Christmas Jack-o'-Lantern

by Subhajit Waugh

  “It’s all right Jack” Devil said, smartly guessing Jack’s hesitation; “Beelzebub is my trusted advisor. You can speak in front of him”.

  Jack expressed his request, which Devil refused bluntly.

  “Why should I offer loans to Ded Moroz? What will I gain?” Devil said with a frown “I appointed you to milk the cash rich cows. But isn’t the table turning around Jack?”

  “Do you want Ded Moroz to collapse immediately, and let him go begging to Santa for help?” Jack said defensively, and watched Devil’s reaction. Jack shrugged his shoulder and continued “Anyway, I heard that Santa Claus and his immensely rich cousin Sinterklaas are planning to give economic packages to buy Ded Moroz’s friendship” Jack said, stressing on the word ‘buy’.

  Devil thought silently for a few moments and said “You speak cleverly Jack” and puffed deeply at his supersized black cigar.

  “And who knows…” Jack continued, “…Maybe your little help can improve things rapidly. Ded Moroz is in close touch with gift distributors of Poland and Hungary and Eastern Europe to stabilize his financial position. Risk a little for a huge dividend. Definitely Moroz will repay your loans”.

  Devil laughed and said, “I am not really concerned about recovery of loans. I know excellent ways of recovery. I just want Santa and Moroz to remain at each other’s throats” Devil said playfully, drumming his fingers on the table.

  Devil called the messenger boy and sent for Mr. Ellydar Morgan, his gnome banker of Zurich. In the meantime, Devil continued, “I agree, Jack. But on one condition: a very simple condition. The source of the loans must be kept a secret from Moroz, at least presently”.

  “Is that all you wish?” Jack asked.

  “Yes. That’s all I ask for”.

  As soon as Mr. Morgan arrived, Devil said to Jack “You will introduce this gnome banker to Ded Moroz as a banking agent. I’ll provide further instructions to Mr. Morgan for taking care of the rest”.

  Devil signaled Mr. Morgan to come closer, and then whispered something in his ears. Mr. Morgan moved his long, pointed ears like a dog. He appeared so pleased that it seemed he was wagging his invisible tail.

  Devil winked at Mr. Morgan and said in a whispering tone “make everything seem as natural as possible. Just throw a red herring to keep Ded Moroz off track. Let him sniff somewhere else”.

  Both of them bowed to Devil and were about to leave, when Devil addressed Mr. Morgan once again “I want Ded Moroz’s signatures on the agreement documents with this red ink”, and handed him a small inkwell of Devil’s ink. He winked at Mr. Morgan again and said, “Let me repeat. Throw a herring fish, so that he doesn’t smell something fishy”.

  * * *

  As per Devil’s orders, Jack introduced Mr. Ellydar Morgan as a bank agent to Moroz.

  “Sir, our bank offers very attractive house loans…” Mr. Morgan said, removing his pointy hat and lighting his pipe “………you can also avail personal loans or horse-carriage loans or even shopping loans at very cheap interest”

  “I am sorry” Moroz said, “I am not interested”. Then turning to Jack, irritated Ded Moroz said, “Why did you bring this harassing salesman to bother me?”

  “Sir, I have been working as an agent for five years” Morgan corrected Moroz and persisted “I assure you that you won’t get such attractive loans anywhere”.

  “Look, I am awfully sorry” Ded Moroz replied impatiently, getting up “but I am not at all interested in such petty loans”.

  “We can offer you much bigger loans if you wish Sir” Morgan said.

  “How big?” Ded Moroz asked with a sneer and frowned.

  “Much bigger, Sir! I have contact with some very influential agents at offshore casinos and centuries old Swiss banks, who are interested in much bigger fish” Morgan said.

  “What!? Did I hear fish?” Moroz said with a severe frown “are you planning to hook me?”

  “I am sorry Sir” Mr. Morgan said apologetically “But that’s how we talk in this business. By ‘big fish’ I mean that they are interested in dealing with much bigger clients. And I assure you our transactions are clean. Hooking our client with hook or hooker is against our policy”.

  “Oh I see” Moroz grumbled “but why don’t you just introduce them and let me deal directly?”

  “I am awfully sorry Sir” Morgan said “But you are trying to snatch away my bread and butter-from a poor fellow. As an agent, I’ll be able to make a very small commission if I can make the deal”.

  Ded Moroz remained silent. Jack was sitting silently and looked very serious and remorseful. He felt very uncomfortable, sitting with his lips pressed tightly together, obeying Devil’s instructions.

  “I’ll return back day after tomorrow after contacting them” Mr. Morgan continued “I am sure, they will be able to pull the strings of some of the richest gnome bankers for you. Have a good day, Sir”.

  Both Morgan and Jack rose up from their deep-cushioned seats.

  * * *

  “I have talked to several international financiers and gnomes of Zurich” Mr. Ellydar Morgan said to Ded Moroz, puffing his pipe “two secret, anonymous accounts have already been opened for you in Switzerland and Austria in the name of two bogus, offshore trust companies”.

  He groped his pocket and pulled out two booklets and handed them over to Ded Moroz.

  “Why anonymous, secret accounts?” Ded Moroz asked in surprise “I didn’t express any such desire or requirement”.

  “Well, this provision is not meant for you, really” Mr. Morgan said “but the lenders wish to remain anonymous. This arrangement makes it difficult to trace them”.

  Ded Moroz stared at him with questioning look.

  “You see, many of the financers, mostly from casinos and gambling houses, prefer anonymity” Mr. Ellydar Morgan explained “It makes monitoring cash flow difficult, and consequently money laundering easier”.

  Ded Moroz hesitated, and stared with suspicion. Then he said in a determined tone “tell me truly. How dirty that money is?”

  “I can’t guarantee anything” Mr. Morgan said in a confessional tone “But I personally believe that it is not blood-money or opium money”.

  “I see” Ded Moroz said with an icy tone.

  “You see, it’s a very easy and reasonable condition. You won’t even notice it, once you get used to it” Mr. Ellydar said “And besides, I assure you, you can’t access such attractive loans anywhere else! The interest rate is at least three percent lower than the next best loans you can think of”.

  Ded Moroz nodded his head reluctantly “It’s true; it is really attractive. It’s difficult to let go such a lucrative offer. But still…my conscience is protesting”.

  “You need not feel the pangs of your conscience, Sir” Mr. Morgan puffed out smoke and smiled “this arrangement is only for the opposite party. For you, it’s just the normal way. The bankers have been specifically instructed to release money only on receiving your signature”.

  “What!!” Ded Moroz was absolutely stunned. Then he stamped his ‘Valenki’ boots on the floor and protested “Isn’t it unfair? I shall never find out who the lenders are, whereas they shall have my full identity!”

  “You must understand” Morgan said, “Since these are only numbered accounts, their concerns are valid. Anyone holding these booklets and knowing the codeword can claim to be legal holder and demand rights to withdraw. Now tell me Sir, don’t you think they need peace of mind, and a safe refuge for their wealth?”

  Ded Moroz nodded foolishly. After a while, he objected again “But why can’t they deposit anonymously in my normal account, once they have the full account details?”

  “Look, Dear Moroz. I am merely stating the arrangements. I am not supposed to argue about this matter. Their reasons for this arrangement may be very grave, I mean, adding an extra layer of anonymity. Or maybe, it is just a fancy whim. In either case, it boils down to: Take it, or leave it”.

  Mr. Ellydar Morgan paused and pu
lled out a small purse from his pocket. He unzipped it, took out a large pinch of tobacco and filled the bowl of his pipe.

  “…As I was saying, there are a lot of risks involved for them, to allow transactions without your signature. Since the accounts are not in their name, they are not legal holders. Scams can take place and some fraud person can legitimately withdraw…but excuse me, Sir. Why are you bothered?”

  Ded Moroz stared dumbly at Morgan’s face.

  Mr. Morgan seemed to take note of the foolish expression on his face. “You will lose nothing in such transactions” Mr. Morgan stressed with full confidence “You sign only on receiving money at the counter. Is that okay?”

  Ded Moroz was silent. Mr. Ellydar Morgan smiled and said “I can understand the reason why such money laundering financers and lenders wish to remain anonymous, but regarding your concern….” He looked at Moroz with suspicion, and lowered his voice to a whisper “…do you wish anonymity too? Do you have something dark to hide as well?”

  “Of course not!!” Ded Moroz shot back with hurt pride “I am not like one of them” he blurted forcefully. Ded Moroz adjusted his collar and tried to change the subject quickly “How much money can I draw initially?”

  Mr. Morgan silently pulled out a sack, about the size of one third of a pillow, from his cloak and placed it gently on the table. Then he took out a sharp pocketknife and slashed it with one stroke.

  Several gold coins fell on the table.

  “As a starter, will that do?” Morgan asked.

  “Well yes” Moroz said, “that will do, as a starter”.

  “I’ll need an acknowledgement receipt for that Sir” Mr. Morgan said and handed him a slip.

  Ded Moroz glanced at it and took out the pen from his pocket.

  “No, No Sir, not with that” Mr. Morgan objected. He took out the red inkwell, which Devil had handed over to him and a fountain pen from this pocket “sign with this pen. It’s a gift from our bank for an esteemed client. And always fill your pen with this ink for signing purpose”.

  “What’s special about it?” Ded Moroz asked.

  “It’s a special luciferous ink which glows with a peculiar color under lucifer’s lamp. It is the only ink universally accepted by all secret bankers” Mr. Morgan scratched his white beard and added “it helps reduce signature forgery”.

  Without another word, Ded Moroz signed the acknowledgement receipt and handed over to Mr. Morgan.

  Mr. Morgan tucked it in his pocket and said “You’ll get your 14 letter code word very soon through postal service. And by the way….” He groped in his pocket and drew out a key “…this is an 11 lever, magically encrypted key for you secret Bank vault”.

  “This is really fast and impressive service,” Ded Moroz said, while accepting the key and looking amazed.

  “You expected less from us?” Mr. Morgan said with a hurt feeling “Anyway, thank you for the compliment, Sir. We shall always be glad to provide you the best possible service. Now coming to the agreement part….” He took out a bunch of bond papers, and handed over to Moroz. He continued, “…The money will be released in three phases with pay back periods of five years, ten years and fifteen years. Of course there is provision of installment repayment, if you so desire. Please have a look at the documents”.

  Ded Moroz perused the documents, while Mr. Morgan picked up a magazine. He flipped through the pages of the magazine, but glanced piercingly at Moroz every now and then through the corners of his eyes.

  Jack was sitting quietly, biting his fingernails uneasily.

  Half an hour later, Ded Moroz announced, “the rates of interests are impressively cheap”. He took out the gifted pen and signed the documents with the Devil’s red ink.

  Back to top

  Chapter 34

  Birthday Party

  Jack felt depressed, while Ded Moroz looked jubilant after the signing was over. Mr. Morgan took their leave, and almost rushed out in excitement.

  Jack held the magazine in front of his face and remained seated, pretending to be deeply engrossed in the magazine article.

  But he was hardly reading anything at all! He appeared to be in deep dilemma, with something very heavy on his head, which he was unable to shake off.

  “Day after tomorrow, my granddaughter Snegurochka turns seventeen” Ded Moroz said to Jack in a joyful tone “I invite you cordially to her birthday party”.

  Jack remembered the face of the young lady he met during the trial. His own sister’s face appeared instantly in his mind. Jack felt an electrifying sensation down his spines.

  * * *

  Jack thought of Snegurochka all the time. Seventeen Jack mused my sister was also just turning seventeen… Jack took out his old withered parchment and gazed at it with moist eyes. His twin sister’s face had almost entirely wiped out from the paper, but not from his heart.

  Jack was thinking about Snegurochka when he opened his eyes the next morning. He had a dream last night. He was holding Snegurochka’s hand and performing a round and round dance in the lawn of his ancestral house in Ireland. Jack remained obsessively nostalgic all morning.

  Jack thought about Snegurochka all day. The harder he tried to shake off her close resemblance as mere coincidental, the more bitterly he failed. He thought about Snegurochka when he sat down on his easy chair for evening tea. He remembered how his sister served him tea and hard biscuits as he rested in his old, broken chair. A deep affection used to sparkle in her eyes! How he enjoyed and treasured those moments after toiling all the day in his field or in his forge!

  He thought about Snegurochka while having his dinner, wondering whether she had her dinner yet. He thought of her, finally, when he pulled over his blanket and closed his eyes.

  * * *

  Jack was stunned to see how lavishly money had been spent for arranging the Birthday party.

  We celebrate birthdays as a closed family affair. Only a few guests are invited. Moroz’s words were still ringing in Jack’s ears.

  Jack looked around in amazement. As far as his sights reached, the coniferous forest around Ded Moroz’s palace shone with brilliant decoration in the falling darkness of the evening. Each tree looked like a Christmas tree.

  As Jack entered the vast palace enclosure, he found thousands of folks, mostly Russian, and children in tens of thousands had gathered on the occasion.

  The entire lawn has been transformed into a fairground. Ferris wheel, merry-go-round and so many other amusements were attracting flocks of men and children, elves and gnomes. The gates of the palace had been opened for general public. People of all classes, from peasants to landlords were having a difficult time choosing from so many stalls: from rows of free barbecue stalls to the stalls serving ‘Sherry’ and ‘Madeira’ and ‘Champagne’ wines. Finest quality Burgundy, Chantilly, and Bordeaux wines were flowing like water! Just grab whatever you like, everything is free.

  Several people were dressed in furs of beavers and Arctic foxes, and had decorated themselves with feathers of peacocks and birds of paradise. They were samba dancing and reveling in ‘Mardi-Gras’ style. Most of them were wearing colorful masks.

  A man wearing an eagle-mask was trying to draw Jack’s attention in particular. As soon as Jack’s gaze was fixed on him, he drew out a folded whip from beneath his fur coat, displayed it to Jack and scratched his own neck with its handle. Jack recognized at once that it was the same black and red whip, with which Devil had mercilessly tortured his own favorite horse. And then Devil allowed his henchmen to chain Jack from the pillars and whip him mercilessly, leaving the indelible scars on Jack’s back.

  Jack’s heart stopped beating for few moments, and then thumped rapidly like a hammer on an anvil. The man had disappeared among the large crowd. My God! Devil’s men are here as well, watching my every move Jack panicked with fear He issued me a stark visual warning against opening my mouth to Ded Moroz. Jack was determined to shake off this fear-arousing event from his mind and fully enjoy the moments. But he fel
t invisible eyes were constantly watching him.

  Jack had heard tales of Russian aristocracy, but as he watched the brilliant fireworks lighting the sky incessantly, he felt it was too much. He was awestruck at the variety of exotic foods: from rarest turtle soup and shark fin soups to ostrich egg omelet with oysters and mushrooms, to Japanese puffer-fish ‘fugu’ served as Sashimi.

  One waitress offered an exotic salad of cucumber, and sea cucumber and kelps, sprinkled with pearl-vinegar. But Jack refused and preferred to try one fruit salad as a starter. He found so many exotic fruits in it: Jackfruit bulbs, ‘Longan’, ‘Lychees’, sliced ‘Kiwi fruit’ and others, which tasted juicy and delicious, but Jack couldn’t identify.

  The air around was overhung with smell of strawberries and oriental spices, roasting meats and countless other delicacies; but a particularly strong frying smell helped Jack discover its source. Neither he, nor Barbarossa, nor the accompanying priest could believe their own eyes: A gigantic ‘Atlantic Bluefin Tuna’ fish, around fifteen feet long and weighing at least fifteen hundred pounds was lying on a sheet in a serving stall. Another similar sized tuna had been chopped into pieces and hung from metallic hooks over spicy-aromatic smoke. The chefs were cutting out portions from them, frying them and serving the fried pieces to the eagerly waiting crowd.

  The fairground lawn was a feast to all the senses. The hustle of the crowd, the play of flutes and bagpipers, the loud cries of monkey dancers, flame throwers and stunt performers, the rattling noises from the coin necklaces around the waist of belly dancers and so on were deafening noisy. There was even an iron cage with a ferocious ‘Siberian’ tiger in it and the owner challenging the public with the top of his voice to spend three minutes inside it and win huge prize money. In the entire fairground, it was the only deserted spot, and the fierce tiger seemed the only starving creature.

  Jack had guessed that the spending was going to be beyond proportion, judging from the processions, and street dances and so on in the town of Veliky Ustyug since morning. What Jack feared most was coming true. Moroz is falling right in Devil’s trap! Jack thought and felt terribly upset and guilty.

  They walked towards the Reception Hall of Moroz’s palace through the teeming crowd. Jack felt that someone has thrust his hand deep inside his pocket and ran off. A pickpocket in a birthday party!? Jack was stunned. My God! He must have snatched away my purse containing my sister’s portrait and Snegurochka’s gift. Jack’s heart gave a kick. But he soon found his purse and his pocket-watch still lying safely in his pocket. He found something else: the man had simply tucked a piece of paper in his pocket and run away. Unfolding it, Jack saw a sketch of an eye and an inscription: This will protect you from the evil eyes, but not from Devil’s eyes. Jack felt a chilling and blood curdling sensation.