Christmas Jack-o'-Lantern

by Subhajit Waugh

  The Tantric glanced at Jack’s face, and seeing the wonder in his eyes he explained, “This tree is centuries old. The main trunk has been eaten away by termites. Now it is standing on the secondary ones” He paused, folded his hand and bowed his head down to the banyan tree “Banyan tree is very sacred. People worship it on full moon night” he explained “…and that’s my house” he pointed at the tree house.

  Jack was so amazed at the tree, that he hadn’t paid much attention to the tree house. He took a good look at the house.

  Suddenly it occurred to him that there were no stairs or ladder up to the verandah.

  “Shall we have to climb the tree to reach it?” Jack asked.

  “What?!” the Tantric snapped with an angry outburst “You want to climb the sacred tree with your dirty hands and feet? Are you a monkey or what?!”

  The Tantric counted his fingers slowly, drawing deep breath, and calmed himself. “Of course not!” the Tantric said, “Haven’t you ever heard of Indian rope dance?”

  “No…I mean…er…no…” Jack stammered, fearing that it might offend the Tantric “…that is to say…not till now” Jack said, expecting another angry outburst.

  “Then watch this,” the Tantric said. He took out a cane basket and a flute from the Vimana. He went underneath the house, opened the lid of the basket, placed it on the ground and started playing his flute.

  One end of a rope ladder started rising upwards from the cane basket like a snake, swaying with the tune of the flute.

  Jack and Barbarossa gazed in wonder.

  When it touched the verandah, the Tantric said “Now both of you climb those ladders with your luggage. Have some good rest and some meal if you wish. There are a dozen ripe bananas on the table”. The Tantric said ‘a dozen ripe bananas’ with a suppressed smile while looking at Jack, as if he really considered Jack as a red-faced monkey without its tail.

  “After the evening falls” the Tantric continued “I shall take both of you to the grand feast of the Swayambhara-the ghostly contest. Meanwhile, I’ll do some meditation”.

  After they had arranged their luggage and made themselves comfortable, Jack stood at the verandah and gazed below.

  The Tantric was sitting in a squatting position on a tiger skin. There were two human skulls and one trident placed in erect position in front of him. He had closed his eyes and was lost in deep meditation.

  * * *

  Jack observed that some of the ghosts were young and good-looking, just like normal humans, though they were made of mist and smoke. But some of them looked sinister and frightening. One of them didn’t have a head on his shoulder and had large eyes on his chest, in place of his nipples.

  “They have to complete three impossible tasks” the Tantric explained.

  He took Jack and Barbarossa to the first stage. “They have to utter ‘Rama’ thrice”.

  “Utter Rama, Rama, Rama? What does that mean?” Jack asked “And what’s so impossible about it?”

  “Well Jack, you have already passed the first test, by uttering ‘Rama’ thrice” the tantric laughed “But you know, it isn’t so easy for Indian ghosts! It’s the holy name of a Hindu lord, which ghosts fear most-now watch!”

  A ghost went gliding along, and occupied the center stage. He kept hovering a few inches over the chair.

  The ghost loudly uttered “Rama, Rama, Rama”. The misty body started becoming more transparent. The ghost gave out a blood-chilling wail and disappeared in the air. Vanished out of sight! Gone!

  The Tantric took them to the next makeshift bamboo and canvas stage.

  “This is the next task. They have to touch that iron,” the Tantric said, pointing to a huge iron bar laid on a wooden block.

  “You mean they have to lift that heavy bar?” Jack asked.

  “No; only touch it” the Tantric replied.

  “Is this an impossible task?” Jack asked in disbelief.

  “If nothing of these seems tough to you, Jack…” the Tantric frowned “…why don’t you try to win the contest, and take over the leadership of their powerful clan?”

  “Nonsense!” Jack said, “I am not even allowed to contest”.

  “Who said?” the Tantric snapped, “Anybody who had died once can contest. And as my friend, the Taoist priest confided to me, you had a ‘death and rebirth’ experience”.

  Barbarossa sprang on his feet on hearing this. “Ah, what an opportunity, Jack! Grasp it. Don’t let it pass!”

  “Shut up” Jack snapped.

  Barbarossa replied in a serious tone “I know you won’t care for this, but if you win the contest…of course you will emerge victorious in this ‘Swayambara’…you will become legal heir to this powerful clan”. Then he lowered his tone and said, “do you remember what Baba Yaga advised? Consolidating your position in your own dark world is of paramount importance”.

  Jack frowned at Barbarossa. Then turning towards the Tantric, he asked in a humorous tone “and what’s the third impossible task?”

  “They have to drink fermented liquor brewed with the holy water of the river Ganga” the Tantric replied.

  “Then that’s an impossible task for me too” Jack said in a grave tone “I have been strictly sober now for centuries!”

  The Tantric stared hard at Jack’s determined face and then said “the alcoholic content is very low” his voice was solemn “It is the holy water content which they fear, just like vampires”.

  Jack was extremely reluctant to contest. But Barbarossa was equally determined. And the Tantric, having already been offended by Jack’s sneering about the difficulty level of the tests, and having found out Jack’s weakness about alcohol, was equally adamant to force Jack to contest.

  It was a two versus one situation: one was pulling Jack, the other pushing Jack.

  Finally Jack entered as a late contestant.

  The results were as expected.

  There were three final contestants left, including Jack. A lottery was held. Jack would be the last to try the holy brew.

  The first ghost forced a cup-full of the liquor down his throat, vomited profusely, holding his stomach and writhing in pain, and rolling on the ground.

  The second ghost drank, moaned and fainted, with his eyes bursting out of the socket.

  Jack remained standing on his feet, with his face twitching in disgust.

  With a flourish of trumpets, beating of drums and blowing of conches, thousands of ghosts started encircling Jack. With a shower of flowers they welcomed their new hero. With burning earthen-lamps placed on plates, they moved them round and round vertically around Jack’s face as a symbol of grand welcome.

  Then the chief of the ghost clan came forward, holding the hand of a lady dressed in red Sari. Even her face was fully covered with her Sari. Only her fair, slender hands were visible. She was wearing a bunch of bangles in her hands. She was adorned with heavy golden necklaces and ornaments around her neck, and was decorated with flowers like a bride.

  The chief placed a garland round Jack’s neck. Then addressing the celebrating ghosts, he said, “Jack is my heir. I announce him the next chief of our ghost clan”

  Jack was barely able to suppress his jubilation. He was feeling like a Roman hero, wearing a wreath of laurel around his head, riding a chariot with the conquered enemies chained to his chariot.

  “And besides…” the chief continued, “all other clans of ghosts, who accept our supremacy and pay us homage, shall automatically acknowledge Jack as the new spiritual leader”

  Jack was bursting with joy. He had really succeeded in extending his influence deep in Eastern world as well.

  “But my greatest pleasure….” The chief continued, “…is to announce that Jack has won the hands of my daughter. Jack is so young, barely an adolescent and handsome too-an ideal groom! He will marry my beautiful daughter”.

  Jack was thunderstruck.

  Jack stood motionless; his head spinning with confusion. He stared at the chief with eyes wide open and his m
outh constricting and widening, as if gasping for breath. He looked as if a bullet had pierced through his chest, or he had received a severe hammer-blow on his head.

  “Marry?” Jack stammered, “of course I am not marrying”.

  The chief stared at Jack’s face for a while, and then broke out in laughter. “My son-in-law has a nice sense of humor” he said to the assembled ghosts “he loves joking”

  “But I am not joking” Jack said, “I am dead serious”.

  “Then why did you contest the ‘Swayambhara’?”

  Suddenly everything became clear to Jack. And as the harsh truth dawned upon Jack, he turned to the Tantric angrily and shouted “why didn’t you tell me about the attached strings?”

  “Don’t blame me” the Tantric replied, hiding his cunning smiles “you didn’t ask me. And besides everyone knows what a ‘Swayambhara’ is! You are a fool if you don’t”.

  “But how the hell am I supposed to know?” Jack tried to defend himself “I am not well acquainted with Indian culture”.

  “You didn’t answer me” the chief of the ghosts shouted at Jack “why did you contest the ‘Swayambhara’?”

  “Only to become your heir” Jack spoke guiltily.

  “What?” the chief fumed with anger “only to become the chief, you contested? You greedy swine!”

  By now, hundreds of ghosts were hovering around Jack, encircling him with threatening gestures and displaying angry looks. Some of them were draped in copper chains, which they were clanking and raising blood-chilling cries of anger.

  Jack looked at the ghost bride. Even though her face was fully covered with her Sari, Jack understood that she was weeping. Jack’s heart softened a bit.

  “Let me see her face” Jack pleaded to the chief.

  “What!” the ghost-chief thundered in anger “How dare you?”

  “What’s wrong with that?” Jack protested.

  “What’s wrong?!” the chief burst with anger “You think we can allow you to see her face before the marriage is over? To gaze at her beauty!? She is a virgin, you swine!”

  Barbarossa stepped forward, pulled Jack’s sleeves and whispered “Jack! Jack! For heaven’s sake, be sensible. Just look around you”.

  “Those were not impossible tasks for me” Jack said “what seems impossible to me is the idea of marrying a ‘ghost bride’. And that too, without seeing her face!”

  “Don’t press hard, Jack” Barbarossa blurted “You’ll have lots of occasions to see her face after marriage” Barbarossa added hastily.

  “How can you refuse to marry?” the chief shouted at Jack. The voice was so booming and thunderous that it almost burst Jack’s eardrums, and gave a kick to his heart, almost stopping its beats. “You want to spoil my virgin daughter’s life? As per the rules of the contest, she can never marry again!”

  “Oh, what a gamble I’ll be playing by marrying without even seeing the bride’s face!” Jack said, almost breaking down.

  “Life is a gamble, Jack” Barbarossa said.

  “She is stunningly beautiful” the chief said in an assuring tone. As if by magic, the chief’s anger seemed to have vanished instantly, and he smiled at Jack and winked.

  “Which father will ever confess, that her daughter is not beautiful?” Jack said in a sarcastic tone.

  Jack stood confused and motionless, unable to decide what to do next.

  The smile on the chief’s face started evaporating away. His face stiffened like a rock-solid cliff face. He came closer to Jack and whispered in cold anger “If you don’t marry, I’ll have you draped in chains and bury you ten feet deep under the mud of that rotting pond. I swear!” The vengeance in his tone was impossible to ignore.

  Barbarossa pulled Jack’s sleeves again “Public personalities can barely make personal choices, Jack. And you are a public personality-the spiritual leader of all Halloween creatures” Barbarossa said, “They have to sacrifice their personal life for greater goals, for greater good. Only by self-sacrifice and greater concern for the community, rather than selfish considerations, one really deserves the title of hero”.

  Jack’s head was spinning and he was about to collapse at the rapid development of unexpected events. He held to Barbarossa for support.

  “This is the acid-test Jack. Don’t retract your steps” Barbarossa pleaded, “Go right ahead. Accept the challenge life has thrown on you. Grasp the opportunity”.

  Jack hesitated.

  “You have lost some influence over Western dark creatures to Devil” Barbarossa said, “Lost blood has to be replaced by new blood. Didn’t Baba Yaga advise you similarly? Form this matrimonial alliance with Indian ghosts”.

  Barbarossa’s advice resonated in Jacks’ mind. This advice is like a precious jewel! Jack thought.

  “And even if you don’t care for all my advices, at least consider this” Barbarossa said, “You are the spiritual leader of Halloween. Vampires, and ghouls and werewolves and ghosts…all pay tribute to you like faithful subjects. Then how can you view ‘ghost marriage’ below your dignity?”

  Jack was thunderstruck; he lost all further arguments.

  The Tantric stepped forward “You won’t become an outlaw in your Halloween world by marrying a ‘ghost bride’, Jack. Rather, you will become a proper in-law” he smiled and winked at Jack. “Ghost marriage is practiced round the world-from China to Sudan to France” the Tantric added “and of course here in India!”

  Jack looked at the bride again and gazed at the glass bangles on her fair, slender hands.

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  Chapter 32

  Baba Yaga’s demand

  After completing successful jorneys in China and India, Jack returned triumphantly to meet Baba Yaga.

  “A wedding ring?” Baba Yaga eyed the silver ring on Jack’s finger.

  “Yes!”

  “I have already received the news that your journeys were successful. Congratulations, Jack!” Baba Yaga smiled “if you heed my advice as you did, you have the key to success”.

  “My success in the orient has greatly boosted my position and power” Jack said. He was brimming with gratitude and was rubbing his wedding ring between his thumb and index finger with his other hand. He smiled and said to Baba Yaga “How can I ever thank you?”

  “Do you really want to repay my friendship?” Baba Yaga asked with a cunning smile around her lips “Then give me your wedding ring”.

  “What!!” Jack jerked back his hand and hid his ring instantly with his other palm. He gazed at Baba Yaga’s face with his eyes and mouth wide open.

  Baba Yaga broke into peals of laughter “You fool, I was only joking! What has happened to your sense of humor?”

  Jack recovered almost instantly; his ears had turned red at having over-reacted to a bad tasting, teasing comment.

  Jack cleared his throat and said “But I wasn’t joking. I really wished to thank you properly for opening the doors of a new world of opportunities to me”.

  “You have already pleased me; by making me president of the witches” Baba Yaga said “I shall ask nothing more for myself. But still, if you really insist, then arrange money for Ded Moroz”.

  “Pardon me?” Jack said.

  “Ded Moroz needs money to continue his role as ‘Russian Father Christmas’. Lots of money!” Baba Yaga said, “His coffers have started drying up. He is heading towards a financial crisis”.

  “Is it really necessary for Moroz to compete neck and neck with Santa Claus?” Jack said.

  “Our Russian culture is at stake” Baba Yaga said, “If Ded Moroz doesn’t get instant monetary support, Santa Claus will take over. Invade our holy Russian territory”.

  The initially friendly expressions on Baba Yaga’s face had vanished and she was now looking like a fierce, wizened crone. Her eyes were burning like glowing coal and her voice was toxic.

  “I want you to approach Devil” Baba Yaga said “and arrange money on loan for Ded Moroz”.

  Jack was cursing himself. Why the
hell did I talk to Baba Yaga about repaying my gratitude? He tried to console himself Baba Yaga would have made this demand anyway even if I hadn’t provided her the opportunity.

  “But please” Jack pleaded to Baba Yaga “are you not behaving like Moroz’s enemy rather than a well-wisher? Just consider: he will spiral into Devil’s clutches by borrowing Devil’s money”.

  “To remain in the Christmas arena with Santa, even if Moroz has to sell his soul, I won’t regret” Baba Yaga’s looks were really fear arousing.

  “Both me and Ded Moroz are an integral part of Russian culture” she said harshly “If we start losing ground, than twenty years from now, our names may be forgotten from all households in Russia. Mothers and grandmothers won’t tell stories of us when lulling their children to sleep”.

  * * *

  When Jack left Baba Yaga, he was feeling depressed. Baba Yaga is trying to exploit my goodwill gesture Jack thought. Jack was absolutely disgusted over this unreasonable demand of Baba Yaga.

  “I’ll just return back a few days later, and tell her a lie that Devil has refused” Jack murmured to himself.

  “But no. I can’t. She simply will refuse to believe” Jack contradicted himself the next moment. I simply can’t afford to make my mentor angry at this moment Jack thought.

  Jack placed his hand on his chin and gazed at the carpet silently. I should approach someone else for loan. But then, who else will open his coffer without hesitation for Ded Moroz?

  Jack was submerged in a deep dilemma. The more he thought over it, the less hopeful the situation seemed. Baba Yaga’s guess is right. Only Devil has a personal motive for providing loan to Moroz to achieve his own malicious goals. But what she failed to guess is that Ded Moroz won’t win. Devil will try to counterbalance with Santa Claus somehow.

  Jack got up. I’ll approach Devil for loan. But this is the last time I am yielding to her whimsical demand. I swear this is the last time.

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  Chapter 33

  Devil’s loans

  When Jack arrived, Devil was having some discussions with Beelzebub. Jack waited silently, hoping for a private discussion with Devil.