Overdone (The Loss of Reason) (Zelda's World Book 2)

by Paloma Meir

  “Stop that I have so much money. Until I went to Paris I hardly ever touched it. I went a little crazy there as you know... I am going to take you shopping. I could add it to my list, a gigolo experience. We could kiss in the dressing room, another check mark on my list. Please Serge let’s go. It’ll be fun. I’m very well known in the store. The level of service I receive... You’ll like it too.”

  “You don’t have a terminal illness do you? This list of yours is getting weird. You didn’t actually write all this down?"

  “I’m making this particular list as I go along. I’ve come to realize that I’m a serial monogamist. I want to have fun before I meet my destiny and spend the rest of my life with... In so many books that I’ve read the characters have regrets at the end of their lives. I don’t want to be like that.” I paused to collect my thoughts, “For whatever reason I’m incredibly privileged. It would be a sin not to enjoy that. So I’m going to take you shopping,"

  “Okay weirdo. I’ll be your gigolo. Although I believe the fantasy is full sex in the dressing room. You up for that?” He kissed the tip of my nose.

  “I’m never going to have sex with you.” I said as lightly as possible not wanting to hurt his feelings whatever those feelings may have been.

  “I know. Heads up most “privileged” people give back. You might want to add that to your “list”.” He put our half eaten lunch back into the basket.

  “You told me not to talk about my plans. If you must know that’s a big part of marriage plan. I won’t say anymore.” I folded the blanket into a neat square.

  …

  At Barney’s we were waited on hand and foot. Serge being Serge he found the whole experience silly. I managed to get him three suits, five shirts, a pair of shoes and a large selection of ties and colorful socks before he called an end to my excessiveness. He looked so handsome in spite of covering up his wiry, athletic body. I had grown used to his mailman-style shorts and washed out t-shirts. Good-bye to his boyishness I thought with a touch of sadness.

  In the dressing room as planned he kissed me. I had a moment of clarity realizing how absurd our little trysts had become. Serge had always been such a logical person. Fantasy games were so not him. He had always nodded his head in an annoyed way when Carolina and I had played them as children. Knowing it would end in a few weeks I let his kiss push my thoughts away.

  “Some friends from school are getting together next week to celebrate passing the bar. I want you to go with me.” He said as we sat stretched out on the long sofa while waiting for the bill. I rested my head on his shoulder.

  “Are you asking me out on a date?” I looked up at him with a smile I was unsuccessfully trying to hold back.

  “Yes Zelda will you go on a “date” with me?” He put his arm around my shoulders pulling me close for a kiss. Swoon.

  “As long as it’s mid-day I would love to.”

  “Dinner party at night. I’ll pick you up at eight.” He released me as the shop assistant came to us and placed the bill on the small table in front of me.

  “I’m sorry Serge. That’s my time with Louisa.”

  “What time does she go to sleep?”

  “Around eight.”

  “Then it shouldn’t be a problem. You have Astrid.”

  I didn’t know why I was reluctant to go out with him at night but it seemed like a bad idea. Louisa didn’t wake up at night very often and Astrid was like her second mother since at this point she didn’t have a father. I didn’t have a logical reason to say no. I could wear one of my pretty dresses. My mom style clothing was a bore.

  “Okay but I don’t want to make a habit of it. I got my craving for nightlife out of my system already.”

  “It’s dinner not a club crawl. Next Thursday.” He tweaked my nose making me laugh.

  I paid disappointed the total wasn’t more. He drove me home and kissed me in his car in front of my house for a good long time before I went inside to my Louisa.

  I changed the date of when I was to tell Danny from Valentine’s Day to Serge’s first day of work as I walked through my front door.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Serge came in with an armful of garment and shopping bags showing the familiar Barney’s logo. I knew he couldn’t afford one bag of clothes from that store let alone the half dozen he carried with him. She was ruining my buddy. My laid back friend would turn into the materialistic monster that she was. There was nothing I could do about it so I went back to chopping the garlic for the pasta I was making for dinner with Sarah.

  He walked into the kitchen looking like he wanted to say something I didn’t want to hear.

  “Sarah’s going to be here in about an hour. I’m making linguine alla checca. You up for dinner with us?”

  “Sure sounds good. I have to talk to you.”

  “Unless it’s about you rinsing the lettuce I’m not interested.”

  “I invited Zelda to the dinner next week.”

  “She’s still texting me, every two or three days now. She’s unstable. You should get away from her.” I chopped faster keeping my anger on an even beat.

  “Dude I watched you go through the same thing a few months ago. Why don’t you just call her and let her say whatever she wants to say. Let her down easy if that’s what you really want.”

  “Not going to happen. Doesn’t it bother you? Her obsessing on me?”

  “We don’t talk about you. She’s with Louisa most of the day. She’s not hiding in the bushes out front. We have a unique relationship.”

  “That’s what I thought, I’m sure that’s what Paolo thought, it’s probably what her waiter thought too. She’s selfish, borderline evil. We don’t need to talk about her anymore. It’s a big restaurant. Sit as far away from me as possible and don’t make a habit of bringing her around.” The knife sliced the side of my finger, a drop of blood spilled onto the cutting board. I rinsed my finger under the cold water and took a new cutting board, fresh garlic and began the process over again.

  “What waiter? Where’s the lettuce? I’ll rinse it.” He opened the refrigerator and took out the romaine to wash.

  “She fucked some waiter in Barcelona a few years ago because he reminded her of me. That’s the kind of person you’re dealing with.” I shook my head and chose my next words carefully, “Easy virtue, you know?” Betraying her confidences felt good after feeling dead or angry for so long.

  “Three men in her twenty-eight years? Fucking Whore of Babylon. The waiter story is hot."

  A knock at the door, Serge went to let Sarah in.

  …

  The restaurant, Le Grand Boeuf was around the corner from Sarah’s condo on Third St. The night was warm for February so we decided to walk. She talked about, well I don’t know what she talked about. I was in a quiet mood nodding my head where it seemed appropriate. She looked very pretty in a long black lace dress and low heels. That was all I noticed.

  We were one of the first to arrive. We hadn’t eaten there before. I had imagined a lot of little tables close together but the tables were long picnic benches with cushions thrown everywhere for comfort. The restaurant had an outdoor feel with the dark room illuminated by fairy lights.

  If I weren’t so restless I would have described it as romantic. I seated Sarah and myself at the far end of one of the tables to give Serge plenty of room to be away from us. I grew angry with him as we sat waiting for the others to arrive. The night would be bad. I should have told him not to bring her. Maturity wasn’t my thing anymore.

  Our table filled up as our friends arrived, all of them pumped up to drink and celebrate. They talked around me as I did my smile and nod. Sarah was deep in conversation with Serge’s friend Blake about malpractice liability. I looked around the packed table and door and didn't see them. I relaxed a little thinking that Serge had figured out what a bad idea bringing her to dinner was for us.

  I ordered red wine for the group and paid attention to the conversation, interacted even. The large vintage clo
ck on the wall read 8:30. They weren’t coming. I looked at the menu hungry for a steak, so many options. I was deciding between a sirloin and the Kobe beef stew when Sarah tapped me on the shoulder.

  “Isn’t that your friend from the hospital? Is she dating Serge now? They’re beautiful together. Let’s go and say hello to them.” She rose from the bench. I put my hand on her arm bringing her back to the table.

  “Maybe later.”

  I glanced over at the two of them. There she stood in all her trashy glory. Her hair piled on her head, her make-up heavier than I remembered her ever wearing it before. Her eyes made up to accentuate the dreamy doe quality in purples and black.

  Serge helped her out of the heavy black priest style coat she was wearing. The dress, if you could call it that, because it barely covered her ass was covered in black silky leaves and when she moved they flew around her revealing her skin through the sheerness of the fabric underneath. Sky-high shiny black heels, she stood a good two inches taller than Serge with her long bare white legs. Unbelievable. She had no boundaries.

  The restaurant was loud, but I knew them both so well that I could read their body language. He was teasing her about the insanely inappropriate dress she was wearing. She laughed luring him in to her web of sickness. She looked my way with bright eyes and a big smile on her face, waved and sat down next to Serge focusing her attention on him. That’s how she was going to play it, fine.

  I took a deep breath recounting my thought process for the previous few minutes. I reminded myself all that had really happened was that she was wearing a short black dress like half the women in the restaurant and had waved a greeting. It was not an act of war.

  My phone vibrated. I looked down at it.

  I miss you

  I had an urge to throw the phone at her head. Why didn’t it bother him that she was engaged in this endless pursuit?

  I looked back over to her. Serge was holding her arm up and winding it as if she were a doll. He pulled the clip out of her hair causing it to fall down around shoulders. She laughed and stuck her tongue out at him while running her fingers through the hair she had once liked to sweep over my body.

  I took another deep breath. Reality check. They had always been playful with each other. He treated her like a little sister well before I was even friends with either of them. I couldn’t get my head together. Was I jealous?

  “Could you stop staring at them? You’re making me uncomfortable.”

  “Too much time in the water today. I zoned out. What are you going to order?”

  I took one last look at them before adjusting my position so I wouldn’t be stuck with them in front of me all night. They didn’t touch each other much. If I were sitting with her she would have been draped all over me, playing with me, staring at me with that dazed expression that she would sometimes get. They were engaged with each other and our friends sitting around them. It was a healthier relationship.

  I was strong. I could power through the dinner. It was a celebration not a funeral. I did it. I took control of the conversation in our little section talking about what I was doing, other projects, asking questions of the others, being attentive to Sarah. I drank glass after glass of the red wine. I heartily ate my steak. I forgot they were across the room.

  The dinner came to an end. People moved around speaking to friends they had missed by the seating arrangement. Some friends came over to say good-bye and settle the bill. Sarah got up to the go use the bathroom. I was making plans with Blake to come over the following weekend to surf with Serge and me when I felt a hand on my shoulder and then lips on my ear.

  “Finish up with the fairy girl. We’re wasting time.” I turned to look at her. The happiness in her eyes tore into me. I would wipe that smile off her face. I grabbed her arm, stood up and walked her outside the restaurant.

  “You know what happens when you touch me? When you whisper in my ear?” I released her arm as we stood on the sidewalk.

  Her eyes were so bright and alive as if this was the moment she was waiting for. I had a big surprise coming up for her. I shut her down before she could speak.

  “It makes me want to fuck you. Break you in two with my cock.”

  The brightness in her eyes took a hit, murky for a moment and then brightening again. She had no idea where I was going with this. I had the power now.

  “I’ve missed you so much but please don’t speak that way.” Her right hand twisted one of the leaves on her dress. Twitch away baby.

  “Oh I forgot you only like “pretty words”. I’m sorry “princess”.”

  She flinched. This was easy. I knew exactly what would hurt her most.

  “Don’t you get it? You’re nothing to me. You’re a fuck bag of orifices I could pick and choose where to stick parts of myself.”

  The brightness in her eyes dimmed. It made me feel like a big man to see her pride fall. All that preening and assuming the world loved her as much as she loved herself. I was on fire. I would kill her with my words.

  “You’ve been really mad at me because I went away but I’m home now. I came home for you. You don’t mean this. You love me.” She took a step towards me, extending her arms.

  I wanted to see her break down in her usual river of tears. So far they hadn’t fallen. She would be in a heap on the curb before I was through with her.

  “What’s there to love? You are a shell of a person. You’re a sex toy. Nobody could ever love you.” I was getting a little too loud. The other people on the sidewalk glanced our way.

  “A sex toy?”

  “That’s it. Now you’re getting it. The most pathetic part about you is the fact that I could take you into the alley right now and still fuck you, even after everything I’ve just said. That’s who you are.”

  She wasn’t going to cry. Her eyes were dead and her mouth hung open. I would declare it a partial victory.

  Serge walked out of the restaurant and onto the street with Zelda’s coat in his hands looking for her. The sight of him pulled me back into reality. I had gone too far. She was shell-shocked her hands trembled. What had I done to her?

  “There you are. You two have a good talk?” He put the coat around her shoulders. Zelda stared at me with a dead look in her eyes. We didn’t respond to him.

  “Okay... See you at home Danny?” He turned her around, and they walked towards the valet stand. She looked over her shoulder at me her eyes still flat, her mouth still partially open. Her hand moved up, and she waved good-bye to me.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Danny’s ugly words rattled though my head numbing me. I couldn’t process his hate. It was too much. I knew what I had to do but I couldn’t do it until the next day. Everything hurt. He had never loved me. I was a fool. I wished Paolo had been there to see me get exactly what I deserved.

  We pulled up in front of my house. I knew I would fall apart if I told Serge. The only way to get through it would be to act as if nothing happened. I could do this, especially having him with me. He could never truly love me because I was unlovable, but he cared for me as a friend and always had.

  “I don’t want it to go to your head but you were sexy tonight. Will you wear that on all of our “dates”?” He asked as he looked over to me and adjusted the vents on the car heater so the warm air would flow over me.

  “Thank you,” was all I could get out. I looked away knowing I would have to be stronger.

  “You seem down. Danny didn’t say anything weird to you did he?” He leaned back into his seat and turned to face me.

  “Just catching up.” I stared out at my house through the car window.

  He took my face in his hands and looked at me. I forced a smile.

  “You know what you need? You need to be kissed right now. We’re going to sit in this car making out until the sun comes up.”

  “It’s warmer in my bedroom. Will you come inside with me?” He would be my last one, my last time.

  “Is that what you want?’ He released me and sat back
in his seat staring out the front window onto the road in front of us.

  “I wouldn’t have asked you in otherwise.” I knew I should have forced a laugh or another smile to appear as me but it was too hard.

  “That changes the rules of our game.” He put his hand on mine, his eyes still on the road.

  “Be quiet and take me upstairs.” I placed my hand on his cheek turning his face towards mine and kissed him gently on the lips.

  He came around to my side of the car, opened the door, took my hand and led me up the path to my house, through the living room, quietly up the stairs and in to my bedroom. I closed my eyes taking in the moments before they evaporated forever into the past.

  I pulled the dress over my head, tossing it onto the floor and slipped out of my underwear as he closed the door to my bedroom. I had been braless as all good sex toys should be. I hoped he wasn’t too tired. I wanted to go out in a blaze of glory.