for the perfect area to entertain or watch children. The stairway was to the right. A huge stone fireplace, with floor to ceiling shelves on either side, held various types of electronic equipment, dvd’s, and books, made up the far left wall. A large, flat screen television hung above the mantel. A large L-shaped dark brown, leather section was positioned in front of the fireplace and brightly colored, braided rugs decorated the hard wood floors.

  “Wow, Paul this is beautiful.”

  He grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the double French doors off the kitchen.

  “Where are we going?”

  “To show you something even more beautiful.” He flicked on the outside light and opened the door with fanfare. “I give you, the oasis.”

  She smiled. She loved the fact that he liked to tease and joke around.

  “You can’t see a lot of it right now, but you can get the idea.”

  She couldn’t see all of it, but she could see enough. “Oh, wow. It’s so beautiful and peaceful. Is that a grotto on the far end of the pool?”

  “It is. The pool and hot tub separate the grotto down middle. When the pool is on, there’s a waterfall that flows over the entrance. The spa sits eight adults and is completely protected from the elements. Which is nice on cold nights or when it rains.”

  “That outdoor kitchen is awesome. You could put a whole pig on that grill.”

  “Yeah, my brothers are green with envy. They drool over the grill. I won’t let them touch it, of course.”

  “Oh, of course.”

  “The privacy fence helps keep out the animals, and it also acts as extra lighting feature. The top is lined with LED lights.”

  “It’s just absolutely wonderful, Paul. I can’t wait to see it in the daylight.”

  “I’m glad you like it. I built it for my mate.”

  Cathy had no idea how to respond to that. Paul took pity on her. “Why don’t we go sit on the sofa. Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “I would love one, but I better just have water or soda.”

  He smiled indulgently. “You got it, kitten. Go make yourself comfortable.” He gave her a little tap on the ass to get her moving.

  She scowled at him over her shoulder and rubbed her butt cheek. “Hey!”

  He gave her his arrogant Dom look complete with raised eyebrow. She narrowed her eyes and growled. He smirked at her, but otherwise, didn’t respond. She huffed and did as he requested.

  Cathy sat on the couch studying the various family photos and knickknacks that occupied, pretty much, every flat surface of the living area. There were several photos of Paul with his brothers at varying stages of life, several with Paul and Emma Grace, and others with people she recognized from the pack.

  “Here you go.”

  She startled at the sound of Paul’s voice.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, kitten.”

  “That’s alright, I was lost in thought.”

  He handed her a glass and the scent of lemon wafted to her nose.

  “Lemon water?”

  Paul nodded. “I know how much you like it.” He sat on the cushion next to her.

  The fact that he noticed lemon water was her staple beverage had her misty-eyed. How was she supposed to resist him when he noticed little things like that?

  She glanced around the room once more. “Do you know how lucky you are, Paul?”

  He tilted his head and gave her a tender look that warmed her to the core. “For finding you? Yes, I do or were you referring to some other reason?”

  “Sweet talker,” she mumbled.

  “I’m serious.”

  “
I know, that makes it worse.”

  “I’m having a hard time keeping up. Why would my honesty make things worse?”

  “I’m trying to be smart and diligent. All that honesty weakens my resolve.”

  A wide, playful smile crossed his face. “Well now, thank you for divulging that secret, kitten. More ammo for my arsenal.”

  She laid her head back and groaned. “How do you do that? How do you get me to tell you things, I would rather not?”

  He turned towards her, laying his arm casually across the back of the sofa. “I’m a trained professional, kitten, in the department and the dungeon.” He waggled his eyebrows, making her giggle.

  He picked up her hand and played with her fingers. “You can tell me anything you want. I want to know what you’re thinking. So tell me, sweet mate, if you aren’t the reason, then why am I lucky?”

  “You have all of that.” She nodded towards the photos on the end table. “You are so lucky to have such a big family.”

  “You don’t have any family, other than Luke?”

  Cathy shook her head sadly. “No. There’s Jamie, Stacy, and Abbie, but that’s it. I’m an only of only children. When I was little, I longed for siblings.” She sighed. “My mom had complications during my birth. She hemorrhaged, and the doctors had to do a hysterectomy.” She shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, I had friends, but it wasn’t the same.”

  “I do know how lucky I am. You aren’t alone anymore. You have a big family now, kitten.”

  She sipped from her water, unwilling to respond. She wouldn’t get her hopes up, not yet anyway.

  “Tell me what has you so afraid. Is it my lifestyle? The fact that we are mates? Your ex?”

  “All of it, but mostly I’m afraid of making another mistake. I won’t survive it.”

  “I’m going to ask a big favor of you, kitten. I want you to think about it before you answer me.”

  “Alright.”

  “Will you trust me, just a little, to show you how it will be, between us? I promise, you won’t be sorry. I would never hurt you. What we have isn’t a mistake, it never will be. We are fated.”

  “What you want to show me, will it include dominating me?”