Reclaiming Love

by Shirleen Davies

  “Probably, but we need to check anyway.” This time his phone rang. “Monroe.” He listened a moment. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” He glanced at Julia. “I’ve got to leave. I’ll let you know when the security company will be here.” Adam opened the door then turned back to her. “Keep watch, Julia. We can’t assume this guy isn’t a threat.”

  ~~~~~

  Chapter Eight

  “Have a seat, Chief Monroe. The mayor will be with you in a few minutes.”

  He’d lost track of time while at Julia’s, missing the original appointment by over an hour. As far as he knew, the mayor had nothing pressing—at least that’s what Adam hoped.

  “You can go in now.”

  Adam walked into the office, noting the scowl on the mayor’s face. “Apologies, Mayor. A situation came up I had to take care of.”

  “I heard you left the office with Julia Kerrigan. Personal business is no excuse for missing our meeting.”

  “She came in to lodge a complaint about someone harassing her. Wasn’t much I could do except go check it out.”

  The mayor’s expression changed at Adam’s explanation. “What’s going on with Julia?”

  “Seems someone may have fixated on her. Sending flowers with a message but no name, calling but not speaking, leaving a package in her car—”

  “Doesn’t she lock it?”

  “It was parked in her garage.”

  The mayor let out a whispered expletive.

  “I couldn’t see how he got inside. She has combination locks on all her outside doors and swears no one has the code except family. Right now, I believe she’s more irritated than afraid.”

  “What do you think?”

  Adam explained the packages they’d both received, how Julia had already spoken with both the florists in town, and the last call before he’d left her home.

  “Sounds to me as if this has been brewing for some time. My arrival triggered his actions as I must assume he doesn’t want us back together.”

  “Is there a chance of that?”

  Adam fingered the brim of his hat, contemplating how much to say. He knew the mayor to be a distant relation to the Kerrigan family with a particular fondness for Julia.

  “Perhaps.”

  “Well, you just hang in there.” The mayor’s chuckle caught Adam by surprise. After what happened, he assumed no one associated with the Kerrigans would ever want to see them reunited. “You let me know if there’s anything I can do on this. Joshua will be mighty upset if this goes any further.”

  Adam nodded. “If there’s nothing else…”

  “There is one other item, which is why I wanted to meet with you. The rodeo is coming to town in July and you’ve been selected as the Grand Marshal for the parade.”

  Adam groaned. All he wanted was to do his job. “I don’t—”

  “Now I know you don’t like being in the spotlight. The problem is, you were the selection of both the City Council and the Rodeo Committee. Hell, Adam, it’s an honor. Enjoy it.”

  “Fine.” He stood and slammed his hat on his head. “If that’s it, I’ll get back to the office and the Kerrigan case.”

  The mayor waved him off, already picking up the phone.

  ******

  “Thanks, Dad. I’ll be sure and let Selena know.” Julia hung up then opened her email, scanning the latest messages. One, in particular, caught her attention, with a subject line stating it was urgent. She didn’t recognize the sender, but opened it anyway, her jaw dropping as she read it.

  I have pictures of what you did. Stay away from Monroe or I’ll post them so all can see.

  Her hand came up to her throat as her heart thundered in her chest. She tried to wrap her mind around the message and its implication she’d done something illegal or immoral. Whatever this person had must be devastating or they wouldn’t threaten its release.

  She thought through her business dealings, personal relationships, and civic activities, coming up with nothing that could be considered illegal, and certainly nothing immoral. Her love life was a joke. She’d been scrupulous about the men she dated since Adam, taking no chances of getting hurt again. No married men, not even men who’d been through a recent breakup. At this point, no one knew she and Adam were seeing each other on a casual basis. Sex pretty much consisted of the battery operated gizmo Calypso had given her a few years ago when Julia had let slip the length of time since she’d slept with a man.

  She believed most thought her relationship with Mark had turned intimate. It hadn’t, and given her feelings, never would. Deep down, Julia believed she lacked something. If not, Adam wouldn’t have walked away, leaving her with a crushing sense of insecurity.

  There’d been two men since Adam. The first one had been a disaster. The second, uninspiring.

  She reached for the phone as another email popped up from a different sender. The subject line read take a look. Her hand shook as she opened the message, watching as an image opened bit-by-bit, until she knew without doubt, what it showed.

  Julia drew in a sharp breath as her phone began to ring. She answered, not able to take her gaze off the image.

  “Hello…” she breathed out.

  “It’s Adam. We have a meeting at seven tonight with the security company.”

  “Can you come to my office? I, uh…”

  He could hear the tension in her voice laced with fear. “I’ll be right there.”

  Julia hung up, closing the message, and burying her face with her hands.

  ******

  Adam dashed into the office, ignoring Tricia as he opened Julia’s door, seeing her stare at her computer screen.

  “Chief Monroe, you—”

  “It’s all right, Tricia. I asked him to come.”

  Adam pulled the door closed, not liking the ghost white appearance of Julia’s face or the way her lower lip trembled. “What is it?” He walked up to her, leaning over, draping an arm across her shoulders while glancing at the screen.

  She clicked the message, letting the photo reappear.

  Adam watched as an image of the two them, making love, filled the screen. His hand clasped her shoulder as he murmured an oath. She scrolled further and another image appeared, this one more explicit, with a clear view of each face.

  She looked up at him, her face ashen. “What are we going to do? He’s threatened to make these public.”

  He twisted her chair around, grasping her shoulders, and pulling her up to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest as she tried to control the panic pulsing through her.

  “Julia, look at me.” He lifted her chin with a finger, his face calm, reassuring. “We did nothing wrong. We were young and in love.” His hand splayed across her back, moving up and down in a soothing motion. “The person who took these and sent them to you is the one who’s sick.” He locked his gaze with hers, trying to control the anger surging through him. “We will find whoever is doing this and stop him.”

  He could feel her arms tighten around him, her body shaking as she let her forehead rest once again on his chest. His chin lowered to the top of her head. Adam closed his eyes, loving the feel of her body aligned with his after all these years. He knew those thoughts were out of line, especially now. But God help him, he wanted her with a craving he’d never been able to crush.

  “Do you recognize who sent this?”

  “No.”

  “All right, we’ll shut down your computer and take it to the station. There’s an expert I can bring in to track where the message came from, and with luck, who sent it.”

  She looked up. “I don’t want anyone to see them.”

  “I’ll do everything I can to keep the number of eyes on this to just those who must have access. You’ll have to trust me.” He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before stepping away.

  ******

  Julia paced back and forth in her living room as she and Adam waited for the security technician to arrive. They’d secured h
er computer at the police station pending the arrival of the computer expert the following day. Adam wanted to use someone he knew in Spokane, a person without any connection to Peregrine Bay. A man he could trust to keep his mouth shut.

  She stopped at the window and swiveled back to face him. “You’re certain he’s the best for this? I can get Toby—”

  “And have him see those pictures of us. Not a chance.”

  Julia crossed her arms and bit her lower lip.

  “We’ll use Vic. If he fails to identify the person, we’ll try someone else. And, I’m staying here tonight.”

  She started to say something then closed her mouth when the doorbell rang. “We’re not finished with this conversation,” she said, opening the door.

  “Good evening. I’m Deke Costanza with Templar Security.”

  “Come on in. I’m Julia Kerrigan and this is Police Chief Monroe.”

  “Sorry the boss couldn’t be here. I guess you heard he’s out of town.” He shook their hands while looking around. “Why don’t you show me the house and we’ll go from there.”

  An hour later they’d agreed on a system and price. Deke had Julia sign the agreement then arranged to have the installation team return the following day.

  “I’ll let you know if there’s any delay. The boss said you also need a system for your place. Is it okay if we meet there later this week?” he asked Adam.

  “Let me call you. I need to get access since the deal hasn’t closed yet.”

  “Gotcha. Just let me know.”

  Julia closed the door behind Deke then whipped around to stare at Adam. “I’m not certain it’s such a good idea for you to stay the night.”

  “On the sofa. You’ll never know I’m here.” Adam stood and pulled out his car keys. “I’m pulling the cruiser into the garage. If he does come back tonight, I don’t want him to see it.”

  She thought of locking the door behind him, then reconsidered and opened the garage door to allow him access. It surprised her how disappointed she felt when he’d offered to sleep on the couch.

  It seemed almost surreal having him so close, yet feeling an invisible barrier separating them. Although she’d long ago come to accept that his decision to date was sound, she hadn’t arrived at the point of admitting it—or letting him know how much she regretted not allowing him to explain. The time they’d spent together since his return opened all the old wounds even as it gave her hope they could work it out, perhaps build a life. He’d take the next step if she’d give him the opportunity—she just needed to decide if she had the courage to open her heart to him again.

  “You know, if the person harassing me finds out you’re here, it just might trigger him to release the pictures across the Internet,” she said as he walked in from the garage.

  He tossed his keys on a table as he kept moving forward, not stopping until he stood inches from her, crowding her space. She tried stepping backward, stopping when she bumped into the edge of a chair. He didn’t make any move to touch her as his eyes searched her face.

  “I’m staying because I’m worried about you. And because you want me to.”

  “That’s not true.” She crossed her arms, doing her best to glower at him. Although the tactic worked on many people, it never had on Adam.

  “Right. And if I walked out that door, how would you feel?”

  “Glad.”

  He stepped closer, letting a finger trail down her cheek, seeing the slight shiver at his action. “You’re sure that’s how you’d feel?” He let his finger move lower, down the column of her neck to the top of her blouse.

  Even though she steeled herself against his touch, her breath caught as her feelings for him demanded release. She fisted her hands at her sides, let out a groan then stepped aside.

  ~~~~~

  Chapter Nine

  “Don’t, Adam. I can’t do this with you. Not again.” She kept stepping away until six feet separated them. “I think you should leave,” she whispered.

  “I’m not leaving tonight, Julia. At least not until we’ve had a chance to talk.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat, not wanting to revisit the past. “About what?”

  “The mess I made of our lives. The way we left it, with both of us feeling crushed.”

  “You, crushed? That’s not how I remember the night. You broke it off because you’d met someone else. What we had wasn’t good enough for you, so you bailed. It appears that didn’t work out for you.” Her voice rose as her anger spiked. She wanted to pound her fists into his chest, rage at him for all the hurt he’d caused, then wrap her arms around him and never let go. Her head ached at the mixed feelings battling within her.

  Adam shredded both hands through his short hair and closed his eyes, knowing everything she said was right, and hating himself for all of it. He dropped his arms to his sides, palms out.

  “No, it didn’t work out. I never thought it would. She was not the reason I wanted space…time to be certain we were making the right decision for the rest of our lives. I planned to marry one time, and I needed to be certain. Hell, Julia, we were nineteen. I didn’t want to go through what my parents did, talking divorce after twenty years. I needed to be sure.” He turned away from her, pacing several feet away and shoving his hands in his pockets.

  She took a few steps forward, not getting too close. “But your parents didn’t get a divorce.”

  He turned toward her, letting his gaze fall to the floor. “You never knew, but my mother called, asking that I come home a day earlier, on December 23. I’ll never forget that day…or the following.” He glanced up at her. “I walked into the house to see a stack of boxes and suitcases by the front door, my dad beginning to load them into the back of his truck. I knew they were having problems—we’d talked about it at Thanksgiving. That’s when I learned my dad hadn’t been ready to marry when they found out Mom was pregnant…with me. They were nineteen. I just couldn’t get the conversation out of my mind. When I went back to school after Thanksgiving, I decided to go out with a girl who’d been dogging me for months. I just wanted to figure things out.”

  “The cheerleader…” she breathed out, lowering herself to the sofa.

  “Someone told you about her?”

  “Yes. There were people who couldn’t wait to tell me how you’d moved on.” She gripped her hands together until her knuckles were almost white.

  “I’m sorry, Julia. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I knew, even then, it wouldn’t work with her. I didn’t think it would work with anyone but you. When my mom called and I got home for Christmas, saw what my parents were going through, I decided we did need the time to date other people, make sure what we felt had a chance to last.” He rested against a table, taking a breath, and shaking his head. “Mom and Dad worked through their problems. He moved out for a couple months. Both were miserable. They just had to go through the split to be sure.”

  She rested her elbows on her knees and lowered her head into her hands, all the hurt ripping through her again as if the breakup happened days instead of years ago.

  “I knew within a few months you were the one. No doubt. By then, you wouldn’t accept my calls, return emails, and your father refused to let me see you when I came home. I screwed it all up, Julia. You’ll never know how sorry I am for losing you.” He slumped onto the sofa, defeat like he hadn’t known in years washing over him.

  Julia wrapped her arms around her waist and tried to absorb all he’d said. She’d had some good years, done well in business, felt like a success. No one knew how alone she felt, how no one ever filled the void Adam created.

  “I’m a lousy date,” she stated in a calm voice.

  He looked over at her. “What’s that?”

  “Dating. I’m horrible at it.” She shook her head. “I’ve had less than a dozen dates…most were miserable.”

  “I heard you had a couple boyfriends.”

  She snorted. “One lasted two months and another less than that. Not w
hat I’d call a success story. Now you, I heard all kinds of stories of parties, beautiful coeds, live-in girlfriends. It sounded like you didn’t stumble at all.”

  “I broke it off with the first girl within a couple of months then fell flat on my face. About a year later, when I finally accepted you’d never let me explain or see you again, I did begin to go out. Not one girl I dated seemed right. At first, all they saw was a star college pitcher. They didn’t want me…they wanted the parties and spotlight. The injury to my arm during senior season made me take stock of everything. Graduating, being accepted into the police academy gave me purpose, and I enjoyed the work. I also found out how much women like a man in uniform—any uniform. I worked hard and played harder. Still, all I felt when I came home was hollow and empty inside. My apartment became a place to sleep before starting the routine all over again. Do you want to know why I accepted the job here?”

  Did she? She wasn’t sure. “Yes.”

  “You’re why I’m here. I knew you’d never married, and, well…I needed to see if there was a chance you’d ever forgive me, allow us to have another chance.”

  Elation warred with common sense, and dread. He’d said almost the same words at dinner, and she’d had the same reaction. She never thought they’d have another chance. Now he offered her the opportunity she’d dreamed about since the day he left. He sat a few feet away, a look of hope mingled with regret on his face. She needed to decide if fear or hope would rule her decision.

  She dropped her arms from around her waist and pushed from the chair, her inner turmoil becoming unbearable, knowing what she wanted and needing the courage to reach out for it. “Wine, beer…water?”

  “A beer would be great.” He joined her in the kitchen, feeling awkward and unsure.

  She handed him a bottle, poured her wine, and took a sip, letting the cool liquid bathe her throat. Resting against the counter, she turned toward him.

  “It’s been a long time, Adam, and we’ve changed so much.”

  “Not so much as you think.” He tipped back the bottle, taking a long swallow.