Faithless: A Salvation Society Novel

by Megan Green

  Two pizzas and a game of Candyland later, I announce that it’s time for me to go.

  “Noooo!” Ellie shouts, wrapping herself around my legs and pulling me down with all her thirty pounds.

  I laugh as I stumble, struggling to remain on my feet. “I’m sure your daddy wants to spend some time with you girls alone before you go to bed.”

  “He sees us every day,” Gracie says, her lower lip pouting out as she gives me the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. “Do you have to go?”

  “Kate’s right, girls,” Shane says from his place across the table. “It’s getting close to bedtime. Time for both aunties to get going.”

  I’m not sure why, but hearing him refer to me as the girls’ aunt and not just Kate sends a zing of warmth through my chest. Ever since the statement he made when dinner arrived, things have been slightly less…tense between us. Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t think Shane Dempsey is going to be applying to be the president of the Kate Mitchell fan club. But I think he might hate me the tiniest bit less than he did when I first arrived.

  “Will you come back?” Gracie’s eyes flash to mine in a panic, as if it’s just now occurring to her that she might not ever see me again.

  “Oh, well… if your dad says—”

  “Can she come to my dance recital next week, Daddy?” Gracie pleads, her hands clasped in front of her as she falls to her knees.

  Shane’s lips twist as he looks down at his dramatic daughter—dare I say there’s a hint of a smile there?—before his gaze lifts to mine. “Well, I guess that’s up to your aunt Kate.”

  Again with that zing.

  “I’m supposed to be back in Chicago next week,” I say.

  Gracie’s face falls, her arms going limp at her sides as my answer hits her. “You’re leaving already? Forever?”

  My heart aches when I see the hurt in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Gracie sweetie. But I’ve got to get back to work.”

  “But we just got you!” she says, tears welling in her eyes.

  “I know. I don’t want to go, but—”

  “Then stay!” she says, popping up to her feet and rushing to me, her arms wrapping around my waist.

  With Gracie at my waist and Ellie around my legs, I do the only thing I can.

  “You know, I do have some time off saved up. I guess I could stay a little longer.”

  “Yay!” both girls shout, dropping their hold on me and clinging to each other as they jump around the living room.

  “But for now I really do need to get going,” I add, putting a damper on their celebration. “Don’t worry though. I’ll be back.”

  I give them both a hug goodbye before embracing Aarabelle.

  “Thank you for doing this,” I whisper in her ear. “I wouldn’t be here if not for you.”

  She squeezes my arm. “And that would’ve been a damn shame.”

  “Daddy, Auntie Aara said a naughty word!” Gracie shouts.

  Aara lets me go, spinning around and chasing after Gracie. “You little tattle!”

  Gracie races from the room, her giggles echoing all the way down the hall, Ellie following closely in their wake.

  Leaving me alone with Shane.

  Again.

  He nods toward the door. “Let me walk you out.”

  I gulp but nod, suddenly nervous as to what he’s going to say once we’re out of earshot of his family.

  Had I been delusional thinking things had gotten slightly better between us? Was he going to tell me to get lost? Tell me I could never see the girls again?

  Guess there’s only one way to find out.

  Like a prisoner destined for the guillotine, I trudge after Shane Dempsey, stepping through the door when he holds it open for me.

  He tucks his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as we head toward my rental car. I’m glad I had the foresight to meet Aarabelle here instead of having her pick me up. At least she won’t be present to hear whatever is about to go down.

  “You sure you’re okay to stay in town longer?” he asks, shocking the hell out of me. “I don’t want you to get in trouble with work on account of the girls.”

  Of all the things I expected him to say, concern about my job had been at the very bottom of the list. Okay, maybe not the very bottom. Declaring his undying love for me and whisking me off into the sunset on a golden steed held that position.

  But still. I definitely had not been expecting this.

  I nod, my brow furrowing as I try to deduce what his angle is. “Yeah. I haven’t taken a vacation in… well, ever. I have a bunch of banked vacation days. Plus, my boss loves me, and the hotel has free Wi-Fi. I can work a little in the evenings to keep up with my commitments.”

  “I feel weird asking this, but what exactly do you do?”

  Felicity had never told him?

  Jesus. She really had hated me, hadn’t she?

  “I’m a journalist. I work for a local paper in Chicago. The Windy Weekly.”

  Shane shrugs. “Can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

  A small chuckle escapes my lips. “No, I wouldn’t think a man from Virginia would know about the Double Dub. But it’s a pretty big deal in Chi-Town.”

  “I’m sure it is,” Shane says, that hint of a smile tugging on his lips again. “I guess that explains a lot about you and Felicity, too.”

  “How do you mean?” I ask, knowing exactly what he means, but wanting to hear him say it.

  “Lissy always did want to be a journalist. Before we had the girls, she’d spend hours at night researching and writing, submitting to any publication that she could, hoping to finally get her big break. Meanwhile, you’re over there in Chicago, living her dream.”

  I wince at the words. “I never wanted to take anything from Felicity.”

  Shane nods. “I’m starting to get that. I mean, nobody who hated her as much as she claims you did could talk about her like you did in there. It seemed like you really loved her.”

  “Love,” I correct. “I never stopped loving my sister.”

  Shane regards me for a moment, and this time, I think I see a flash of… something in his dark eyes.

  Sympathy? Kindness? Warmth?

  I don’t know, because it’s gone as soon as it appears. But the slight smile remains.

  “Verdict is in,” he says, laughing lightly when he sees the confusion on my face. “I told you earlier the jury was still out on whether or not you being different from what I expected was a good or a bad thing.”

  “Oh, right.” I blow out a breath. “And? How did they find me?”

  “Guilty,” he says, and my chest deflates.

  Shane chuckles at my defeat before continuing. “Guilty of being a kickass aunt.”

  My words catch in my throat, my head cocking to the side as it takes a moment for me to register his words. “I… what… did you just make a joke?”

  He shrugs and gives me a sheepish smile. “Apparently not a very good one.”

  “Not a good one at all. I’m disappointed in you, Shane Dempsey.”

  “Guess I’ll just have to try harder next time. See you soon, Kate,” he says, rapping his knuckles against the roof of my rental car and turning to walk back into his house.

  What in the hell had just happened?

  Chapter Seven

  Shane

  “Gracie Belle, if you’re not ready in five seconds, we’re leaving without you!” I call up the stairs, glancing at the watch on my wrist for the hundredth time. As a former Navy SEAL, the importance of punctuality has been drilled into me for as long as I can remember. Even now, years after my injury and discharge, I still hate being late.

  Yes, because I’m sure your enthusiasm to get to the aquarium has nothing to do with a certain brunette meeting you there, and everything to do with being on time.

  I shove the thought away, not wanting to go there again right now. Not when I was only minutes away from having to face her again.

  After Kate had left last night, I’d gone back insi
de and helped Aara get the girls to bed. Once that was done and Aara had taken off, I’d done something I hadn’t thought I’d be ready to do for a long time.

  I’d gone into the attic and pulled down the box of Felicity’s old scrapbooks.

  At only twenty-one, I’d been two weeks out from leaving for BUD/S the night I’d run into her at that club all those years ago. But all it had taken was one look at her, and I knew my life was forever changed.

  We’d spent every free moment of those two weeks together. And after I’d left, she’d written to me nearly every day during my year-long training. I’d gotten to know her through those letters. Gotten to see a side of Lissy that I knew many didn’t get to see.

  The real Felicity Mitchell.

  Not the woman who’d always cared a little too much about what other people thought of her. Not the woman who was forever trying to measure up to her own impossible standards. Not the woman who never quite felt good enough, despite the reassurances to the contrary from those around her.

  In those letters, Lissy put it all out there. She told me about her childhood. About the pressure her parents had always put on her to be perfect. And about how her little sister had always done everything she could to make sure Lissy stayed firmly in second place.

  My heart had broken for her as I read every word back then. I completely understood her need for acceptance, her desire to be loved and appreciated for who she was. I told her over and over again how grateful I was that she got out from under her sister’s shadow, because she truly shined when she let herself.

  But after having met Kate and forming my own opinion of her?

  Well, I just couldn’t correlate the Kate Mitchell who’d sat on my sofa last night and been so sweet with my girls with the same woman from those letters.

  Felicity had refused to talk about Kate once I’d returned from BUD/S and SQT . It was like these letters had given her an outlet, but once it was all out there, she wanted to pretend like it didn’t exist. I told her I understood. I mean, if Aara had treated me the way Kate had supposedly treated Lissy, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to talk about her either.

  But what if she hadn’t wanted to talk about it because it had all been a load of bullshit? Had she just not wanted to get caught in a lie? The thought had left a bitter taste in my mouth, betrayal of my late wife burning like coal deep within my gut.

  Still, I’d spent the rest of the night reading through every single one of those letters. And just as before, sympathy flooded through me at everything Felicity had endured.

  Until I got to one.

  In one of the first letters Lissy had written me, she’d told me about the day Kate had gotten her acceptance letter to Northwestern. How it had been the catalyst to the demise of their relationship, because Kate had applied solely to make Felicity angry.

  She hadn’t even wanted to go to Northwestern until I told her I was applying, the letter had read.

  She had only wanted to prove to me that once again, given the choice between me and her, they would choose her.

  And choose her they had. Kate had been accepted into Northwestern’s top tier journalism program, while Felicity had stayed behind at UVA. Don’t get me wrong—it was still a great school. But it hadn’t been Felicity’s dream.

  But as I flipped to a letter nearing the end of my training and my eyes scanned the page, one paragraph, in particular, jumped out at me.

  It just hurt that she went without me, you know? That had been our dream since we were little kids. We were going to graduate, go to Northwestern together, become the best investigative journalists the world had ever seen, and buy matching mansions on the same street. How could she just leave me behind?

  It had been their dream to go to school together since they were kids? But earlier, she’d told me that Kate had never even wanted to go to Northwestern until Felicity told her she was applying.

  It was a minor detail. But if she’d lied about that… who knew what else she’d made up in order to earn my sympathy?

  It was then I decided I’d give Kate a fair shot. She seemed to truly want to get to know Gracie and Ellie. And maybe Felicity hadn’t been as innocent in their fallout as she’d made herself out to be. Besides, it had been over ten years. Surely Kate had grown out of any childish behaviors.

  Gracie comes barreling down the stairs, pulling me out of my thoughts when she launches herself at me as she reaches the fourth stair from the bottom. I catch her with an oomph, swinging her into my arms and up onto my hip.

  “You’re almost too big for that, Gracie Lou Who,” I say, smacking a kiss on her cheek before lowering her to the floor. “Soon you’re gonna knock your poor old dad on his as—bum.”

  She grins up at me. “You almost said a naughty word!”

  “Nuh-uh,” I protest. “I was going to say my assuredly cute bum.”

  Both girls dissolve into a fit of giggles at my assessment of my behind. “Daddy,” Gracie chides. “Bums aren’t cute.”

  “I beg to differ,” I say, shaking my head. “Do I need to pull out the photo albums and show you just how cute your little bum was when you were a baby?”

  She swats at me. “No! No naked baby pictures!”

  I laugh, taking both their hands in mine and heading toward the door. “Okay, fine,” I say, putting a tone of dejection in my voice. “Guess we need to get going anyway.”

  Gracie halts, pulling me up short before I can drop her hand to open the front door. I turn and look at her.

  “Maybe after we get back, we can look at pictures. Okay, Daddy?”

  “I wanna see Mommy,” Ellie voices from my other side.

  “Me, too,” Gracie agrees. Emotion wells in my throat, and I bend to kiss them both on the head.

  “Me, too,” I echo. “What do you say we curl up on the couch with Mommy’s favorite blanket and look through all the photo albums tonight? Does that sound good?”

  They both nod, and we resume our trek out the front door and to my truck. I buckle Ellie into her car seat and Gracie into her booster before hustling around to the driver’s side.

  “I wonder if Auntie Kate has any pictures of Mommy when she was little,” Gracie chatters from the back seat.

  It strikes me then that I’ve never really seen any pictures of Felicity when she was a girl. There were a few school pictures that her parents had placed around the house. But no candid shots. No birthday parties, no sleepovers.

  Because Kate would have been in them.

  I wonder if Debbie and Kurt still had any of the old photos of the two of them together stashed in storage somewhere. Or maybe Kate had taken them with her when she left. Hell, knowing Debbie and Kurt and their animosity toward their youngest daughter, they’d probably had a bonfire and burnt all traces of her presence from their lives as soon as she was gone.

  “We can ask her and see, okay, kiddo?”

  I see her nod in the rearview mirror before she leans over to look at the tablet Ellie brought with her.

  The drive to the aquarium passes quickly, the girls playing quietly in the back seat the whole way. Every so often I glance back to check on them, happiness spreading through me each time I find their heads bent together, their voices hushed as they whisper to one another.

  They can bring down the house when they have one of their knockdown drag-out fights. But there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain of.

  My girls are thick as thieves.

  It makes me proud to know Lissy and I raised them to not only be nice to each other, but to actually be friends as well.

  Had Felicity and Kate had the same sort of relationship when they were little?

  I know that Kate was only fourteen months younger than Felicity, and she’d told me they’d practically grown up as twins. They had to have had a special bond in order for that to be true, right? Or had Felicity made all that up as well?

  Maybe they’d never been close. Maybe everything I thought I knew about my wife’s childhood was a fallacy. With Felicity gon
e, there was only one way to find out.

  You should probably save that conversation for someplace a little less public, I think. I’d chosen the aquarium because of its hustle and bustle. I figured it was as good a place as any for the girls’ first public outing with their newfound aunt, and despite how I’d felt after her visit, I still wasn’t entirely sure I could trust Kate Mitchell. I didn’t want my girls falling too hard for their aunt before I was certain she wasn’t going to break their hearts.

  When we arrive at the aquarium, I circle the parking lot a few times, trying to find a spot that won’t be too hard to get out of later when it’s time to leave. After backing into a stall near the exit, I climb out of the driver’s seat and help the girls from the car.

  They link arms, Gracie trying to get Ellie to sync her steps with hers as we walk toward the door.

  Kate is standing just inside the entrance, and she smiles warmly when she sees us. She’s dressed in jeans and a fitted t-shirt today, her long brown locks left free and loose down her back. She gives the girls a tiny wave, and they break away from me, tearing across the foyer and wrapping her in a hug.

  Kate’s delighted laughter rings out as she crouches down to catch them in each arm. I should be more concerned about the fact that my daughters just threw themselves into the arms of a practical stranger, but the joy on all three of their faces is contagious, and I just can’t bring myself to care.

  She’s family, I tell myself, as if that’s a good enough reason to allow it.

  After the girls let her go, Kate stands, moving over to me and smiling shyly. “How are you today, Shane?” she asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

  Her eyes stay focused on the floor, as if she’s nervous and doesn’t know how to act around me. Her bashfulness would be cute as hell, if not for the tiny little detail of her being my late wife’s sister.

  I clear my throat, shoving away the thought before I can think too much about it. “I’m good. How are you?”

  She nods. “Good. Did you guys have a nice morning?”

  “Yeah!” Gracie shouts. “Daddy made pancakes for breakfast and let me have extra strawberries and whipped cream. It was so yummy.”