Healing Cathy

by Kasey Belle

  “She didn’t misconstrue anything. I believe, she thinks, she can wish it into existence. If she tells enough people, it will get back to you. You will see how much she wants to belong to you, and you will give her what she wants. I can reserve the center dais for you tomorrow night or this weekend, whichever you prefer. You can clear up the misunderstanding.”

  Paul almost shuddered at the cold angry manner in which Silas delivered that offer. Silas had strict codes of conduct when it came to his members. They were to be followed without question, regardless of whether you were a big D or a little s. Abusive behavior, lying, gossiping, and topping from the bottom were strictly prohibited. Of course, those practicing abusive behavior were stripped of their membership without warning. Subs who constantly broke the latter three were also relieved of their memberships. Usually, it only took a little discipline for the sub to see the error of their ways. Most of the time they were looking for attention, but going about getting it the wrong way.

  However, repeat offenders, those who refused to adhere to the rules, were not welcome at Impact.

  “Have Marx do it.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Marx, is still the resident Dom at Impact, is he not?”

  “He is.”

  “Good. Marx loves to make brats cry. Mina Sarnos won’t be able to sit for a month once he’s done with her.”

  “I would think you would want to handle this personally. Her blatant lie could harm any relationship you have with another sub.”

  “You know it’s really not my thing. Even if it was, I wouldn’t dole out the discipline personally. It’s what she wants, and I won’t give her the pleasure.” Moment of truth. “It doesn’t really matter, anyway. There won’t be any other relationships or subs.”

  “What! You’re giving your membership?”

  Paul cringed at the hurt in Silas’ voice. Way to go, Mr. Smooth. “No. I’m sorry I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. Why am I apologizing? You cut me off. Look, could you put me on speaker, so I only have to go over this once. I could use some advice from both of you, anyway.”

  “Alright, go ahead Paul. We can both hear you now.”

  “Hello, Paul. How are things at the ranch?”

  Paul really liked Kieran. Silas’ pup was a walking contradiction. By human standards, he was of average height and build. His tattoos and piercings made him look like the quintessential bad boy. Kieran appeared as if he would rip out your heart if you looked at him the wrong way which couldn’t be further from the truth. Kieran Greer was shy, gentle, and soft-hearted to a fault. Paul had never heard the young sub ever raise his voice.

  “Everything is great at the ranch. Emma Grace is turning four this coming weekend. You and Silas should come to her party. It starts at noon on Saturday. I’m sure Emma Grace would be thrilled to see you again, Kieran. Rumor has it there will be a bounce house.”

  “That’s sounds awesome. What do you think, Silas?”

  “Kieran and I will discuss it and get back to you. If you aren’t quitting, then what did you mean?”

  “I found my mate.”

  Kieran squealed and clapped in the background. Silas congratulated him.

  “There’s more, that’s why I wanted to speak with both of you. I need some advice.”

  “How can we help?” Silas asked.

  “What’s her name?” Kieran asked.

  “Her name is Cathy.” Paul took a deep calming breath to quiet the rage he felt, whenever he thought about what his mate endured, at the hands that fucker. “My mate was married to a man who abused her.”

  Kieran gasped no doubt reliving his own abusive past. He heard Silas whisper words of love and comfort.

  “You want to know how to earn her trust and heal her, without giving up a lifestyle that is as natural to you as breathing. Correct?”

  Paul smiled. He knew Silas would understand. “Yes, exactly.”

  “Are you comfortable giving us details? We will keep it confidential of course.”

  “I trust both of you. You know that. I can tell you what I know, which is a fraction of what she endured.” As Paul walked up his porch steps and into his home. He told them what he knew and about what transpired this afternoon.

  They remained silent until he finished. Paul sat down heavily on the sofa. His laptop began to chime, signaling he had an incoming Skype.

  “Can y’all hold on a second?” He leaned forward, lifted the screen, and was surprised to see Silas and Kieran’s images on the incoming call. He answered the video call and ended the call on his cellphone.

  His friends appeared on the screen. Silas held Kieran on his lap, his young mate’s back to his chest. Kieran gave a little wave. Silas explained, “Kieran thought this would be easier.”

  “Kieran was right.” Paul liked the fact, that he would be able to look at them, while having such a serious conversation.

  Kieran leaned forward, as much as he could, with his Master’s strong arms wrapped around him, and spoke. “I know you think you pushed her too far or maybe overstepped. I don’t think you did. Granted, I don’t know your mate, but I do know myself and my own past. Even after I was free of my father, I never felt truly safe. I always felt, hunted. If someone looked at me too long, walked too close, or, hell, even said hi to me, there was always this part of me that was suspicious of their intentions. When are they going to attack me? When are they going to hurt me? Can I trust them?”

  The shadows in Kieran’s eyes spoke of the abuse he suffered, and the demons that still haunted him. Feeling his mate’s distress, Silas pulled the young man back, nuzzled his neck, and comforted him, surrounding Kieran with his scent.

  “Paul, you know I loved to antagonize, Master Silas.” Kieran glanced back at his Master with a cheeky grin.

  “I loved it, too, pup.” Silas’s evil laughter made Paul smile. Silas was no doubt reliving all the “punishments” he administered to his bratty sub.

  When Kieran turned back to the screen, the shadows gone from his eyes, only peace remained. “I had this idea in my head of what it was that Silas wanted from me. I was wrong of course, but I had no frame of reference.” Kieran shrugged. “I told myself that I fought him and antagonized him, because I wasn’t going to be under anyone’s thumb ever again. I was an adult, not a child. I could do and say anything I wanted, because I survived. I didn’t need anyone. I honestly never really believed what I told myself, but I couldn’t allow myself to let my guard down. I wouldn’t become a victim again. I developed coping mechanisms, tests of a sort; push them away, make them angry, make them reveal their true selves.

  Don’t get me wrong, I wanted someone to care about me, to want me, and to love me. It was something I never had, but I couldn’t trust anyone enough to allow my body, heart, or mind, to be vulnerable, again.

  I fell in love with Silas the second I laid eyes on him. I wanted Silas, but I was afraid. Terrified to voice my wants and needs. So I fell back on my old habits. I tested him, like I did everyone else, only he didn’t fail like everyone else. I didn’t know it then, but he knew what I was doing and why I was doing it. Silas knew the only way I would accept him, was for him to earn my trust. I would do something particularly bratty, and he would threaten to tan my ass or throw out a number. I ignored him.”

  “You mean dared, don’t you, pup?”

  Kieran grinned mischievously at Paul and told Silas, “You say to tomato I say tomáto.”

  Laughter burst from Paul when Silas called out, “Ten.”

  Kieran kissed him on the cheek. Those two were perfect for each other. Paul wanted that.

  “Anyhoo, one day he stopped threatening, hauled me over his lap, and reddened my ass.” Kieran sighed.

  “That’s pretty much what I did to Cathy. I got so damn tired of hearing her put herself down. I know those were his words, and he is the reason, she sees herself that way. The only way I could think to get her attention was to spank her.”

  Silas sneered. “Five swats does not a
spanking make, my friend.” Silas shook his head and sighed sadly. “Daddy Doms.”.

  “Jealous Sadist.”

  Silas ignored his remark. “You earned her trust today, just as I earned Kieran’s trust by following through. I told him, I would do something, and I did it. He had to experience what I promised as punishment for his bratty behavior wasn’t abusive. I swore, I would never lay a hand on him in anger. I would never physically harm him in a way that would damage him. I would never admit this to anyone else, but I was unsure like you are now. I promised him twenty swats with my hand and I gave it to him. He broke down, as I am sure your mate did, spankings can be very cathartic. I held him, soothed him, but I couldn’t truly enjoy the aftercare. I kept thinking… Did I go too far? Did I frighten him? Did he think I was like that abusive asshole? Looking into Kieran’s eyes after I spanked him, was the hardest thing I ever did. It would have truly killed me if he looked at me with fear or hatred.”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “No, pup, you didn’t.” Silas nuzzled Kieran’s neck.

  Paul leaned forward and asked, “How did he look at you?”

  Silas countered with, “How did your Cathy look at you?”

  “Her eyes were full of hope.”

  Silas smiled. “Yes, exactly.”

  After speaking with Silas and Kieran, Paul was hopeful, as well. He would help his mate heal, and they would find the same happiness as Silas and Kieran, and the rest of Paul’s mated family and friends.

  Chapter 17

  Cathy stared at herself in the vanity mirror. The woman looking back at her, was not the same woman she saw this morning, and she wasn’t referring to her puffy, crying jag, face. Cathy found a piece of herself today. A part of her, she thought lost long ago, and she found it because of Paul. It should have pissed her off, when Paul had her over his knee spanking her ass, like a child. She swore she would never let another man put his hands on her, ever again. He didn’t exactly hurt her, per se. Yes, it stung like a son of a bitch, but he stopped just as quickly as he had started. She felt he was in control the whole time.

  When he flipped her back upright, she was going to lay into him, until she saw his face and the look in his eyes. She didn’t see superiority, hatred, or arrogance, but anger tempered by determination and respect, for her. The words he bestowed upon her shocked her to the core. His honest, sweet words were a balm to her beaten and bloody soul. Never in her life had a man shown her, let alone told her, that he found her attractive.

  She studied her reflection and tried to reconcile his words with her own self-perceptions. She shook her head. She didn’t see it and that made her sad. Cathy remembered the girl before Bud. She had confidence and self-esteem. That girl would have given Paul a run for his money. She would have challenged him at every turn, to make sure he was worthy, of her. Bud had really done a number on her. Cathy thought she was healing and getting back her old self, man she had been wrong. Cathy realized how wrong she’d been when she was straddling Paul’s lap, forced to listen to him. Paul called beautiful, sensual, and survivor, and he meant it. He said she was his fantasy…his fantasy.

  She never thought it possible for her to be any man’s fantasy. His declaration smashed through the walls she erected to keep herself upright and able to function. Broke them into a thousand pieces. Like humpty dumpty; she wouldn’t be able to put them back together again. Crying out those years of pent-up emotions was scary and freeing all at the same time.

  Cathy pulled the brush through her wet locks and smiled. Paul loved her hair. He loved the mixture of colors. That statement swelled her ginger pride just a bit. She giggled. When was the last time she used that expression?

  She held up her fist and whispered “Ginger pride. Well, Cat, what do you say? Time to, maybe, listen to someone that obviously cares about you or are you going to listen to that fucker and every horrible word he hurled at you?” She saw a flicker of that long lost girl in her reflection.

  Paul said he loved her sass, so maybe he would like the old Cathy, in all her glory. It wasn’t as if a good cry was going to miraculously heal her, but it was a start of that healing. She wanted to believe his claims that he cared about her. She wanted to believe that he wouldn’t hurt her. She wanted to believe in this whole mate thing.

  Cathy spent the whole day with Fiona, and her friends Maddie, Shelley, and Amelia; and it didn’t take her long to see how happy they were with their mates. They radiated love and happiness. She gave up on that dream, thinking she wasn’t meant for that kind of life, but now it seemed attainable. Cathy wanted that, more than anything. She could have it if she had the courage to reach out and take it. She didn’t have the courage to take it all, right now, but she could take a step towards it.

  She pulled the make-up from her bag. She hardly wore the stuff, thinking there was no point to it. She only brought it because she was going to a party, albeit a four-year-old’s birthday party. Etiquette dictated she make an effort to look presentable. Cathy decided wasn’t going to wait until Saturday to make the effort. She nodded at her reflection with determination.

  Paul was the hottest, sweetest guy she had ever met and damn, he smelled so good. Her body heated when he was around, her pussy grew wet, and her nipples tightened in arousal, yet another part of her she thought long deceased. She couldn’t give into that attraction, at least not yet, self-preservation dictated caution

  Cathy hated to admit it, but she needed him to prove himself to her, prove he wasn’t going to lead her into hell. She berated herself for thinking badly of the man. He had shown her nothing but kindness and support. She needed to find her true voice, again, before she committed to anything.

  “Well chica, you better get to finding her, because that hot stud wants you. There is no way you are going to be able to resist all that.” She glared at herself in the mirror, stuck out her tongue.

  Her inner vixen rubbed her hands together in anticipation of being let out to play once again, even if it was only in the form of hair, make-up, and her favorite jeans.

  ****

  Paul stood next to the bar, in the family room, and poured himself a drink. Declan and Cade joined him while Luke and Emma Grace watched a movie. He was nervous. It was like he was sixteen again and picking up his prom date. Instead of his mate for a casual dinner, at the steakhouse in Henley. It’s not casual and you know it. It’s make or break time.

  “Where are you taking my mom, Mr. Paul?”

  Paul looked down at Luke, who was laying on a giant floor pillow next to Emma Grace. “A steak house in the next town over.”

  “She’ll like that. She loves steak. Make sure you have her home at a decent hour, Mr. Paul.”

  Paul’s cousins guffawed and snickered next to him. Paul shook his head at Luke. “Why? Why did you have to say that, in front of them? I thought you liked me. They are never going to let me live that down, you know.”

  Luke and Emma Grace fell into a fit of giggles.

  Booted feet clomped down the stairs. The noise reverberated in the hallway and family room. Luke jumped up from where he was laying, on the floor, and stood next to Paul. Cathy entered the room. Damn. She took his breath away.

  “Wow, Mom.” Luke went to her and whispered. “You look beautiful. I think Mr. Paul thinks so, too. He hasn’t blinked.”

  Cathy smiled, kissed the top of his head, and whispered. “You think so?”

  Luke nodded. “Oh, yeah.”

  Paul, sure as hell, thought so. Cathy was dressed in a silky turquoise blouse that hugged her breast oh-so-right. The color brought out the red in her hair and made her violet eyes pop. Her blue jeans fit her like a second skin and the boot cut style made her legs look impossibly long. Sexy as fuck, black, snip-toe cowgirl boots peeked out from under the hem. He couldn’t wait for her to turn around, so he could take in the view from behind.

  Luke glanced back at Paul. He crossed his little arms over his chest and addressed Cathy. “I told him to make sure you were home at a decent hou
r. Jay says, the men in the house have to look out for the women. I’m the man in our house.”

  “Oh, I see. Well, then I’m glad you did your job. I don’t need any slackers, in my house.” Cathy ruffled his hair.

  “Mo-om.” Luke groaned in embarrassment.

  Paul, finally, got his shit together and walked over to greet his mate. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Luke is right. You do look beautiful.”

  She smiled and blushed sweetly. “Thank you,” she murmured. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Sheriff.”

  “You ready to go, kitten?”

  Cathy nodded. She hugged Luke. “Be good.”

  “I will, Mom.”

  Pearson’s was a casual, yet romantic, family owned steak house in Henley, with plenty of seating in the center of the restaurant for large parties. Several tables were tucked away, in little alcoves, for those who wanted privacy with that special someone. Paul requested one such table that overlooked the pond behind the restaurant.

  He laid his hand on the small of Cathy’s back, as they followed the hostess to their table. He fought the urge to growl and bare his teeth at every male, who dared to look at his mate, not that she noticed. His kitten didn’t give a thought to the other men in the room, never considered they would look at her. He didn’t want her flirting with other men. She wouldn’t, she wasn’t built that way. However, he did want her to realize how beautiful she was, both inside and out. That bastard ex of hers had done a number on her self-esteem, beaten her down until it was practically non-existent. Paul planned to rectify that.

  They made small talk while they looked over their menus.

  “You’ve been here before?”

  “I have.”

  “Oh.” She looked around the room, a frown creasing her brow.

  “You don’t have to be jealous, kitten. I have eaten here several times, but you are the first woman I have ever brought here.”

  She sighed and set down her menu. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I reacted that way.”