by Bill Evans
“Here, let me have that,” Dr. Pricener scolded as he ripped the coat from Gregor’s grasp.
“What would possess you to wear my lab coat, Gregor? This is a serious offense of hospital protocol, and a personal affront to me. Do you know what kind of trouble you can get into by impersonating a doctor? Why I have half a mind to…”
The irate Dr. Pricener caught himself before finishing the sentence. He quickly took a few deep breaths to compose himself. If this infraction had been done by anyone other than Gregor, there would have been hell to pay.
Gregor looked like a small child whom had been scolded by a parent or teacher. His lower lip jutted out and quivered. Was he going to cry?
“Now…now, don’t be upset Gregor,” the doctor said in a calmer and more sympathetic voice. “There was no harm done.”
“You don’t like me anymore, do you Dr. Pricener?”
Dr. Pricener was horrified by the remark. Had he squandered all of the work done in the past three months to gain Gregor’s confidence and friendship? Was the carefully formed bond broken? Dr. Pricener had to do some serious damage control-and quickly.
“Gregor, listen. I whole-heartedly apologize. I’ve been under enormous strain lately. However, my harsh words to you are inexcusable. I beg you to forgive me. I promise it will not happen again.”
“It’s okay,” Gregor responded in a pouting voice. “It’s just that I was using my imagination. I like to play ‘make believe’. I probably shouldn’t have…”
“Nonsense,” Dr. Pricener interrupted. “Don’t apologize Gregor. I assume full responsibility for this unfortunate exchange. I feel horribly. Rest assured it won’t happen again.”
“No, it’s fine doctor,” Gregor replied while still whimpering.
Dr. Pricener was feeling panicked now. Had he lost Gregor’s trust? He felt compelled to say more to rectify the problem.
“Furthermore, Gregor,” the doctor continued. “You may have unfettered access to my office at your leisure. If you feel so inclined to “play doctor”, you may come in and do so at any time.”
Dr. Pricener had made an enormous concession to placate his star patient.
This made Gregor very happy.
Gregor smiled.
Dr. Pricener ‘just got played’ once again.
GREEN MAN MUST PAY
(part twenty seven)
Gregor sat smugly in his hard backed oaken chair. He had won another victory, and was feeling good about himself. Things were going well, and according to plan. Of course when things start going this well, it was cause for alarm. Gregor knew this to be true. It was a ‘natural order of things’ kind of thing. It was a yin and yang kind of thing. Bad always follows good. Good always follows bad. What bad thing was imminent? Gregor tingled with excitement thinking about it.
“Gregor-so we’re good. Right? We are still buddies aren’t we? I hope I didn’t ruffle any feathers. Your friendship is important to me.”
Dr. Pricener was concerned that he had ruined everything with his recent outburst at Gregor. In reality, the doctor had nothing to worry about. Gregor decided to keep the doctor on edge nonetheless. It would be easier to control him that way.
“Dr. Pricener, we must move forward,” Gregor said with a brave face. “Shall we continue with the interview?”
_____
The interview proceeded for the next 30 minutes or so. It was uneventful and not remarkable-at least as far as Gregor was concerned.
Dr. Pricener’s notes probably differed from that assessment.
-bond may have been irretrievably broken
-may have to allow more liberties to regain trust
-mistrust of authority since childhood causes G to retreat into delusion
-other personalities then manifest as a protective measure
-will the true “G” ever be made accessible for study?
_____
“That concludes our interview for now Gregor. I have asked many questions. Before you leave, may I inquire as to if you have any questions of me?”
Gregor looked coyly at the doctor. Of course, he had questions. Many, many questions.
“No, doctor. There’s not a thing I can think of,” Gregor decided to answer.
“Excellent,” Dr. Pricener exclaimed, with a degree of self-satisfaction.
Gregor smiled warmly and rose from his chair. As he exited to leave, the doctor cleared his throat loudly. It stopped Gregor in his tracks.
“Oh, yeah. One final question.”
Gregor looked puzzled, but said nothing.
“Did you answer all of my questions truthfully?”
Gregor turned slowly to look at Dr. Pricener.
“Truth is a relevant term, doctor. If you are asking, ‘did I answer what you needed to hear?’, then my answer is a resounding ‘yes’.”
Gregor then pivoted, and strode from the room without making another sound.
_____
Dr. Pricener quickly rolled up his notes, and hurriedly raced from his office in an effort to catch up to Gregor. The doctor walked briskly down the hallway, and noticed that Gregor had already reached the entrance to his room. Gregor didn’t enter the room, but curiously held the door open. Gregor then made a sweeping arm gesture as if he were ushering in another person. But there was no person. Was Gregor using his imagination again?
Dr. Pricener paused, and waited to see what would happen next. Nothing. Gregor just stood there by the door, waiting and smiling. Dr. Pricener saw was that a very large black fly had flown into the room. It was as if Gregor had actually intentionally allowed the horsefly to enter his premises. Of course, that notion was preposterous.
Dr. Pricener promised himself a long vacation, after completing his experiment with Gregor.
A long, long vacation.
GREEN MAN MUST PAY
(part twenty eight)
Dr. Pricener knocked twice in rapid succession, and then impatiently entered the patient room before Gregor could properly respond. With his rolled up notes tucked firmly under his arm, the doctor strode the length of the room until reaching the far wall. He then pivoted a full 180 degrees and gazed wide-eyed at the calm figure that stood quietly across the room. Dr. Pricener looked at Gregor with glaring incredulity.
“What the hell did you mean?”
“Come again, doctor?” Gregor feigned a similar expression of incredulity, mirroring that of his irate inquisitor.
“No more games damn it. Gregor, I have been kind to you. Every need has been satisfied. Every wish-granted. Every whim-fulfilled. And this is how you treat me? With deception? With dishonesty? Now I want to know truthfully. What the hell did you mean when you said you answered the questions in such a fashion that you wanted to placate me?”
Gregor smiled weakly and extended his arms outward in an attempt to calm the enraged doctor. He then exhaled softly and took a shallow breath. He felt defensive.
“Doctor, I assure you that my words to you were true and relevant. Any perceived deception on your part may be due to a faulty premise regarding your induction process, thus leading to a false deductive conclusion. As memory serves, I believe my final words regarding my dialogue with you was that I had “answered what you needed to hear”. Surely it follows that…”
“Enough,” Dr. Pricener shouted.
“But I just wanted to clarify with definitional acuity, any linguistic utterances that may have been misconstrued,” Gregor whimpered with pleading eyes.
“Euphemisms. Semantics. Bullshit! It’s all I ever receive from you Gregor.”
The highly agitated and emotional Dr. Pricener then turned and raced toward the overhead mirror on the far wall near the bed. With a sardonic scowl, the doctor raised the rolled notes shoulder level and struck the mirror surface.
The stunned Gregor was confused.
“Why did
you just do that? Why did you…” the words froze in Gregor’s mouth.
“Why…” Gregor muttered again, this time weakly and this time to himself.
“Because I’m sick of that damn bug flying around,” the annoyed Dr. Pricener snapped.
As Dr. Pricener pulled his rolled notepad from the mirror, Gregor’s biggest nightmare had been realized. There he was-his friend. Splattered on the mirror. Relegated to a gelatinous heap of gushy black bug guts.
Gregor wanted to scream, but his lungs were filling up fast with an acrid stomach fluid. The nauseous and overwhelmed Gregor turned in the direction of the stunned unbelieving doctor. With a gurgling roar, a vile green stream of pressurized projectile vomit spewed forth like a geyser from Gregor’s mouth. The slimy toxic waste coated the doctor’s face and shoulders, as he stood there frozen by what he was witnessing.
Gregor tried to rise from the floor, but could not garner the strength to do so. He slumped to the ground and curled into a fetal position.
He began screaming hysterically.
GREEN MAN MUST PAY
(part twenty nine)
Dr. Pricener reviewed his most recent notes regarding the last ‘encounter’ with Gregor.
-interesting and unanticipated reaction regarding my innocuous swatting of a fly
-immediate hysteria ensued as if a very close family member or friend had just died
-within seconds, patient recovered as if nothing had happened
-patient appears capable of turning off emotions on command
-is this a defensive mechanism, or something more psychologically deep rooted?
-has my bond with Gregor been irrevocably broken?
-was I wrong to assume that a bond ever existed?
_____
Why did anyone who had ever been close to Gregor always have to die? Every family member and every friend-gone! They died horrifically. They died violently. This was not fair to Gregor. What did he ever do to deserve this fate? He was a good boy. He always helped others and was kind to everyone. He was a good boy. Everybody knew that.
Using the back of a notebook, Gregor carefully scraped the guts of his bludgeoned friend from the overhead mirror. He meticulously scooped the remains-or most of them anyhow, into a soft pink napkin. Gregor paused and smiled warmly. His friend would have appreciated Gregor’s taste regarding this makeshift paper coffin. Gregor always seemed to have a stylistic sense of style.
After carefully placing the napkin centrally into his cupped hands, Gregor marched slowly and solemnly toward the bathroom. This formal funeral procession was done with class and elegance. Wait! Gregor had forgotten to play some music during the march. It was too late now. Gregor thought it silly to start over.
Gregor would not forget to say a few words before the burial. It would be important.
Looking down lovingly at his deformed and lifeless friend, Gregor began to speak. A wave of emotion however had suddenly overcome him. This made Gregor smile. He loved it when he experienced feelings like sadness. This is what separated him from most of the others.
Gregor cleared his throat to begin again.
“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here…” No, wait. Those were the wrong words.
Gregor cleared his mind. Gregor wasn’t very good at this funeral speaking kind of thing. Who was? He didn’t blame himself. He was sure his friend would not have blamed him either.
“It’s not like he’s in a position to complain,” Gregor chortled softly.
Gregor had just made a joke. It was important to always have a sense of humor. Even in dire times like this. Gregor liked that about himself.
Gregor was finally ready to get on with the speech. He would honor his friend. His friend named…what was his name?
Gregor had never given him a name. Well, of course that made sense. Subliminally Gregor had intentionally done this. Yes, that must have been it. Why name someone that you know will probably soon die? Green Man always killed everyone associated with Gregor. Keeping friends nameless helped insulate Gregor from feeling more pain. Yes-that had to be the reason why his friend had been nameless.
Why did Green Man always kill those who were close to Gregor? Yet wait! Wasn’t this different? Green Man did not kill Gregor’s friend. Dr. Pricener was the perpetrator. This time Green Man’s hands did not do the act.
Unless.
Of course! Why hadn’t Gregor seen this earlier? Dr. Pricener was a conspirator. The manipulative Green Man had somehow gotten to him. The cunning Green Man did strike. Dr. Pricener was ordered to kill the fly. Logically it was now all coming together. It was so very clear.
Gregor could not control his smile. He was so proud of himself. He was so good at solving riddles. If Gregor had chosen detective work as a career path, he most certainly would have been one of the best.
GREEN MAN MUST PAY
(part thirty)
Gregor felt conflicted. On the one hand, he was depressed. After all, his best friend had died a horrifically violent and undeserved death at the hands of Dr. Pricener. This was an unpardonable travesty unto itself. Where was the justice? Where was the sanity?
On the other hand, he felt a sense of relief. With the fly now deceased, Gregor didn’t have to worry anymore about his friend’s safety and well-being. His fly friend was now with the others. He was safe.
Gregor looked down lovingly at the splattered body of the tiny bug, lying so peacefully in his cupped hands. “You poor little son of a…” Gregor stopped himself from cursing. He was a good boy. Bad words would never come from his mouth if he could help it.
“You poor, poor baby”, Gregor restated with eloquent modification. “You never hurt anyone. You were a good friend. We went through much together. You were valiant in life, and you died a hero. You will be buried with the due respect that is your right and privilege.”
Gregor then slowly and ceremoniously bent over the commode and deftly dropped the body wrapped in the pink napkin, into the toilet bowl. Gregor said a quick prayer then flushed. The little pink napkin swirled clockwise repeatedly. Gregor stood at strict attention while saluting. With a final gurgling sound, the little pink coffin disappeared.
The friend had finally been laid to rest in his watery grave. Gregor paused to absorb what had just happened. The whole ceremony had been so beautiful…and so fitting for such a fine friend.
Gregor collapsed and began to sob. It was all so sad. It was so unfair. Why did bad things always happen to him? Why did everyone whom had ever gotten close to him have to die? This was so unfair.
Gregor knew he had to be strong. It was his destiny. It was his cross to bear. He had to endure life’s inequalities, and persevere through it all. He did not ask for any of this. Then again, others destined for greatness faced the same dilemma.
Things could have been worse Gregor reasoned. Gregor relied on his positive attitude and logical approach when dealing with problematic issues that life threw in his way. The attitude he had now was no different.
“At least I wasn’t squashed like a bug, and laying in the bowels of the metro sewer system,” Gregor said aloud, but to himself.
A passing orderly walked by Gregor’s room and peered in through a crack in the door. He saw Gregor rolling on the floor, cackling in uncontrolled laughter.
GREEN MAN MUST PAY
(part thirty one)
“Yes, Dr. Pricener. You summoned me? The orderly said to report to your office at once.”
Dr. Pricener looked up from the mound of paperwork cluttering his desk. Although looking directly at Gregor, the doctor seemed lost in thought. It was as if the doctor was trying to figure out what to say to Gregor. Why was he so distracted?
Of course, Gregor knew the answer to that question. It was clear that Green Man had assumed control over the doctor. Dr. Pricener now had to follow the directive of the heinous serial killer, for fear of bei
ng killed himself. Gregor knew this. He actually felt empathy for the doctor, who was placed in an awkwardly dangerous situation. Gregor reminded himself that from now on- any words spoken by Dr. Pricener would actually be the words of Green Man himself. Gregor wouldn’t let on. He’d play along. Really, what choice was there?
“Gregor, please make yourself comfortable. I’ll be with you in a moment. I have a few questions.”
Gregor moved to the oaken chair opposite the doctor’s desk and began to sit. He then sprang from the chair and moved slowly over to the hook behind the front door. The very busy doctor didn’t seem to notice. And there it was, much to Gregor’s delight. The brightly starched white lab coat, hanging in splendor, on the hook. Gregor quietly removed the coat and slipped it on. It was stunning. How fortunate it was for Gregor that he and the doctor were the same size. Gregor looked so authentic in the doctor’s garb.
_____
“Do you think I could borrow this coat for a little costume party I’m throwing tomorrow night?”
Gregor posed the question innocently enough.
Dr. Pricener looked up and was aghast. His blood pressure rose immediately, and he was about to shout in anger, when he caught himself. He reminded himself to stay composed when around Gregor. If the relationship were to be salvaged between the two, he would need to be calm. He took a deep breath and smiled.
“I’m sure something can be worked out Gregor. Now then, I have a few questions. May we get started?”
Gregor smiled at the doctor while removing the lab coat. He quickly returned the garment back on the proper hook fastened to the office door. He impishly scampered over to his chair and sat down. Gregor sensed the hostility in the doctor’s tone. Gregor wasn’t stupid. He knew the angry doctor was under Green Man’s control. It was just so blatantly obvious.