Hard Sacrifice (Savage Saviors MC Book 4)

by J. C. Allen

  Her voice trailed off as she disappeared. Eve gave a polite roll of her eyes as she looked at me with some curiosity.

  “So, smooth criminal,” she said. “Why are you here?”

  This was honestly off to a much better start than I could ever have hoped for, especially considering how cold and distant she was just two days before. But then again, what had happened was objectively funny, and what was about to be said was anything but.

  “I’m here because, despite what an ass I was, I never stopped wanting you. I just… I just wanted to apologize. I was a grade-A dick. And…well, you didn’t deserve—”

  “Before you say another word,” she cut me off, frowning, “just answer me this. You ran into Chuck, right?”

  I nodded.

  “What’d he say to you?” she finally asked, perhaps fearing what was to come.

  Well, she wasn’t the only one.

  “Before I go into that,” I said. “I came here with the full intent of being honest. I’m just going to spill the truth out in its entirety and whatever happens, happens. It’s not that I haven’t been honest with what I’ve said, but you know I keep some things close to the chest.”

  She nodded as I spoke, revealing that whatever subtlety I’d hoped to have had was not especially successful.

  “Chuck messaged me telling me to come to the old street corner you worked to talk about you. I didn’t know it was him at the time, but I disliked the idea of anyone toying with me about you. I basically left on the spot. Roost and Eagle wouldn’t let me go alone, so they hid while I confronted Chuck. Fortunately, your brother is basically made of twigs, so I could have gone at it alone, but it was at least nice to know that I had the backup if he had weapons. Anyways.”

  OK. The fun stuff.

  “When he got there, he kept trying to tell me you were the so-called victim and that he was the true victim. I wasn’t having it and beat the crap out of him.”

  “Heard those words before,” Eve said.

  “By all accounts, when you got home, I should have just been fuming at Chuck, nothing more. You would have come home to an angry boyfriend, but your presence would have quickly calmed me down and made me feel much better. But then… I was an idiot. He showed me photos. Photos that, in retrospect, were probably doctored and faked. At the very least, they lacked context. But my mind was in such a fucked up place that, in conjunction with my general insecurity… I let it get to me. Chuck got to me. I knocked him out and left, but he had won. He had gotten in my head.”

  I sighed.

  “Eve, you know I love you. I’ve always said that if you chose to go back to being a prostitute, that that would be your choice. And even still, if you truly wanted to do that, I would not stop you. But my honest opinion is I hope to never see you have to go back to that life. I don’t say that to be controlling, but just an acknowledgment of reality. When you worked for Rock, worst time of your life, right?”

  “By far.”

  “Right, exactly. And you have so much more to offer. Your mind is your greatest asset. You got a hell of a body that can make me do some crazy things and think some wild things—”

  Eve’s eyes arched at this.

  “But your mind is what attracts me to you. Your intellect was the first thing I noticed when I passed you by that first day to the bar. Your smarts, they surpass anything I could ever do. Me so dumb next to you.”

  Eve chortled at that. I wanted to hug her and kiss her for how cute she looked, but I fought to restrain myself until she took me into her arms. It wouldn’t feel right for me to initiate such a movement.

  “So, I’m sorry.”

  I let the words hang for as long as I could. Whatever Eve decided from here, she’d make the right choice. It was up to me to live with them.

  A serious look came on her face, but it lacked the coldness from the previous couple of days. Instead, it looked more like a compassionate seriousness—like the kind a parent would have on a kid struggling with drugs. We’re going to buckle down, but we’re going to get through this.

  “You hurt me a lot that night, Derek, and there’s still a part of me that is in disbelief that you would choose to believe Chuck over me,” she said.

  I nodded in full agreement—only a Black Falcon would disagree with that, and let’s just say we had a strong difference of opinion.

  “But unfortunately, as much as I hate that scumbag, he has a way with words and manipulating people that borders on unfair. I saw him a couple of days ago when I went shopping—err, perhaps it’s more accurate to say he sought me out—and I had to leave not just because of how disgusting he is, but because of how he made me feel like the victim. It didn’t make any sense, but emotions sometimes don’t make a lot of sense.”

  She sighed.

  “It’s been the story our entire life together. Chuck, the older brother, the evil older brother, making life mercilessly cruel for me. I really think it all stems from a sad sense of jealousy. Jealousy that my parents paid attention to me more as a kid, jealousy that I had a more stable life, jealousy that I did better in school… he was supposed to be the torch bearer for the Kellerman family, and instead, he’s kind of the black sheep.”

  “Should I be feeling sympathy?”

  I had started the question intending to be sarcastic, but thinking that may not have been the best tone, I lightened my words at the end.

  “No,” Eve said. “Maybe when we were kids. But he sold me to the Black Falcons. That is unforgivable. That is something I could never forget.”

  She sighed.

  “What you said to me, Derek, is something I can’t forget either.”

  Fuck… for—

  “But.”

  Wait.

  “Unlike Chuck, I can forgive you,” she said. “Just don’t be a dick again like that.”

  “Oh thank God,” I said, letting my shoulders drop with relief.

  It was over. Our relationship rockiness had ended. I…

  It sure seemed like I was getting a second chance.

  “Man… remember all that awful stuff I said about your brother the first time you told me about him?”

  “Yeah,” Eve said, smirking at where I was going with this.

  “I feel I was too tame with my choice of words,” he said. “Speaking of full honesty… I’m not sure there’s anyone I hate more. I would have hated Rock more, but we took care of him. If Chuck is smart, he’ll get the hell out of town.”

  I didn’t bother to say, “Because if he doesn’t, I’ll kill him,” just because this moment was a tad too tender for me to pull something off like that.

  “Yeah, I think I’m ready to agree with you wholeheartedly there,” she said.

  I again breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Eve. I’m sorry for even beginning to fall for his tricks. Are you sure that you can ever forgive me?”

  “I already have,” Eve said with a laugh as she turned away.

  And then I realized why she was turning away.

  Tears were beginning to fall down her cheeks. She wanted this as much as I did when I walked in here. She just…

  She had to be strong.

  “I’m sorry I made you cry,” I said, moving my hands to her face, gently wiping the tears away. “I swear that I will never be such an asshole again. I swear I will never call you what I did that day. I swear I will trust you and believe you, most especially above Chuck’s word. Eve… I love you. I love you so much, Eve.”

  “I love you too.”

  I leaned down, slowly capturing her lips in mine in a gentle kiss. She wrapped her arms around me.

  The last few days had felt first like the worst kind of hell, the kind that Dante would have written about and then refused to reread for fear of falling into it. I had somehow escaped that, only to wind up in a purgatory that might have been worse in some ways. At least in hell, I knew how to feel, even if that feeling was nothing but sheer misery and agony.

  But now, with Eve back… it all felt, well, not w
orth it. My mistake had caused all of this, so I’m not really sure I could say it was worth it. But it had been an invaluable lesson to me about how I had had to grow up, stop drinking, and take control of my emotions.

  My problem had never been dangerous driving, excessive drinking, or irrational anger. It had simply been letting outside forces dictate my behavior—I had never listened to myself or to what I valued, words that Maggie herself had told me about long ago.

  And now, Eve’s presence had given me a much needed reminder on this, and I could never express my gratitude enough to not just have a second chance with her, but with bettering myself as a man.

  I slowly pulled away and looked down at her, my face serious as he moved his hands to my shoulders. “Eve, will you—”

  “Aww shit, yer ain’t gettin’ away with this, Falcon turds!”

  Welp, here came my actual punishment.

  “Hold on,” I said, raising my arms so Roost wouldn’t suddenly shoot me when I appeared. I stepped outside to see the grizzly bear charging toward the front door, perhaps ten feet away. “Wait, wait!”

  “The fuck, Derek?” Roost said, more confused than angry now. “Where the scum at that knockin’ down my door?!?”

  “It’s…”

  I let the silence hang. Roost looked at me for a long time, waiting for me to spill the beans on which asshole had had the temerity to tear down his door in search of some girls.

  But no, there was no retaliation necessary against any rival clubs, no incoming battle, nothing of that sort.

  “Wait,” he said, perching his head back. “Yer the one who knockin’ around my shit?”

  I bit my lip and nodded.

  “Boy you better—”

  “Matty.”

  Oh thank heavens, Eve.

  “He thought I was in danger. I screamed inside and so he came knocking in to help. It was a sweet gesture, I promise it was nothing malicious.”

  Roost growled, looked to Eve and I, and then muttered multiple expletives under his breath.

  “Yer a damn lucky son of a bitch I like her,” Roost said. “And by the looks of it, ya at least did what I told ya to do, so I’mma be nice and let ya go. But ya owe me a new door ya prick.”

  “I know, I know, I’m sorry, Roost, whatever kind of door you want, I—”

  “Bah, business tomorrow,” he said, brushing by me, making sure to give me a playful but hard bump with his shoulder. “In the meantime, ya take care of yer personal matters.”

  I breathed a massive sigh of relief, not sure which would have hurt more, an attack by Roost or a metal bat from Tara.

  I turned to Eve, who waited expectedly.

  “OK, Eve, no more wasting time. Can I take you home?”

  The smile on her face told me the answer long before her actual words did.

  “You absolutely may, Derek.”

  8

  Eve

  I couldn’t be sure which one was angrier at Derek for the breaking-and-entering act, Tara or Matty.

  But, as Derek pulled away from Matty’s bright-pink house, where Tara had decided to make her permanent residence—and, to her credit, had given me a home during our fight—I realized that they could bond over fighting.

  That house is going to be saying “fag” and “whore” more than an evangelist convent in Las Vegas.

  The thought had me laughing into Derek’s back as he started to drive me home. As I laughed, though, many, many, many other thoughts crossed my mind as we rode on the bike.

  Though I had found his reaction hilarious when he’d come barreling inside—and, let’s be honest, I was scared shitless that Chuck or someone else had come to kidnap, rape, or kill me—the other part of me was touched at how much concern he had for my wellbeing. He had been ready to kill at the sound of my scream and he had done a lot of damage to Matty’s door. Regardless of the cost, both financially and to his well-being, he had come barreling in.

  That, more than anything he had said, had demonstrated the sincerity of his apology and what he felt about me. If actions spoke louder than words, then what he had said a few nights ago was barely a whisper.

  A whisper I would need some time to forget—despite my words, it would fade with time—but a whisper fading more rapidly with every passing act by Derek.

  I smiled warmly, squeezing his waist even harder and relishing in just how loved and protected he made me feel. His free hand moved to mine, squeezing back. It made me slightly nervous until I remembered we weren’t moving that fast, having gotten stuck behind a little late-night traffic.

  “What’s on your mind?” he said, turning his head slightly so I could hear him better.

  “Just… getting lost in the moment.”

  It’s perfect. It’s the perfect moment after an imperfect few days. It’s perfect how this moment, despite being just a moment, can make up for those days so quickly.

  “Same here,” he said, his voice filled with a bit of awe.

  The rest of the ride was mostly quiet aside from a few smaller comments on how nice the night was. The silence that the remainder of the ride had hadn’t bothered me at all. I still marveled at just how comfortable I was with Derek.

  It sure said a lot that we could have moved from Matty’s to Derek’s in the span of about a dozen minutes, saying perhaps no more than a combined two dozen words, and yet it felt like we were perfectly in sync despite having not had any significant communication for a couple of days.

  As we made our way to the apartment, Derek moved to his parking spot, pushing out the kickstand and helping me down. I thanked him as he led me towards the condo, holding my hand as we entered. This, too, felt natural. Nothing about this felt quick; nothing about this felt like I needed to step back and reevaluate anything.

  It just… was.

  Well, for me it is. What about… what about for Derek?

  “So what are your thoughts on all this?” I finally asked.

  “On all what?” Derek said, looking over at me.

  Those eye…

  I hadn’t really given much specific thought to the questions. But now that I had, well…

  “On my brother, the Black Falcons, us… everything, I guess,” I answered, feeling the heat in my cheeks intensify as my answer expanded on itself. “I know it’s a loaded question, but—”

  “I like loaded questions,” he smirked. “Gives me time to cover quite a bit.”

  The elevator doors opened and we stepped in together. Derek let go of my hand, but it allowed him to get more connected and in step with my questions.

  “I think your brother’s a lousy fuck,” Derek said. “Goes without saying, really. I think the Falcons need to be handled, but I’m not sure how just yet. And for us…”

  He paused, taking a long, deep breath and noticeably relaxing as he did. I smiled with anticipation.

  “No other way to put it. I think you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

  I blushed at that, smiling and moving to lean against his shoulder. I loved that there wasn’t even any tension between us, there was nothing about the fact that we had just fought. It was just natural for us to come closer together.

  “But there is one order of business I’m not sure you’re going to like,” Derek said. “You said you saw your brother—or he sought you out, better put?”

  “Yeah, at the mall.”

  “So people are watching you then, Chuck likely doesn’t have tracking on your phone,” Derek said as the elevator doors opened to his apartment. “You’re safest here. I don’t think you should go outside for the time being.”

  I cringed at that, the words biting deep when said aloud, but, after what Tara and I had already discussed and the reality of my encounter with Chuck, I couldn’t bring myself to argue. Not if I didn’t want Derek to have to go on yet another daring rescue mission, not if I wanted us to be stable and healthy and together.

  Plus, no chance of him wondering why you’re leaving his place if you can’t ever lea
ve his place. So that’s a plus.

  “Yeah,” I sighed, “Tara and I were sort of thinking the same thing. I don’t see any other way as long as Chuck’s around, at least.”

  “It’s just for the time being,” he quickly added. “Until, yeah, the situation’s smoothed over. Not just Chuck, but the Falcons. Not that we have to totally eradicate them, but just at least have them under control.”

  An uncontrolled smile started to form as he went to one of the windows, taking in the view of the city from his perch. It was like he was seeing the future, and he liked it.

  Just as I did.

  “Then… well, then I was thinking we could take a trip somewhere.”

  “Somewhere?”

  Like… Italy? Like the place in that photo you showed me?

  “Wherever you want to go,” he said.

  I already had the place in mind, and while I didn’t say it then and there, I thought that maybe Derek already knew. He didn’t need me to elaborate, most especially when that very place was in a photo frame somewhere in this apartment.

  Seeming to read my thoughts, he smiled, nodded, and kissed the top of my head.

  “So, I asked Roost to try and see what he could find on Chuck,” Derek said. “He’s usually pretty quick with intel, probably be even quicker this time around. I’ll go see him tomorrow and see if they’ve found anything yet. With any luck we can be through this before the end of the week.”

  “Do you think his sources will be of any help?” I asked, sitting down at the dining room table. “And what are you planning on doing?

  “Haven’t let me down yet,” he answered with a shrug. “But nothing’s an exact science with this sort of thing. As far as what we’re going to do with him… well, in all honesty, I’d have him dead.”

  Suppose I should have seen that coming. And suppose it would be best.

  Then why does it sit so wrongly with me?

  “If you prefer, we can just put him somewhere far, far away from here where he’ll never bother you.”