A Child Changes Everything

by Stella MacLean

  “Thank you for the roses. They’re lovely,” she said, pulling her chair closer to her desk.

  “Roses seemed appropriate, given your accomplishment. Congratulations, by the way.”

  “Thank you.” She placed her hands firmly on the desk and locked her eyes on them. “What did you need to see me about?”

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch for the past few days.”

  “That’s completely understandable, given the circumstances. You don’t have to apologize.”

  Lisa had the ability to seem calm and cool regardless of how she felt inside. Today of all days, he wished she’d let her real feelings show so they could both deal with them. “I think I do. This wasn’t how I wanted this conversation to go.”

  “Meaning what?” She shifted her gaze to him.

  That gaze held agony, embarassment and remorse in equal measure, and he was responsible for all of it. For a few moments he could think of nothing to say that would change what he saw in her eyes. Feeling set adrift by the emotions of the past few days and the distance forming between him and the woman he loved, he managed to dredge up the words, “Meaning, what you saw in there wasn’t what it looked like.”

  HOW SHE HATED being a cliché. The woman who misunderstood a man’s intentions and assumed—incorrectly—that he was interested in her. There was no explanation that would make what she’d seen any different than what it was.

  “Mason, as you’ve said before, we’re friends. As a friend, I’m relieved that Peter’s all right. As a friend, I’m happy you have the life you want, whatever that is.”

  Her heart battering her chest, she clasped her hands tighter and waited for him to leave. She couldn’t let herself cry in front of him, and somehow she had to get through her first day.

  “Lisa, Peter’s illness has changed everything between Sara and me. We’ve talked a lot these past few days about what’s best for him. We’ve finally come to a decision—”

  She put her hands up to stop his next words, words that would confirm her fears. “This isn’t the time or place to discuss your personal life. I realize that’s a little harsh, but I have to get back to work.”

  She needed to get him out of her office before the tears gathering in her eyes fell over her cheeks. All her dreams had died when she’d opened that door, and she couldn’t stand the thought of learning the details of Mason’s new life without her.

  It was natural to conclude that Peter’s illness would bring Mason and Sara together again and that now they’d move out west as a family. That was all Lisa could bear to know.

  “I’m sorry. Don’t give up on me,” he said, exhaustion evident in his words. But he wasn’t the only one who was exhausted. She was tired of all the effort it took to work out their relationship, to discover a way for them to get back together. Yet all along she’d known he’d never leave his son. She’d wasted so much time and effort on a man who had told her from the beginning what his first priority would always be. When she didn’t respond, he turned and walked away.

  LISA MANAGED TO GET through the rest of her shift. That night she slept fitfully, dreaming that Mason and Sara were in her house, their lips moving, but she couldn’t hear a word they said.

  When she went into work the next morning, her head ached so much she wanted to go back home. She couldn’t. She had an important meeting with nursing management over staff changes.

  When she got to her office, there was a note that Sara Campbell had asked to speak with her. She rubbed her arms to ward off the apprehension. She wanted to see the woman about as much as she wanted to meet a snake. She could ignore the message, but she had to admit to a certain amount of curiosity about the woman Mason had married.

  Grudgingly, she went down to Peter’s room, this time opening the door quickly. If she had to witness Sara and Mason in an embrace again, she’d be better prepared.

  But all she saw was Sara holding a sleeping Peter in her lap while an older woman looked on, obviously Peter’s grandmother.

  “Good morning. I’m Lisa Clarke. You wanted to speak to me?” she asked, pleased that her voice sounded authoritative, yet friendly.

  “Hi, Lisa. This is my mom, Madeline.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” she said politely.

  “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time. That day Mason introduced us in the grocery store was rather awkward. He often speaks of you,” Sara said, her expression open.

  What could she say? After yesterday, Lisa had no reason to concern herself with who or what they talked about.

  “I’m glad Peter’s doing well enough that you can take him home today.”

  “Yes, you just caught us. We were almost ready to leave,” Sara said, giving her mother a quick smile as she passed Peter to her.

  Madeline eased the child onto her shoulder, one hand on his back, holding him protectively. “I’m going to take Peter down to the car. Your dad is waiting for us,” Madeline reminded Sara, adjusting Peter against her shoulder.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’ll be along in a few minutes.” The other woman nodded and walked out of the room.

  “He’s a great little boy,” Lisa said, meaning every word. “When do you leave for L.A.?”

  “On Friday. I can’t believe it. I’ve waited all my life for this opportunity, and I’m not going to pass it up, regardless of what people think. This is my big chance,” she said, the smile on her face triumphant.

  How could the woman be so excited about a change that could take Peter away from his father? Melanie had remarked on how concerned Sara had been about Peter when he was sick, and now all Sara could talk about was her career.

  “What did you want to see me about?” Lisa asked.

  Sara smoothed her auburn hair as she gazed out the window. Turning back, her hands on her hips, she began.

  “Lisa, you and I aren’t friends, and it may not be my place to say this…” She shrugged. “Or my business.”

  Then don’t. She didn’t want to hear any more, but any good excuse for walking out seemed to have abandoned her.

  “I think you should stop being so stubborn. Mason said he tried to explain that you misunderstood what you saw yesterday, but you refused to listen.”

  What was there to misunderstand? She hadn’t heard from Mason in days and then she walked in on their intimate moment. She was tired of feeling left out when it came to Mason, his life and his family. Now this woman had the gall to think that she was in a position to offer advice to Lisa. Obviously Mason and Sara had talked about her, and the thought made Lisa angry. What right did either of them have to meddle in her affairs? They had their lives all neatly worked out, and that made them an authority on hers? Not likely.

  “That’s none of your business,” Lisa said, anger snapping through her.

  Sara frowned. “Have you spoken to Mason since yesterday?”

  “No, I haven’t,” she admitted.

  “You should,” she said, plucking her sunglasses out of her hair and planting them on her nose. She picked up her purse and left the room.

  RELIEVED TO BE HOME, Lisa showered and started dinner, letting the familiar routine soothe her anxiety.

  “How’s Peter doing?” her mother asked, wheeling her chair around the kitchen with a dexterity that had been absent a few days ago.

  “He was released this morning.”

  “Oh, that’s good. Why don’t you look happy?” she asked, a concerned expression on her face.

  “I met his mother, Sara. As far as I know, she’s taking Peter to L.A. with her as soon as the doctor gives the okay.”

  “And how does Mason feel about that?”

  “I’m not exactly sure,” she hedged, not wanting to go into the details. “The last time I spoke to him about it, he was very upset.”

  “And now you know he’ll have to follow them.”

  Hearing her fear put into words unnerved Lisa. What she’d seen in the hospital confirmed that Mason was leaving with Sara, yet a part of her couldn’t believe
it. How could Mason let her think he wanted more of a relationship with her if he was going away?

  “I honestly don’t know if he’ll go or not. Mason made it clear that he didn’t need my help or advice.”

  And now she understood why. As Peter’s illness had shown, in a crisis Mason turned to Sara. Those stressful days must have convinced him that, for Peter’s sake as well as his own, he should move with Sara.

  “Oh, honey, that’s awful! You two don’t seem to be able to connect. Anybody with eyes can see that you care for each other.”

  “I think you’re misreading this situation, Mom,” Lisa said.

  “Sit down here for a moment.” She patted the chair next to her at the table. “What can I do?”

  “Unless you can create miracles or cast spells…nothing.” Lisa sank down into the chair.

  “Did he say anything to you in the hospital?”

  If she could erase the few minutes she’d spent with Mason yesterday, she would. She’d never felt worse in her life than when he’d walked into her office, wanting to discuss his plans.

  “Mason was there to be with his son, not to talk to me,” Lisa responded a little too sharply.

  “Okay,” her mother said soothingly. “I want you to listen. Years ago, your father and I had a fight. It didn’t start out big, just one of those disagreements all couples have about how to discipline a child—in this case, Anne Marie.”

  Lisa’s adoptive parents had never argued in front of her, but she’d learned very early in life that the sound of crying behind her parents’ bedroom door meant trouble. “What did you do? Were you unhappy?”

  “At the time, but every marriage has those moments when both the husband and wife wonder what ever made them believe the relationship could work. And like everyone else, I got out my list of grievances I’d been harboring for months. How your father didn’t listen to me. How he left Anne Marie’s care to me, and now he was questioning what I did.”

  Her mother’s expression turned sad. “But most of all, I was afraid that given our financial circum stances, your father was upset that I was pregnant again. We didn’t have the money for a second child, and the best I could hope for was an entry-level job when I did go back to work.”

  “Was he upset about me?” Lisa asked, worried now that she might have been a source of friction between her parents.

  “No, of course not. I was having the usual emotional ups and downs created by hormones. Still, we fought and he wouldn’t back down from his opinion that I was spoiling your sister. I was so angry. I walked out and went to my sister-in-law’s. But I soon regretted my foolish mistake. I knew that if your father and I were going to get past our differences, we needed to talk them out.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I left Anne Marie at your aunt Helen’s house, swallowed my pride and went home. And I’m so glad I did because your father was leaving to take a course in Tampa the next day. If I hadn’t gone back, I would never have been able to say how sorry I was for the stupid argument.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “We made up and he invited me to go with him to Tampa. I arranged for Anne Marie to stay with Helen and we left that night, feeling closer than we had since we were first married,” she said, her voice low, her eyes fixed on some distant point.

  “We were still talking when the eighteen-wheeler crossed the median and plowed into us.”

  “Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Lisa asked.

  Carolyn smiled at Lisa, her face alight with love. “I thought it would be too painful for you after losing your mom, and I didn’t want to cause you any more sadness. I realize now that you need to understand something very important before it’s too late.”

  Feeling her mother’s love, Lisa took her hand. “What’s that?”

  “If we hadn’t listened to each other, if we’d let our anger and fear of rejection rule our relationship, I would’ve been hiding out at Helen’s house during the last few hours your father lived. Can you imagine how horrible it would’ve been to face the guilt of knowing that I allowed my pride to stand in the way of making up with Grant?”

  Lisa was speechless at how easily the outcome between her parents could have been so different, if her mother had not gone home to her father.

  “You must have been very thankful for the chance to spend those last hours with Dad.”

  “It wasn’t simply chance. I made the conscious decision to do whatever I could to keep our marriage strong. If I’d been stubborn, I would have regretted it.”

  “I hope I can do that when the time comes,” Lisa said wistfully.

  “But, Lisa, that’s the whole point. The time has come for you and Mason. When are you going to swallow that pride of yours and talk to him?”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  HER MOTHER’S WORDS still echoing in her head, Lisa drove across town to Mason’s house, only to realize that he might not be there. She pulled over to the curb and called him on her cell. He answered immediately, and she felt silly about being so impetuous.

  You’d better get this right, it’s your last chance.

  “Mason, it’s me, Lisa,” she said, gripping the phone with one hand while she steadied the other on the wheel.

  “Hey, it’s good to hear from you. Everything all right?”

  He sounded distracted, but she had to say the words before she lost her courage. “Can I come over? Is this a bad time?”

  “No. In fact I was going to call you. I want to explain what you saw in the hospital and apologize for not calling you, but my life has been insane. There’s so much I need to tell you.”

  He had things to tell her? Lisa was very proud of herself for the way she had taken control over her own life recently, and she didn’t want to lose that—even for Mason. If they were to have any kind of relationship, he had to understand that they were equals. What she wanted was every bit as important as what he wanted. “I want to talk to you, too.” She closed the phone, thrilled at feeling in control of the situation. Now that he’d agreed to meet, what was she going to say? How should she begin? Should she wait for him to speak first? No! She was the one taking the initiative, and she would have her say.

  Lisa pulled back into the traffic and was on Mason’s street a few minutes later—just in time to see Sara leave Mason’s driveway.

  What was Sara doing here?

  But why wouldn’t she be there if they were back together?

  The memory of their embrace flashed across her mind. Letting the engine idle, she clenched the wheel, trying to steady her thoughts.

  It had all seemed so simple a moment ago, before she’d seen Sara leaving Mason’s house. But now, doubt creeped in, and she felt utterly alone. What was she doing here?

  Had Mason sent Sara away so he could talk to Lisa, give them a little privacy while he broke the news?

  He’d probably told Sara that he owed Lisa an explanation, and that he hadn’t managed to give it to her at the hospital. Meanwhile she’d come all the way across town to blurt out her feelings for him.

  Her determination of a few minutes ago flowed out of her on a wave of mortification. What a fool she’d been! Why had she been so impulsive?

  You promised Mom you’d talk to Mason.

  Her mother had faith in her, loved her and wanted the best for her. That was why she’d encouraged Lisa to talk to Mason. She breathed deeply, remembering her mother’s courage all these years—her courage. She was her mother’s daughter and she could do this. She clamped her lips together and squeezed the wheel even tighter. Damn! Mason did owe her an explanation.

  She barely had the car door open when Mason came striding across the lawn, a hesitant smile on his face. “Come on in the house,” he said, beckoning her toward the back door. “I’m glad you came.”

  Lisa’s heart beat faster and her determination wavered, but remembering her mother’s words, she followed him inside.

  As soon as she entered the house, she could hear
SpongeBob on the TV and Peter’s delighted laughter.

  “Want a cup of coffee? I made a fresh pot,” he said as she closed the door.

  “That would be nice,” she said through dry lips.

  Near the end of the kitchen counter she could see several packed bags and a collection of toys.

  “Have a seat and I’ll find some food. Might even scare up a cranberry muffin, just for you.”

  Muffins? How could he talk about muffins one minute and tell her was leaving the next?

  “Are you having one?” she asked, an odd squeak in her voice as she stared at him.

  “If you are. There’s not much else in the house.”

  No food in the house usually meant somebody wasn’t planning to be there very long. Her stomach roiled.

  “Was that Sara leaving as I drove up?” she asked as she scrambled to find a way out of her misery. She couldn’t sit here and drink coffee as if nothing had changed. He obviously planned to move to L.A. Otherwise, why all the suitcases and the empty fridge?

  Would he have told her he was leaving if she hadn’t called? Had her phone call reminded him that he wanted to give her some sort of explanation? She’d never know for sure now, but one thing was clear. Faced with the reality of his packed bags and devotion to Peter, she couldn’t tell him that she loved him. She had to get out of this house.

  “You need to be with Peter before he…before the flight to L.A.”

  Feeling humiliated, she turned to the door, anxious to reach the safety of her car.

  “Lisa, wait! What’s going on?” he asked, striding across the kitchen. Taking her by the shoulders, he turned her around, forcing her to face him.

  “Look, I have news,” he said, “but I also need your advice. Why don’t you and I sit down in the living room and talk? Peter will be fine. Nothing distracts him from SpongeBob.”

  Mason’s smile warmed the space around her and yet…it sent her heart plummeting. He’d never asked for her advice before, except maybe about the choice of tie or what shirt to wear.

  “Why do you need my advice?”